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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep082008

I Think I've Just Been Punk'd

If you guys thought the first wedding disaster cake was bad, hold on to your pantaloons.

Alright, let's set the scene: here's what the bride asked for, only in all white with minor green accents.

Now, I would tell you to take a moment to prepare yourselves for the horror you're about to witness, but frankly no amount of time would be adequate. So just go ahead and scroll down now.


I'll give you a moment.

[whistling]

Back in your seat now? Good. Because believe it or not, there's more. Aw yeah.

1) The top tier still had the Springform pan under it.

2) The cake "base" is a metal sign.

3) I swear I am not making this up.

Ok, so the bottom levels are covered with a fondant lumpier than the Bearded Lady's thighs, and the top tier is the wrong shape and isn't even iced completely. I see all that, and yet you know what the funniest bit to me is? Those green lines up the sides, which I can only assume are attempts at "ribbons": not only are they as unlike ribbons as icing can possibly get, but they don't even line up! Somehow that last bit of lunacy just sends me over the edge.

(This post is also the first in a new category: Missed Marks. Because nothing is quite so wrecktastic as when you see what it was supposed to look like.)

Now like you, I'm sure, I was highly skeptical about this being a "professional" cake. However, the e-mail came from the bride herself, and she seemed outraged enough to be telling the truth. (Yes, a replacement cake was procured at the eleventh hour.) I can only assume the icing and generic tips in the photo were purchased to try and "fix" the cake after it was picked up. In fact, Vicky C., if you're reading this, you might want to chime in on the Comments section now, just to back me up here.

[crickets chirping]

Vicky? Er, Vicky, c'mon now, this isn't funny.

[crickets still chirping]

Seriously, Vicky: tell the people I'm telling the truth. Vicky? Er...Vicky?

Vicky?!?

UPDATE: YES!! Vicky the bride has spoken!!! Check the Comments section for her assurances of this cake's validity. (You'll have to scroll waaaay down; you guys are certainly letting your voices be heard on this one, aren't you?)

« The Painted Cake Cometh | Main | Fan Wrecks »

Reader Comments (274)

OPTIMOM: the photographer of this cake responded a few comments above you and here is what their photographer wrote about why there were mini marshmallows and the use of the tips in the picture :

Let me start off by saying that this cake is indeed real and not a hoax of any sort. How do I know you may ask? Well, I was present when this cake was brought to Vicky's in-laws home. Further more, I was the one who took the photograph of the aforementioned "wreck". The top tier was actually round as it is pictured and not some botched attempt at a tier replacement. When the cake arrived the top tier had begun to slide off to one side of the cake, due to the less than level second tier. Thus the top tier was removed in an attempt to "realign" the three tiers and hopefully save the cake..structurally speaking of course. Upon doing so we discovered the spring-form pan contained within the tier, which was completely encased in icing. As such, the top tier was gently positioned closer to the center of the second tier. Imagine if you will the top tier to the right most extreme of the second tier, and you will have a fair representation of the cake upon arrival. At this point we had given up all hope of "saving" this monstrosity. The butter cream icing in the bag you see was our attempt to try and match the wondrous shade of green we were presented with. However, with a lack of professional decorating supplies at hand, we were forced to "make due" with what we had, so to speak. And as for the mini-marshmallows, they were indeed intended for leveling the bottom tiers, but thank god it never came to that. On another note, the mini-marshmallows actually tasted quite good. Did I mention this was the cakes "good" side?

February 19, 2009 | Garrett (photographer)

January 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Honestly, the inspiration cake didn't look THAT hard! Just 3 square tiers,some fondant,bead border piping,and a ribbon. The actual received cake looks HORRENDOUS!

January 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you want a job done right do it yourself. I didn't think i was that good but I hope I'm better than this. This instills confidence in me...

January 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

I am 13 and i make better cakes. how on earth...

February 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Just stumbled onto this page today and we've been peeing ourselves all morning. This looks like something the Farmer in Shaun the Sheep baked for his niece.

February 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonutboy

A lot of people say they would sue the baker? I wouldn't think that is even possible.....people are so sue happy!

