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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Oct042009

Tour Wreck - UPDATE

Hi all,

Unfortunately, disaster has struck our CW "World" Tour: John is currently in the ICU in a Dallas hospital with pneumonia, and now I've been hit with the sick stick as well. I had hoped to make it to the Austin show today by hopping a flight out this morning, but, well, let's just say my "gut instinct" is to stay near the "porcelain throne." Heh. (Ug.)

I cannot tell you how heart sick I am over this.

As it stands right now, we are canceling the Austin and Kansas City tour stops. Depending on how John and I are doing, we may still be able to make it to Bethesda and/or New York City, but it's too soon to say. Stay tuned to my Twitter feed for all the gory details, and I'll also update here on the blog when I know more.

Thank you all for your well-wishes, and please know that I am so truly sorry. (Especially for the bakers - guys, I promise I will make this up to you somehow.) A re-scheduling is not completely out of the question, but we'll just have to see what happens.

In the meantime, prayers, warm wishes, good thoughts, rain dances, etc., are all very much appreciated. It really stinks to be sick and alone away from home.

UPDATE: More bad news: in addition to the pneumonia, John has developed a staph infection in his blood. He's in critical condition, and so won't be leaving the ICU - much less the hospital - for many days. I'm moving to a hotel closer to the hospital so I can be with him, and I'm afraid this means that the rest of the tour is off. :(

Thank you all again for being so wonderful. Believe it or not, John is still moderating your comments from his hotel bed (talk about an addiction...), so please comment here if you'd like to say hello to him. Better yet: tell him your best joke. He's bored, and needs the laughs right now.

(Hey all! Anne-Marie here! Don't worry, I'm robust and healthy up here in Maine, publishing your comments like crazy! 334 as of a minute ago! John, Jen and all their little viral buddies are loving all the jokes and well wishes. Thanks so much!)

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Reader Comments (1227)

Oh, Jen and John, I am so sorry to hear that John is so ill. I am praying for you and Jen.

Now for my joke:

What don't crabs have any friends?

Because they are shellfish.

Ha!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris, Gina and Hunter

Okay, here's some true riddles:

In marble walls, white as milk,
Lined with skin as soft as silk.
Within a fountian, crystal clear,
A golden apple does appear.
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.

What am I?

And the other one:

What's round, made up of squares, and you use it everyday?

The answer to the first one is An Egg. Think about it....

And the other is Toilet Paper.

Get better soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

Bartender looks at him and says, "Hey! You're famous 'round here. We even have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper, looking puzzled, says, "You have a drink named Steve?"

:) Hope it made you smile a bit, John! Feel better!!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterb*sherrie

I'm late to the party, but just wanted to add my well-wishes. I've done a rain dance and waved a feather in the air for you both.

I missed having a nasty blood infection by this.much last week. Nasty stuff. Hate using antibiotics, but in this case, it was well worth it.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCLD

Talk about a wreck! So sorry to hear the news, guys - sending you a small army of carrot-riding babies bearing my best wishes for a quick full recovery.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaggiethecat

Get well soon, you are in my thoughts! ~Carol

A set of jumper cables walks into a bar...The bouncer walks over and says "okay if you have some drinks, but don't go startin' anything!"

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Get better and get home. Those are the two most important things.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

John and Jen--Hope you both feel better soon. My daughter and I read your blog several times a week and absolutely love it! If you need a laugh, check out "The Landlord," a short film starring Will Ferrell on Funny or Die.

