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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Oct062008

Cake Wrecks the Game Show?

Some cakes are like those ink blot tests you saw in grade school: baffling blobs of color open to interpretation. Well, not exactly; cakes are usually supposed to look like something in particular. Sometimes they taste better, too.

Anyway, since I've gotten a few of these "ink blot" type cakes submitted, I thought it'd be fun to add a little suspense to your daily dose of Wreckage. That's right, boys and girls, now it's time to play...

"Guess That Wreck!"

Everyone ready? Ok, clear your mind of all thoughts. Now, scroll down and tell me what you see:

"What's that? Ah, you see the moon cooking on the grill in a paper bag? [scribbling on notepad] Interesting, veeery interesting... [looking over glasses] And tell me, how IS your relationship with your mother?"

Check back tomorrow for the "answer": I'll post a picture of what the cake was supposed to look like. In the mean time, let's see who can come up with the most outrageous explanation. I may even post the top 3 guesses here, so bring on the funny, folks; fame and fortune await!*

Thanks to Dana W. for inspiring a brand new category! Oh, and Dana? Don't go giving away the answer just yet, k?

*By "fame" I mean a shout-out to your posting name, and "fortune" is used more in the "destiny" sense of the word than the "wealth or riches" sense. So in other words, no, you won't be getting any money*. Unless someone sends it to you, of course. But that someone would not be me. So probably not.

* Or begetting any money, either; 'cuz that'd just be weird. And wrong. But mostly weird.

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Reader Comments (574)

That's the New Orleans Saints' Superdome surrounded by football helmets and their numbers! That's hilariously bad. Eww. I can't imagine eating that thing, and you can't make me.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAzĂșcar

It's obviously a loaf of bread rising from a bread pan owned by some monarch somewhere. On another planet. Where the bread pans can move around on their numerous little round feet.

Yeah, I got nothing.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergmth

Clearly the Superdome has caught fire and all of the players have evacuated. That's why they're standing outside.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMercy's Maid

I think I know what it's supposed to be: Superdome?

However, my better answer is that it is a cake to celebrate the graduation of a geology* student from the French Monarchy who has a penchant for football.

* You can see the decorator's attempt at different kinds of rock formations. Magma in the middle, "dirt" on the bottom, limestone or similar on top. The indentation is meant to be an illustration of plate tectonics (specifically when to plates collide)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErica

What do I see when I view this cake?

In the background, there is a rock. Attached to it, is a sheet of thermophilous cyanobacteria engaging in mass mitosis. Underneath the sheet of cyanobacteria, are a pair of Halucigenia mating.

It's a cake representation of everyday life in Precambrian oceans.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Edwards

I see a fireplace where the poker tip broke off and is resting on some wood.

Or rather, I should say I *saw* that since my eyes later focused on those tiny plastic footballers.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwhereinchicago

Whatever it is it has to be terrifying because those footballs are running for their lives!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

A sad thing.... A football stadium with decapitated football heads posted around it like in the middle ages. A warning to others. I wonder of what crime they were accused?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterloavesandfishes

I used to live in New Orleans, so I'm gonna go with:
A representation of a Voodoo ritualistic slaughter/grilling of the rival team's QB's leg to keep them from beating the Saints.

Haha! Get it? it's a QB-B-B-Q!

Oh, and naw, the Superdome actually looks like a giant boob. Really.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUnder the Radar

Umm, it's a burned hotdog (bottom wreck) waiting to be placed in a grilled bun (middle wreck), to be eaten at the full moon (top wreck.) It's meant to be eaten at a tailgating party; hence the little football helmets. The fleur de lis was just the signature of the decorator. Yeah, that's the ticket!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbikerchick

At first I thought they were little bugs around the cake then I realized they were helmets and was going to guess the Superdome. But it can also be a pot of chili, a fondue pot, or a hotdog with ketchup, mustard and a fleur de lis in the middle. Or maby the old time, stove top jiffy pop popcorn.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLissete

I think it is a cake representing an infected wound surrounded by olives and toped by a fleur-de-lis tattoo.

or

something to do with football.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPamplemousse

Snail racing!?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLittleDunMare

Looks like a coffin to me...

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTze

I'm guessing that it's a bad (rotten) egg dressed in a belted, tie-dyed, tube top with a brown skirt that has a nice football helmet fringe.

But really it must be a New Orleans Saints cake of some sort.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermoonshine

the superdome!
it looks more like a cross-section of a very bad hamburger though!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjen

First thought - it looks like a bed. The bed of a couple who tried (and failed) to find a compromise between French sophistication and a childish obsession with football.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkate

It's a symbol of the oppression of All-American Food, represented here by a slab of grilled ribs supported by a football team, by European Haute Cuisine, represented by the broiled salmon filet with red wine and mustard sauce garnished with a fleur-de-lys of toasted nori.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMinyassa

It's a (very, very poor) Superdome, where the Saints of football play.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermike.

