My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Autumn Terrors

When you see your typical bakery display filling up with disembodied plastic fingers and red corn syrup drenched eyeballs you know Halloween is nearly upon us. Of course, those cakes are trying to be gross, gory, and/or creepy.

[sing-song voice] Bo-ring!

Personally, I prefer the cakes that were going for cutesy, but didn't quite make it. You know, like this:

Bring me the head of Billy the Scarecrow!!

Don't you worry about Billy, though...

...I hear he qualified for the "bale out" program. (Hay!)

I don't think this next one was going for cute, exactly, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't going for this level of creepy, either:

Um. Wow. The monster mash just got a leeetle bit awkward.

So anyway, you can keep your rat-gnawed arms and zombie brain cakes; to me, no baked good will ever be as terrifying as this thing:


Denise, Surlana, Matt L., & Kourtny, I will never look at fried eggs the same way again. Thanks.

- Related Wreckage: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

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Reader Comments (106)

haha I'm with Stephen and Jagyularr - the first thing I thought of on that last one was "Chilly Down with the Fire Gang". Nice. But, even if that was the intention, it was pretty poorly done.

"Snake Eyes!!!" haha I love Labyrinth.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharity Charity Ichiban!

OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!?!?! *runs screaming*

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

I have no idea what that is crawling out of the frosting leaf pile, but I'll take it home. ^.^

and call it George and pet it and stroke it and hug it...

...and flush it down the toilet so it can grow to enormous size in the warm dark sewers.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Are we sure that last one isn't something from the Jim Henson Creature Shop or an extra in Labrynth (sp)?

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

Obviously some of these bakeries (or bakery sections as the case may be,) do NOT put these "decorators" through a trial period to see if they can actually decorate a cake. Scary!

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracey

I've been staring at that last cake for at least the last five minutes trying in vain to figure out even a minute possibility of what it could be but all I've got is Leaf Monster. Maybe it's supposed to be a Leaf Monster...I don't know. All I know is that I would never buy cake #1 as cutting into the head of anything, scarecrow or not, is disturbing.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The green monster impressed me, but that last cake scared me. How could someone make that? When I see thongs like that, even if I don't want to, I start to believe in monsters, or something like that. (Note: I like Halloween.) His eyes are madly scaring. eheheh

After the first shock, that last cake makes me laugh. Is this hysteria? \0/

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I see that 50 other people already echoed my same "What the heck is that thing?!" sentiments.

I'm liking the Labyrinth idea though... whether intentional or not!

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I'm pretty sure that last cake is the severed head of a Furby.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRAC

That last one looks like a horse that's been stepped on.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What the hell is the last one? It's like possesed sunny side up eggs wearing a hat made of feathers.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMizprynces2u

@Jagyularr: Omg, i thought the same thing.

Maybe they were going for Fierie? If so, well done, Wreckerator.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdmin

I will now leave my opinion on each pic because you know I have no life:

1. Besides being a yellow pumpkin scarecrow hybrid theres almost nothing wrong with this guy. It's just the genius Wreckie wanted everything perfect so he meade something to center the face on! In BLACK icing, and then to add to the insult the wreckie forgot to take it off because haveing blacklines going across the face is SO much worse than the eyes being off center.

2. Why this dead scarcrow is simply Magnificent! But why in the world is he wearing that bright orange beret? Oh it's a pumpkin? But aren't pumpkins round? Oh it's the flat because you dropped the pumpkin from the roof of the barn onto his head. THen you took the body and stuffed in a hay bale to hide it. Uh well I uh got to go now *shuffles nervously to the next pic.*

3. *relieved to be away from the scarcrow murder* Well this is a....disturbing cake. What is this thing. I want you.... *flips over card* To make a frog cake. *stares at cake looking for the resemblence between fraken frog and a real frog* The resemblance: They are both green. Looks at the weird fingers, and weird sprinkle choice: You know I think you can sue for this....or at least get you money back for them barfing on it.

4. *rubbing the awfulness from my eyes* I hope this is a nice normal wreck, maybe a mispelling or tw- FOR THE LOVE OF ALL WRECKED CAKES WHAT IS THAT!. Suddenly the terrible truth dawns on her, how can anbody be this color/iceing blind. I think (looks in horror at the color catrastrophe) that they were trying to make I don't know a group of leaves but obviously it turn out right so the manager in a vain attempt to save the wasted icing searches around, the only icing left is white and yellow ( the brain dead employee has used all the decent fall colors on the...thing) so he quickly draws big white eyes and yellow iris (because you no some monsters have yellow eyes) than finds the thing lacks a mouth. He quickly finds two stale surger cookies they were going to throw out, fills it with whit icing for the mouth, hlaway through to the managers horror he runs out of white icing, he quickly grabs the yellow and does the rest of the beak/mouth with that color. Than he puts on the display proud of his quick thinking. He then sacks the poor wreckie.

