My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Dirty-Minded Decorators

Aw, look at the sweet cake for Sarah-Maude's second birthday:

[squinting] Although, those balloons look a little odd, don't they? Let's take a closer look...

[eyes bulging] Great Scott! Hide the children!!

And I KNOW you see what I see, people, so don't even try to accuse me of having my mind in the gutter. It's the Fireman cake all over again.

Eric N., thank goodness this was for a safely oblivious 2-year-old. Still, given how obvious those balloons are, I'm pretty sure I'd steer clear of this bakery in the future. Unless it was for a bachelorette party, of course.

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Reader Comments (121)

hahaha..! I would not have been able to stop giggling if I was at that party.

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase.."eat me"

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I thought they were malformed sperm (HUGE heads, small tails) celebrating the mystery of life ... the two-year young life of Sarah-Maude.

My German-born mom's penmanship is just like what's on this cake. We gotta give the baker props for NO QUOTATION MARKS!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCaliGirl9

Oh My, well I'm just speachless.
It does make you wonder about the decorator though.
If it was my daughters cake, I think I would have to stand at the counter and ask a bit to loudly "WHY ARE THERE PENISIS ON MY 2 YEAR OLDS CAKE?" Ya know cuz obviously I'd be wondering.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

who thought that was okay?!?!? I mean, someone else HAD to have seen this. You'd think a fellow decorator or the checkout girl at the bakery or a manager or for the love of god SOMEONE would have spotted this and said something along the lines of "Dude, your friggin balloons look like penises. What's the deal?"

I mean, that's what I would have said.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

*Hides her eyes*

Mes yeux!! Mes yeux!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManders

Um, not to be too graphic here but French willies(which usually have all original *ahem* accoutrements) would not look like this. So it's somewhat understandable that what we see as the distinctive anatomical detail would go unnoticed.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why do penis' have to be so ugly?

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

As if the name "Sarah-Maude," isn't bad, incongruous, and Bea-Arthur-ish enough...she has to put up with a penis cake for her 2nd birthday. If this is the cake, then I can only shudder in horror as I imagine the gifts that little Sarah-Maude got to open that day.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMagsP

looking for a moment beyond how grossly inappropriate this cake is (with all due respect to the defenders herein), I am actually quite impressed at the accuracy of the... um... representation (assuming circumcision, of course).

Should I ever be in charge of a bachelorette cake again, I'll take this photo and say "you CAN do it! It doesn't have to look like a big pink baseball bat"

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterharmzie

I'd have to say that it's probably more of a canadian wreck than a french wreck. We don't do this kind of decorated cakes, I've never seen anything like this in any kind of french bakery. That's definitly north american, so either it was for a french family in the US or from canada.
Bu yeah, OHMYGOD, adults must have been giggling when seing that, kids just don't care.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercarotte

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! that was great

im so getting something like that for my kid's birthday cake

that is, once i have kids :)

then i can tease them when they get older and show them what they ate as a child *evil grin*

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkoalabear

Well !!! it's a french canadian cake!!!! I need to know where exactly this cake come from since I live in montreal and my daughter will be 2 y/o in less than 2 weeks!!!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was howling at the comment, then almost had an accident after reading The Courteous Chihuahua's observation.

Hilarious. :-)

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

Comment dit-on "scarred for life" en francais?!?!?!

Pauvre Sarah-Maude!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

WOW. Just... wow.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

lord this is horrible! thanks for the laugh

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

That cake is stunning. They did know it was for a little girl, right?

Those BALLoons can't have been an accident!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

Oh, and minor detail compared with the "balloons", but "fete" is spelled with an accent circonflexe (fête), not aigu (féte), which is what that blob over the first "e" in "fete" looks like to me...unless maybe it's spelled that way in Canada? Any input, Eric?

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

It is in French, you know how open minded they are over there. Just getting started early is all. :)

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily McKenzie

I was on the phone when I scrolled down to the second photo and had to put my phone on mute while I laughed raucously. Hilarious!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennyF

I don't think there's any way those were *meant* to be balloons. I love it. I think it's hilarious!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Zut alors!

