My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Totally Cheating

In yet another blow to true cake artists everywhere, many large chain bakeries are now "decorating" cakes almost exclusively with plastic flotsam. In theory, this means the "decorators" require even less skill, and therefore will wreck less cakes. That's the theory, anyway.

Well, Kelinda S., I guess we can't complain too much here: so long as the decorators don't put the feet on backwards, there's really not much they could do to wreck this design up.

Wait, did I say put the feet on backwards?

Ok, so these designs are still wreckable, as Jen S. discovered with Thunder Thighs Santa here. Though to be fair, maybe the decorator's thumbs DO face that way - that might explain a lot, actually...*

Some of these plastic cheats are deceptive. For example, at first glance Lyndsay W.'s find looks like a really well-made Santa suicide scene:

(Yes, of course Santa bleeds sprinkles. Duh.) However, that head is actually plastic. It's even kind of cute, compared with the nightmarish clown-head-picks all us Wilton vets know so well.

Of course, other plastic cheats can be just a smidge more obvious, as Amy D. discovered:

Attention Bakery Managers: you may want to post some instruction photos for these cheat kits. You know, to avoid the whole upside-down-nose-and-mustache thing.

What, you can't tell it's upside down? Here, I'll show you:

See? Santa went from sad & droopy to only mildly consternated. Much better. Also, if this Wreck isn't proof that wreckerators are addicted to their airbrushes, I don't know what is. I mean, it looks like someone attacked Santa with a machete! Two words, guys: "Inter" and "Vention". [earnest head nodding]

As someone who enjoys wrapping gifts so much that I actually *d0* wrap empty boxes just for funsies, I find this next one from Brian D. especially horrifying:

That's REAL non-matching ribbon on the lumpy green square thing edged with ketchup ooze on the round cake board. And did I mention the ribbons don't match? [shudder]

But then, Brian M. reminds us that in this season of extravagance it's often the little things that can bring the most joy:

Even better: the package next to this one also has the "oh oh oh"s. Score!!!

* Ok, yes, I suppose your thumbs would be on the outside if you bend your arms at the elbow. And yes, it took me about 45 seconds of thumb twisting experimentation to figure that out. :)

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Reader Comments (143)

I think the OH OH OH cupcakes need to be displayed next to the sad Santa, because Im pretty sure thats what he would say after getting steam rolled and thrown on the grill like that. Poor guy.

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterM.D.

Thunder Thighs Santa looks like he's doing the Macarena.

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGlory

my favorite is the "Oh Oh Oh." of course, my dirty mind doesn't read that with Christmas in mind at all...

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstuckonsushi

I thought that the cake with the plastic details (the airbrushed one) was a teddy bear before i saw the right side up mustache! im such a retard...

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRoaming Gnome

Thanks for putting up the snowman. He's the first ccc sighted in the city I believe. S*****store has wreckerators

The legs are so he can run away...far far away.

I love the cupcakes...Christmas porno anyone?

wvotd cometal..."oh cometal ye faithful..."

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Perhaps the Oh-Oh-Oh cupcakes are promotional items for a Tom Joyner event?

"Oh! Oh! Oh! It's the Tom Joyner Morning Show!"

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

Merciful Heaven.
And looky! Santa Cake is wearing the Wicked Witch of the West's stripey stockings!
With any luck, someone will drop a house on HIM, too.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Our Wal-Mart does NOT stoop to using mere plastic flotsam on its cakes. The bakers there, being wonderfully creative little elves, have taken it upon themselves to top all of their seasonal cakes with COOKIE CUTTERS. The theory is, apparently, that customers will overlook the pathetic ornamentation to "save money and live better" by not having to purchase cookie cutters this year.

Word verification: "whimpe," which very accurately describes dear Wally-world's holiday cake decorations...

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTora

Hubby and I were discussing one of these plastic flotsam Santa-face cakes in a large grocery store just yesterday, and I said it's not a Wreck, because it's so neatly done. Lame, but neat. How could someone screw that up?

I now see all too clearly...

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSleepwalker

Well - since its the season, we could give some credit. If we turn the last one upside down, the OH OH OH becomes HO HO HO...
The missing exclamation mark is the saving grace :)

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPra

lol, Safeway Safeway Safeway, they were the culprits in a Halloween pumpkin/jackolantern cake I sent you as well.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternc

Sheesh. Given the number of inverted plastic decorations, what's next? Reindeer with their legs bending the wrong way? Santa plunged headfirst into a mound of frosting?

Actually, I'd probably buy that latter one if I ever saw it.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the OH OH OH cupcakes! But they should have waited...that's not a Xmas-appropriate design and should be saved for something more adult like the Night After Valentine's Day, perhaps.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeather


Score is right! These are so bad they're good. Those OH OH OH's win completely.

I don't know how the people who buy these cakes actually get past laughing at them to eating them.

Brianna McCarthy @ Passion.Fruit

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

ok, the santa face in pieces looks like a sad kitty could they get that sooooo wrong????