Brandi in TN

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Heavenly Father I just ask for your divine intervention into this situation. We know that all sickness and infirmity is not of your doing and so we ask that you just give John your healing touch Lord. Lord you are our creator and therefore you know how each little molecule should be in its most perfect state. So we ask that you do this for John right now. And Lord while John is under the hospitals care we ask that you guide and direct the hands of all who would be giving care to him. That you give them wisdom in their decisions and patience in their caregiving. Lord I also ask for Peace for Jen. As a bystander to someone who is under a hospitals care it can be so difficult. Lord give her that Peace that passes all understanding so that she may be everything that her loving husband needs at each moment. Lord Bless Jen as well. Lord lift the sickness off of her too and give her strength and vitality to do all that she needs to do. Let them feel your love surround them as they walk through this Lord. In Jesus name I pray. Lord I give you Praise and honour as you answer my prayers. Amen.

God Bless you both John and Jen.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Best wishes!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlaze

Best wishes! Get well soon.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeAnn

Prayers to a return of good health to both of you.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

Get well both of you! We'll still be here waiting for your insights.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShauna

I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope you both make a speedy recovery.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeli-cut

Jen - you are amazing to even send in a blog post during what must be a tense time for you. Please know as your fans that we understand and only wish good health to you and John. Laughter is the best medicine so I'll leave you with a joke from my 3 year old. Why don't chickens have cars?

Because they can't drive.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGourmet Kelly

fell beeter soon! and a joke :)

What is the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* "damn!"
A skydiver goes "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM" *whack*

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermuddypebbles

Jen & John, if you need anything at all, let me know. I am in the Dallas area(Denton, only about 30 minutes away) and would be happy to supply some homemade food, a couple of good movies, and some disinfectant wipes for y'all! Seriously, though, Texans are reputably hospitable, and I would hate for that reputation to be omitted from your stay!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave Koen

A rabbi, a nun, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? A joke?"

All-time favourite joke:
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer: Fish.

GET WELL SOOOOOOON! :-) Hali

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLabyrinth Gal

First, blessings and a speedy recovery. Second, a joke:

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

Anna, cake eater

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

So sorry to hear you're both sick, and that John in particular is SO ill. Refuah schleimah (hebrew for heal fast and completely!).

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterapril

Jen and John- so sorry to hear you are both under the weather and having to cancel the rest of the world tour. Sending you both lots of get well vibes and warm wishes.

We really enjoyed meeting you during the Seattle stop of the tour.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda and Hannah

Jen and John: I wish you both the best and I hope you have a speedy recovery! Hang in there!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteraruizmargenot

Hi John! Can't believe your nasty luck. I heard this joke on Car Talk this weekend...hopefully it's new to you!

A woman goes in to see her doctor all in a panic. When he finally comes into the examination room, she blurts out, "Doctor, I need your help. When I look in the mirror, I look terrible! My eyes are bloodshot with dark circles, my hair is all stringy; even my skin looks gray and saggy. What's wrong with me!?"

The doctor takes one look at her and says, "Well, I can tell you one thing right off the bat. There's nothing wrong with your eyesight!"

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

That sounds like the worst thing to happen. Get well Jen. I am so sorry. Get well John. We love your addition to this blog and I hope you have a speedy recovery.
~a

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie of Blue Gables

Thoughts and prayers coming your way! Hope that you're feeling better soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjenn

Get well soon! Best wishes!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Getts

Oh, Jen and John -- Please, if you need errands run or whatever, I'm probably not the only one in the Dallas area who would be willing to help. Email amforbus [at] tx.rr.com if you need some local support.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDogBlogger

Two atoms are walking down the street and one says to the other, "I think I lost one of my electrons..." The other atom responds, "Are you positive?"

[insert quick rimshot/cymbol sound here]

Hope you recover to full health soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

Best wishes to both of you for a speedy recovery!

And here's a silly Sven and Ole joke to make you smile...

Ole and Sven went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish, and Sven says, "The way I figger it, Ole, each of them fish cost us $400. Well. At dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more of em than we did."

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I will miss you in Kansas City, but wish you a speedy recovery even more so!

Cori

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh Jen and John! Such bad news for such good people. We've been sick here too but at least we get to be home with our electric blankets and chicken soup.

Funniest joke... Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

...

Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
---------

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

...

