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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan142009

Introducing a Good Sport

A select few of you have virtually met Anne-Marie, my Wrecksistant-Extraordinaire. Since I technically still have a "day job", she helps me and John with comment moderation and handles the bulk of the e-mailed submissions, in addition to having a full-time job of her own. Anne-Marie is one of those rare individuals who is hysterically funny both in writing AND in person, which I know first-hand 'cuz she's also my sister-in-law. (Yeah, I'm lucky like that.)

I realized recently that I was greatly under utilizing Anne-Marie's powers for good when she reduced me to helpless giggles with an e-mail extolling the virtues of actually turning the oven ON when cooking a Christmas ham. It was then that I knew hers was a talent that must be shared. So, without further ado, I give you: Anne-Marie! Take it, Ree!

With the college football Bowl Championship Series behind us, and the Super Bowl looming ahead, the nation's bakeries are hard at work, providing us with an overabundance of sporty buttercreaminess.

Clancy R. shows us what happens when bakers with too much time on their hands play a game of Wreckerator Pictionary...

Sheldon: "It's a Dutch Oven!"

Walter: "No, you guys... wait, lemme write something on it..."

The other team: "Whoa! You can't write anything - just draw!"

Walter: "Too late... any guesses?"

Sheldon: "Uhh, a Dutch Oven full of sugar?"

Walter: [facepalm]

Amy G. found this gem:

Quick!

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the Oklahoma
Sooners?

Time's up!

How many of you thought of a disembodied torso in a full-coverage 42 DD Playtex Eighteen-Hour Bra?

Nobody?

And finally, the Steelers were playing the day this was made, hence the black and yellow:


It is supposed to be read as “Go D-fence” (as in ‘go defense’ – see the little fence after it?), but to me and alert Wreckporter Noelle C, it says only one thing:

The Almighty is a Steelers fan.


Many thanks to Anne-Marie for pulling up the slack in the sports arena here on Wrecks. (Yep, she actually had to
tell me it was football season.) Y'all be nice to her, now, or else your e-mails just may never see the light of day.

(Just kidding.)

(No, I'm not.)

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Reader Comments (137)

I love how the belly button looks like they pushed their finger into the icing.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChar

God a Steelers fan? Actually She is a Cowboys Fan ;) (yeah we had a bad year, what`s your point?? :) )

ROTFLMAO at the Sugar Bowl

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

Gotta say.. Jen's commentary and stuff is more amusing than Anne-Marie's. XD *hits the deck incase she's booed*

And those cakes are bad.. but what really disturbs me is that ear-like "belly button" in the stomach of that OK Sooner's cake.. WTF.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterspyderpenguin

Awesome, Anne-Marie!

I agree with someone else - it's probably supposed to be a cheerleader. (Though the college cheerleaders I've seen aren't that busty, probably because skinny, athletic, and light go better with the kind of acrobatics college cheerleaders do.)

I may have to differ on the Almighty's football team. Strictly in an academic sense, though - I don't care about pro football at all. But it has been said that the reason why Texas Stadium has a hole in the roof is so that God can watch his team play.

That joke probably says more about Texans than about God, actually.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Footballs with sugar.

mmkay.

And a great big blank open space in the middle.

Doesn't anyone use stencils anymore, if it's determined they can't freehand things decently?

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Kinda thought the belly button looks line an ear.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Ummm. yeah. Go D Fence!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrystal

You know, some of these pics make me glad I gifted my daughter with my entire decorating set---for FEAR of producing such wrecks!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLabrys

I was just about to post the link to that news article about the kids! Unbelievable.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay

Great job bringing sport to the cake masses. I am a huge Eagles fan and got a huge kick of the wreck you guys posted of the split Eeyore/Eagles cake. That is usually how I feel about the team, but not this year, oh no! We are going to the big game! Hopefully... If the Eagles lose next week, I would be tickled to see the cake reposted as a love song to all us fans. Headline: When you remember to take your Prozac half way through decorating your cake.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOxen Cox

I get the idea behind the Sugar Bowl cake, but its execution leaves much to be desired.

