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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's a Wreck Off!

Alright, 'fess up, decorators: you're TRYING to outdo each other with the Wrecky cupcake cakes, now, aren't you?

Well, you leave me no choice. That's right, folks:


Now, let's go over the rules again, shall we?

1) Both cakes must be of the same subject matter, and the same basic form or shape.
2) The "winning" Wreck shall be the subject of scorn at company water coolers the world over for exactly one business day: no more, no less.
3) There are no other rules.


Well, folks, the Pastel Piranha came out swinging, taking full advantage of all that lumpy icing to better showcase its full pound of edible glitter. It's also showing its true colors "airbrush" style, and frankly, I think that creepy smiley face just may take home the prize today.

Ah, but wait, what's this?

OH! A devastating entrance has been made by Crazy Clash!

Wow, just look at that form. The hypnotic swirls, the glistening green slime, the death-pale torso! Crazy Clash may not float like a butterfly, my friends, but its design certainly is stinging my retinas like a particularly feisty bumblebee, I can tell you THAT.

What do you think, readers? Do we have a winner?

Michelle B. and Heather N., don't tell me this was staged: that just takes all the fun out of the sport.

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Reader Comments (227)

Cake number one was a solo affair - a bad one, but the blame can only go in one direction. There is at least, some continuity, albeit hideous. However, cake number two, Crazy Clash is obviously the work of a TEAM of numbskulls working independently, each with his/her own vision(optical impairment). CC ends up looking like a ghost trapped between a rainbow and a bright green hedge. Yikes.
And then there's that perfect "9" as if in absolution.


October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

The first one is pretty alarming, and this coming from a girly girl who normally doesn't shy aways from pastels, but my vote is definitely going for Crazy Clash. Because that green is kind of putrid.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

I vote for Crazy Clash, most definitely!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkirsten

I'm going to have to vote for Crazy Clash! I mean, you don't have to make the tops different to be able to tell the difference between the chocolate and vanilla cupcakes!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAppsNChaps

you can cast my vote for the second one(crazy clash).

However it wasn't the crazy swirls or the green goo- it was the teensy tiny "happy birthday" that got to me(did you notice that over on the left wing?)

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMackenzies Momma

The first one is waaay worse! (or a better wreck)

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKrol

Crazy Clash should definitely "win"!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The airbrushed one is definetly wierder. What is this 1986?

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterL

Shannon -
Poor little Megan! Everything about her cake is wrong - from the unrelated color schemes, to the misshapen butterfly wings, to the size of the writing. A tiny "happy birthday" compared to her name in large letters, and the large 9 candle in the corner. This one is by far worse than the other.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I've got to give it to Crazy Clash.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSherry

I've got to vote for Crazy Clash, although.....#1 isn't far behind.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoodleBunz

my eyes are spinning hypnotically in the swirly design of the second cup cake butter fly wreck! I am so totally agreeing that cup cakes shoudl be totally banned from cake hood forever! the only cool one i have ever seen was the cookie monster one.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

I have to say that the Pastel Piranha is the winner. Crazy Clash's lines are more even and well done, while the Pastel Piranha's face looks like it was drawn on with somebody's feet. The writing on Crazy Clash is confined to the wings, while the Pastel Piranha's seems to be taking over its torso. Also, Crazy Clash seems to be more symmetrical than the Pastel Piranha.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

My 2 year old saw the 1st wreck and said, "oohhh a butterfly". There was no recognition when I scrolled down to the next one. I guess that means Wreck 2 wins?

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaegan and Merry

Snap, how did I miss the Pastel Piranha's glitter? Wow. That just sends it over the edge, there. Patel Piranha FTW.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

Crazy Clash, hands down. When I was seven years old, I would have LOVED that first cake.

I must say, though, that not knowing what it was at first, I thought it was trying to be the U.S. Made for some confusion, lemme tell ya.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Expatria

Although Ashanti's cake get's an A for Effort, I have to vote for the the death-pale torso of Crazy Clash.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJase

Wow, those are both bad! Number two looks like...well, No. 2. (Eww!) I had to think about it long and hard, but I've finally decided that Pastel Piranha is the more nauseating. It could be because it reminds me of the Care Bears movie my daughter made me sit through 27 years ago that I've still not forgiven her for.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Uh... really? These were really bought and paid for? I dunno... they reek of homemade failure to me.

That said, the green slime oozes #2into infamy for me.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, I think crazy clash was staged. I mean, c'mon. REALLY?