Nacho cheese.

(but also this joke. :-) )

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Oh dear. There aren't many things more important than cake...but health, that's one of them. I hope the hotel towels that Jen is barfing into are niiice and soft. Feel better! - Becca

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I see a whole series of Staph Infection cakes coming up ... get better!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCJ

Prayers for both of you. So sorry to miss you in Bethesda, but that should be the last thing on either of your minds right now.

Get well soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeCaThRe

Hope your feeling "better".

Wreck on!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

OMG! This is what I miss when I don't read Cake Wrecks on the weekends! GET WELL SOON!!!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlizzied

Oh no! How awful for you two. I wish you both a speedy recovery. And John--get off the computer and get some rest--STAT!!

Steph

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

We'll miss you-- there's not enough excitement in KC, this was a big deal-- but pleeeease feel better!
I sent you a Kansas City Cupcake Cake (KCCCC!) photo, just in case a pumpkin could speed the recovery process. :)

Colleen

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

I check this blog almost daily, but had to leave my first comment to let you know I wish you a speedy recovery!

Thanks for the daily humor! I bought three copies of your book - they make great birthday gifts!

My favorite joke:
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

A: Nacho cheese (Say it with some sass)

Get well soon!!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Holy hell. Get well soon, guys! So sorry to hear about the tragedies on the road, but the tour can always be done later. The legion of loyal fans isn't going anywhere.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTodd

Many healing prayers are coming your way! I didn't think I had room for another internet addiction... but checking up on how Jon is doing is my new one. Much love to the both of you! - Heather

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermoc815

Long time reader, first time commenter. Had to join the chorus by wishing you both a speedy recovery!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen and John, best wishes for a healthy and speedy recovery.
[under neat that]
Your fans are completely understanding and are in no way disappointed!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDakota

Get well soon! Here's another joke to add to the arsenal ...

A monkey walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hi, do you have any grapes?" The bartender says, "No, sorry, we don't." Five minutes later, the monkey walks up to the bar again and asks, "Hi, do you have any grapes?" The bartender says, "No, I told you, we don't." Another five minutes later, the monkey returns to the bar and asks, "Hi, do you have any grapes?" The bartender, who is rather annoyed at this point, says, "No, we DON'T; now GO AWAY and if you ask me again, I'm going to nail you to the wall!" And so the monkey leaves.

Five minutes later, the monkey is back. The bartender, thoroughly exasperated, says, "WHAT???" The monkey asks, "Hi, do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "NO!" At which point the monkey says, "Then do you have any grapes?"

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterContemporary Troubadour

I care about you both so much, even though I don't know you. There is nothing that would make me happier in the next few days than for John to get all better soon. Please take care of yourselves.

Amanda

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Oh, no! What sad news!

Please take good care of yourselves, both of you. I'm sending you my heartfelt wishes for a speedy recovery, and I hope Jon's stay in the hospital will be as pleasant and pain-free as possible, under the circumstances.

(Maybe once Jon's feeling a little bit better, you two can both take a stroll to the hospital cafeteria to scout out any possible wreckage?)

Get well soon,

Becky

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I am so sorry to hear of "The Plague" befalling you both.
I'm sure all the Wreckists are most understanding...hey, they might even send the sweet treats to you to speed along your recovery.
Heck, maybe after you guys are rested up and do another World Tour you can come up here to The Great White North and enjoy the land of sarcasm firsthand!
Right now, our thoughts are with you, and we pray for your speedy recoveries and that John gets sprung from the hospital soon.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSmall

Just started reading your blog a few days ago. It's great!

Hope you both are back on your feet real soon! Take care and best wishes! :)

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

So sorry to hear it - get well soon, both, and enjoy the get-well cakes that are bound to arrive (if they haven't already done so).

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermcm

Hi from New Brunswick, Canada. I will be remembering you both in my prayers. Take care, Sue G

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfossilsue

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