And while I got what the D-FENCE cake was saying (huge football fan here), I also read it as Yo, D at first. Plus, I have to say that the D-fence trickery is not unique to Pittsburgh. Practically every team in the NFL (and some in college) have fans who bring their Ds and fence pieces into the stadium for their "DEFENSE" cheers.

I have no idea what Oklahoma and the Sooners have to do with beheaded girls in bikinis, though. That's a head scratcher for sure.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterB^2

I seriously was going God Fence? what the heck does that mean...and I'm a football fan, well High School Football. Anyway I think I'm going to start Wreckerator Pictionary night at my house!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

And here I was trying to figure out the last cake .... and than I saw the explaination .

What are the things hanging from the torsos boobs supposed to be?

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

Of course God is a Steelers fan!! Loved it!

Sarah

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersarah

Too, too funny! This is the only blog I check DAILY....I love the humour! Thanks "Cake Wrecks" for making my day again and again!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Football wrecks?

We will, we will WRECK YOU!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksalde

Totally with Cara on this!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershahinrani

sporty buttercreaminess? HA!HA!

I don't get the torso cake...really strange...like N.starluna said, how do you offer it to someone?

And the last...totally read God at first...didn't even see the fence...

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

I realized recently that I was greatly under utilizing Anne-Marie's powers for good when she reduced me to helpless giggles with an e-mail extolling the virtues of actually turning the oven ON when cooking a Christmas ham.
---
Ah, adventures in cooking ham for Chirstmas. Reminds me of the year that my mom and I puzzled over how many "layers" to peel off the ham before sticking it in the oven. There was an obvious paper wrapping, then a plastic wrap...then we weren't sure if we hit skin or another covering that should be removed before cooking. We didn't cook much ham in our household.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKPP

I've traveled here before, and stand in awe and amazement that there are that many troubled cake decorators out there, that you could dedicate an entire well-followed blog to it! Funny.
ou ou steelers! (huh?)

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Great job Anne-Marie! I enjoyed the cakewrecker pictionary suggestion :)

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrudi

Anybody that watched Superbowl XL and is a Seahawks fan will know that God is a Steelers fan. Thus cake #3 rests that case.

Cake 2, did the decorator was his/her hand before using their finger to make the bellybutton? Or is that lint I see in there?

Mmmm....lint!!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter1rx4fn

This is completely unrelated to these cakes, but I just read something that I think you will be interested in.

"HOLLAND TOWNSHIP, N.J. - Three New Jersey siblings whose names have Nazi connotations have been placed in the custody of the state, police said Wednesday.

Holland Township Police Sgt. John Harris said workers from the state Division of Youth and Family Services removed 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, from their home Tuesday."

That's right, the crazy parents who named their kids Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation lost custody of them. You can read it for yourself here:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28655143/?GT1=43001

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlonde Savant

Thank you KT for the update on the little boy named Hitler. Much appreciated. This link might take people more directly to the story as it took me awhile to get there with the link you gave. Cheers!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2009/01/13/2009-01-13_report_child_named_adolf_hitler_removed_.html

Word verification - Roeinvu : what the mother told the child in his new paddle boat

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

When I saw the Steelers cake, my first thought was, "G [oversized period] D".

To steal a line from an old but rare movie, I wonder if they mean Golddiger -- or that other well-known word.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTed S. (Just a Cineast)

Well, didn't everyone already know that about the Almighty?

(lol)

Everyone here in Pittsburgh does!

Great job, Anne-Marie! Keep up the good work!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Great writing, Anne-Marie!

I actually really appreciate the Sooners cake. Clearly this is a new mother. See the wrinkly tummy on her? I have a 3-year-old and a 9-month old, and for a minute I thought I was looking at my stomach. And of course, the breasts, which are clearly engorged with nature's perfect food, breastmilk.

It's really a touching cake. I'm crying a little bit as I meditate on the beauty of motherhood.

Beth (I blog http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">here and http://cbethblog.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">here.)

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC. Beth

I'm just surprised that boobalicious torso was sitting out for all to see along with normal cakes for a kids birthday. Funny. I can see it now...

