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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan162009

Big Day, Big Wrecks

By popular demand, here are a few more Inspiration vs Perspiration Wedding Wrecks. And shame on you all for finding them so funny.

What was ordered:

What was received:
(Fortunately Christine C. reports the the bride and family had a great sense of humor about this Wreck, and even dubbed it the "bamPOO" cake. Heheh.)

Ordered:
And received:

Uh, since the cake itself leaves me speechless, I'm going to comment on the background. Hey Jessica M., is that Chewbacca through the window? I mean, given the Han Solo & Leia topper, I was wondering if Chewie was the ring-bearer or something.

And lastly, ordered:
Aaaand received:

You have to wonder if that swipe was a result of the bride fainting at the sight of it, don't you? Still, I guess she should count her blessings: imagine if the wreckerator had been asked to write something on it!

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Reader Comments (210)

man, I'm scared, I'm getting ready to order my wedding cake for a destination wedding and things like this make me so paranoid! Yikes!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMariah

To everyone who complained about a bazillion people commenting on the Luke versus Han Solo topper and that they should read the comments first before commenting on it again...perhaps you should read what it says right above where you type in your comments:

All comments are reviewed before being published; please allow up to 12 hours for your comment to be posted.

I'll bet most if not all of those Luke/Han comments were in review status and so they weren't even there to be read...just a thought...

And those cakes are just bad. Those pictures would be step one for a nice little lawsuit.

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Han and Leia are standing atop the Death Star!!!!!!!! I think Chewie should buy the bride and groom a drink or two or ten; perhaps the cake will look better then.

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMystic

I would just like to say that I lived in a small town and our piddlysquat little grocery store had a fabulous decorator who made the most beautiful cakes...and my own wedding cake was made by a different small-town home based decorator and was absolutely lovely and exactly what we asked for - so it CAN happen...it just doesn't happen here!

And on the Han and Leia (thud thud on the dead horse) cake..are those...MILK DUDS??? on there? Yuck!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

This are the best posts, and the reason why I love this blog so. Keep it up!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I just have to wonder: Aren't these brides looking at samples of what the decorator can do before they order? I mean, that is some staggeringly terrible work there. I'd think it would show in the portfolio.

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLibbie

Vicki wrote :Mother of God. Okay, seriously, decorators. You cannot pipe buttercream frosting and have it look the same as rolled fondant or royal icing decorations. You can't. You can't you can't you can't stop trying. Lordy... how do these poor women find these bakers??

Correction Vicki - You can't make buttercream look like fondant but you absolutely CAN make buttercream look like royal. ( and Visa versa - royal to look like buttercream) You can! You can! You can!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

This right here is why I want a plain white cake. No piping, no letters, no swirlies and no STRIPES!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Rodgers

I think that last one looks intentional. Reminds me too much of the "Braveheart" plaid wedding cake where the baker was drunk or something. (I know that one well because it makes me laugh no matter how many times I look at it.)

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkingsqueen

Rochelle
What the heck were they thinking? How does one walk into the reception hall holding any of these?
Makes me want to work so so hard at my cakes!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Cake Lady

I think the slice was taken out of that last one before the obligatory photograph just to show that yes, it truly was edible.

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Oh dear. Really, what else can one say except that?

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the first bamboo cake, or are those bones? and that teal green? and those mildew color flower? was not so hot to start with, before I realized you were doing a before/after post, I thought it was a rather ugly wreck. I actually prefer the purple flowers.

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZhoen

This cake looks like the world's largest club sandwich.........with FROSTING!!!!!!

That is a direct quote from my father upon seeing the 3rd cake in this post!!!!

I about died laughing not only because this is very funny but also because it is 100% TRUE!

Kristy from Texas

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMama_2_3boys05

Cakes are hilariously wrecky as usual but to be honest the comments section bothers the heck out of me for one reason: People don't read each other's comments. Thus, we get the Han and Leia correction (from my count so far and I'm not couting any further) 20 times between 9:26 am and 9:50am.

Can you please request that people at least *skim* the comments before commenting? I like reading the comments, as they are often funny as well, but reading the same comment over and over is really annoying.

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

Yayyy my fav type of posts.

I would love love loveeeee to hear the brides story on these cakes. Did they get their money back, what did the baker say, did it ruin the day or give them a big laugh etc.

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurntCupcake

These are my fave types. I make cakes (amateur) and I would be horrified to show up with any of those! For SHAME!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Ok, so these wrecks are driving me CRAY-ZAY!!! So what happens to these brides afterwards? Do they try to get their money back, a partial refund? Or do they just knock the table over and try to not think about the pile of poo that the baker tried to pass as a cake? Maybe you could do a post about what wrecked brides have done...