/looks down shaking head..they destroyed Santa!!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

....and the green brick. It's what I'm throwing through Santa's window. It's a nasty message written on nasty green paper. Because I still don't have the pony I asked for when I was 4.

wvotd wafes....what you do instead of waving because your thumbs are on backwards.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

I laughed my ass off with the OH OH OH cupcakes...then I realized...maybe the decorator was iliterate....Now I am sad

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTom

so....about the green rectangle with mismatched ribbon...
What is with the green squiggle on the side of the cake? You've got Rudolph, Santa, and what?

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCara

You're all silly - can't you see the *cupcakes* are upside down?! Obviously none of you are trapeze artists or gymnasts....

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMairs

I can't believe how many people are claiming that the "OH OH OH" picks are correct if you turn the cupcakes around.

Noooo, they're not. See how they're in at a definite angle? That gives the cupcakes a front, which is indeed facing the camera, and therefore they are upside-down.

Hopefully YOU can see that even if the original wreckerator couldn't.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjen shizuka

Dear Wreckerators: Drugs are bad, mmkay? At least when you're at work, they're bad! People don't have striped faces. Snowmen are generally not endowed with legs and feet. The nose goes above the mouth. Santa is not generally known to have a gargantuan tush and then toothpick legs, nor is it particularly jolly to dismember him. What's UP with you guys?

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Hilarious today as always, of course, but I gotta chide you on the "Oh Oh Oh" entry...The photo's just upside-down! Spin 180 degrees and it becomes normal...sort of.


December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElise

Oh Oh Oh - How do you like Santa's "O-Face!"

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJacqueline

The eyebrows are also wrong! Look closely and you'll see they should each be on the other eye!
Dallas, OR

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They have been selling tons of those snowman cakes at the grocery stores around us. It's crazy! And people buy them too! Will send in some pics of others ASAP.


December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Now I need to go look for Oh Oh Oh cupcakes for the humor value at my family Christmas! Thanks for the giggles.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMemeGRL

I just saw the snowman CCC in our local grocery store. Except one of the mittens was facing the wrong way...much like the Santa. Too funny.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I know I'm a little behind, but I love this site, and the Santa upside-down nose thing made me remember a picture I took at Wal-mart in one of those claw machines:

If you wanna see it. :)

December 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter~Red~

Oh how your commentary always cracks me up! I should've been in bed hours ago, but I get sucked in here!

That snowman cake seems to have some big... snow*balls* instead of legs!

And the Santa with the upside down nose/mouth? The entire background of the cake looks like a slab of bacon. Gross.

Thanks for the laughs!

"See? Santa went from sad & droopy to only mildly consternated."
I read that as 'mildly constipated', and you know what? That's what it -should- say!

January 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLian

The thunderthighs don't worry me so much as the leprechaun legs...You'd think they'd at least get the time of year right?

March 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did anyone else notice that the Santa suicide cake has a plastic pick that reads "Blessed Season" on it? Blessed Season of what? Santa horror??!! Traumatizing the kids???

March 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the up-side down nose cake makes me think "good kitty santa!"

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

not only did they put santa's nose on upside-down, they also seem to have barbecued his face and then tried to cover it with the plastic santa face pieces!

May 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoebe

Am I the only one who saw that last pic and thought of "Sweet Caroline?"
(oh oh oh...good times never felt so good...So good! So good! Okay, I'll shut up now.)

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

OMG reading this for the first time, going back through to read all the old posts, and I think this is from my bakery! We put the Ho-Ho-Hos on upside down on purpose ;) To see if anyone would notice. Think its my bakery cause the pinecone picks are from 4 years ago and the snowflake are 2 years old, we used them all up this year

June 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIlluminatiSancti

On the last wreck- I think mommy has her boyfriend over!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRiver

I know this post is forever ago, but I can't help myself, and simply must tell you. All I can think of is "The Right Stuff", from NKTOB.

July 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNoelle

Emo Santa(a.k.a upside-down mouth)..
the upside down thing is bad.. but the lizard-man-esque striped flesh-

I dunno what disease he has- but i think if i sported flesh so festively striped- I might be sad too.

poor emo santa- the holidays *are* the hardest aren't they?

August 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHawkfeather

Am I the only one that sees that present as a giftwrapped creature of some sort? Because from where I'm sitting, that Santa head on the side looks like an eye. It looks like it's about to pounce...

Word verification: "busti". Methinks the internet just made a Freudian slip.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZelly

First off, let me say I ADORE this site, as a hobbyist baker/decorator. I get a great many lulz and cheerings-up from this site. I lurk here frequently, and I only come out of hiding to say that for the first time since I've been lurking, Jen, you have used one of my pet peeves: saying "less" when you should have said "fewer." That's right up there with "should of" instead of "should've." Not to be nit picky, it's just the ONE THING that really gets me x)

I know you know this stuff Jen!

October 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFuture Wreckorator

1: says display only. If that's the display cake, I'd hate to see the others. Which must be every other wreck in this post.
2: You've heard of Bumpits for hair and Butt-Ups for your butt, but not THIGH-Ups.
3: Clearly, Santa did NOT commit suicide, peoples. He is sprawled in roadkill position, so someone up north musta been driving drunk while he was crossing the street.
4: Santa-osis.
5: There's no better gift than a poorly wrapped video game enemy with a small poop swirl on its behind!
6: OH wow.

February 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

Number four=sad seal.

October 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

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