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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr012014

Penal Code Violations

NOTE: These cakes may have been meant for children, but the commentary is not. Double entendres ahead!

 

Do you ever get the feeling that certain bakers are up to some...er...monkey business?

I think this monkey lacks a certain...appeal.

 

I mean, maybe it's just me, but it seems like some of today's wreckerators are getting downright...

...nutty.

(I had two different readers send in two different pictures of this cookie cake, btw. See?)

There's something kind of awesome about having a pair of photos of a pair of...um...pink blobby things.

(Swinging plums? Low riders? Crown jewels? Man tonsils? Pant Potatoes? Scroto Baggins? Ok, internet, you've earned your keep tonight.)

Oh, and I *think* they were going for a heart. Maybe. And before you ask, no, the baker should not be sacked, because this is far too entertaining.

 

I'm sure some of you may think I'm being unfair. Well, not to worry, wreckerators; you'll get your day in court.

Just no dribbling, please.

 

There's a certain bakery chain (which shall continue to Remain Nameless) that has a rather curious carrot cake design. It looks like this:

You guys have sent me a bunch of examples, so I can assure you: this really is how the cake comes:

So my question is this: if we all sat around discussing the failings of this particular design, would that make it a circle jerk?

[Bah-dum-BAH!]

 

And while I'm being inquisitive, bakers, I've got to ask: do your wrecks ALWAYS have to look like dongs?

o.0

Ok, never mind.
Please bring the ding dongs back.

 

Thanks to Carrie C., Beth M., Rachael, Becca S., Nick D., Michelle W., & Richard for enabling me to make it four whole days into the new year before making a wiener joke. NEW RECORD!

Tuesday
Apr012014

The Big Bang Theory

When it comes to cake fireworks, bakers like to start things off with a bang:

Although sometimes they're less about writing the word BANG and more about...um...

...exploding...hotdogs.

 

Or...candy canes.

 

Or...

...defying the laws of physics.

(Ouch.)

 

Hey, you know what every 4th of July needs?
Exploding balls, that's what.

(Double ouch.)

 

I'm pretty sure this baker only works for tips:

"Ready...aim...."

 

Figures. Just when I find some fireworks that almost sorta kinda LOOK like fireworks...

...I realize they're supposed to be surfboards.

Because that totally makes sense.

 

Well, I guess it's only fair that we go out with a big bang:

Just make sure you have it home by 11.

 

Pro Tip: icing elevations lasting more than four hours may require professional attention. Discontinue piping and call your baker if you experience dizziness, sudden sugar cravings, or the uncontrollable urge to make cupcake cakes.

 

Thanks to Meredith M., Erin W., Holly A., Elisabeth M., Shara S., Laura R., Natalie & Jennifer for the bang-up job!