My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Fall Fumbles

(Once again you guys are outdoing yourselves with the Wrecky holiday submissions. So, prepare for some marathon Thanksgiving posts from now 'til T-day!)

It's a football! It's a turkey! It's a...a...stitched up frankencake with pom-poms! And hey, who needs decorating skills when you can just dump the dollar store's clearance bin in with the cake, right, Carol G.?

Apparently Dudley Do Right wishes us all a happy Thanksgiving. Jacquelyn G., do you suppose the decorator actually used shrimp for those ears, or just made it look that way?

"Pumpkins", Lynz B.? You sure those aren't supposed to be melons? (Bah dum bump!)

Kathryn M found this guy. He's supposed to be a scarecrow, so, you know, props to the decorator for really nailing the "scare" part. I know I'm frightened. I mean, it looks like a wookie in a clown suit. A wookie who shaved his face and then used too much self-tanner, I mean.

Of course, scarecrows are pretty complicated to make. So how about a nice candy-corn shaped cookie? Nothing easier than that, right?

Oh come on! Are you kidding me?!?

Never mind, Mary D., just...just never mind.

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Reader Comments (123)

Poor Dudley Do Right looks like he's got a bad case of mumps. Or a few boils. Or several tumors coming out of his chin. He really should get that looked at. It looks painful.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWalking With Scissors

Pumpkins as melons = amusing
Footurkey (close cousin to tofurky) = ramped up humor
Candy corn (o.0) cookie = EPIC fial.

*laughs until tears squirt out*

"oumary" -- Yep, that's what *SHE* said.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTexPatriate

ROFL at the candy corn...

and I am not trying to be mean here...



We can click on your name if we want to go to your website. It makes you look desperate when you need to also put your blog address in the comments EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"looks like a wookie in a clown suit"....THAT DID ME IN!!!! And it's very quiet today in the office since everyone is out for vacation...trying to smother my laughter was an even greater failure than usual.

The 'candy corn'...oh dear...that's just sad....and pretty freakin' funny.

Thanks for making my Monday so much better!

~Bonnie B~

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the scarecrow looks like the cowardly lion and the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz had a freaky love child.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate R

Why does that first guy have a belt buckle on his head?

I guess he's supposed to be a pilgrim, but he looks more like a leprechaun to me...

and the scarecrow does look like a crime victim!

Awesome wreckiness

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

If the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion had a lovechild ...

Nevermind, I don't want to see a cake decorator's interpretation of the act.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Pearce

My 4 year old is reading over my shoulder with running commentary. When we got to the cake with two "pumpkins" on it she said, "Oooo, mom, it's a scary moneter eyes."

And then at the candy corn cookie she said, "Oooo, mom, it's a triangle orange pizza with whipped cream on it."

Wookie in a clown costume and Franken turkey. I love your blog!!!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMy Ice Cream Diary

That second one looks like Super Mario as a pilgrim. And the scarecrow is SCARY.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

>>It kinda looks like the decorator of the candy corn cookie is trying to send some message to her AA friends... ;)-<<

That's what I was thinkin'. No matter
how many cookies you wreck for the
holidays, you don't have to take a
drink. ; )

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it's because I am being dense, or maybe it's cos I'm English but whats the last one as I have no idea what candy corn is.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

And why is there a random Special Dark bar hanging out under the turkey-football?

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I don't hate the turkey/football cake except the dollar store crap thrown on it. As a football fan, I kind of dig it otherwise.

Wookie in a clown suit is CLASSIC... it's going to be one of those things that will pop into my head from time to time.

word verification: proptlom
And no, I don't have a point to that

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterToni Marie

The football turkey looks like he just got done with an autopsy!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs Ashley

I'm surprised you didn't comment on how the scarecrow and the dudley-do-right cakes were Cupcake cakes. However i must confess, i find the scarecrow adorable.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Wow, that's not candy corn, that's the Deathly Hallows.

Nerd comment, thank you very much...

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBill

that candy corn one looks like a really pathetic takeoff on the cover art of "Dark Side of the Moon".

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkayla

The colors aren't even the right way on the candy corn, white goes on the top, then orange, then yellow!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Okay, so that last one is ridiculous. How sad and pathetic that the decorator couldn't even be bothered to cut out a triangle. Definitely not worth the $7/hr. they 're probably getting paid.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerraD

Hey Laura," REL="nofollow">this is candy corn. Named for the shape, not the flavor - it's just a slightly squishy sugar candy.

For the record, that one was the funniest thing I've seen all month!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRisha

First thought: Is that a football with pilgrims on it? I then considered the post-caesarian turkey interpretation, but couldn't quite make the lumps into wings or drumsticks. Either way, what are the little figures? Football players?

And then whatever the tool that is used to make the .. squiggles on the Wookie needs to be taken away from that decorator.

