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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul282008

By Show of Hands, Who Thinks We Should Call Child Protective Services?


It's bad enough that this cake seems to be using "full belly" as some kind of euphemism. Add in the picture of the scruffy-looking guy with his arms around a couple of kids, and surrounded by other children in various states of frolicking - all while in a secluded forest, I might add - and you've got some seriously disturbing cake imagery going on.

Considering the degree of wrongness already reached by those two issues, I almost feel petty in pointing out that there's no "a" before "dream".

Just call me petty, I guess.

Dana S., maybe we should look up that number...

« Get Me Holly Hobbie's Head on a Platter! | Main | There's Something to be Said for Consistency... »

Reader Comments (69)

The title don't make since to me -- it don't match the cake -- something is wrong here.I started a Munching Mama Monday -- its a recipe sharing day. So come and join us

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter{Anissa}

Little Golden Books + Homemade Crystal Methamphetamine + Rob Zombie + Betty Crocker = cake wreck!

But it still doesn't explain the conjoined twin kid with one leg adn a flipper arm resting on (or growing out of) the tree.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSeoul Brother

That's so terrible... I think the cake was supposed to be innocent, though, but I'm not sure. Hysterical, though. I laughed so hard I cried- and coughed, since I have a pretty terrible head cold right now.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHammi

That's a "drrity" cake. Eeep! No thanks, don't want a slice of pervie cake! Anyone else desperately want to know what in the world the back story is???

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Ye gods, I'm going to have nightmares now.

The skeezy-looking guy reminds me uncomfortably of a smaller and less nice version of Harry Potter's Hagrid.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog. I can't remember when I've laughed so hard before. Thanks.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

The first thing I saw was "Full Belly" sentiment and thought it was perhaps a very bizarre baby shower cake. Now, I just don't know what to think.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTheCourteousChihuahua

Can someone explain to me why it needs to be "Full Belly" and not full belly?

It it for the Full Belly organization or could it be a case of runaway quotation marks?

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterallison

There's an organization where I live called the "Fully Belly Project." Basically it's for low income families or the homeless to get food. Maybe that is what it is for.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anissa, the title implies that the guy in the picture is a pervert, which is why CPS should be called (the children are in danger from the pervy guy). Get it now? :)

Dea, I'm there with you. I would love to know what the story is behind this cake!!

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErica

It seems inappropriate to have on a cake about having full bellies - like its making a mockery of hunger. On a luxury item that isn't even good for you, lets point out that it shouldn't just be a dream to not go hungry.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterILoveMNStateFair

This is gold. There's a lot going on here, I really want to know the backstory.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOakley Rhodes

Gosh, people really don't double check their work, do they? They put all this time and energy making the darn cake then they scribble out some words on top without a second glance... And the arbitrary quotation marks make me "nuts"!

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkate

"I'm Michael Jackson and I approved this cake."

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichael Jackson

The truly intrepid will want to compare this cake with the deadly quiet center of "Running Scared."

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterR J Keefe

Obviously it's for some sort of children's charity, food bank, soup kitchen, something that feeds kids. But still! Just put kids on the cake! Not creepy-Jesus-looking pervs!!

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

Whoa. Just... whoa.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteraleighsmith

Is the writing a reference to that Bob Marley song "Them Belly Full"? But that still would not explain the imagery.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBryan Bowden

Beards are not meant for cakes.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersolanah

Cue dueling banjos.

Ekk!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLa

'than' is misspelled, too.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermichael

Despite its faults I rather like this one.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfairyhedgehog

I think the two "kids" by the tree are supposed to be apple cores (with faces)?

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLW

I assumed this was for one of those freaky jesus people families who have like a million kids.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterberdawn

*shudders* Almost like there should be 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink' piped somewhere on there, too.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSleepwalker

I discovered this yesterday and since my job involves sitting in front of a computer with nothing to do all day, I read all the way back to the first entry.

Best.
Blog.
Ever.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

oh, and about the cake. I think the only plausible explanation is cannibalism. Or perhaps its for the Special Victims Unit?

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

YIKES! Yes, call CPS.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhooper

Let them eat cake!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarie Antoinette

I don't know if this is the case but being "full" is also Australian slang for being pregnant, so it *could* still be a baby shower cake...? Maybe the scruffy fellow compensated for lack of ability and adopted all the kids...?

Right, I don't know. *shakes head and wanders away*

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Melville

Oh look, Charles Manson is having a picnic!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Ewwwwww. Very weirded out Jesus-hippie guy with his arms around two (unsuspecting)children, plus other children (looking like apple cores as another reader pointed out) leaning against trees - or are they mushrooms with green tops?

This is wrong on soooooo many levels!!!!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

The kid by the tree looks like he's holding the head of the other kid. "Alas, poor Yorick..."

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

ok----new take....that's not a beard it's a REALLY BIG SMILE on the face of the mom who is glad that she is pregnant again by another baby daddy....single mom times 6 kiddos...big bucks with foodstamps and welfare!!! WOOHOO!! and someone need to take the grass tip away from the decorator...it's not meant for trees!!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterK2

I just read through every post on the site, and a lot of the comments... and I just want to say THANK YOU for the best laugh I've had in a long, long time.

"It a gril" had me in tears.

THANK YOU!!!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervicki-b

Oh my! I love your site! This is crazy though, everything you just mentioned. It's like they're trying to say that their care workers/foster parents/whomever are a bunch of hippie pedophiles!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRonnica

You know, my first thought of the guy wasn't pervert, but it was the "Buddy Christ" from Dogma. Does anyone else remember that movie?

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

Ok, I'm seriously not trying to offend anyone's choices here, but I thought maybe this was a shower cake for the "Quiver Full" movement folks when I read it...and then I couldn't figure out how a man with a beard played in, unless he was the dad and maybe it was a dad shower...

I think this is a good example of if your cake needs a lot of explanation, it is probably not a good cake. PROBABLY.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachael M.

Maybe this cake is for the man who gave birth a couple of weeks ago...?

And LMAO at Michael Jackson!

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Alender

DOGMA!!!! Awesome movie - this guy is, alas, even creepier than Buddy Christ.....

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

I suspect that whoever made this cake had a whole different mindset about the message he/she wanted to deliver but isn't it fun to take it and make it totally nasty.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergiz

Go ahead and call CPS on a cake. It will give them something productive to do.

BTW, you are petty.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLK

I anyone else concerned about the obvious red "devil horns" that the two L's in "belly" make on top of the creepy guys head??

Just wonderin'.

July 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

shocking! call CPS!
What IS the story behind this one?

July 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Uh, I thougt it might be made for starving children in some thirdworld country,

July 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lk; Why, of course we will. Because of course there is no such thing as, you know, a "joke".

BTW, you are obtuse.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Soo glad someone made a reference to Marie Antoinette. That is the first thought that came to mind when I saw this cake

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Caption Contest:

[Jesus Man, speaking to children on log]: "Play your cards right, kids, and you won't end up skinned and looking like an apple core, such as the conjoined-at-the-neck Sherman twins over there. Billy, stop rolling on my new lime green shag carpet!"

August 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermaxflash

"Dang, I'm not very good at making human hair out of icing -- wait, hats! I'll put them all in hats!"

August 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthisbagisnotatoy

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