My 5 year old says it is a "bear's paw with a soldier's hat on it"...
We are not french so I don't know how he came up with the fleur de lis being a symbol of any military...and I'm slightly concerned about how he thinks the soldier's hat would get on the bear's paw... in his imagination was this some horrible mountain training expedition gone wrong?(as would explain the streaking red)...maybe "When Animals Attack" isn't an appropriate show for a 5 year old who can't fall asleep to watch...
;-)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteraka Laura

Why, it's one of those expensive limoges jewelry boxes with a delicate clasp closure! And, I believe, a beaded necklace around the base.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

In honor of banned books week, it is a book being burned on a charcoal grill. Each little numbered charcoal briquette below represents another book that was banned.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Oh, absolutely fabulous! I was a little confused at first, thinking it might be the superdome, but how silly of me...CLEARLY, this is that new French version of surf 'n' turf: a nicely-grilled sirloin topped with a lightly seared tuna steak. And to finish it off, a rich, creamy half-wheel of fully mature camembert.

My only question is: why make a cake of it, when the real thing is already so fabulously delicious?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

To me this looks like a torso, you have the brown bottoms, maybe the starting of a skirt or pants, the orange tank looking top with a brooch and the silver could be a very pale upper chest area

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Being a Canadian and not a sports fan, I have to confess I have no idea what the NOLA Superdome looks like. I can buy the dome idea (the silver thing?) but ... why is it orange? And why does it have a bend in it? I see an ugly couch, in front of a rock, with coffee beans scattered evenly around the edges. And I have no explanation for the brown thing ... if it *is* the superdome, what is the brown thing? The football field? Why is it outside the arena then?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it's a couch. Those little round things around it look like roaches, though, so it's a very unsanitary couch?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjocante

Is it an ugly striped couch with a really really really dirty ottoman?
-Rebecca B

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It is a a piece of salmon branded with a fleur de lis in the cake as other food category. It is sitting on what was a cedar plank but has burnt. Some half squished bugs are sitting around the base, having broken the protective perimeter of the mosquito netting on top of the grill.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKMDuff

It's definitly supposed to be the Superdome, but it looks like it was split open to reveal the barbeque from hell.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersleepsong

It's an old fashioned clothes wringer that can't quite get past that huge fleur de lis. Luckily there are body-less football helmets waiting to jump in and help.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

marching band, gotta be marching band!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJKH

I see a flattened piece of shrimp nigiri being devoured by little bugs, which for some unknown reason, an entomologist has numbered.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Join us this week as the Central High Saints grill the North Side Steelhead in this year's not-to-be-missed homecoming football match-up!"

Fabulous site and excellent new game!

www.crowguys.blogspot.com

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenny H.

It appears that some Hostess Tigertails, one of which seems to have been badly burned in a fire, have smushed several cockroaches wearing football helmets. A tragedy indeed.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternoisy penguin

Oh sure, I've seen this very cake in nature.

It's a cross section of a lighly grilled scallop. Then being carried away a group of hungry beetles.

Pretty common at family bbqs at the seashore. Seen it a dozen times.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

It's a royal couch with royal roaches crawling out from beneath it.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobin Bayne

Oscar the Grouch put a tie-dyed cozy around his garbage can before closing up for the night, which happened to be during the super bowl playoffs which as you can see by his decorations!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

My guess is a camp fire that a boy scout has fallen into and all that is left of him is his badge.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

If it IS the Superdome... check out http://www.stellarcakeco.com/gallery.html - the way a SuperDome cake is supposed to be done. (I ggogled it to see if I could find a photo of the SuperDome and that came up!!) The cakes on that site are pretty amazing, but talent doesn't account for people's taste- the "Beer Coozie" cake for the "Beer Princess" - http://www.stellarcakeco.com/BeerPrincessFinal2SM.jpg

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChel

It looks an awful lot like a graveyard for football helmets.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

The first few comments I read said it was the Superdome, so I looked at some images online. I guess it does kind of look like the Superdome... If a group of body-less football-helmet-wearing-giants bisected it, flipped on its side, painted its top gray and put red & orange graffiti all over it...

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

Totally the Superdome. A really really bad representation of the Superdome, but still.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterToiling Ant

Yo ho, mateys! Me thinks 'tis a treasure chest belongin' to the kings and queens of France! Argh!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlli

An electric fire (like this http://www.amazon.co.uk/Winterwarm-T3-1-6KW-electric-fire/dp/B0001A97DU) with a fleur de lys on top.

Hilary.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A bed with a brown headboard and bed bugs. And ugly bedspread.-zazo

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's the Prince of Wales' Royal Bingo machine, hence the fleur de lys. It looks like a knitted crown but all those little things with numbers are obviously iced olives representing bingo counters that are pulled at random. The Queen of England shouts the numbers out as she draws them- two fat ladies, 88- that sort of thing.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersimsample

It is the top of a grey (and French!!) BINGO DOBBBER!!

Ok it is some kind of funeral pyre for a french football hero... the grey at the top is him rising from the ashes as "LE SUPER FRANCAIS FUTBOLL HERO!!!"

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBanana

I believe that this is meant to be an ugly couch, with an evil court jester sitting on it, watching football on TV and laughing at the confused people wondering where the football team has gone, as he has kidnapped them and stuffed them under his ugly couch.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElsie

I actually thought it was a sofa... one with a fleirdeleis on it...

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChuuie

Looks like a rock sleeping in a truncated version of Louis XIV's bed crushing a football team

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterturbidity

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