My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Believe it or not, this cake is supposed to look like this:

Well, sort of, anyway.

That deer is staring straight into my soul, and it's totally creeping me out. The smoke column on the side is kind of odd, too, although I like the idea of using sprinkles for ash.

And what could be better than a cake with a demonic deer staring out from the fiery depths? How about one that was sold in California when all the wild fires were raging? Yep. Niiice.

Or, to Wreck it up further, you could always have a dial-a-wreck inscription on it:

That's supposed to say, "Happy Birthday you old bastard". So obviously the wonky heart was the decorator's idea. "Let's see, demonic deer, unintelligible greeting, still needs something...."

Oh, wait, that smoke column was supposed to be a tree? Huh. Well, I guess if all the leaves were burned off...

Jenna Z. and Rya M., these cakes are smokin'.

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Reader Comments (162)

the deer are definitely smiling. a really creepy come and shoot me if you can you old pastard kind of smile.

seriously... i think that these cakes were 'stock' fall/hunting cakes that the store bakery was supposed to have on hand (obviously one decorator was a bit more talented than the other) and that the hideous blue scrawling on the 2nd cake was an add on buy the purchaser and/or the non-skilled bakery employee that sold the cake. or at least that what i tell myself to make this okay...

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

These are great! My husband is a hunter. He'll really get a kick out of this one when he gets home from work!

Thanks! =)

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. B

What in the heck is a "Pastard"?

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermomofonefornow

LOL, it's not fire! It's tall yellow fall prarie grass... like during hunting season? With a fall tree on the side.

But eating a deer head on a cake is always.... difficult.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMama-Beans

This is one of the strangest cake concepts I've ever seen.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHi Kooky

Maybe I'm alone in that I don't think the decoration part of either one is that bad. The dried grass looks better in the second one, as do the deer and the tree.

Those words though. Dear God in Heaven! I need to poke my eyes out after seeing that.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSmoochiefrog

You know that shot in "The Queen" where Helen Mirren sees the deer? Yup. BAMBI, meets the QUEEN in the raging fires of California.

Cake #2 - It never ceases to amaze me how people cannot grasp the concept of Your vs. You're.

Love the "pastard" though.


November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

Deer are so cute. I thought they were flames. Maybe it was meant for wildlife to purchase for their deceased friends memory? That was shot down by the next cake "Happy Birthday your old postcard". I'm happy it wasn't fire afterall. Poor Bambi.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJim and Garret

I personally enjoy the fact that the leaves on the first "tree" are sprinkles-and star-shaped ones at that...not even leaf-shaped ones.
I don't know what to make of the second one's inscription. Perhaps the cake is from an old friend named Pastard...Happy Birthday, (from) your old (friend) Pastard. But not all those words would fit so they had to pick their favorite ones?
ps-I definitely saw the "FU" on the first one too.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermargaret

Glad to know I'm not the only one who read it as "Happy birthday, your old postcard!"
Well, it makes about as much sense as a LOT of what we see here...

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These make me :(

They seem to glorify the random burning of demonic, smiling wildlife. Not to mention blossoming pillars of smoke that rain rainbow sprinkles.

I also prefer the second cake when I thought it said "Happy birthday your old postcard". That took me to a happy place :)

--Brianna over at PassionFruit!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

The poor Deer. Commercial for "Only YOU Can Prevent A Deer From Going To Hell"??

And then I thought, who would call someone an "Old Postcard" then turning my head sideways.."Pastard? Oh! Bastard." Yeah..okay. Sure. (Shakes head)

~Amy B.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I love the design of this cake

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbusby seo test

I actually had to do a "deer hunting" cake for a 6 year old once. I went to Walmart to see if I could just buy something to go on the cake, and that was the cake they showed me....that deer is actually a magnet. Crazy....
Needless to say, I am not a fan of hunting cakes.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I'm picking up my son's birthday cake tomorrow morning and secretly hoping for something really awful.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercw

What I want to know is, why is the sky green/yellow in both of these cakes? Don't tell me the green skyline is supposed to represent tree canopies, because if thats the case then these are the worst/laziest air-brushed "forests" I have ever seen. Plus, forests + prairie grass aren't usually found together, from what I understand.

Also, why make the "grass" yellow? I understand the autumn thing, but still. If they had simply made the grass green (or even brown/tan if you want the dead-grass look) then they would probably had avoided the whole "deer burning alive in massive fire" image altogether.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

I thought it said, "Happy Birthday, your old Pastor."

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpepperjackcandy

Oh my! That's horribly wrong. It really makes you wonder what these people were thinking! oh right, they weren't.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

i thought that the deer must be plastic as well, seeing as how they are so well done, comparatively. but they look different from each other, meaning that both of these decorators somehow did the hardest part of the cake really well and the rest...not so much.
and the grass in the second one does look a lot more like grass, except where it is by the tree, and looks like perfectly formed tongues of fire. totally strange

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramy :)

OMG it's Bambi in Hell!

It looks like he just decided to pop up in the middle of Dante's Inferno. Clearly Babmi has some major sins to atone for that none of us ever knew about.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria least the deer on the 2nd cake looks more friendly.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

At least the colors are pretty!

I think so anyway.

uh oh.

