Seasonal Non Sequiturs
December 17, 2008 I appreciate that some decorators are trying to think outside the traditional wreath/stocking/tree box, but then again...
For the granddaughter who loves dissecting frogs - formaldehyde frosting optional. (And you know, without the comma "Love Grandma" becomes more of a command. A really creepy one.)
Have a cake left over from Halloween? Meh, just slap a Santa hat on it.*
The head of a flower, the face of a snowman, the body of a slug, and a candy cane for a...belt buckle. (Please, let's just go with belt buckle.) "Let it Snow"? How about "Let it Go" - as in, away. Far, far away.
Brace yourself for this next one:
The mind, it boggles. Is this a frilly white Santa caterpillar, crawling up a red boulder? Or has Santa sampled some Wonka chewing gum (with cherry pie dessert)? The back certainly does nothing to clear up the mystery:
What IS that little bump? A tail?
Even more baffling, the decorator thought this was such a smashing design that s/he made it in miniature as well:
Now the bumps are on the side. What does it mean?!?
Try to picture those "cakes" without the plastic Santa heads for a moment. I'm getting a real "raw meatballs sitting in radioactive waste" vibe - how 'bout you?
Thanks to intrepid Wreckporters Brittney E., Meredith O., Kelly D., & Heather K.!
*I'm told this is actually a Grinch cake. Not sure that alleviates the wreckiness, though.
Reader Comments (209)
The "grinch" looks more like Oscar the Grouch.
When I saw the Santa cake I thought, what the......? Then I read your Santa caterpillar line and I laughed so hard I cried!
THAT'S how Santa gets down the chimney! He uses Mini SantaPillars/ Mini SantaSlugs ( go InterCapping!!) Also, the "Grinch" cake is plain disturbing.
The Santapillars (and your commentary on same) have crying. Literally crying. Whether they are tears of laughter or tears of fear, I shall never know.
The second one-you know that scene from The Silence of the Lambs in which Clarice finds Hannibal's last patient's head in the limo in storage? Yeah- well, "it was for the best really, his therapy was going nowhere."The decorator must have been a REAL fan. CHARMING!
The santa cakes were the bakers' attempt to signify that the guy is... has a "bulky build", to be politically correct. The heads are backward, and they overestimated the size of the plastic flotsam. The ruffle is the split in his coat where the puts it on, and I'm praying the red thing is a button (i.e. not a boner). The cake is wrong, but I solv eternal Cake Wrecks mysteries. I have solved the carrot jockey problem (see the post) and this one. However, I am stumped by the word Falkersatherhood. Falkersatherhood is a problem. I think it involved tequila and a taxi.
becuase slapping a santa hat on something makes it sooo much better.
They are santa seals on red rocks. The big one at least.
I think the Santa-boulder cake is Santa, who is really fat, in his suit, which is wet because he fell into a swimming pool. The white slug is Mrs. Claus's wig, and the tailbumps are his wrists.