I like your reader's "can a four-year-old tell what it is" test for decorated cakes.

Keep 'em coming.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Even my 3 year looked at the first picture and happily declaired, "It's a football cake!" Incidentally, I saw nearly the same one at the store today and wished I'd brought my camera! Thankfully there are plenty of these to go around.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

Ok now heaven forbid you make the cooking into a triangle shape but the minimunm you could do is get it isn the right color or hey even better just fromst the triangle portion
How lazy are these people

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervv

The colours on the "candy corn" are actually pretty impressive. Even the blending! It's almost like they HAD a Candy Corn to model from and then... oh, I don't know... ate it?

Where I come from, basic shapes are covered in pre-school. It shouldn't have been too hard to pull this one from the fires of wreck-dom

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterharmzie

Dear Laura from England---candy corn is featured in the colored triangular pieces making the turkey feather "fan" in the turkey cupcakes in the post from the day before. Candy corn is big here in the USA at Halloween.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

My hysterectomy scar looks better than whatever happened to that turfootball.

My first thought when I saw Shrimp Ears was, "What does a leprechaun have to do with Thanksgiving?"

The scarecrow's suit looks like something from the mid-1970s, when polyester was king.

And the cookie ... No. Just no.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Holy MOTHER! How many cupcakes do you think are involved in that giant Scarecrow????? I can't look away from its huge legs. It's GIANT! How many people are you trying to feed with that monster??

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

looks like the scarecrow and cowardly lion had a love child...


November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterclkight

Poor turkey must've had a recent c-section...


November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

The Dudley Do Right looks like he's got the mumps. I wouldn't eat that one for fear of getting them as well.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHope

that last cake (cookie?) reminds me of a 'dark side of the moon' album cover art reject.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermere9

That second one looks like the Lucky Charms guy! haha! And that cookie... wow. words fail me.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAbby*Lane

At first glance, the turkey football does indeed look like it had an emergency Caesarian section, but after careful study I'm pretty sure it's gastric bypass surgery. I mean, look at that waistline!

Alixandra Hice
(desperation free and with no apologies to Anonymous at 11:45)

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

The more I see of this stuff the more I wonder:

are people actually BUYING these cakes/cookies/etc? I mean, I know you'd probably have to buy one just to take the picture to send in, but presumably the stores are paying people to produce this ... stuff; and there are other people who are paying good money to BUY these wrecks!!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

I usually just read your blog and barely comment... but OMG! That candy corn is just sad! In all its simplicity is the saddest thing ever!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAle

Ok, that scarecrow has got some really unfortunate hips. And the candy corn cookie? Looks more like a Pink Floyd logo.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Anon @ 11:45 - THANK YOU!!!!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTeacher of the Year

Okay ... I am pretty much 100% convinced that Dudley is a CCC ... right?

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's with the scarecrow's massive thighs? I mean, it's a CCC. It's not like he needs to stand up on them!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

wow..those cakes are sad..yet amusing...awesome blog

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterminerva1822

That's supposed to be a candy corn cookie? You know, you'd think that by now these professionals would have at least heard of cookie cutters.

See you in a bit. I going into the other room to cry.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUnicorn Girl

ok Ummm I didnt get the entire candy corn thing until i tilted my head and thought long and hard about it.

I had then read the caption and look at it again. OMG I then laughed loud enough to make my boss come and look at my computer screen she is in her office reading the entire blog.

Ty cakewrecks

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersweettc

Deconstructed Candy Corn.

Dig it.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterquinn

The 'candy corn cookie' had me rolling on the floor. How FREAKING HARD could it be to at least cut the friggin' thing?!

I find myself curious: do the turkey-football's legs come off? Do you get a drumstick of sugar-coated goodness? Or are they solid icing?

Much to my chagrin, I've learned that my phone refuses to send pictures to my email. This sucks, as I am thus unable to send you some truly atrocious creations that I've seen on display at my job's bakery.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJetpackAngel

I don't know what I liked more, the fact that the "turkey" appeared to have gold "wingcuffs" or that it pooped out a wrapped Hershey's Dark Chocolate Miniature bar!

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril M

First thought was that the turkey cake was actually recovering from a cesarean delivery...of what I don't know, nor do I WANT to know.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFeisty Irish Wench

The candy corn wins.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBailey's Leaf

Wow... that candy corn cookie is CRAPTACULAR! (points for alliteration!)

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDr. E.

Wow... the one is supposed to be a Pilgrim, right? I thought that it was a leprechaun at first--thinking "how do you screw up St Patrick's Day and Thanksgiving??"

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSerena

The candy-corn cookie is mine and YES I bought it. Here's why -- it was more than half off. I love those cookies but usually am too cheap to buy one. How could I pass up this Wreck for less than a dollar?

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary D

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