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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov052008

Oh, Mama!

Who's ready for some life-sized, potentially-nightmare-inducing, definitely traumatizing, yet fortuitously-censored CAKE? Hmm?

Settle down, now, all of you; there's enough here for everyone:

(Heh, you guys thought the FIRST censored Cake Wreck was bad...)

What's that? What do you mean, you all only want a piece of the little birthday cake? You can't ALL have that: who's going to eat the legs? The belly? The.. er...tracts of land? C'mon, you'll love it: mama's made of red velvet!*

:)

Here's an even "better" angle:


John would like me to point out that this cake has teeth. And there are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.

Here's some good news, though: this wasn't for a baby shower! Yay! Nope, it was served at a birthing center event. As to why the "mom" has a cake in the tub with her, though - and in that particular spot - well, you got me. I'm just glad they didn't make it into an edible baby.
Also, I've heard of cakes sweating before, but this brings it to a while 'nother level. A really shiny, gross level.

I actually had this submitted twice, by both Gina & Jeanette E. Hey girls, I'm dying to know: did "mama" have any hair? I can't quite tell from the photos. (I mean on her HEAD, you sick people, you.)

* Ok, you got me: I don't actually know what kind of cake this was.

UPDATE: I too thought that they just left the "s" off "surprise" at first, but then it would have been "urprise", not "uprise". Unless they spelled it wrong, and THEN left the "s" off - hah, double wreck! Or, I suppose it could be the name of the center.

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Reader Comments (292)

a woman i talked to had guests and made bread @ her homebirth - slacker. a cake would have been so much more of a crowd pleaser. i mean, if you're already @ a homebirth, you might as well eat some cake. maybe the sugar takes the edge off (hence the cake in the tub)...i guess @ that point, you wouldn't care if there was a rump roast in the tub with you - you just want the baby OUT.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteranna bling

No one can have a piece of that cake until the CSIs have cleared the scene...

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Godin

Ooooooohhhhh, gross! Oh that is nasty. Nasty nasty nasty. Plus the fact that she looks like a man! Aaaack!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

i really wish i wasn't pregnant, and having to see this.

of course, even if i weren't pregnant, i would wish i hadn't seen this.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimmy

This is one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen in my life. I'm with cottagecheap: cakewrecks diet! Because I have no appetite anymore.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJill Elizabeth

It's all been said. DISGUSTING!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

Ewwww!

The top of her head is completely gone... I guess now Sylar has the ability to make hideous cakes.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I have a blog that is all about beautiful cakes and wow do I come across some truly horrible cakes..I thought about doing a blog about the butt ugly cakes that burn my eyes on a daily basis but it seems to me that you got it covered. Thank for spreading the butt ugly cake message. Just remember once a cake is in your mouth they all taste the same...er...sometimes...sometimes they taste like crap if my mother's cakes are any indicator.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mistress of Cakes

Where is the top of her head?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wrong and gross on sooooo many levels. You really have to have a set of brass ones to serve up a wreck like this! My stomach did a slow roll after viewing this wreck. So sad.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

It could be worse: imagine the bakers making a cake for the proctology or gynecological center. Ew, nevermind.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMyCatsRule

I'm confused about the black bar over her breasts...Why didn't they just give her a sports bra or something? I mean Cakewrecks didn't put that bar there, right?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

disgusting. the she looks like a corpse, especially in the face - and why does she only have half of a head? it looks like they just gave up when they got to the towel.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Oh my god, this is utterly nauseating. It looks like a body in a shallow roasting pan.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ew. That is all I can think of right now. It's too creepy.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthenewsarahsundae

WHY? Why do they do this? When did this seem like a good idea at all?

Wow. I want to puke.
I need some of that "special" pufferfish cake. Those things are adorable.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Sunshine

I don't see the big deal.

I think its beautiful!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShellie

Y'know, I just went to Body Worlds 3 a few weeks ago, and it was fascinating and not at all sickening.
This, on the other hand, is vomit-inducing.
So, if you carve into her belly, is that a C-section? Is there one of those edible baby cakes inside?
And red velvet cake is disgusting anyway, in this case it would be close to illegal.
Was this cake decorator a relative of Jeffrey Dahmer?

Of course, this cake would have its uses. Rather than at a birthing center, where it might cause trauma in a mother-to-be and negatively affect a fetus, this creation should never be eaten, but should be laquered over and carted to every teen pregancy prevention lecture given to young girls in the state where it was made. I cannot imagine a more effective birth-control device than this.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

Wow. Just wow. I think this definitely deserves to be part of the "Best of Cakewrecks" collection. Wow.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDL

Is it just me, or does "mama" have the jawline of Julia Roberts?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

thx beth for the back story...but does that mean this was the *winning* cake???
also, i thought water births (at a birthing *center* were done in bigger and deeper tubs - so the midwife/delivery assistant could help and so the baby doesn't just torpedo its soft head into the bottom.

rrr: yes, i thought of skeletor as well.

yuck

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is highly disturbing to me, and I have a pregnancy fetish.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

*shiver*
Yuck!
*gagging*
Whew...that is disgusting!!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn V.