I see penises too...pauvre fille!

I like Sarah-Maude's name though!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna McCarthy

I have no words.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHi Kooky

OMG, that was hilarious! I literally gasped when I saw the second photo.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Hahaha... what's even funnier is that the decorator obviously doesn't have a grasp of anatomy or, worse yet, hasn't seen, touched, or played with a ... uh ... BALLoon in a very long time. Did you notice that some of them look like they contain only one BALL? Some of the others must belong to very old men - they're crooked and hang funny. They even look wrinkly. I also agree with one of the other commenters - there are no little swimmers to complete the picture. Thanks for brightening up my day LOL.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPam the Yarn Goddess

Wow, that decorator must be the disgruntled Disney animator who made the naughty x-rated towers on the Little Mermaid movie covers when fired!!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Bon-fete, indeed!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachael M.

This is hysterical on one level...totally wrong on other your blog!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergirlafraid75

Those poor circumcised balloons ;)

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your blog is hysterical! I posted about the Walmart cake ("Under Neat that") last week after my friend Zach sent it to me and SO many people commented about it! A few people told me they'd seen it on your site and that I should check it I can see why! OMG. Penis balloons on a two-year-old's cake?! I can't even...

Love this!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lil Bee

Are cake decorators generally this passive-aggressive?


October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes, the worst part of this is definitely the squirtys coming out!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterramsam

What? Those are just how French balloons look.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Ils sont pénis! Oui?!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterasillylittlegirl

This kind of thing makes me wonder if it was completely accidental (God, please!) or if the cake decorator was intentionally making the balloons look like that because they knew they could hide under the defense of "What?! They're balloons!"

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, the upside-down view is sooo deceptive. Those are pretty li-, er, lame decorations.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I wish this had been posted prior to my bachelorette party. My MOH went the far more direct route and made a penis cake with toasted coconut in the appropriate area. Which was a lot of fun in a bar, but it would've been fun to see how many drunk people would've realized what these were.

She'd've had to use white "strings", though - the model for this cake should see a doctor.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I see it too. At first they looked like tacs to me, then came the second view, *oh! what the!* Well it's a tac-ky cake none-the-less.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMechelle

Well, at least we know Patrick Stewart didn't create the cake. Otherwise it would just be an image of a woman going to the bathroom!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

Wowzers. Sometimes you just never know if these wrecks are the work of a disgruntled employee.

The fireman cake story was hilarious...and a little sad. I could just picture that earnest decorator making that cake.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh. My. Goodness. !!! What was this decorator thinking??!! No, wait - I don't want to know.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

First time poster here! Like she said, at least kids are totally oblivious to these things! Hopefully the parents were able to have a bit of a laugh over it!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterheelsdown

I think it's obvious what line of work this decorator was in before they went into baking. Who the hell makes frosting balloons that way? Seriously? On the other hand, I know a whole bunch of people who would have so much fun consuming this wreck.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Oh Dear! I knew that those were um, those wieners you were talking about when I saw the cake right side up!

Thank goodness 2 year olds don't know what wieners are for!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Tantrum

Oh, Lord! I've read this blog for awhile now, and tonight I have to say I've laughed until i've cried!Hilarious. Especially the comments.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Happy birthday, darling. Now that you're two, let's have a talk about the birds and the bees."

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

I want a piece with a blue "balloon" on it!!!

October 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

hm... hillarious. and so WRONG on so many levels. XD

October 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

Oh dear god. Those crazy Quebecois and their liberal sex practices!

Why did the decorator not say to themselves... hey, you know what, maybe I ought to just start over. Nobody is going to want to eat giant mounts of way-too-brightly-coloured icing in the shape of very happy penises.

My theory is that they accidentally mixed up the order with one for a bachelorette party being picked up on the same day... and flipped the cake and added the strings to cover up the flub!

October 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFleeting

I thought the things at the bottoms of the balloons were supposed to represent the knots tied in the balloons to keep the air in. Sadly, this overattention to detail has really led to some pretty phallic balloons.

Penis Power! E=D

October 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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