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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun102008

Makes Ya Wonder What the Card Said...

For that matter, does Hallmark even have a herpes section? Hm. Oh, and just for my own personal reference - how much do you have to whine about minor skin irritations to get yourself a cake?

But you know, the best part is that whoever gave this cake managed to convey an effective "Get over it, you ninny" while still getting brownie points for doing something sweet. How perfect is that?!? I'm going to have to re-evaluate my whole nagging process. I wonder how well these would work on a cake:

"Yay! You finally put the seat down!"
"Happy Hangover! Here's to many more!"
"Let it go already."
"Guess who's PMS'ing?"
"Who needs a working car/AC/dishwasher, anyway?"
"This is dinner."
"We were on a break!"

Anyone else have suggestions?

« It's Rude to Stare | Main | Can You Make a Freudian Slip in Icing? »

Reader Comments (39)

I have no idea who you are or how your cake-judging blog came into existance because but I do know that I am in complete love. I am now going to venture to the supermarket by the most neon-plastic-tasting-buttercream-topped cupcakes I can find and shove them in my face while I read each horribly awful/fantastic post.

preach on cake man.

June 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMi.and.Ry

mi&ry,

Your comment gives me the kind of warm gooshy feeling normally reserved for just-out-of-the-oven cupcakes. Many thanks. ;)

June 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Are those oozy yellow flowers supposed to resemble the pus from the cold sore?

July 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your blog is hilarious!!! This cake is my absolute favorite. If I need a laugh in the next few weeks, months, etc...all I have to do is think of this cake! Thank you!!

In the "what can I get them to write on the cake" vein, I bought a cake for dessert and the woman at Coldstone insisted we put a message on it.

My 7-year-old daughter (who's not a big fan of cake) suggested "I hate cake". The cake decorator decided to add a little frowny face to accentuate it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gucky/175132077/

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergucky

I had a friend whose idea for her wedding was to have a number of cakes and the explanation "they lost our cake, and gave us these to make up for it." Captions included "You Flew the Coop!" (complete with bird), "We'll Miss You, Mr. Jingles" and my favorite, "Congratulations, It's Not Malignant!"

The practical part of this was that wedding guests could get the flavor of cake they wanted. And it was pretty funny.

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterB. Durbin

I was thinking that maybe the recipient was also the giver. That is, he or she threw themselve a whale of a party when they found out that - ta-da! - it's not herpes, it's just a cold sore! WOOOOO!

So they bought a cake to convey that.

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDan

Perhaps it's more of a 'what a relief' cake... like telling a worried boyfriends "Hey guess what, I'm not pregnant!! Here's a cake!"
xD

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersagacioussag

I'm thinking that someone had already had and recovered from some really bad disease, maybe cancer, and when they got a mouth sore they thought it was coming back. But it turned out to be a cold sore. Yay! You are all invited to an I'm-still-in-remission party!

July 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda Shaw

I have tears of laughter.. streaming down my face.. the pictures are hideous but the commentary is GOLD.

As for a suggested topic..

It was only a car.

Sorry about the cat.

I am sure I locked it.

No one else will see this video.

July 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLanne

Actually...I read this cake as "It's just a GOLD sore"

Albeit a strange caption, it would explain the "gold" (actually yellow) flowers on the corners

July 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The best cake I ever saw, can I order three dozen?

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDingle

ok that is funny.

for a third wedding:
Third time is a charm.

"Well at least you have insurance"

"It doesn't get much better than this"

"It's gonna sting"

Its not contagious

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCorrine

"I was just late, after all" [girlfriend's cake to boyfriend]

"Congrats on your parole"

"At least you got the house"

I love this cake. Truly.

August 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdie Frau

COLD SORES ARE STILL HERPES.

*cough* Sorry. But, y'know, they are. So... yeah. Herpes cake.

August 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

- we can still be freinds*

- I'm not gonna say I told you so

- Happy Rehab Release Day!

*misspelling intentional- they never really mean it.