I'd like to clear up one thing first off - the cake was not red velvet, it was actually chocolate and it was quite tasty. This cake was for a birth center fundraiser function that was also a cake competition. The birth center does many water births and this cake was FUNNY and FANTASTIC. It actually won the competition for both design and all-around best cake, voted on by all the guests of the gala. Lighten up and open your minds, it's just a cake with a fun concept for a birth center!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

**shudder** That is just plain disturbing.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKahla

Ok, I showed this to a friend who is a birthing center nurse. She asked a question that would really just make this cake. "Was there a red gelatin placenta inside that thing?"

You may all go vomit now.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ya'll are never going to believe what UPRISE is referring to. I *think* it's an acronym for Uterine Prolapse Research, Information, Support & Education. Uterine Prolapse is when the uterus descends into the vagina. A serious condition indeed -- I'm a mom to 2 little kids and preggers; I am NOT about to make light of U.P. -- but how inappropriate is it to have a CAKE about it?

Check this site for more info: http://groups.msn.com/ChoiceforProlapse/_homepage.msnw?pgmarket=en-au

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily MG

okay my stab at the Uprise thing...(pun intended :-))

I'm venturing a guess that it is a woman's empowerment statement. Sort of rise up to the occassion, push yourself to the limit, forget the epidurals, and all that stuff and push that watermelon er baby out.

The cake is awful... who in their right mind would want to eat a cake of a woman in labor, in a hot tub, looking like death warmed over and naked to boot? Ugggh

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLorias

OMG!...
definitely a wreckage...
i felt like... yukh! i cant even describe it...

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAfaque

Ewwwwwwwwwww.....

Cake Wrecks is very unlikely to top this one for sheer grossness.

Ever.

I did, however, have the same thought I did back when I first saw the baby cakes...wonder if there's a red jelly filling just under the top layer?

Really would be the perfect touch, dontcha think?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWalk On

I too, find it rather sick that the tub woman is obviously missing her brain, like some grotesque ancephalic child. Really gives me the willies more than anything else about this cake.

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn

http://www.columbiahl.com/calendar.php

I have decided this is what it's about. A birth center was having a gala. They had a contest for the best "birth-day" cake, and the Uprise bakery was one of the entrants.

I am a midwife. I own a birth center. That cake freaked me out, especially the teeth and the 'washcloth' on her forehead. Too. Much. Realism. but at least it wasn't an edible baby.

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLizard

I searched uprise birth and this is what came up...could be connected?? I def could be way off here!!

Columbia Community Birth Center's First Annual Cake and Champagne Gala.
Perlow-Stevens Gallery, 812 East Broadway, 7 pm.
Seven local bakeries, including

The Upper Crust and Uprise Bakery, will be competing for the best "Birth-Day" cake. Come eat cake, drink champagne, and enjoy music by the Bel Airs while supporting Missouri's only freestanding birth center. Tickets are $30. Purchase at participating bakeries or call XXX-XXXX

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramie979

That looks like one of the bodies in the cadaver lab at school, missing the top of its head and all.

Are you supposed to stand at the back and name all 12 nerves coming off the brain?

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A little extra googling finds the very attractive announcement for the event:
http://www.birthcolumbia.org/News.html
The bakery doesn't appear to have a website.
-The Librarian

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Once I stopped thinking WTF,
I too thought of the "Death of Marat"... I mean, the positioning is similar, bathtub, mannish... uh wow.

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think this just goes to show that just because you can doesn't mean you should.


That is just nasty.

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercupcakefan

UGH....seriously, where DO people get these ideas from???

otherwise, LOVE this blog!! keep up the fab work!

NDL :o)

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Must be water birth, dont know what to say about that cake, looks like a fat belly man.

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Hatter

My favorite part is the "day" on the side of the cake. I know they meant it but it still cracks me up! =)

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I have had 24 hours for this image to "soak" in! And all I have to say is GROSS! This is by far one of the most disgusting cakes that I have ever seen. Had to de-lurk myself for this one...

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterindianasme

If this is the winner, I wanna know what the losing cakes looked like. I can't imagine anything being worse than this! Unless there was a cake re-creation of a newborn baby covered in placenta & fluids. That would be nastier...

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

A little late for Halloween, no?

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

The most vile thing I've ever seen!

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteradozeneggs

Throwing up in my mouth!!

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

She's a man, baby!

I think maybe it has a bandana over its hair to keep the sweat from dripping in its eyes.

I can't assign it a pronoun because I don't know what to call a man who's giving birth in a tub of water with a cake between his legs. The whole situation begs for a new pronoun.

Once again, you have made me laugh!

(meshealle.blogspot.com)

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermeshealle

Um, that makes me want to never eat cake AGAIN.

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSassy

That has got to be the most frightening thing - ever. (She says, girding her loins against giving birth. Furbabies all the way!)

Felicia

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFelicia

Oh....my...

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScarlettO

Also, the little cake has "Happy Birth" on the top and "Day" on the side.

The whole thing screams WTF????

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter5elementknitr

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