My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


I must admit, I've been dreaming of the day when I could name a Cake Wreck "Cake Rex" for a looong time now. Heck, we're talking prime potential-mascot material here, folks! So will today be the day? Will it?

Well, let's see:

Uh, this looks like someone was going for a dinosaur-skin rug, but forgot to skin the dino first. He's kind of straddling the lines between alligator, lizard, and dinosaur, too. And what's going on with the back end?

Yikes! Are we sure there's actually a cupcake in there, Ian T.?

Next there's Jacqueline S.'s Nessie:

Actually, since there's two of them, maybe it should be Nestor & Nessie. Looove the shoestring necks and Nessie's pig snout, but those candles are just cruel. Not sure I want to get into the debate over whether the Loch Ness Monster is a dinosaur, either. Next!

Hey, look: someone decorated a block of floral foam with an "after-the-meteor-hit" vignette! The petrified dinosaur skeletons and the still-burning remains of the local vegetation are spot-on. We may not know the occasion, Gwen F., but at least Greg - whoever he is - is being greeted really enthusiastically. (Which is kind of ironic, given the whole death-and-destruction theme.)

So anyway, those are the remains of dinosaurs - do we have any with their skin still on?

What the heck... is that someone's small intestine draped over the side?!? And how much of that is actually cake, Shani H.? It looks like solid plastic.

Um, I don't think this is worthy of being called Cake Rex, either, but get a load of the itty bitty dino-arms sticking out next to the head. Kinda reminds me of my all-time favorite Dinosaur clip:

I've watched that about 8 times in a row now, and that arm-waving action still cracks me up.

Well, that concludes today's search for the ultimate Cake Rex. I'll just keep looking, then, shall I?

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Reader Comments (105)

That's my favorite clip too- I say it all the time hehe.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChedder Fish

I saw the T-rex-with-intestine-cake at a local grocery store tonight. Apparently, that's not intestine - it's lava, flowing from a volcano. I don't remember lava looking like intestines, but, hey, I learn something new every day :-D

February 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarlamagne

We carry the intestine-Rex cake at our bakery. It's one of our displays. I think every store in the chain has the rex-cake as a default display.

Ours looks exactly the same. This is how it's supposed to look. And it doesn't matter which store you go to, the Rex display--along with the rest of the displays for this particular chain--is never made by any of the decorators in the department. Our displays are mailed to us in boxes. Not only is this exactly how it should look, this is exactly what the company wants the customer to see.

The Rex, BTW, has a battery powered motion-sensor, and the actual plastic is about three inches by four inches. The rest of it is cake and frosting. They just switched the batteries out on our display. It jumps out at every fly/customer/dust laden breeze that goes past. It also has sound.

I think I'm going to kill it.

For the record, our display cakes scare me. I've worked here for a year. Not only are the cakes never changed, EVER, but today one of our decorators got bored and decided to touch the displays up with the airbrush. Because, you know, the frosting looked kinda faded. And dusty. And not very appatizing. Now they look very bright and very clean, and they're still the same damn cakes.

However, I don't think we can switch the displays out, or add to them. Two months ago they shipped us a new display cake. Somebody screwed up the icing getting it out. Nobody fixed it. It just went out with smushed icing. Our manager has better standards than that, and so does our lead decorator. They wouldn't put it out smushed if we were allowed to fix it ourselves. The only thing I can think of is that the displays are some kind of special non-food...stuff that fits in with health code. I have never asked. I'm not one of the decorators (thank. God.) and after the fourth month of seeing the same faded cakes on the stand, I decided I didn't want to know.

April 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AHHH!!! Nessie DOES have a pig snout... but it appears that it's not connected to a head. Maybe some sick, Jack the Ripper decided to cut off her head and neck, tying the snout to torso with a piece of pink hemp.

And while we're talking about hemp, I've never seen a hollow, green, dinosaur that can poop GREEN wiry hemp in the same shape as itself.

Word Verification: Destie. A cross between despicable and plea: aka, it's so despicable that you plea for it to PLEASE PLEASE GO AWAY.

This reminds me the cake I had on my 6th birthday. My birthday is around Christmas time so it's only natural that the cake maintain a Christmas theme by featuring the appropriate colors (green and red... which I have always thought look rather blah together... that and red and pink) along with a Santa figurine. This was no ordinary cake however... due to my curiosity/obsession with dinosaurs at the time, I INSISTED that dinosaurs be present atop the cake as well, along with a volcano and palm trees. Let me tell you, that cake was the bomb diggity. That is the only cake I really remember from any of my past birthdays. If I find a picture I will send it in. It's a keeper. Keep in mind, this cake was designed by a creative 6 year-old, instead of a baker.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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