August 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternonemoreblack

When I separated from my husband, I had a pregnancy scare. I was staying with my best friend and his room mates at the time and when I took the test, they all cheered along with me that it was negative.
Then went and bought me a cake that actually said "You're not pregnant!" Best cake I've ever eaten

August 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

This is now the wallpaper on our computer desktop.

I enjoy pondering what inspired this.

Here are my suggestions:

"I said I was sorry! Gawd!"

"The next time you see me I'll be sober!"

"You said you'd call!"

"Good luck beating that sexual harassment charge!"

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

OMG, I'm literally crying from laughing!! This is just SO good!!

Now I want to bake a cake just so I can write "Sorry about the yeast" on it.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa Hazelton

I'd like to point out that I don't think the cake makes much sense, since a cold sore IS the herpes virus.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, if we're going to get clinical about this, one type of herpes virus causes cold sores. Another type causes sores, um, elsewhere, but can cause cold sores too. So the cake is basically saying, "It sucks, but it could have been so much worse!"

But I love that the cake seems to be individually sized. "None for me, thanks, that little herpes cake is all yours."

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, to be clinical, both types of the herpes virus can cause cold sores around the mouth and down below. So cold sores above and below the belt are all herpes.

What I love about this cake is it seems to say to the recipient is "It's only herpes. You could have gotten something much worse. Loosen up - it'll be fine!"

Wonderful cake! :)

August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love this cake for its jubilant exclamation. It's the kind of event that deserves a cake! Also, I totally want a cake that says "This is Dinner".

I love love LOVE your blog, by the way... I just discovered it yesterday and I'm in love.

August 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Laughing Cat

“We were on a break!” I had to climb back up onto my chair!

I can just see the Cake Decorator saying to the customer: “Um, ok; but if it winds up on CakeWrecks I’M going to sue YOU!”

August 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTim

Well, not nearly as funny as this, but on the day I first got my period, my dad brought home a cake that said "It's About Time!" (at least it was spelled right and appropriately centered on the inscription).

But good grief...I was 12, not 27!

August 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I seriously Love your blog and As a serious chef in training I want to Make a cake that says "Its OVER honey!"

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngelia

It's nice to see that even "a serious chef in training" will continue to make grammar mistakes after reading this blog. Hope to see your work here soon, Angelia!

March 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm perusing all of the old posts, and this one cracks me up. I also have some suggestions:

"It wasn't me"
"Congratulations on your new appliances!!!" (extra punctuation and everything)
"Hooray! You're potty trained!"
"Yikes! I didn't know she was jailbait"
"You're an OK friend."
"It's not what you think"

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

My guess is that the person who, um, received the gift that keeps on giving decided to send a cake to the, um, giver.

One with a quote of their famous last words on it. Probably to their workplace.

September 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBill Albertson

I was introduced to your site recently by a friend (we started with "Good Luck in China", which is brilliant) and find the cumulative effect makes it hard to read in public--gentle amusement becomes the church giggles pretty quickly.

I assumed the giver of this cake was the one with the "cold sore"; isn't this one of those common mythical reassurances like, "don't worry, you can't get pregnant the first time"?

September 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpoptop

yes heres one...
you finally got an F!Now you're just like the rest of us!

November 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBroken

How about one that says "Ha! I told you I wasn't the Dad!" with the rolled up paternity papers sticking out of it.

April 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKen

"We were on a break" - nice "Friends" reference!

April 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterglassroseheart

hahaha I'd hate to see what they would come up with for The mumps or something else?! lol x

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Maybe it was like "Sorry, I might have given you herpes" and then they found out it wasn't really, so they felt bad and made a cake saying "nevermind, it's not that bad".

March 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

how abot "just so you know its not that common it doesnt happen to every guy and it is a big deal!"

June 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterestelle martin

Huh? WHY??????????????

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdolphin

How about "That'll buff right out"?

April 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

My ideas for a cakey message:
We need to talk.
It could be worse!
At leest yor not ded. (misspellings intentional)
I'm sorry (but not really)

I know they're not very good.

April 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdolphin

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