Thank you thank you. This is my impression of what happened to each and every cake *bows*


October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTilly of Silly

That last one reminds me of one of the Fiery Gang who left his head behind... only now his mouth is made of cookies.

I can see I'm not the only one who saw the Labyrinth resemblence. Great minds, and all that. :)

LOL "Bring me the head of Billy the Scarecrow!" Sounds vaguely Wizard-of-OZ-esque with a hint of the Queen of Hearts, no?

WV:ousio...almost ouzo ;)

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwhateverfor

Jen...I love you. But not in a creepy, restraining-order kinda way. You're the Friday night margarita of the blogophere.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterivygreen

The last one looks like a Thanksgiving mutant - fall leaves and deviled eggs.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVal

What the hell is that t hing in the last picture!? I'm going to have nightmares of deviled-egg eyed monsters with autumn leaf hair chasing me all night long.

And i thought the first few pictures were scary. Oh no.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Um, on the "I want you" cake...what is that, an alien receiving a note from his/her stalker?

and the last first thought was "smashed deviled eggs." Yum!

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

What... what is it??

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLacy

Love the Leaf Monster: "Go ahead. Jump in. You know you want to. Colorful, crispy leaves piled high. Nom, nom."

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Last one - what the h--- IS That thing??!?

(Capcha: outher "O noe, it's a cakething! Get outher fast!")

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "bale-out" comment did me in.
These are just... bizarre.

WV - forti: Good luck trying to catch forti winks after seeing these wrecks!

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Are you sure Billy the Scarecrow isn't Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw from last Easter now in Halloween garb?

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenntoo

ahhhhhhh! i am running! ;)

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia W.

What the hell is that last thing??? I shall remember it always in my nightmares. WOW.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

The third one immediately made me think of that Beatles song..."I Want You/She's So Heavy." And subsequently that scene in Across the Universe.
I can see it now--a giant green monster reaching out from the picture to grab you AND EAT YOUR BRAINS!

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucy

Is it just me, or does cake #1 look like it started life as a basketball?

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

@Kelly--it so totally IS Spud! That was actually my first thought. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets the heebity-jeebies from that guy. "Farmer pickles finally gave him his comeuppance..."


October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy

I see David Lynch has taken a second job as a cake decorator.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

The "bale-out" actually did achieve cute, imho. Just my $0.02

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrietastic

I couldn't flutter
my lashes, so I thought I'd
spell it out for you.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The worst thing about the green monster cake is that it was made at a chain grocery store. We saw the first one and took the picture. A week later, in another location, we saw it again. Cincinnatians, beware! ~Molly

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At least the creepy monster cake didn't say, "I won't you", as is normally seen on such wrecks.

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHope

I have to say that the hay bale with the scarecrow in it doesn't look like a wreck to me. I think it's cute - clever concept. It looks homemade, too, and not professionally done. I think whoever did it did a very nice job!

October 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

Is that last one anything but frosting and a couple cookies? How can that be food?

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

the green one is priceless - made me spit tea all over the keyboard and I don't want to know what my roommate thinks is going on.

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterellie

Goodness! What kind of scary thing was the last one. Hope it will not be in my dreams this night.

Summer" rel="nofollow">A Writers Den" rel="nofollow">Brown Mestizo

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

That "bale out" cake is adorable! Your posting of it was late a day. :)

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

(first post)

just to say, 'Cake Wrecks' blogsite was featured on the Graham Norton Show on the BBC last night!

brilliant, hope it brings even more wreckeration!

hmm. the verification word is octipig... haven't i seen that as a cake somewhere?

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermad

Actually, I LIKE the last two. Poor little sad Green alien thing.

That's like a "pity" cake. I'd take him home just because he seems so very needy.

The final one looks like a psychotic hedgehog. As there was a story on NPR recently about a hedgehog on anti-psychotic medication, I call that last cake timely.

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Did I drop acid and just not remember?

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrabbit_2_26

I like the green one though...His eyes are a win!

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBri

WHAT eve IS that last one? The creature from the Fall lagoon?

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

I think they may have been going for a "Nuckelavee" In which case, it's really not such a bad job . . . of course, if you have to reach into ancient Scottish lore to make sense of it. . .

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have a pic on my cell phone of the "I want you!" cake! This must be the kit of the season or something. I was going to send it in, but someone beat me to it!

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!


October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargot

My 8 year old was shoulder surfing, and when I got to the last cake, he screamed 'aaaarrrgggh it's got eggs on it'.

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKE7IYK

I'm still laughing over the "bale out".

October 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah...that last one definitely looks like the fireys from Labyrinth:

...which were HELLA creepy by the way.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlin

Hahahaha I recognize the 'alien' thing one! It was in a grocery store like 5 minutes from my house! I was literally cursing out loud that my camera was dead because I wanted to take a pic n send it here! So good job to whoever did!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterswall223

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