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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec092008

Artistic License

I've been getting requests for more "missed marks" Wrecks. Your wish = my command. Well, when it's something I was going to do anyway, that is.

Here's what Jennifer S. wanted for her sister-in-law's baby shower:


So you know this is going to be good, right? [snicker] Here's how I imagine the conversation in the bakery went:

"So Lee, you gonna need a tracing for that cake design?"
[scoffing] "Puh-lease! Me? Don't you remember how I took that art class in night school last fall? I'm golden! Pass me the airbrush, will ya?"
"Wow, are you sure? It looks pretty complicated..."
"Only to the untrained eye, my friend. Now stand back and let the master work."

15 minutes later:
[staring]"Gosh, Lee, I don't know..."
"Yeah, it's a little bare in the corners, huh? I better add some roses. Let's see, what color goes best with purple, orange, and yellow?"
"Maybe a light pur..."
[interrupting] "OH! I know: teal!"

(Note: The crazy names and question marks were actually requested, since the baby's name was still undisclosed. I'm guessing the damaged area was a result of Jennifer doing a face-plant after fainting in disgust at the sight of it. Am I right, Jen?)

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Reader Comments (146)

Okay, all other wreckiness aside, I really hope they didn't pick Renton as a name. Really. What better start in life than to be named after a fictional Scottish junkie with a penchant for toilet-diving?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa Kirk

It looks like one of those Magie Eye pictures!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterginlyn

I also see a flying purple snail.

Maybe Mork would have been an appropriate baby name after seeing this cake...

wvotd: quenest. Must be the planet the slug is from.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

That is...I'm speechless...forget the stork...bring in the aliens!

For all those who think the design is too complicated....edible images is a pretty simple process. They can churn those suckers out to look like anything or anybody...they do photos of people all the time. All they need is for the original to be in soft copy. And if the baker really needed to frost it or whatever, they could have just traced the edible image.

So that is just a horrible, out of focus, wrecktastic design that we can now all use to brighten our day :)

~Bonnie B~

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A spaceship that looks like a purple snail. Interesting.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLesleMora

I see a chess piece on a devil ray fish chained to birds. What kind of fiendish torture is this??? Are the birds under water, or is the fish in the air? And what does the pawn have to do with anything??? If I'm reading this cake right, the poor child is going to be used heedlessly by parents who had no right to breed in the first place!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

That there is the best airbrushed snail & butterflies cake ever!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

This is absolutely hilarious.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Tildy Spot

Dr. Suess would be rolling over in his grave if he saw that one. YIKES!
~Amy B

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

But, I have to know - is it a gril?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkath

Fritzpatrick? McTavish? --Renton? Jabba the Hutt Jr? Slug Blob?
Oh, the amazing "Click to Enlarge" I love seeing these failures blown up in their full glory!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

I see people saying she was asking for a wreck by asking for a complicated design. I say, the baker's shouldn't except a design they know they can't handle. They're be less wrecks if people would just admit that they have no idea what they're doing when it comes to cakes.
sure, life would be less boring that way but they're also be fewer frustrated costumers.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZombie Edward

What happened to the days of reverse transfers? Colored Gel anyone?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKat

E for effort, F for FAIL

Putting aside the legal question for the moment...

even my supermarkets have one of those scanner/printers that creates an edible image that could just be plopped on top of a cake

and who would walk out with a cake with that booboo on the edge?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterphillygirl64

OK, is it just me, or do those names sound more like LAST names than FIRST? I mean, if the baby's last name (thus and therefore, baby's DADDY) is as-of-yet undisclosed, perhaps next time they should look for a cake wreck/ paternity test package deal. In mean, come on, Walmart's gotta have something like that, right? *snicker*

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Amazing commentary!!

Why is the baby just a shadow of a person, a yellow shadowy person?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Someday, one CW reader is going to meet a kid named FritzPatrick and just know this was his cake.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

OK, after this, the Mowhawk carrot-riding babies starts to look good. At least you could tell what everything was!!! Wrecks like this make some previous wrecks not seem so bad. Still funny, of course, but maybe not as bad as we first thought. OH, NO!!!!! New category needed, When Wrecks Go Right.....

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

First time commenting.... but I just had too.

I read CW everyday and this is by far my favorite.

Honestly. Who knew that snails could fly if you hooked their....eyes? to flying yellow lizards with pompoms on their tails? Much less that you could ride in them.

VW: route. A planet, star and slime studded route to life.

http://www.mainelyclare.blogspot.com

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClare

Let's be honest: she didn't go to ace of cakes. She probably went to a local bakery and paid local bakery prices.

You get what you pay for.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaulleigh

Um....why are those flying monkey hauling a snail carcass wrapped ameoba? Please tell me WHY?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

I was rather charmed with the idea of telling the child, when it came time for the famous birds and bees talk, "Yes, the purple snail brought you...you're too special for a stork." But then I noticed that the snail is actually hauling a (gasp)giant baby bottle nipple. There's no baby there at all.
Yikes. word verification is copul.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Someone definitely did some airbrush damage with that cake. Poor McTovish.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Whoa.

I think "decorators" (and I am using that term loosely) should be licensed in airbrush usage. And get re-tested yearly. And if (ha! When!) you fail the test, your airbrush will be taken away from you.

