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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct302008

And Now the Conclusion of The Spider Wreck Chronicles

Ok, I think yesterday's post was getting a little Wreck-less there, what with the cute dreadlocked spiders and all. Sorry. Here, this should help:

One smashed spider extraordinaire, coming up! Don't you just love those bloated little legs, the pimply red dots, and how they moved him after air-brushing the board? Oh, and just to mess with your sense of perspective: that red thing above the eyes is not another unibrow; it's his mouth.

I'll give you a moment to reorient yourself. (My ear hit my shoulder the first time, too.)

Now brace yourself, because next up is the most frightening Spider wreck I have ever seen.

Tell me that doesn't look like a demon-possessed Mr. Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street. Remember Snuffy?

That's truly terrifying, people. What next, a zombie Micky Mouse? Stop messing with my childhood icons!

Now, I'm told these cookie decorations are supposed to look like spiders on their webs:

But I'm pretty sure they're squashed ants on target boards. C'mon, four legs? How lazy are these decorators getting?

Of course, some err in the other direction:

That's 10 legs on the guy on the right. I'm also wondering if these spider puff balls are solid icing, 'cuz if they are then I couldn't think of a more appropriate inscription. Yeesh.

Thanks Caycee H., Shawn A., Kayla B., and Vanessa C.!

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Reader Comments (129)

As a Dr. Who fan, you should recognize that Cake #2 is CLEARLY an Ood, not a spider. I mean, come on, isn't that obvious?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Doctor_Who_Planet_of_the_Ood.jpg

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKE

oh my goodness. my two year old has much better names for these cakes. the first is a duckie, the next is "fiderman", the others are all octopus or pirates... this makes much more sense than spiders!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdiddlesgirl

Eeeeek is right...

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

the 9th and 10th legs on the last cake are obviously pedipalps

that's what they look like to me, and that would make them actually fairly anatomically correct, that is if they had a cephalothorax and an abdomen instead of just one...

of course you could argue that its a harvestman which appears to only have one body segment and also has 8 legs + 2 pedipalps


oh god I'm arguing about spiders on a cake blog.. mmm im going to be quiet now

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those spiders on those webs aren't bugs. They are cats.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

Many of these photos violate several basic spider principles.

1. Spiders have eight legs (not two, four, six, or ten...and heaven forbid a spider with an odd number of legs).

2. As far as I know, spiders don't have googlie eyes. I'm not sure I could live in a world where the potential of a spider with googlie eyes chasing me is possible. *shudder*

3. Spiders don't have smiley faces. And they especially don't have SQUIGGLY smiley faces that push the boundaries of physics.

I realize that there is a time and place for spider cakes and spider cupcakes, but is this batch of The Spider Wreck Chronicles the, err, "best" that cake decorators worldwide can offer?

How sad...and UTTERLY AMAZING.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary Lasse

on the first picture you forgot to mention the fact that its missing two legs..
Maybe I'm wrong but since when do spiders have 6 legs?!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay

And the worst thing about picture # 1?!?!?!? ITS A CUPCAKE CAKE WRECK!!!!!!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharisse

Those spiders from yesterday were in fact the ones that were at the store that I was yelled at for trying to take pictures. They are all kinds of day glow horror now, and most only have 4 legs on one side. (if they are there tomorrow morning I am buying one and taking its picture then sending it to you after letting everyone at work scarf it down.)These people are "professionals"? Bacon who is 4 could do a better job on no sleep and blindfolded than these people!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Tantrum

i was laughing so hard when you said this "Tell me that doesn't look like a demon-possessed Mr. Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street. Remember Snuffy?"

haahahaha
:)

Ok I wouldn't have picked out that the red line on the first one (the "squashed ant") is a MOUTH because usually the direction the inscription faces is the direction you supposed to look at the cake from. So, since the text faces towards the camera, I vote it IS a unibrow! If the text faced the the same way as the supposed smile, THEN it would be a smile.

I just worked on spiders in my invertebrate zoology course at uni so I yelled at the screen with all the wrong-legged spiders. My husband threatened no more cake-wrecks if I couldn't behave myself. But I MUST MENTION ticks and mites are also arachnids and also have 8 legs. So these are more like beetles than ticks.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The second picture, with the "Happy Halloween" writing, i've figured out what it is....

It's a Chthulu cake!

The literary world's most unspeakable horror in sugar and chocolate.

Actually, if it actually is a Chthulu cake - it's really pretty awesome. However if it's a spider, then, well, yeah - it's just kinda sad.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMon

i do believe the legs at the front are supposed to be pincers... ridiculously long pincers.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M.

Oh hell.. you made me snort!
A demon possessed Snuffy? I lurve you!!



I love your blog.. and this time.. the Muppet fanatic in me coudln't resist and had to post!

THANK YOU!!

-Laurel

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaurel

At first glance, "Snuffy" looks like Chewbacca to me.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTamera

Well, I like Snuffy a lot better than Barney -- now he's a real Halloween fright year 'round.

November 1, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoared

The cake that you think looks like a demented Snuffy reminded me of the evil possessed warthog-like creature in Hiyao Miyazaki's "Princess Mononoke". It's a great anime film from the true Master of the genre.

November 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlangtry

those extra legs are pedipalps -- short arm-like things the spiders use to help push food into their mouths

November 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "demon-possed Snuffaluffagus or whatever cake is actually Cthulhu!!! And while looking through the other comments, I found somebody else found this!!! Amazing. Now I need to learn to speak Cthuvian.

November 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermoose

langtry: I was just gonna say!

Demon Snuffy = Tatarigami/Demon Boar

http://www.onlineghibli.com/mononoke_hime/char.php" REL="nofollow">Click here, see second from bottom.

Everyone have a look, the resemblance is striking, even if it was accidental!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLimegirl

Oh my word. That "demonic Snuffalupagus" monstrosity looks like the http://www.onlineghibli.com/mononoke_hime/newimages/DemonBoar.jpg" REL="nofollow">cursed boar god in Princess Mononoke.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinuxChik

Aww, c'mon! 8 legs and 2 pedipalps, very accurate from an arachnid point of view...

Shannon

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mother

oh my God...

the first two are adorable.

... I'm serious.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPerry Strange

Your designation of number 2 as Sunfalupagus is generous! I think he looks like Swamp Thing on a bad day!

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I absolutely love your blog! It's so refreshing and humorous! You go girl!!!!

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwistedSerenity

The "demon-possesed Snuffy" looks more like the Boar Demon from Studio Ghibli's Princess Mononoke. Picture here: http://www.onlineghibli.com/mononoke_hime/newimages/DemonBoar.jpg

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i think the decorator of the "eeeeek" cake meant the spiders to have pincers; that's why they have 10, um, appendages.

January 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

Woah! Six legged spiders?
The kind of spider I like! I'll be on this blog every day for the rest of my life xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

I just found this website today, and have been going through it like water in a desert! I love the cakes, and the comments. They're amusing, often bringing smiles, but nothing made me laugh out loud until the possessed Snuffles cake. You were spot on there, Jen.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOrion

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