My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Now THAT'S What I'm Talkin' 'Bout

I'm pretty sure I would have ordered this cake back in high school:

Yep, back in my teen glory days I was that lone female in the convention-going, calculus-loving, and occasionally kilt-wearing* crowd. We spent our spare time calculating the dimensional mass of the various Enterprises, learning useful terms in Klingon, and saying things like "I believe this calls for a colorful metaphor". It was awesome.

Seeing the ol' Enterprise D here in all her crookedly displayed glory brings it allll back. In fact, I think this cake is a metaphor for my formative years: it's awkward looking, slightly imbalanced, has large gaps of inactivity, and is easy to misunderstand ("prooper"?) - but despite all that, it still has a good heart (right over the 'i'- see it?).

Hey, diskgrunt, "tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh’a’"?

* Don't ask.

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Reader Comments (119)

This cake brings back WAY to many memories!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Moffitt

I DID have the license plate 1701-B. The only one who recognized it was an autistic kid. I guess my grown children are right, I am weird.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Space: the stuff you leave a lot of between the skewed picture and the lame cursive writing.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThreeundertwo

oooooh...we would have been friends.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Oh, PLEASE make it an assignment for someone to track down the Data dream cake. You know that someone has had one made. It's out there somewhere. Pretty, pretty, pretty please!!!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

There is nothing wrong with the picture. Enterprise-D is just banking to the starboard in order to engage a Klingon Bird-of-Prey...

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWun Elle Tee

AND...did you all hear???They've made a Star Trek 11!!!!! It's of a YOUNG J.T. Kirk and a YOUNG Spock!! It looks horrendous!!!! Betcha it was written by Shatner....

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwordwitch

Not so much about the cake, but I only saw Star Trek twice. The second time was while visiting my brother in England--and it was the same episode I'd seen before. Sigh.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I bet you love to watch the Big Bang Theory, don't you? :) Me too!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeri

This is great! I too was a female trekkie, and would have totally ordered this cake back in the day. Actually, I would order it now probably, LOL! Still go to conventions, have all the movies and series on dvd, bookshelves full of the books. My son has all the ships (they make sounds!!)
It's all good fun.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShadow Rider

Sort of OT, but all these store bought/made cakes are really starting to aggravate me. So little taste and imagination. Square cake, white frosting, one color borders. So generic. Ugh!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

By the way, did you know you can set your Google page to be in Klingon??

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShadow Rider

If only this were a "Conan the Barbarian" cake, I would have found the perfect thing for my Hubby's b-day!!

Anyone know where I can find a non-wreck CtB cake?

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHarley Quinn

OMG...this all makes sense now...

My daughter (age 16) has been a Trekkie since she was about 9. Has a soft spot for Reading Rainbow because of LeVar Burton. Gave her best (male) buddy a kilt for Christmas this year. Loves Calculus...and has this wacky sense of humor...

Um, Jen? Are you missing a kid? Like, for a long, loooooong time?

(She loves CW just a *little* too much, too!)


January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVinca Leaf Quilts

I knew there was more to why I liked this blog than the humor and cakes. Another slightly geeky Star Trek fan is a fabulous find.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

I see either Prooper or the infinity sign that another poster mentioned. Prosper I do not see...that is a very sloppy S.
I don't think it matters whose third grade class the cake decorating lady was in. I think it matters that if you're going to be a "professional" cake decorator you should at least be able to make coherent letters that are above the quality of third grader.
Is it just me or some of the anonymous posts lately getting very snippish?

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

S or no S... I see prooper too. So funny!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Hehe, unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your perspective) no need to explain the kilts. The only thing you left out is the carrying around your own hand crafted sword too. ;o)

I see an "pooper" and upon closer inspection a "prosper." Doesn't matter either way, the fact that you can see a pooper anywhere on the cake is well...wrecktastic!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love this cake, actually.