February 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi Heith

Bottom line: you get what you pay for. If you want a professionally-made cake, you visit the shop of a professional, sample their work, and order based on their portfolio. (And this from a non-professional, at-home baker w/a hobby business who knows her limitations, which is why I do NOT do wedding cakes. Ever. Even though I dare say I would've come much closer to the original than the perpetrator of this mess.) It seems to me the fault is shared by the baker AND by those who tried to save money by going w/someone from the family who had no portfolio.

February 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Definately a home made project, if it's 100% legit. It's not something a bakery (even the worst ones) would ever put their name on.

February 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterK

It's not always a case of you get what you pay for! I know a "professional" baker who's decorating skills are less than great (plus I heard of complaints that her cakes are very dry and lack flavor) yet she charges $2.50/serving, which in our area is about right. Also another "professional" baker who's facebook page claims she is a bakery (she is not she bakes out of her home like most of us), who had (past tense) beautiful pics on her page, with comments about her gorgeous work & description of pics implying she made the cakes, UNTIL a post by a real bakery as to why their pics were on her page without their permission and their watermark had been removed. Suddenly her albums were emptied and what was left was a real representation of her work-hmmmm there was a reason she had someone else's pics there! Unfortunately people misrepresent themselves allllll the time!

February 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterb.

Who says a professional cake can't be done in a home bakery? I have been doing just that and would never attempt to pass someone's work off as my own nor would I ever give a bride a cake like that. If you pay attention to this site a lot of those wrecks have been done at store front bakeries. This is just plain sad!!! that poor bride.

February 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

OK, I think the Blind SHOULD be self-supporting whenever possible; it builds self-esteem, but...

February 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJersey Girl

It never ceases to amaze me the number of women who act as though the world will end if their wedding isn't perfect,
I mean, this is a truly horrible cake but having a perfect wedding doesn't affect the quality of the marriage or vice versa. It's one single day of your life, one you preferably should enjoy rather than stressing over petty stuff.

March 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbarbara

Oh my I am actually in shock at the disgrace of this cake. I am a cake baker and decorator AND i work in my own home kitchen (local authority registered) I would not let anything like this through my door. I do wedding cakes and take pride in my work. How any self respecting cake baker and decorator can call this a success and expect to be paid for it is beyond me! Glad the bride was able to source another cake at short notice.

March 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

So the marshmellows are there because that's what the poor thing mad the fondant out of. They must have truly been blind to come up with that randition of wedding cake lol

April 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna F

This is obviously a fake. you can see the green icing in a bag on the right, and marshmallows in the back!

May 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnanymous

I just started making wedding cakes out of my home and if this was the monstrosity that i ended up with after making her cake... I wouldn't have let ANYONE see it let alone pick it up... I would have forkef over whatever money i was paid to buy one myself to make up for it... This is absolutely aweful how could ANYONE call themselves a professional cakemaker when THIS is their outcome???? I make sure my clients KNOW im not a professional and i put everything into each cake i make.... Because i actually care about what my cakes look like. The bride should absolutely sue this woman.......

May 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersusan

All the people calling fake on this one, I have to disagree. I taught some cake decorating classes and there really are people that can't draw a straight line even after lots of practice. Zero talent for decorating. But none of them decided to go into business making cakes for others ( I hope!)

June 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShanna

I think the marshmellows were for MMF, in response to who puts that on a wedding cake..me but I didn't make that heartbreaker the green icing smears, if the top tier was a springform pan where did the crumbs in the icing come from?!

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranggelic confections

I'm sorry, but there is no way I believe this is a professional cake! I can't believe this is even a cake decorator who works from home. I think you should require folks to submit their receipt for the cake...even then there will be people who fake it just for kicks.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

The mini marshmallows are to make fondant

July 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBatterUpCake

My guess is she used the mini marshmallows to make marshmallow fondant. That's the only explanation I can think of. This is the most terrible thing I have ever seen. You have to have some artistic talent to make cakes...this poor person apparently doesn't even have an ounce :-/

August 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

My lord, it is AMAZING how many people chime in without reading any of the other comments.

March 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterComicBookGoddess

One word... nicely-ish placed barf. Also, how is the fondant sooooooo lumpy? Tote-magohts gross.(that is what the youngsters call texting) ;)

April 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Marriage or DEATH? That explains the drippy green stuff.

April 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

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