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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Dec202008

Ye Olde Yuletide Ax

Prepare your retinas for an assault of Christmas-time proportions:

Jami H. assures me there's actually cake under that mess. A mess, I might add, which is completely inedible - except for the frosting dots on the plastic aquarium sprigs, of course. So let's see: we've got trees, icicle garland, holly berries and leaves, and a shiny gold...ax?

Srsly - who plans this stuff?

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Reader Comments (119)

I don't really understand what's going on here, but I know I'm scared.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*jen ~ Fifty-Cent Head

Well ya know Jen, mass murderers want to celebrate Christmas too! Jeez, you're so discriminatory.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZitny Clan

Prepare your retinas, indeed!!

Is that lettuce I see on there???

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Mmmmm, plastic axe.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMel

That looks JUST like the trashcan in my son's kindergarten classroom did when I swept all the junk off the craft table after their holiday party.... who woulda thunk I could have marketed it as a holiday cake? Good news for me, I have 2 more to send through school.... I'm gonna be RICH!

Tammy

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfour little blessings

Is that a cupcake under there? I think I spot a cupcake wrapper...

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Shocking.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What IS that??? (turning head, squinting eyes, moving closer to screen - nope didn't help!)

I think I see a CUPCAKE under all of that mess! And does it have red and green swirled frosting with holiday sprinkles? I wonder if the wreckerator thought they were fixing it by adding plastic crap to cover up the part where the red and green combined to brown instead of swirling in a festive holiday fashion.

And the ax... I am really at a loss on that one. Maybe to chop down the aquarium springs growing out of your cupcake?

Thanks for some Saturday morning humor!!!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

"..someone left the cake out in the rain..." No, really.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Godin

I'm pretty sure the axe is for
Chopping through all the ornamental
garbage to get to the luscious Fruit
Cake inside! No? Then maybe it's
A suicide axe for killing yourself
after ingesting that nasty bit of
Christmas festivity!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

The golden ax caught my eye immediately. Why? If it were a scythe, I could understand...Father Time, and all...
I look forward to your blog and your witty commentary every day. Thanks so much!
Blogless Mary Lou

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first thing I said when I open this was...

"What the eff is that?"

Of course, 'eff' was completely pronounced.

Some poeple should not be allowed near a mixer & a stove.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like Santa threw up on the cake. All of that crap...errr stuff...isn't even artfully arranged. Looks like the decorator (and I use that term loosely!) stood back 5 feet and just threw it willy-nilly. Why bother?!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSue

Could this cake lend some of its decorations to yesterday's "Winter" cake? They'd both still be wrecks, I promise!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Where's the kitchen sink?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Best of all, it looks like all that mess is on a cupcake!!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

I had to keep leaning closer and closer to my laptop screen to actually figure out what was going on!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNey

Maybe there's something about the cake they were trying to distract people from. Perhaps they thought "if we pile enough random crap on top of the cake, they won't realize we ran out of frosting."

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

What the HECK!!!!!!! this is crazy!
What kind of person comes up with crap like this and thinks its a good job well done??????
NUTS!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVashti

That looks like a cracked tooth waiting to happen!

Monique D.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In fourth grade, we made presents for our moms that looked like this cake: a plaster of Paris base with things just kind of embedded in it, of which all that remain now are the twigs of decomposed evergreen sprigs, a dusting of glitter, and the partial carcasses of broken tiny glass ornaments. So cheer up, cake -- in 39 years you'll look much more tasteful.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthisbagisnotatoy

Woah.
What is happening here?

WV: mucro -- What this cake is made of.


Brianna McCarthy@Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

I thnk that's a giant cupcake hiding underneath there...perhaps the purpose of the ax is to break the cupcake free?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

I...um...what? That's not a cake. That is the pile of bits and pieces of broken or unwanted decorations that has been sitting in a corner of the garage.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBridgete

I think someone was walking through the bakery with a box full of unused decorations and they tripped and dumped them on top of the cake. Then the decorator was probably busy and just threw some frosting on there for good measure.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBigMomma

I think I see a cupcake somewhere in there... lol

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

Someone had a perfect town in Animal Crossing!

