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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep292008

Going to the Dogs

For some reason canine cakes seem to be all the rage these days, particularly in grocery-store bakeries. Now, I don't want to get down on these decorators too much, considering that a) they are usually over-worked and under-trained, and b) they outnumber me significantly. That said, you'd think that whoever was in charge of this kind of thing would have known that these doggy designs were a little, shall we say, beyond this group's collective skill set?

For example, here's the picture you order from:

And here's what you get:


Niiice. See, you can tell it's the exact same cake you ordered, 'cuz it has that red loopy bow sticking out of its head. I particularly like the oozing eye. Plus, that red "collar" looks a lot more like a gushing cranial wound - ditto for the "tongue".

I guess this one's a little better:


But it still looks more like a dirty mop-head with a face drawn on than a dog. Where are the legs? The ears? The neck? Also, if you're going to have a cake like this, why oh why would you stick candles in the poor pooch's back? He looks like he's been the target of sky-diving archers.

Also in vogue are the tiny cupcake pups, ala Miss Love-You-1.000-Time. These are already wrecktastic in concept, given that there are only 2 cupcakes underneath the deluge of frosting, but the execution just makes 'em that much better. Check back tomorrow for those; this post is officially "to be continued"!

Many thanks to Fawn R. & Monique R. for submitting the "dogs".

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Reader Comments (82)

So before I finished reading and scrolled down, I thought the order form pooch was the wreck!

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlexa B.

I loooove the site..but today I am a little disappointed! I am a little skeptical that the first wreck really was ordered from that first poochy..the tag? on the cake says something bear! Plus the claws look a little bearish. what do you think?

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think all three of them are pretty bad. The model isn't bad, but not something I'd want to hack into. The other two are just awful.

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

After the first photo, I was afraid to scroll down. Actually hesitated. Then I remembered: I have a good strong drink at hand.
(whew.)

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterquinn

Yes, the tag does say "Moma Bear", but that doesn't look like any bear I ever saw, any more than it looks like a dog. And I agree, eating a good or bad rendition of a dog doesn't seem appetizing to me. Wreck in concept and execution.
I don't get anonymous @ 5:30, "disappointment" seems unwarranted. Those cakes are wrecks regardless of what the "model" was.

Thanks, Jen, for the daily dose of humor!

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Shouldn't that read, "Yappy Birthday?"

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

I think Tammy Faye Baker has been reincarnated as a Cake Wreck.

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

lmao

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

Serving and eating dogs reminds me of the Bleeding Armadillo Cake in Steel Magnolias :)

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertanaudel

That first wreck - what's up with the cutesy cartoon eyes? I think Guy #1 should have taken a leaf outta Guy #2's book and just done little black blobs for eyes.

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

Ahhhhh! Those pup-cakes are fugly! That being said, I'll take the piece under the tail. I hear it's chocolate. ;)

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiz Dinah

I'm kind of against the idea of cake being too realistic looking in the first place, which is why a semi-realistic dog does not appeal to me.

But what gets me laughing is that the first "replica" was actually given to someone. Like, the person who ordered saw the original and they were expecting... not a pile of frosting oozing out of every conceivable shape... yikes. And what would the conversation have been like?

"Yeah, I know you ordered this out of the picture book, but this is what it's really supposed to look like."

Wow. Yet another fantastic entry!

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRob

amazing what the orders translate into.. you're very funny, you make me laugh everytime!

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAdil

I am aware that I am a horrible, horrible person, but my first thought when I saw that first dog wreck was "Did someone throw up on the plate?" And now I have images from "A Child Called It" in my head. Thanks a lot.

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Aww poor doggies never had a chance, talk about aiming too high! How are you meant to make strands of dog hair out of icing?? This should only be attempted by black-belt bakers.

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPixel

Wow, these are just plain freaky! There isn't much cake I would turn down, but I'd have to draw the line here.

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Attitude

EEEEWwwwwwwww! That's just creepy. I don't think I would be caught taking a bite of fido. What a horrible job they did too. Ugh. Great blog, I can't stop laughing at the oozing brain comment.

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerie

I just had to come back and take a look at that first one again.

I admire the way the decorator tried to capture the reality of the eyes with those two white dots. That was very conscientious!

Kat

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

CAN'T! STOP! LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaryn

I don't know if this has already been said, but the "professional" one looks moldy. GREEN whisker spots? More like mold on refried beans.

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrookie bebe

OK, that made me laugh out loud. I'm thinking it belongs in favorites.

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindaBudz

I can't be the only one that thinks the second wreck strongly resembles Stephen King's rabid Cujo. Scary stuff...

October 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJayne Neverow

that is just so horrendous! Last Easter my uncle got a cake that was supposed to say Happy Easter ...but it came out Happy Eastes.

October 1, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter...love Maegan

Oh dear. I hope they didn't have to pay!
Cheers

October 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

The top one looks like one of those very bad fuzzy dog houseslippers they came out with several years ago.

Funny stuff here - please continue. ANd if I have a disaster of my own I'll send you a pic ;-

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterniagaragirl

OMG - I got this cake for my daughter's 10th birthday. It looked NOTHING like the picture in the book. It was horrible. And mostly frosting and no cake. She loved it though.

Denise

January 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenise

That first cake looks like the dog in The Fly II that got turned inside out... The second one looks as if it's recently been on fire!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMina

I can't imagine why a grocery store would use a picture of a cake that even a well-trained, experienced baker would have trouble duplicating. On the other hand, I don't know why anyone would order this cake from a grocery store (or ANY cake from a grocery store) and expect it to look like the picture.

June 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMax

One time my Grandmother bought me & my sister an adorable dog cake. It was cute, but once we ate it, it turned out to be made mostly of a mini-pound cake and flavorless icing. It was delicious .

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

LMAO.. ok those cakes are bad.. but i make those cakes all the time at weis they never look like those bottom examples.. lol they can be really cute.. I ask them what type of dog they want lol.

March 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShay Neary

Woof. Woof. Not sure that thing could even make a dog sound...lol xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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