I think too much halloween candy may have impaired my judgment.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBanana

Oh my...I just googled Deer Cake and can't believe what I came up with. The share number of bodyless deers.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's not just "You old Postcard" that's "YOUR". I can't be the only one who sees the r on the end of it. It's killing me.

The deer are so well done. I'm so confused.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

Oh for the love of....Now I know what happened to Bambi's dad!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

Postcard! Now I know what to get for my deerhunting mailman boyfriend who was never allowed to watch "Bambi" growing up.

Not sure about that saguaro, though...

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfunnycide

I am deeply sorry that some of your readers have absolutely no grasp of sarcasm, irony or hyperbole, and therefore make comments that doubt your intelligence. Most of us understand your brilliance and wit. Please do not ever be tempted to dumb down your hilarious commentary to appeal to the masses. Thank You.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlois

I'm w/ Robyn. The "r" is just retching. It's not a confusion b/t "your" and "you're" here.
I also saw "postcard" at first and wondered if it was another phone order, "...and the deer, like in the old postcard..." until I scrolled down and read it was supposed to be "you" and "bastard."

I must remember to stroll through the grocery bakery more often w/ a camera! ;)


November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hate to say it, but my stepdad would love a deer cake, even if it is really a wreck.

He used to be quite the outdoorsman in his youth.

I probably would not have called him an old bastard though ...

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCaliGirl9

I don't feel the need for a cake that kills Bambi

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMella

I look at the first one and see, "F U" the f from the true and u from the antlers.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbrad

Whose old pastard? Yours, of course. <3


November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My husband who is a firefighter and avid hunter will probably find this pretty darn funny!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAbbi

I'm howling at the comments! So much to see and think about just on these two Wrecks!!

First, like several other Wreck Fans, I too saw "Postcard", then "Pastard" then made the leap to "Bastard" Ya gotta love it.

What creeps me out (also like many Wreck Fans) are the grinning, leering deer. These are DEFINITELY Stephen King deer - come for the hunters who killed them - with the flames of hell ... well never mind. I digress. In some ways the creepy trees (more like dead bean stalks) creep me out more!

As usual I am ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!!!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

I read it "Happy birthday, you old postcard." How quaint.

This reminded me of the horrifying "deer caught in the forest fire" picture I saw a few years back

google it under search images and you'll see it

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

BWAHAHAHAA!!! That deer is freaking me OUT - looks possessed!!!! Of course, who wouldn't when roasting alive?? Oy....who thinks up these deco kits??

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

See, I'm from one of the many parts of the country where deer hunting is, well, the be-all-end-all this time of year. It's the kind of place where the opening day of deer season is actually a school holiday. Yeah, it is. Really.

Anyhow, I knew that was a tree. And the fire isn't fire, it's brush/tall grass that was green in the summer but has since faded to a yellow-ish brown dead color that grass seems to go to.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I don't really understand why anyone would give someone a burning deer cake for their birthday, even if they are a Pastard. But, what would have improved both cakes would be if they added fire to the deer's antlers since he is obviously in the center of the fire.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha, I love the Evil Deer... Sent straight from the Depths of Hell apparently.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs Ashley

"your mother can't be with you anymore." omg, when blossom and the gang told me that i just about flipped. disney had just turned down my contract in 'dumbo', it was supposed to be pink DEER, not elephants in that psychedlic dream sequence and i was just sooo upset about that. losing mom was the last thing i needed. for years after that i rampaged in suburban neighbourhoods, tearing up landscaping and probably inspiring the low-paid bakery workers that woke in the wee dawn hours and saw me as they trudged out their doors to go to their jobs.... um.. faline, ... honey, is that you?????? oops, gotta go, i really have to get out of this rut.. losing my day job has really been the pits... faline???? MOM!!!!!!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had to read through all the comments and study cake #2 before I could believe that cake #1 wasn't supposed to be a recreation of the pivotal scene in Bambi.

It could be worse, though. To emphasize that it's a hunting cake, Bambi's chest could be exploding in a burst of blood and bullets. I wouldn't speculate that such a cake could exist, except that after seeing the cake for te natural birthing centre, I realize there are no boundaries to cake taste.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

They are both horrifying.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The rabid-deer-on-fire is the best wreck ever!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKore

I think everyone's waaaay off with the second cake. Clearly the cake recipient is not only an avid hunter, but also has an excellent relationship with his church. His pastor and good friend recently retired or moved, so the cake was sent to the birthday boy with the inscription:

"Happy Birthday! Your Old Pastor, D."

Please, please let me be right, because the alternative is just too mind boggling, even after reading this blog for several months!

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJRM

The second one looks pretty good to me, other than the "Pastard" part and the handwriting. It is clearly grass and an autumn tree. The first one, though - Wow. I love how the flames/grass climb all the way around the edges of the cake, like the whole thing is about to collapse in a giant fireball.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

It's hunting season; that's why the deer cakes are proliferating.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRB

Lois beat me to the punch, but I would like to reiterate that at least a few of your readers can recognize sarcasm. Oh, Jen, your old Pastard. What will you come up with next?

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey

I thought it said, "Happy birthday your old postcard!"

I thought the "your" was meant to be "you're".

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Scary on all counts!

How does one get "Your old Pastard" from "You Old Bastard???" AMAZING.

And the ONLY thing that keeps the 2nd one from looking like a forest fire (and only after examination) is the way the grass splits around the deer. First one - no such luck.

November 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoody Mac

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