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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming! The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming!

Field Wreckporter Lydia A. reports that these insidious body-snatchers have abducted a bevy of ballroom dancers, and are currently terrorizing local bakeries' display cases. They carry the heads of their hapless victims and are often accompanied by disgusting black squid-like creatures, which has prompted at least one 8-year-old boy to declare them "way cool". Readers are encouraged to keep an eye out for these monstrous mini-menaces.

And by the by, these perfectly illustrate my #1 problem with doll cakes: synthetic hair in the frosting = me being reintroduced to breakfast the unpleasant way. Yech.

UPDATE: It's official: y'all are feeling the love for mutant eyeball cakes. Who knew? :)

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Reader Comments (139)

Yuck! I'm just not that into gross halloween stuff.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

We have this high-end glasses shop here in Philly (two branches, actually), called Modern Eye. Their shops have eye-based decorations everywhere - painted on stuff, in the center of fake flowers, you name it. Along with very comfy Victorian-looking chairs, go figure. They've won awards/been in magazines for their interior design, because it's so wackily awesome.

Their mascots are a man and woman just like these, albeit in swimsuits - but in any case, with a single huge eyeball for a head. You can get t-shirts of them, even. So you can guess what these cupcakes remind me of!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Oh my my my. To what depth are we reaching when we somehow get up one day, go to work and decide.. "Todays the day people. We are rippin the heads off dolls and shovin on eyeballs!"

Who does this??

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

Eeew, the hair is WRONG. I like the eyeball cake, but the doll hair - just, not RIGHT!!!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Ooooh, and here I thought I'd be the lone freak who liked these! I think they're fab. And my mom would love 'em too. In fact, I kind of want to make some myself. The occasional synthetic hair would be totally worth it, imo.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

Great. As if dolls cakes weren't creepy enough.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

When I called my husband over to see this, I had accidently hit something that made the picture far more than screen sized and it was showing the skirts of the figures. He starts with "I know she doesn't like cupcake c-" as I was scrolling up and that's where he stopped speaking, followed bya shocked pause, moving into laughter. I think he agrees with the 8 year old. My 14 year old daughter thinks they are beyond 'way cool' and are simply awesome.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

This is so awesome.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I actually really like these as Halloween cakes. After all, it's the one time of year when dessert should be horrifying!! There's clearly a healthy dose of self-awareness in the design of these cakes ...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNicky

I think this cake is wreck-tastic, but maybe, just maybe, the creator was inspired by Ralph Waldo Emerson and his transparent eyeball. I can't say that I remember what the meaning was, I just thought it was weird. However, someone thought Emerson was cool.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersonyacarlson

Despite the fact that orange is my favourite colour, that cake is gross (IMO)! I'm eating D:

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYénifer

I just wanted to say this blog is hilarious! I love it! :)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarmen

It's scary and it looks ke it belongs in a japanese horror film.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

Omg, way too cool. I love 'em! And I am far from 8 years old or male. The rest of my household now wants eyeball cakes, but they are all male so I'm not surprised. These cakes would go perfect with the IV running red punch bowl and the rubber hands holding candy at a Halloween party.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Was this picture taken in CT? I just saw these in the store the other day! I immediately thought of sending a pic to cake wrecks, but I guess Field Wreckporter Lydia A beat me to it.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah+2girls

I love it.

I agree that:

fake doll hair+cake=bad

fake doll bodies=icky

but all things considered, I think they're brilliantly funny...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCanadianChick

Those are so kool!!!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Hatter

What the heck??? lol These are sad, sad, sad! Definitely not something I would run out to buy. Guess I am in the minority on here today though! lol

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

What is Sauron doing on that cake?

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDark Phoenix (Nixa)

I had to look at if for a minute to figure out what it was!

I do hope I have a pic of this, but as a joke one year I asked my hubby for one of those doll cakes. Since Barbies always seem to have a theme, I asked that mine have the following theme: Prom Night Carrie Barbie, which ended up being probably the average doll cake, but with the added element of being covered in globs of dripping red gel icing. He said the decorator acted frightened of him when he went to pick up the cake.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterb

This cake is awesome!!! I _love_ it, and I plan to do it myself, but I know that I'm gonna have to add some blood and gore to mine. : ) How did I never think of doing this? It's brilliant!

And may I add, it is far more creative than any yawn-inducing-fondant-figure covered concoction that I've seen of late.

I'm gonna be popping the heads off everything I can put on a cake now. Hmmm...giant eyball headed baby carrot jockeys -- now THAT would be cool...

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralicia policia

Wow, it is like Grant Morrison "Sea Guy" comic all over! Mickey Eye cakes! Awesome!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSkiriki

JC's link goes to a cake of Spike from Buffy!! That, my friend, is no wreck! It's freaking fantastic! I recognized it right away, and never would have imagined he could look so good in marzipan. Mmmmm....good enough to eat!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolli

I think these are awesome! Ew on the synthetic hair, obviously, but if I saw these in the store I'd buy one just for laughs. And then eat it, of course.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBren

"If you keep making that face, one of these will get stuck making it."


"Dr. Eyecare, you can't scare your patients into wearing their glasses."

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Oh wow. Props for the imagination though!


October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura and Tom

OMG!!! in drag!! performance art to a new high!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Advertise these things somewhere that goths hang out. You'll do mad business, trust me. I don't have a single friend who wouldn't love these things!

In fact, you know....I have the cake supplies...I could just get the eyeballs at party city....


--Miranda, the mad goth chick

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Ewwww. Not loving the eyeball people. And I agree, yuck with the synthetic hair in the frosting. Makes me think I'll hack up a hairball just thinking about it!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Definately not a wreck. I dig Halloween, and these are pretty much the ONLY cupcake dolls that I have ever liked. Were I an 8 year old boy, I would have thought these were hysterical. It's over-the-top, but it's SUPPOSED to be over-the-top.H appy Halloween!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRATSAWGOD

(insert SCREAM) well if they were going for scary...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkyooty

That is the coolest thing ever. I just love them! Creepy... but not because they are horribly done! Great job!

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFuzzy Izmit

I HATE doll cakes but my only complaint about this is that they didn't simply toss the doll heads (total agreement on the hair + cake and frosting = nasty). It's so anti doll cake though and absolutely creepy that I actually like it!

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

i want one of these for my birthday! seriously! and i'm female and, er, well past the age of having dolly cakes.
but then again i have a thing for eyeballs......

and PS: Residents and Tolkienr eferences FTW!!!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbutcherbaby

All these comments and not one single Medama-Oyaji reference? Come on, I thought it was obvious. He's as well-known in Japan as Hello Kitty.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaser Potato

I have to admit, I would TOTALLY buy one of these. XD 10/10 for imagination! Also a 10/10 on the disturbing scale, perfect for Halloween! I can see why it's a Wreck though. My taste has never been the best~

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWildroses

I'll just say: WAY better than standard doll cake!

August 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Looks like a toy scene from The nightmare before christmas...when jack takes over christmas town! lol xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Why is there a cake on the floor in the background?

April 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Hunky Punky

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