But I'm the lone girl with a group of (sometimes kilt wearing) sci fi watching D20 tossing guys. So take that with a shaker of

word verification: consia-new title for girls who frequent cons of this nature?

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKassiane

Cake-loving geeky girl here too...
I never learned Klingon, but I used to track all of the Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition. In fact, several of them fit with this cake, specifically "Always know what you're buying," and "Satisfaction is not guaranteed."

Anyway - I agree with the anonymous poster who is saddened by all the "generic" looking cakes being churned out. there was plenty of room to turn that blue border around the Enterprise picture into a television set or movie screen.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterslycreations

I'd order that cake NOW! Of course, I would hope it would come out looking a little better than that one. :)

PS It does kinda look like prooper, but it does definitely say prosper. ;)

Ugh! Impostors, all of you! How can so many supposed Star Trek fans scrutinize this confectionary abomination and not point out that the 1701-D was from ST:TNG while the quote "Live long and prosper" was popularized by a character that (mostly) appeared in ST:TOS!?

To be a truly congruous cake, the picture should either be of the 1701 or 1701-A, or the message should be something like "Make it so."

Trekkies? Wreckporters? None of the above.

...way to go. You've gone and made me all weepy. *sniff*

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFyrefrog

The writing almost looks like "Live Long and Prooper"

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I dont think anyone knows a thing about the copyright laws!

I admit, it drives me crazy. I work in a bakery and I will not use an image without a copyright release! Its all straight and narrow for me. :-p


January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I feel so left out. I don't speak Klingon. DAMN IT. Anyone habla? だれでも日本語を話すか?

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmerican Girl in Japan

Ah! Cake wrecks casual viewer...resistance is will be assimilated. (At least this is how I feel). I think my husband, the grown geek, would have perfered the green orion slave girl cake. Let me know if you find one of those.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterflavolgal

I'm starting to see a whole "Wreck to Order" theme going on lately. Yesterday's sick theme cakes and today's enterprise look exactly like something that certain people would specifically ask their local baker to make. Heck, the Trekkies probably brought their favorite picture to the store and asked for the bright blue icing. But the rest of America will look at these cakes and say, "Wait; what?" Mind you, I LOVE seeing this kind of wreck. I think people are nifty each time I see one of these.

PS - yes, I said "Trekkies," 'cause I kick it old school.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Hey! I was that girl too! I knew there were others out there :)

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkimberly

We spent our spare time calculating the dimensional mass of the various Enterprises...

At the first high school football game I ever attended, all I could think was how many football fields it would take to equal the length of the Enterprise-D.

(Because I know there are fellow nerds watching, a Galaxy-class starship is 642.4 meters, or 702.65--just over seven football fields)

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBob

OK, I've laughed until I've cried over your posts before, but this one tops them all -- you made me laugh because you confessed to being a geek. I love you, now.

btw, I can't help thinking female trekkies aren't that rare since all the true trekkies I know are, indeed, women.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Wow, were you me in high school? Even the kilt-wearing.

That said, wow. This cake gives me a little bit of vertigo, a little bit of nostalgia.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

That blue icing took about a week to brush off your teeth and tongue. And apparently took some time to wash out of some folks hair...

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiskgrunt

so much better than the one i made my my little brother when we were kids, complete with a deformed starfleet badge drawn in white icing on chocolate :)

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

The only useful term I knew in Klingon was "Your ship is a garbage scow," and I can't remember how to say it anymore. BUT I do own the Klingon dictionary! Does that count?

We had just enough friends in our geek group to be the entire cast of TNG, including Dr. Polanski and Guinan. A black guy even played Geordi. The girl who played Troi had gorgeous, long curly brown hair, and she made communicator badges for all of us. The girl who played Dr. Crusher had bright red hair. I was Ensign Ro because I had dark hair and could be a real bitch. We bought a ST:TNG murder mystery game and we all dressed up in costume and went to a friend's house to play it. We also set up a bridge in another friend's living room, with a couch being the Captain, First Officer, and Counselor's chairs, and Laz-E-Boy recliners with TV trays for the comm stations.