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

While the glitter would be throat clogging, the slimy green is just revolting. My vote is for Megan's "cake"

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnnimal

#1, definitely. NOTHING should have that mich glitter. And pastels should be subtle. This is not.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermithrel

Number 2 by a long shot. The colors on the first aren't great, but at least the lettering matches and is well spaced. Number two has teeny tiny happy birthday in I think a toothpick and a huge name. WTF?

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Ewww. Looks like someone had a little too much fun with the airbrush.

I vote for #2. At least the first one is kind of vaguely symmetrical.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

My vote is for Ashanti. Crazy Clash is kind of friendly looking - I'm a sucker for a nice smile.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Super tough call! I have to vote for psychedelic #1, because the decorator was obviously experimenting psychedelically, if you know what I mean.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShelli

I vote Pastel Piranha all the way. My eyes are bleeeeeding.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

cake #2. At least the first one sort of looks like a butterfly...

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Krebs

#2 has my vote for being more wrecky

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My vote is for pastel puke! That cake is too crazy to be taken seriously (which I think it is meant to be) and the other one was clearly asked for specifically because why would you have two different colors? Awful! Both!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

#2 is the terrible one. #1 isn't that great either, though.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterArnĂ³r

Crazy Clash by a landslide for me.

At least the first one has wings of the same (albeit blinding) colour!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulianne

I love making butterfly crafts with the kids. It's so easy: All you need to do to make something look like a butterfly is to make sure there's symmetry.

Both of these Wrecks don't seem to get that simple idea.

Therefore, I abstain from the voting.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuggling Frogs

#2 is a default winner here, because as a couple of other people pointed out, the top one was decorated at home on the table. I see both wilton icing color pots and a decorator tip in the top of the photo...and I don't think any store has wooden tables that they do their decorating on...however, #2 would win anyway, so I guess it's like 6 of one, half a dozen of another. :-D

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachael M.

Bleeeech! Either one, flip a coin, but based purely on lack of effort, I'll give it to Crazy Clash by a hair.

Alix Hice

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

I didn't think anything could be worse than #1, until I saw #2. #2! #2!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBig Red

Crazy Clash has a Mothra vibe to it, so I vote for that one.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

#2 is by far the worse cake of the two, but the comment about the decorator tip got me looking more closely at the pictures. Anyone else notice that they're on identical gold cakeboards?

If it weren't for the airbrushing -- which amateurs are less likely to attempt -- I'd be convinced that these were both non-professional cakes masquerading themselves as wrecks!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterC

crazy clash! at least megan's only 9 (by the looks of it) and will have enjoyed it anyway! but it's the definite winner!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteree

I'm gonna go with Crazy Clash for sure.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica Denise

Crazy Clash, definitely!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Ouch! Touch call on this one, but I'm going with Crazy Clash. I just can't figure out what they were going for with this one!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Hey, I don't know if anyone's pointed this out yet, but the site had a couple lines in this month's (I think) Details magazine. I will scan it if you want.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

I think I vote for the pink-and-purple monstrosity, since the smiley face is messier. But it's close!

I actually considered making a partially-cupcake cake for my son's upcoming birthday. I think I may, in spite of the wrecks I see, lol. I want it to look like a John Deere tractor, and there's no way I can do that with a regular cake. But if I can figure something out with 8" squares and rounds.....

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

#2 is particularly bad. I think I'd scrape off the top and save the cupcake!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHollee

Crazy Clash is the clear winner, what with its two very graphic depictions of possible deaths. (The green monster Scylla on the right, the swirling vortex Charybdis on the left)

Although, that edible glitter does make my teeth curl...

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStilettos and Nostalgia

I vote Crazy Clash - the tie-dye effect and the green slime won me over....

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

No way are these even professional CCcakes and they are most definitely made at the same place. Exact same boards and exact same table? With decorating stuff in the back of one pic? I think this was a bakeoff/decorate-off but between kids.

And if I'm right (and I'm pretty sure I am) I abstain from voting because it's not fair to knock kids' decorating skills.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterholly

\@ @/

crazy-clash-is-the-winner- crazy-clash-is-the-winner- crazy-clash-is-the-winner- crazy-clash-is-the-winner- crazy-clash-is-the-winner- crazy-clash-is-the-winner- crazy-clash-is-the-winner-

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I gotta say #2, just because of the (LOUD, it's true) coordinating color scheme on butterfly 1. But 2 is not only the wings from 2 poor, bisected flutterbies stuck on a dead caterpillar, but look at that (tiny) happy birthday and Meagan! obviously a stock cake personalized with no attempt to match inscription design I'd say it takes the (cupcake)cake, so to speak.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

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