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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct012009

Adowable Widdle Wrecks

Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of puppy...cat eyes?

* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**

**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.


This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:

See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")

How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.

*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)

Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?

Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:

A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)

And finally we have what appears to be a cross between a mutant rubber ducky and Angelina Jolie:

Sorry, sorry; I know that's kind of mean. I shouldn't malign rubber duckies like that.

Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!

- Related Wreckage: Hello, Kitty?

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Chicago! Come see Jen and John tonight at the Barnes & Noble in Skokie (the Old Orchard Cener) at 7:30PM. It'll be fun. Promise.

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Reader Comments (76)

These cakes are awesome, so funny. My mom used to make Strawberry Shortcake and Garfield looking cakes when I was little!

I just started my blog a week ago. Check it out and let me know what you think. Any advice you could give me would be awesome as I am new to this whole world. I am still trying to figure out how to "advertise" it.

http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.com

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHarlem's A Hatin

ahhhh the jungle cruise water! as a former jungel cruise skipper I would like to point out that the tetnis shot you have to get when falling ihas nothing to do with the dye...but with the large amount of animal and human fecal matter (i.e. baby diapers tossed overboard) that end up in the river on a daily basis...daily.

And on another interesting note...the dye actually starts out a deep purple and it added to the water via scwitzer falls...which is why the jungle looks very foamy on water color day :)

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain Cleavage

I had my suspicions but at the end I read:"posted by john (the hubby of JEN) at 9:30 AM on Oct 1, 2009" and knew it was a 'guest' poster...
My 16 yr old took one look at the "turd" and said,"It's a lemur! Why else would it be in a jungle?!?"

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Valinda

Hahaha, I totally know what you mean about the Jungle Cruise!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Kauz

Perhaps that green one isn't supposed to be a frog after all. It's a horny toad.

wv: resca
Someone call the SPCA to come resca these poor critters!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

I used to be a jungle cruise skipper as well - and one rainy day, I slipped on the dock and fell in, between the boat and the dock! Luckily, since it was less than 50% of my body that fell in (just my leg and arm on my left side), I did not need to get the tetnus shot. I only had 30 mins left of my shift, and was hoping they would just send me home. Nope, they sent me all the way back to change into a new costume! I love Disney stuff, but the managers are EVIL!
-Amy

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Adowable?
buh dum bump?
announcer voice?

is it just me?

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hope no one forked over the 9.99 for that duck!

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

You mean the water color isn't natural?? "and now you will see what very few have seen before...the backside of water!"

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

HAAA!!!!

Holding my nose to keep from snorting at my desk!!

Annnnd, it did take me a minute to figure out why you were picking on me about the cow...
Because my mom is named Elsie?
Because I grew up in Alabama?
Because I ate steak last night?
Hahahaha!

Alex :)

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Got to run, so PLEASE forgive me not reading all the comments just in case this is old news now, but I have had a Disney Official (i.e. the guy driving the Storybook Land boat) tell us that all you have to do if you fall in the water there is wait for it to dry and then peel it off. See? Easy Peasy. And I suppose it would count as an extra souvenir.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZebraBelly:

LLLOOOLLLL at the first part of the comment about Angelina Jolie. Don't know why, just did. :D
Marylu

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarylutn

The skunk and the frog were actually pretty adorable...

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBookworm

Yes, but the bottom side of water is far more interesting than the backside of water. (and, yes, there is a place on Disney property that gives you an excellent view of the bottom side of water ... drive past the TTC parking lot, just before you get to the Toaster, you'll go completely underwater for about 1 1/2 seconds)

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSyracuseWolvrine

There's enough bouffant
On those bovine hips to squish
Any robot flat.

wv: derspi. Derspi the last time I tell you to stay outta my cake.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Maybe I'm just tired, but I'm absolutely dyin' with laughter over the skunk wreck.

And it's hard to laugh quietly (so as not to wake sleeping children) when something's that funny. It really is.

I love this blog.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Hi, Cake Wrecks is getting some coverage in Oz!

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/glance/870259/dodgy-bakers-exposed-on-blog

World tour time? (Please!)

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Are you sure that the frog one isn't actually an alien? That's kind of the vibe I get with the candle placement maybe being antennae.

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaylah

Awwww... that poor duck was, um, "born" that way.... Er, rather baked I know. It's not her fault she has horrendous lips, which ducks dont have anyways...

Actually, kinda looks like a cross between a chicken and the cat lady of the batman posts, now that I think of it. (shivers) Scary. Either way, brava. Brava.

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoseph

You know how they have that blue-green water at mini golf places too? Well apparently this post brought back some latent memories of my childhood, because I am now remembering my mother telling me and my sisters that if we fell in (we were a boisterous bunch) that she wouldn't help us out and we would get skin diseases. Thanks, Mom.

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

haha i love the Princess Bride!!

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm pretty sure that green one is supposed to be an alien, not a frog!

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLori

gotta say i'm drunk right now, and I am NOT seeing it

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Silly person! Everyone knows that beef stroganoff is what you call a MASTURBATING cow1

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

My 3-year-old just pointed to the picture of the "frog" and said "I think it's supposed to be a horse because it has all those feathers."

October 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna King

Literal tears and bellyache from laughing at the entry about the jungle cruise cake. thanks for making my week! it's been a rough one.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermorninglory kitsch

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