And yes, we were seniors in high school.

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkatphoti

Fyrefrog, I feel your pain. And if you wash your hands before touching the book, you are welcome to page through our first edition Star Fleet Technical Manual, complete with my husband's childhood signature on the front overleaf. (I almost cried when I saw that, but it was done long before we met.)

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteroddharmonic

I'm sorry, but for the commenters complaining about "Live Long and Prosper" being a ST: ToS phrase, I hate to pull the Trekkie nerd card and say that it's not just a ToS phrase, it was used in all of the series at one point or another. It's a common Vulcan phrase and one of the most recognized phrases from that universe.

I am not nerdy enough to actually know Klingon (thought about it, but never followed through), but I know a guy who, at one Halloween party went as Arthur from HGTTG. The host of the party greeted him at the door in full Klingon regalia speaking the language. Without prior planning for this scenario, he pulls a Sweedish fish from his pocket, puts it in his ear, and instantaneously his friend switched to English mid sentence. Much more nerdcore than I am.

I am not

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The extra space is probably to put the recipient's name in.

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter=Tamar

You aren't the only girl into these things... but I knew that about you when you referred to something as your "personal Kobayashi Maru." Only a true Trek geek would say that and take it as a given that she'd be understood.


January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRubyT

Have you seen this website?

It's hilarious!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrsFierceShoes

You're far from the only trekkie gal out there, but you've been in my upper echelon of cool nerds since your Kobayashi Maru comment several posts back.

I'm sure I'm not the only person to have named her doberman Spock, right?... (hears crickets chirp)

Ah well, "I feel fine".

WV: segun. Segun, run!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

How can you say "kilt wearing" and then "not to ask"? O.O

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

:O Most awesome cake wreck!!!

This blog is amazing! Which reminds me I have to vote again today! XD

wv: resses
"My favrit part of skool is resses"

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYénifer

So totally LOVIN' this cake. Except for the fact that it says "prooper" instead of "prosper" bu the awesomeness makes it forgivable.

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSport's Mom

To Anonymous @ January 7, 2009 2:21 AM

Can I come to your friends' Halloween parties? :-D

Nerds rule!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhollyml

I read it as prosper too. For my fellow ST fans... I found out yesterday that Majel Barrett Roddenberry passed away in December. The only actress to have been in all the versions of Star Trek: Number One in the pilot, Nurse Chapel in the original series, Mrs. Troi in ST: TNG and ST: DS9 and the computer voice in all the various series and movies. Rest in space with Gene, Majel.

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStar Trek Mom

There are lots of female Trekkies. There always have been. I'm an Original fan, my earliest memory is of a ST episode on tv so I think that counts!
But the cake is very Wrecky, for all sorts of reasons which have been mentioned already. But I still like it.
I'm known as the Borg Queen by my family. I prefer not to speak Klingon - Resistance is Futile!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOtter Mom

I read "prosper," but it is, as noted, easily misunderstood. I'm a female star trek geek, raised on syndicated original trek, and grown on later treks (I idolized Data). I would have had no friends if it weren't for the male trek geeks in my school needing a default date to social events.

I actually married a guy so nerdy he couldn't even get into the fraternities at MIT.

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha ha! Female Trekkers represent!

I had a Star Trek communicator pin I wore throughout middle school and high school. And my family went to the Las Vegas Hilton's Star Trek Experience for Thanksgiving once. I also have a "Ferengi School of Business" window decal.

I would have fought a Denebian slime devil for this cake when I was in HS. Hell, I might still do it now. ;-)

January 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKookaburra

I soooo need this cake for my mother's 50th this year

January 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlcsa99

1. That would have soooo been my cake when I was a teenager.

2. Personally, I don't think you've truly lived until you've seen a cosplaying Klingon in a kilt.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline

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