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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec032008

Wedding Wrecks

Pay very close attention to these cake pairs, now; I wouldn't want you to get the Wreck mixed up with the Inspiration Cake. [eye roll]

First up:

Elodie M. asked her baker to do this, only with far fewer rose petals. The baker obliged by providing this:

Ah, nothing symbolizes the beginning of a new life with the one you love quite like shriveled old rose petals. On the plus side, at least they distract the eye away from the poor cake construction. The weird grass sprigs sprouting haphazardly from the side and top help in that arena, too.

Next, Claire G. discovered the hard way how important "pipemanship" (as opposed to penmanship) is.

What she wanted:

(I believe this is from Martha Stewart.)

What she got:

Such delicacy, such grace...

By the by, I don't monogram much, but I think the middle initial is supposed to be larger than the other two. I also think that if "msk" were a word, it would accurately describe the leveling job done on the leaning wonder here.

And lastly, Hannah W. asked for this, only with square tiers instead of round:


She even brought in the brown ribbon and fresh blue hydrangeas for the bakery to use. Pretty simple, right? Just make some white square tiers. But you know how some bakeries are, always complicating things...

Let's see. Misshapen layers, lumpy icing, no ribbon, electric teal icing "flowers"... What seems to be the problem, Hannah?

« The Most Wonderful Time of the Year | Main | Calling All Wreckporters! »

Reader Comments (213)

Wow, the first one almost made me cry.
1. My dad pointed out that it loooked like the bakers kicked it to the wedding.
2. I made a cake like that (sorta) except without the wreckiness, once. When I was 12...

December 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHey you with the socks!

I was reading through the posts on this where people have been asking whether there is powdered sugar on the first cake - if the ah, wreckerator, did use fondant, then it would probably be cornstarch that they didn't dust off (after rolling out the fondant), not powdered sugar. And that's really gross - I know my customers don't want to eat cornstarch.
This is certainly a huge understatement, but these are horrible. My heart goes out to the brides who had to deal with these - and I'm glad that they were able to find enough humor in it to have them posted here.

December 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Don't bakeries have example of what they've done?

You can get a better cake from a grocery store bakery than any of these.

December 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith

I feel so sorry for the brides. I wonder how bakeries get away with this? The price seemed too good to be true? Piss off the baker?

I would of shoved the cake back and tell them f off and not even have a cake at the wedding. Or just buy a sheet cake from Costco or something. Its just sooo sad to see them, but they are great to look at.

Do you have the behind the sense stories on these cakes? Like what did they do? Did they get their money back?

December 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFiona and Benjamin

Ack, my eyes! My beautiful eyes!

This is infuriating, especially because these are relatively simple cakes to decorate. Sure, working with fondant is nobody's idea of a good time, but when the client is bringing in the decorative accessories and you STILL can't get it right...I'm suddenly feeling sooo much better about my lopsided first efforts, but possibly much worse about humanity! Those poor people!

December 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

Those wedding cakes are baked and decorated by expert pastry chefs and cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

You can't just go to your local bakery and expect them to replicate these cakes exactly.

December 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay- this post- SERIOUSLY has helped me deal with my own wedding cake disappointment.

I mean.. you always hear... if you have a "picture".. I would have been in tears..

Mine was a more of a rose petal mess. ( I just wanted the roses on top.. I made the topper myself) Put it on .. loved it.. but then the lady- (who was invited to the reception thought she needed to "fix it" it needed more... and she did the petals and such..

anyway- you've swiped away years of disapppointement.. I've seen worse! Oh so much worse!
Thankyou!

December 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSWIRL

WOW. The first one is especially baffling. I mean, really...how much more simple can it be? It's all white. You just lay fresh rose petals on and around it. SIMPLE. Good Lord!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbadfae

If you look closely at the bottom wreck, it looks as though the reception was held in an unfinished basement. So while there is little excuse for that excuse of a cake, I'm calling BS and guessing that the cake was made by dear old Aunt Rita rather than a pro.

July 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Sheesh,Baker-of-second-cake.The letters are obviosly MTR.Duh.

July 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ah well, at least they won't have to worry about the cakes being 'too beautiful to cut'.

November 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedHeadFashionista

This same thing happened for my wedding too! I asked someone professional and gave her a photo of my inspiration. She gave the job to her daughter who had never made a cake, while I still paid full price. It was not even close to the original, tilting, and cake showing! Horrible feeling to have on your wedding day! I know how these people must have felt!

January 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Who's in charge of hiring new employees at the bakeries?
Whoever they are (and there must be TONS) they are not doing their job very well.
The poor brides. Can't help but feel sorry for them.

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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