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Spaids

No no no, Chewbacca was not the ring bearer... FRODO was the ring bearer, get it right.


What?

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterquerysphinx

The last inspiration cake looks like it's covered in Froot Roll-ups. Had this been an option when I got married, I would have totally gone for it.

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGooberfishbowl

WHOA, NELLIE!!! Is the wreckerator from the "plaid" wedding cake still working? She wasn't burned at the stake?

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

OK, I'll ashamedly admit there was a time in my life where I would have been geeky enough to want that Han/Leia topper. But even then, minus the smeary brown smudges and completely off-plumb stacking job!

I think these Missed Marks posts have got to be my favorites. Keep 'em coming!

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSleepwalker

OMG! Thank you for making me laugh so hard I couldn't even breathe! I love your site and can't wait for more.

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShan

D: These missed marks cakes are the worst. But the first cake the way it was supposed to look is so pretty!

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Alicia,

Lemme esplain...
No. There is too much.
Lemme sum up.

We here at Cake Wrecks have some of the most gloriously attentive readers of any site on the web. We also moderate the comments before they go up since a few people love to drop the f-bomb (I blame the Norwegians ;) and we try to run a relatively clean site.

Occasionally, when we make a boopsie with the post, everyone calls foul and you get what we had here today, er, yesterday. It went something like this...

9:35 Post goes up.
10:05 "Oh tribble fiddlesticks, 53 comments. What did we do?!?!?"

Now in the time it took me to go through those comments, weed out those who felt it necessary to emphasize there displeasure with unpleasant f-bombs, and change the post from Luke to Han Solo, there were 22 more comments.

So a day in the life of cake wrecks. Gotta love it.

Wreck On!!!

john

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Jen, my super-sleuth color analysis is telling me that the last cake is actually decorated with left over icing from the plaid disaster you posted in a previous missed mark post. The wreckerator had some left over, and it was just the right consistancy for those zany bloopy 'lines'. Come on...when did brides get so picky?!?
~Gwen

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Alicia,
The comments aren't immediately posted when we hit the submit button. Therefore, there may be 20 comments all saying the same thing, but nobody knows it yet because they've not been published on the site. And I'm sure Jen and John don't want to leave anyone out by not posting a comment that doesn't have any foul language it in, even if it DOES say the same thing as the 15 other comments before it. :)

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

I don't think the originals were that great this time around - they were juuuust this side of ugly and difficult to execute, which makes them great bait for cake wreckers.

I would venture to say that among the first pair, the "wreck" would have been nicer than the original if it weren't for the Bam"poo" icing. The original appears to have a Kleenex box on top with tissue sticking out of it.

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEeeek!!!

Are these really made by "professionals"? Seriously?

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

I like the little poo tails coming out of cake #2.

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGraefen

That last cake - did it arrive with that 'swipe' out of it, or?

- Juliette

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJuliette

Thank goodness my cake was fine but I had it delivered (customary around here) and the only one to see it before we entered the ballroom was the catering staff. I didn't even think to check it out (glad you weren't around when I got married or I would have freaked out! The cake was the hardest part of planning our wedding as we got married 4 months after getting engaged and all the bakers were booked - must have called 20 and the only reason we got a decent one was she had a recent cancellation). Also, we paid for it upfront so it would have been difficult to get our money back but then again, I had seen one of her cakes - it was displayed at the mall in the Godiva shop.

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

I really love how 23809752386723 people felt the need to reiterate on the Star Wars misname... over.. and over.. and over.. I think she got the point :P

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTalia

Han looks like he's trying to pull Leia away from overbalancing the poop smeared tower.

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie

This is my new favorite website. I just keep laughing out loud every time I look at these pics!! I just can't believe this - it's almost like a horrible joke. Like, I can't believe that anyone would think those cakes were acceptable!

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

Omgoodness. *rolls around laughing* That is hilarious. It wouldn't have been on the big day...but afterward.*hehehe*

And the link Jen...can I just say Wow?

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEkio Locatiare

Absolutely priceless. And hey, maybe if these insufferable Star Wars nerds would READ the other posts first, they'd find something NEW and RELEVANT to point out about this post - like how that is obviously an original 70s Han Solo action figure because his gun arm is at a forty five degree angle ;)

Jonathan

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPlum

Jen,
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog! It's a daily read for me.
Suggestion: I think you'd have a rabid audience if you can publish some case studies of exactly HOW the process goes for these inspiration-to-wreck cakes happen.
Most of us just look at these and shake our heads in disbelief:
How does a decorator get it so wrong? How did the customer choose the decorator? How did decorator think that $ would be forthcoming? I like to hope that some of these customers might have the sense of civic duty (and humor!) to share with the rest of us what actually happened!
Thanks, and keep up the excellence.

