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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec172008

Seasonal Non Sequiturs

I appreciate that some decorators are trying to think outside the traditional wreath/stocking/tree box, but then again...

For the granddaughter who loves dissecting frogs - formaldehyde frosting optional. (And you know, without the comma "Love Grandma" becomes more of a command. A really creepy one.)

Have a cake left over from Halloween? Meh, just slap a Santa hat on it.*

The head of a flower, the face of a snowman, the body of a slug, and a candy cane for a...belt buckle. (Please, let's just go with belt buckle.) "Let it Snow"? How about "Let it Go" - as in, away. Far, far away.

Brace yourself for this next one:

The mind, it boggles. Is this a frilly white Santa caterpillar, crawling up a red boulder? Or has Santa sampled some Wonka chewing gum (with cherry pie dessert)? The back certainly does nothing to clear up the mystery:

What IS that little bump? A tail?

Even more baffling, the decorator thought this was such a smashing design that s/he made it in miniature as well:

Now the bumps are on the side. What does it mean?!?

Try to picture those "cakes" without the plastic Santa heads for a moment. I'm getting a real "raw meatballs sitting in radioactive waste" vibe - how 'bout you?

Thanks to intrepid Wreckporters Brittney E., Meredith O., Kelly D., & Heather K.!

*I'm told this is actually a Grinch cake. Not sure that alleviates the wreckiness, though.

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Reader Comments (211)

The "grinch" looks more like Oscar the Grouch.

September 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I saw the Santa cake I thought, what the......? Then I read your Santa caterpillar line and I laughed so hard I cried!

December 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie Swadling

THAT'S how Santa gets down the chimney! He uses Mini SantaPillars/ Mini SantaSlugs ( go InterCapping!!) Also, the "Grinch" cake is plain disturbing.

December 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

The Santapillars (and your commentary on same) have crying. Literally crying. Whether they are tears of laughter or tears of fear, I shall never know.

February 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

The second one-you know that scene from The Silence of the Lambs in which Clarice finds Hannibal's last patient's head in the limo in storage? Yeah- well, "it was for the best really, his therapy was going nowhere."The decorator must have been a REAL fan. CHARMING!

March 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

The santa cakes were the bakers' attempt to signify that the guy is... has a "bulky build", to be politically correct. The heads are backward, and they overestimated the size of the plastic flotsam. The ruffle is the split in his coat where the puts it on, and I'm praying the red thing is a button (i.e. not a boner). The cake is wrong, but I solv eternal Cake Wrecks mysteries. I have solved the carrot jockey problem (see the post) and this one. However, I am stumped by the word Falkersatherhood. Falkersatherhood is a problem. I think it involved tequila and a taxi.

becuase slapping a santa hat on something makes it sooo much better.

August 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

They are santa seals on red rocks. The big one at least.

January 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

I think the Santa-boulder cake is Santa, who is really fat, in his suit, which is wet because he fell into a swimming pool. The white slug is Mrs. Claus's wig, and the tailbumps are his wrists.

February 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMe, I, or just "them."

That was Oscar the Grouch under the hat. Good ironic choice for people who are tired of Christmas. And everyone knows that snowflakes frequently are six-sided! It looked unfortunately similar to a flower because cupcakes are round. He/she did the best she/he could.

June 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

Brand new to wrecks, love the site, know this is an old post but HAD to weigh in...

On the caterpillar Santa, and on all the thoughts this is a Grinch cake... I think that was the attempt (it looks like the bags the Grinch used to steal Christmas?)... But the Grinch never kidnapped Santa (as to why his head is poking out of the bag), that was Jack Skellington... Thinking maybe the stories, among other things, were confused.

May 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCyndiV

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