Also, Druids would cut mistletoe with a golden blade, maybe the wreckerator is better-educated in folklore than we thought.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna

Here's what happened.

Employee #1: I have to leave early. When that cake is out of the oven decorate it for Christmas and put it in the case.

Employee #2: Uh, I'm not sure I know how to do Christmas cakes.

Employee #1: Just like a birthday cake, except red and green, instead of electric blue.

Employee #2: [Doubtful look, remembering how loudly the last birthday cake customer screamed.]

Employee #1: Just do your best, and if you mess anything up there's a bunch of Christmas decorating inedibles in the drawer next to the airbrush. You can cover up any mistakes with something from there.
---
And as for the axe, the Presidents' Day supplies are in the next drawer up, and Lincoln's Axe got in the wrong compartment.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

IT's what you do at the grocery's cake department when the teen ager is baking and he/she doesn't know how to ice and decorate...
"hey I know! I'll just go get some of that tree decorating stuff off the discount table at the back of the grocery store near the restrooms and use that instead. Christmas is Christmas right? " heh heh heh....
even scarily - *someone* is going to buy this!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarieA

I'm seriously worried about my mental state because...I think I understand the "theme". It's an ode to going out into the wintry, icy woods to chop down your Christmas tree. Peaceful, ice laden branches, golden ax, branches crackling underfoot.
I've fallen into the vortex Hold me!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

it looks like one of this pictures with a lot of stuff on it and you have to look for one tiny person . In this case it's more like "finde the ax"

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMella

My son has an irrational fear of Veggie Tales. He was leaning over my shoulder and said "oh no mommy veggie tales made a cake..no mommy no!!!!" The scariest thing he could imagine creating the scariest thing imaginable..that about sums it up ;)

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

What...What IS that??? Did they really put that on display??? My sweet mother of Wilton.

Word Verification: inner; This cake violates my inner cake decorator.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobynNewt

christmas barfed on that cake, cupcake/ whatever? it must have been a rough night for christmas.....

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterutaduta

This is what happens when Santa barfs.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

This is my new favorite wreck! Hideous in the most magnificent way!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Maybe they made it for Jack Nicholson to commemorate "The Shining."

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterE

Where's the psycho santa with the bugged out eyes?

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

The thing is hideous for sure, but the ax is kind of a traditional Yuletide Log decoration. Get it? Log? Ax? There is logic there.

The garland? Not so much.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Mella- I'm not sure. The axe is the one item I could actually tell what it was. The rest is just... a glob of stuff?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaynie

And OMG, my verification word was vicules! I can totally see it, "This cake is covered in vicules of holiday decoration."

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaynie

Is there even any cake under that monstrosity?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChar

Is that a cupcake??!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarla

At last, a cake to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas--going to extremes in the most excessive manner possible.
Except I didn't see gold or silver dragees. Maybe next year.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I'm with the person who said, "It's an ode to going out into the wintry, icy woods to chop down your Christmas tree." Not to justify the result, but I think there was a coherent intention there -- it started from a Buche de Noel and spiralled out of control.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCut-Up Cakes for Grownups

There's nothing wrong with an ax on your buche de noel, but it makes more sense if you can tell that the cake is supposed to resemble a log!

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervespabelle

It looks like the twisted pile of stuff at the bottom of the ornament box when we drag it out of the attic every December. Not a very appetite-inducing sight, I have to say.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJules Noctambule

Who manufactures shiny gold axes, and for what purpose?!

Oh wait - is there an annual Paul Bunyan convention somewhere?

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

That looks like someone got really excited about the holidays and threw up...thus creating this wreck.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Is this supposed to be something you eat?

?????

???

??

? Nope, I still don't see it.

**Word verification: racipe - a recipe for an inedible cake

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrrr

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