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZ_gal

my son said who made that yucky cake? he's 4 and he has taste.

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterzig

please, more requested versus delivered posts. i can't get enough of them!!! i mean, really, can you imagine? oh wait, i can, it happened to me.

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara Sanders Robb

Can't even begin to imagine how pissed I'd be if I ordered something as lovely as exhibit A and ended up with exhibit B. Kudos to the bride for having a sense of humor over the bampoo cake; there's no way I'd've paid for it!

Also...that last number...it looks like those hard-tack ribbon candies you can buy at Christmas time. Apparently it's not attractive made of thick, pasty icing piled high on a cake.

And lastly...I just wanted you to know that these "inspiration vs perspiration" posts are my fave.

January 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

I second Z Gal's request for a step-by-step history of a wrecked cake. Where did you get the before picture? Whom did you ask to make it? Did they have samples that looked competent? Did they assure you they could replicate your sample?

January 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Sitting here laughing my butt off. Thanks for a very FUNNY morning!

January 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSport's Mom

Absolutely shameful! WOW! I would have lopped someone's head off!

January 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJess T

Sooooo funny! Encore!

January 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't believe you have found more fantastic wedding disasters - and yes I feel very ashamed that I find them very funny!

More please :o)

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuz

Even the flowers used in the imitations are worse!

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Wow...I definitely don't think these http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-cakes" REL="nofollow">wedding cakes were what the bride and groom ordered! I cannot imagine getting a cake like that on my wedding day...I guess it's just something you have to laugh about.

Great post, very funny!

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTimothy

Ok, so I am the bride of cake #3. I did not submit it on here, I did reviews of the vendor and someone must have thought it was funny to send it in. Fine by me but that is why I am late to commenting. So, you want to know how this happened and I feel like I need to defend myself.

First of all, this was not some redneck wedding. It was in downtown Chicago at an amazing venue and I was a meticulous planner. I took a lot of care and time planning every detail for the big day.

As most of you know, wedding planning is expensive and (sorry if I am offending anyone) the cake cost was not something I could justify. The average cost was $6.75 a slice at nice bakeries plus my venue tacked on a cake cutting fee per person. I thought it would be fun and different to have a cheesecake bar where people could pick out of 6 types of cheesecake which they wanted to dessert. (Cheesecake is our favorite, cheaper and pre-cut) For picture purposes I still wanted a cake to cut though. I was reading the paper on the way to work and there was and add for wedding cakes from the grocery store that looked amazing. I picked up a brochure at the store and checked online for reviews and it all seemed positive. All fondant and seemingly complicated cakes for less. I went there with my picture and they claimed they could make a smaller version for much less. I even brought them sample ribbons of the colors I wanted and they claimed they could match it. Sounded good to me. I am in Finance, I have no clue about making cakes, nor have I had to order one before.

Fast forward to the day before the wedding when I am supposed to pick it up…I get a call from the store saying that the first attempt “did not look right” and they wanted to start over. I was really annoyed at this because I was on a tight timeline and had no other time to get it myself. So I arranged for a family member to pick it up for me and went about my busy day. The family member had no idea what it was supposed to look like so they did not say anything to me and I don’t think I even asked how it looked, only that it was dropped off. I did not see the cake till the DJ announced us and we walked over to the table to cut it. The moment I saw it was videotaped and every time I see it I can’t stop laughing. My eyes get the size of saucers and you can see me say “WTF is this?? OMG do not take pictures of it” I was laughing so hard at the hot mess of a cake that we could barely cut it. (The swipe out of it in the picture was from us) I had my “Day Of” wedding coordinator remove it immediately and no one really even knew it was there since we had the cheesecake bar already set up.

I did not ask for my money back….if the baker did not see a problem with this cake how do I even begin to explain this to them?? And I figure you get what you pay for. I honestly thought it was funny and it did not ruin my day. I did review them on wedding sites with pictures as an example of their work.

I did not yell at the family member (they had no idea what it was supposed to look like) or my Day of Coordinator (she figured if a family member dropped it off, it must be ok).

Hope this clears things up & glad it made everyone else laugh too ;)

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't believe there are professional bakers who think you can recreate a fodant cake with buttercream. WTF, people? Does that EVER work?

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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