"Mom, what's that?"

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

Welcome, Anne-Marie. I think we all love you already!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for the explanation on cake 3, because I couldn't figure out what Godfence meant (guess I'm just a wee bit too literal). The torso thing...just weird. Welcome Anne-Marie, and well done! Wreckage humor makes my day much more livable.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterredraven

Way to go, Anne Marie!

I just forwarded the link to spouse, as his boss is a by-God-Almighty Steelers fan. I'm sure the big guy will heartily agree that God is on their side.

As for the Sooners cake ... no, I'm not going there.

Word verification: Fursock. It's finally cold enough down here that I can wear my fursock.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

I was a bit confused by the torso cake (and glad that I didn't have a mouthful of coffee as I was scrolling down)...I suppose Sooner fans lactate, too...

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchristina

YAY for Anne Marie!! I loved it too!

Sooners? I'm not a big football fan (shame on me, I know) but what SHOULD it be? Even with the right team name on there, I'm not sure it could be saved from damnation with that torso representing it.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMadWoman

As we Pittsburghers say:

Our Father,
Who art in Pittsburgh,
Football be thy game.
Thy kingdom come,
Five Super Bowls won,
On Earth as it is in Heinz Field.
Give us this day a playoff Victory,
And forgive us our penalties,
As we defeat those who play against us.
But lead us on to victory,
And deliver us on to Tampa!
For thine is the offense,
And the defense,
And the special teams,
Forever.
A-Ben.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I remember you posting about the Adolf Hilter cake... well here is a link about the children are being taken away... thought you might like to follow up the story...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28655143/?GT1=43001

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLoves Nerds

3 cheers for Anne-Marie. I will agree that the Almighty is a football fan, although I'm more inclined to think he roots for the Redskins. Just sayin.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Yay, Anne Marie! Very Wrecky...

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWomen on the Verge

Good job Anne-Marie.

However, seeing as I'm a huuuuge Ravens fan, I guess that makes me a Satanist? We'll see come Sunday. Either way, both teams did the AFC North proud. So good luck to fans on both sides :)

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlish

Ah! I just *know* that OU cake was going to be a baby shower cake until someone got the memo, "Pregnant Torso = Wreck." Rather than waste the cake, they knocked the bump off and tried something different. Oh well. Recycling doesn't always pay.

Thanks for the fun wrecks, Anne Marie!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I read that last one as: "Go D-gate"??? I was very confused until I read the explanation!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNic

Ick...and wrecky.

Welcome Anne-Marie!


wvotd pitabugg (I kid you not): Pitabugg, the spokesman for pita wraps died today when someone inadvertently stepped on him.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

I had the misfortune of living in Cleveland when the Browns came back (they'd only been gone HOW long? Jeez, people, chill) and then moved to Indiana, a very sports-heavy state. I wonder what kind of wrecks I could find in the stores here.

Does Cake #2 mean that somewhere a company mass-produces torso cakes for grocery stores???

And I much prefer whipped icing to buttercream--I worked in a store bakery for two years and never want to see buttercream AGAIN. Also it's lighter and much less cloying.

WV: exual, which I think is the name for something leaking from a cake's breasts?

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgi

I thought that the "G" was a "Y" sooo to me it kinda looked like...
"Yo D *drawing of a fence*"
What??!! Then I read on... my blonde mind.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna!

I want to say the "GoD" cake is the worst one here...but I'm not so sure about that statement. Because...well...the bikini sooners cake is nothing but confusing. Maybe it made sense to the recipient though? Geez.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

The middle one made me think of leaking breasts. Ugh! Sad!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRed

Oh my ...

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Lol! How funny. I must say, this is a pretty neat blog you have set up here! It's SO funny to see professionals mess up... Can't wait to see more!

American Jewish Princess

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAJP

The Almighty is, indeed, a Steelers fan. That's how they managed to have so many miracle finishes this season. (But hey, a win is a win, so who's complaining right?)

Good job, Anne-Marie! I think you've given Jen a run for her money!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I thought it said Yo D

then I saw it was a G.

awesome.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercarebear8six

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