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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Sep092008

The Painted Cake Cometh


This cake is absolutely stunning - kind of like a sharp blow to the head. I know that I was forced to stare in stunned silence for a moment when I first saw it: the thought of eating that much Pepto-colored paint put me in cerebral lock down.

Still, if ever a herd of curly teal amoebas were to migrate across a shockingly pink desert, I imagine it would look something like this. (They even sent the little ones on ahead, see?) And I'm sure it can't be easy to get something edible to look so glossily non-edible, so props where they're due and all that.

But the plastic grad caps - why? No, seriously, for the love of all things cakey, why?

And I'm not going to even mention the spacing, except to say that someone should be staying after class again.

Hey, while your retinas are still smarting, check this action out:

Now, I don't know if it's because orange is my favorite color, or because those giant pillow-y swirls look so softly smooshable, but all I can think about when I look at this is how much I'd like to attack this bad boy face-first, T-Rex style. RawrMmmmmmmm.

Yep, nothing brings out the carnivore in me quite like sugary baked goods. (Oh, wait...)

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Reader Comments (85)

I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The orange cake comment is toooo funny!!!

Thanks so much for providing me a good laugh everyday!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*~ Jane ~*

Ok, so maybe Im just a pervert but am I the only one that right off the bat thought "why is there a weiner on that cake"? I had to look for a few seconds before it clicked that it actually class

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! A Tang cake! You shouldn't have. Especially those Tang sprinkles on top...

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercaradea

Someone mentioned peeps for the second cake. That'what I thought, except I thought more of microwaved peeps! (Have you ever seem them fluff up in the microwave?) mmm...

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBianca

I shouldn't comment twice, but this suddenly reminded me of a birthday cake I had when I was maybe 4 or 5. One of the few things I remember about that party is the weird and kind of bitter taste some of the frosting had, and I think it was the darker-colored frosting (dark purple maybe?) that was bitter, as if they'd had to add so much color that it overwhelmed the frosting. I think that's one reason I don't go in for really vivid food colors like these. Even though food coloring is probably better tasting now than in 1971 or whenever that was.

One of the few cakes I've tried to "decorate" was a pro cake from an AWESOME bakery, and wasn't really the right kind for icing decoration. So I stuck little plastic graduation-cap-shaped picks in it and called it good. (And it WAS.) So I don't have a problem with the plastic hats on this cake. I think they're cute, but even if you hate them, they're the least of its problems, no? The cheesy gold paper stickers on them are worse than the caps themselves, actually.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

I wonder if the frosting on the first cake was also *flavored* like Pepto Bismol.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

yummm cheeto cake!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Very funny blog!! I voted for you. I do a blog about traveling the USA in a truck and wondered what do I have to do to become a blog of note. I looked a several and kept saying "mines better than this one". Then I stumbled upon yours and Kudo's to you very funny and well done.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDougster

The second one reminds me of a creamsicle....and now I really want one...thanks. :P

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura/Notepad

I kind of like the orange one...

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthenewsarahsundae

hey, where did my comment go? all i said was the orange hurt my eyes.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

The pepto cake cracks me up! I love how they weren't sure how to spell Kathryn. The afterthought of the n looks more like... Congratulations Kathry...n?

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAsTiMa

See, now, I would T-Rex that orange cake to save others from having to look at it!

We're such givers!

Rawrmmmmph, indeed!!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

The 'amoebas' look like the mutant offspring of that green gloopy stuff with raisins that crawled off John Cusack's plate when he prodded it with a spoon in Better Off Dead.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

LOVE your blog.

That orange cake looks delicious!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValerie Phoenixfire

Vivid Cakes(tm)... now with twice your daily allowance of Pink, Green and Orange!!!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReo

Ha! The orange cake matches my living room!

No lie - my living room is retina-burning orange. I think that's what the paint can called it anyway ...

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

The orange one is very hard "on" my eyes, but I would "still eat" it. ;-)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

I think I figured out why this cake is so horrible to look out. The pink is the exact colour negative of the green! Use a photo editing program to "Negative Image" and the colour just swap around. How head wreaking is that?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwhizz

I work at a Wal-Mart, and even before I discovered this blog (or worked there) I liked to cruise by the bakery on occasion and see if they'd whipped up anything interesting. Now that I check this blog every night when I get home from work at o'dark-hundred, I also check the bakery on an almost nightly basis. Nothing good so far, unless you count the small cupcake-cake with a bold green swirly mass of icing, decorated with... little plastic hot dogs and hamburgers. Like a Tiny Plastic Sword for drinks, but... hamburgers and hot dogs, on a green cupcake-cake. I took a shot with my phone but the quality sucks.

I don't get it, either, but it was funny.

Oh, and the orange cake looks DELICIOUS. Just be glad it's (probably) not a lemon cake, or your eyes WOULD be bleeding. God, can you imagine that cake in Eyeball-Vibrating Neon Yellow?

~JetpackAngel

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJetpackAngel

F.Y.I. Jamie Glass is the little brother of George Glass (Jan Brady's "Boyfriend") And for what it's worth the orange cake, however hard to look at, makes me hungry for fluffy frosting like that. yummmm.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

WOW....

(i got nothing)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

I think the first cake must be for members of the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority who are not known for their holding back. I recognized those colors immediately, because my senior year of college I moved into a recently vacated AKA house and EVERY room was in those colors. It had a pink toilet!!!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanine

Orange is my favourite colour, too! But trying to read what's on that cake is so painful to me.

"Pepto pink and green turds" is a very apt description of the Glass of 2008 cake. That one is making my throat and stomach hurt.

P.S. I LOVE the blog. It's extremely hilarious!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYénifer

except for the plastic hats (mad crazy), this cake was just my style. very retro, it kind of bespeaks the golden age plastic and aqua teal.

i wish i would have got a shot of my brother's graduation cake. when he was little he would say, "i'm serious, i'm a near genius!" so we had, "reuben is a near genius" emblazoned across the top of his costco cake. only my mother ordered it and it came out "reuben is a near genisus." i had to smash it a little before it was served to make it look like a sad accident.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermavis

The first one looks like one of the teletubbies had the runs...

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my first thought.....the little singing slugs from the movie "flushed away"......toooooo funny!! Jen you really make my day!!

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterK2

I happen to love the orange cake as well, particularly as it is displayed against such a lovely complimentary shade of blue.

I'm serious, I kind of love it.

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

I looks like the Sta-Puft Marshmallow peep!!!

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhalfgk

Am I the only one who thinks the first one looks fine? Not a cake wreck at all in my book.

Pink = Strawberry, not Pepto, IMO.

September 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The orange monstrosity? It's a Kraft Mac N Cheese cake - lookit it. Betcha the curls on the top represent the macaronis, and the sprinkled stuff on the top is the cheese...

Alli

September 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lately I've seen cupcakes that claim to be flavored like Hawaiian Punch, Sunkist and 7Up (I haven't gotten up the nerve to try any, though!) I wonder if that orange cake is a full-sized version of the Sunkist cupcakes?

September 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbionelly

... I meant, IT (the yellow cake at the end) looks like the Sta-Puft Marshmallow peep!!

September 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhalfgk

Yuk! Pepto-bismol! the worst medicine ever, the orange cake however, is the most appetizing Cake I have ever seen on this site,
YumYum!

September 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'd never wish to
be color-blind, but cake-blind
wouldn't be so bad.

January 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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