My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's a Wreck Off!

Alright, 'fess up, decorators: you're TRYING to outdo each other with the Wrecky cupcake cakes, now, aren't you?

Well, you leave me no choice. That's right, folks:


Now, let's go over the rules again, shall we?

1) Both cakes must be of the same subject matter, and the same basic form or shape.
2) The "winning" Wreck shall be the subject of scorn at company water coolers the world over for exactly one business day: no more, no less.
3) There are no other rules.


Well, folks, the Pastel Piranha came out swinging, taking full advantage of all that lumpy icing to better showcase its full pound of edible glitter. It's also showing its true colors "airbrush" style, and frankly, I think that creepy smiley face just may take home the prize today.

Ah, but wait, what's this?

OH! A devastating entrance has been made by Crazy Clash!

Wow, just look at that form. The hypnotic swirls, the glistening green slime, the death-pale torso! Crazy Clash may not float like a butterfly, my friends, but its design certainly is stinging my retinas like a particularly feisty bumblebee, I can tell you THAT.

What do you think, readers? Do we have a winner?

Michelle B. and Heather N., don't tell me this was staged: that just takes all the fun out of the sport.

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Reader Comments (227)

oooh why did i eat that toast before looking at these wrecks? my head and tummy are swirling as much as the wing on that schizophrenic butterfly.

#2 is the bigger wreck although i do give credit at least #2 made the effort to smooth the icing on top before going all psycho on it. #1 might not be as bad as it is if they'd at least avoided the lumpy swirly icing under all that airbrushed color.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaire

I'd say staged. They're on the same type of cake board and sitting on what looks to be the same kitchen table. It also looks like Wiltons colors sitting there? I'd have to go with #2 though.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pastel Piranha wins IMHO. Diagonally-striped butterfly??

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAUA

I vote for Crazy Clash. Who could not vote for such an extraordinarily confused creature? Unless its mother was a chameleon and it's father is continuously stuck in the 60s. Also, it seems to be made of at least 2 different flavors of cupcake...

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

The first one is definitely the worst!

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJacki

#2 looks like it's suffering a horrible case of gangrene on that right wing there.


October 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commentererin

I gotta go with the masses; the randomness of #2 is a winner. Has the "professional" ever SEEN a butterfly? The wings usually match, and their bodies are not grubs. But also, how lazy is this professional that they just stick a plastic "Happy Birthday" pin-thingy into the cake instead of writing it?

I think you've put the fear of misspelling into them.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterQuiteLight

Are you sure that "Crazy Clash" is a professional job? It looks like a cake that two kids did, and the parent did the middle and had each kid decorate one wing however they wanted so they wouldn't feel left out.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

#2 wins for the sheer fact that the butterfly's body looks like a MAGGOT!

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermeleah360

Cake number 2 evokes an extreme feeling of nausea. It's right up there with the boat ride from the Original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory....same feeling.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDevine Diva

Crazy Clash. The final straw? Look how deeply that 9 has sunk into the green ooze frosting. I'm not sure there ARE cupcakes under there - it looks like it's ooze all the way down.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBarry

We vote the Megan cake (#2, appropriately). Um, since when does a butterfly have two different color wings. She also took the time to write her name but not happy birthday...ACK!

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCupcake Envy

I vote for the 2nd one.

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

At least the first one's wings match. Where have you ever seen a butterfly with two different colored wings?

October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think #1 should win if only because at first glance it looks like it says "Happy Birthday Asshat."

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdugshop

The Ashanti cake is scary with its tacky 80s colors, but the Crazy Clash is an insult to all that is good and sweet about flour, eggs and sugar. It's like three awful, unrelated cakes united by proximity alone. Crazy Clash FTW!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfug estate

Judging by those pre-adolescent elbows I'd say it's not staged. My vote is #2.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBetsyCrocker

One vote for Crazy Clash.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my God. I've been repeating that to myself since I laid eyes on #2, the pink, blue, and green wonder. And I can't even laugh out loud at it because I'm at work.

The color combination, the wings so mismatched in shape and color, the size of the Happy Birthday, especially as compared to the Megan, the blurry edges of the psychedelic colors.

Number 1 is bad, but Number 2 gets my vote. In fact, I'd put it as a strong contender for best (worst?) of the month.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

oh gawd...they both look like they were done by somebody who's on way too much LSD, but the decorator of the 2nd cake must've been having a really bad trip. Crazy Clash for the win! er, lose,, hmm.
let me put it this way- Pastel Puke is the least worst.

word ver: iming
when you are miming to yourself

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbutcherbaby

Worst one? Crazy Clash.

July 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Crazy Clash wins for me, because... slime green? For food? Really?
But I'm not so sure that decorating tip means it wasn't a professional job... I mean, if I got this cake delivered to my door, my first thought would be to grab some redecorating supplies.

August 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Crazy Clash ...without doubt..the overall... "winner"! xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

SAMANTHA MY EYES! THE BURN! By the way, cake #2 wins.

October 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Samantha I'd have to say that the first cake probably would have made me poop glitter for a week, but cake #2 still wins.

October 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Crazy clash without doubt. Grade= F+ ;) xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Definitely Crazy Clash!!!!!!!!!YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

February 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

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