Hehehe - my WV is aphall. As in "I am totally aphalled by this wreck"!!!!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

For those commenting that the design is too complex, a friend of mine has had cakes for her birthday that recreated a) the battle of Thermopylae (sp?), b) scenes from anime, and c) a famous portrait of Mme. de Pompadour. The bakers did it by making an edible print for the cake top, which is what these bakers should have done.

Re. the image being copyrighted, I think it would only be a problem if the bakery were illegally using a copyrighted image as a regular design. I could be mistaken, but I think a single commission, not for resale but for a private party, would be considered fair use.

Word verification: luoutonc. Lunatic or luau tonic? Take your pick; either is appropriate.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my...

what a tragedy.

Spaceships? Geese?

Even THATS too crazy for Dr Suess' standards.

Love your Blog, Jen! Thanks for the wrecks!

word verification: oppoingl: as in OPPOINGL! that's one awful wrecktastrophe!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTaryn

That is awful! Even the handwriting sucks.

Garret

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJim and Garret

They definitely should have copied this image. Did the original requester specify the airbrush technique? Terrible!!! I would be so disappointed to have space themed baby shower.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulianna

This cake it is a horrid wreck!
Poor Dr. Seuss, to inspire such dreck!
His innocence is clear to all,
'Tis the decorator must take the fall!

I would not serve this on a plane,
I would not serve it on a train.
I would not serve it on a caboose,
I would not serve it to a moose.
I would not serve it here or there,
I would not serve it anywhere!


verification word: promoa: being in favor of moas.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTwistie

I'm HOWLING !!!!!!!!!! This ALMOST surpasses the mohawk babies on veggies... ALMOST...!!!!!!!

Someone puhleeze pass the tissues! Major ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

You know, everyone is seeing spaceships, but all I see is a pile of orange jell-o being toted by yellow griffins.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMikki Black

Pssst, Twisty...

Just a heads up from one friend to another... be careful what you say about moas on this site. wink

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Re. the image being copyrighted, I think it would only be a problem if the bakery were illegally using a copyrighted image as a regular design.

Not to beat a nearly dead horse, but once they accept money for it, it's illegal whether they make it once or a hundred times. I worked for a large copy store chain that got sued for copyright violation - so I learned more than I ever want to know about that kind of thing :)

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I've known for years that the Mother Ship was going to return for some people (including my Jerkoid Nephew), but I never knew she delivered them, too. I always thought they came in pods.

Word verification: rerine. Let's hope we never see this cake in rerines.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

This is a horrible wreck. But am I the only one who thinks the writing was done with Colgate Cool Mint Gel toothpaste?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDave D-O-Double-G

I'm just amazed how many people don't know their Dr. Seuss well enough.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryousuckatcraigslist

I agree that it's a very complicated design; but I seem to remember watching Food Network and nowadays they have fancy edible icing sheets, upon which can be printed (with edible ink) any manner of neat designs. With that technology this design would have been a cakewalk (snicker--I couldn't help myself!).

An upscale cake place would have been able to do this...WalMart or Kroger, not so much. I would never have asked a supermarket place to do this--it makes me wonder what kind of bakery was asked to reproduce the design in question.

The colors are really unfortunate, though. No excuse for that!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I have done a few projects that I wish I'd let a professional do....but then I didn't actually sell them to anyone!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThistledew Farm

Wow. Looks like a giant purple slug.

Word verification: Sunpo. Like a depot, only for the sun.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermhgood

Those birds have balls and chains attached to them, but they still manage to keep flying. Even with hauling that chariot-slug behind them.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlisonH

Ok, yes, it is a "complicated" design. But it isn't SO complicated that ALL the dimensions are off, the colours wonky and the flying creatures (can't call them birds) look like they're involved in some bondage game. Uncool.

Who decided, 'yep! I can so do that!'

Shame on you Lee.



Brianna McCarthy@Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.carbonmade.com

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

Oh wow - now that's BAD!!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTranquility

Oh I don't think any copyright was infringed here. There's not even the slightest resemblance to Seuss' original image, so....

That said, I'm fairly certain this was served at the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes baby shower. Aliens, snails, pterodactyls... Perfect for a Scientology get-together.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobynNewt

I see a snail! He's arriving via snail-coach (must be quite overdue) with ducks tethered alongside to hurry him along.

The question marks? Did "Welcome Baby" not cross anyones mind?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! IT'S A WTF?

oh. wow.

ouch.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTonyia

Oh, Jen, you have such a way with words (as if the wreck weren't enough!). Thanks for the [literal] laugh. :)

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCody

HOLY HOLES IN A DONUT BATMAN! I just saw a flyin turd steal our bat saucer...

Having worked in several bakeries over the years I must say there are other methods of making a viable copy of that picture. One is an projector. Even the DQ I decorated cakes at had one. They didnt need to copy it perfectly but a simple line drawing over the smudgy airbrush would have worked just fine. I am totally offended at the HORRID printing. If you dont have nice handwriting leave the print work for someone that does.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGirler

I'm sort of hoping the choices are last or middle names. This cake wreck only lasted a few hours but to go through life as McTovish or FriztPatrick... poor kid, I can hear the taunting now.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As nasty as the cake is, those names are pretty awful as well!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermeltingcinderella

So in failing so miserably at the design and execution this is actually a legal win? Whodathunkit?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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