My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Day the Tour Stood Still

Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I suppose John's blood-curdling yell at 8AM should have tipped me off that our day in Dallas was going to be a wee bit difficult.

As it was, when I skidded into the hotel bathroom, still half-asleep, and saw the golf ball-sized lump on John's forehead, I was hoping it was merely a flesh wound. (Heh.) The irony, of course, is that it was merely a flesh wound, and would soon be the least of our worries.

Since John was laid out on the bathroom floor, my first order of business was making sure he was conscious (and would stay so), ordering a car to get us to the hospital, and getting us both decently clothed - in that order. In addition to the head wound, John was beyond miserable with what we thought was the flu, so the walk-in clinic we first went to turned us away (none too nicely, I might add), since they couldn't tell if his symptoms were from the flu or the head bonk. So, we called another cab, and waited. The clinic doctor came out and threatened to call an ambulance if we didn't leave quickly, or if John closed his eyes for too long, so it was a long, tense wait. (John was alert enough that we didn't think an ambulance was necessary, but we both had only had a few hours of sleep that night, so he kept trying to put his head down.)

Skipping past a few hours of tedious misery: John was laid out in the ER and on an IV. His head seemed Ok, and the flu test came back negative, so they planned to get just one more bag of fluids in him and then release him. It was getting late, though, so I had to head back to the hotel to get ready for the show. I figured I'd do it solo, and then meet up with John afterward at the hotel.

I should mention that at this point I thought the show at Legacy Books started at 3. It did not; it started at 2. Yeeeah. (Thanks, Amy, for that phone call. And sorry 'bout the screeching.)

I arrived at 1:50 to a lovely crowd of cake-hungry Wreckies:

However, thanks to a host of technical difficulties, all the store's horses and all the store's men could not get my slide show together again. (Not for lack of trying, mind you. Kyle & Jeremy, you guys are awesome.) I really would be doing the show solo: no slides, no John, and not even a mic, at first. Heh.

But here's the crazy thing: it was a great event. Seriously. The crowd was so enthusiastic, and so happy to be there, that I think we all had a fabulous time. It didn't hurt that we had a gorgeous cake on hand, courtesy of Bronwen Weber's Frosted Art Bakery:

Mmmm. Chocolate.

(The three lovely ladies you see here are students at a local pastry school. Since Bronwen was at a cake show, they generously volunteered to help serve.)

Plano really turned on the Southern charm for me. Check out these girls' shirts:

Some even brought gifts, like this gorgeous apron Brooke W. made for me:

Isn't it cute?
(This is Brooke's photo, not mine. I only wish I had a Lucille Ball dress like that.)

And we can't forget our cupcake Wreckplica winners!

From left to right: Kayla, Nicole, & Christy

Here are their entries:

It's Snappy! Haven't seen him in forever.

She even added the rose petals. Awesome.

Fondant censor bars FTW!

When I was about three quarters of the way through the signing line, I found out that John was not only still in the hospital, but that he also had pneumonia. I'm glad I didn't know the whole truth yet (no one did): that in addition to his lungs being filled with fluid, he was also in shock and had a bacterial infection raging through his blood stream.

John was in critical condition for the next two days, and we are still finding out all the many and colorful ways he could have lost limbs or even his life had the infection taken a nasty turn - or if he hadn't been admitted when he was. Yep, all told, we are very happy he bonked the bejeepers out of his noggin.

So that's the story, my dear Wreckies. Well, not completely: I could go on about my fractured emotional state, the tears, the worry, the hotel that locked me out of my room that first night when I was trying so desperately to get to John, the kind nurses who still let me in when I got there late, the fact that John was calling hotels from his bed in ICU to get me into a better & closer hotel, the cab driver who spread the word about us, so that I had other drivers telling me they were praying for John, the ICU food staff who brought extra meals when I hadn't eaten all day, my amazing contacts at Andrews McMeel (Kathy & Amy) who repeatedly told me not to worry about the tour, but to take care of John...yeah, I could go on about all of that.

Or, better yet, I could go on about all of you. The e-mails, the stories, the jokes, the offers of help: you Wreckies made us laugh and cry by turns, but most of all you made us feel like we had one big, snarky family pulling for us. If you'll forgive the gushiness for a moment - I promise we'll get back to poo jokes soon - please know that John and I will always be indebted to you for your kindness these past few days. You've shown us that you are not just our readers, you are our friends. I only hope we can thank each of you personally someday.

Today John is out of the hospital (wahoo!!) and recuperating in our hotel here in Dallas. We're still figuring out what's going to happen from here, and when we'll get to go home, but I believe a rescheduling of the missed events is in the works. So stay tuned. In the meantime, I'll do my best to keep the Wreckage coming. ;)

Thanks to Brooke W., Katie T., and David H. for letting me use/steal some of their photos.

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Reader Comments (347)

Sorry for the craziness, but glad you were in Big D when it happened. My hometown is known for our kindness and hospitality! BTW, which hospital was he in? That's where I want to go if I'm ever in need of an ICU.

Love your site!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrandyLSlater

I'm so glad John is doing better! You guys have been in my thoughts and prayers. But there is one thing I'm dying to know: how in the world did he bonk himself on the head in a hotel bathroom? Or is it one of the embarrasingly stupid clumsy slip ups that you're always glad nobody was around to witness. (I have those moments all the time)

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

I think your first world tour had much more excitement than you expected! I am soooooo incredibly glad to hear that John is now out of the hospital. I hope you both are able to relax a little now that the worst is behind you.

On a side note . . . I'm a rare woman who doesn't like chocolate, but gee whiz! That amazing chocolate cake just might make a convert out of me! Wow!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWriteCards

Oh my God - You have been through an ORDEAL. I'm so glad John is getting better, but what a scare. Let's hope the next tour goes a lot more smoothly.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCiao Chow Linda

I am glad to hear John is better!

If you are still stuck here in Dallas at lunch you should try to get one of the nice cabbies to drive you over to Twisted Root Burger. That Guy Fieri guy liked it so don't just take my word for it.

I wish I worked closer. :(


October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaymond

So glad to hear he's out of the hospital and on the mend. You managed the last week or so with such grace. I hope you _both_ keep resting. And maybe eat some cake.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSchmei

Yikes! I read your blog via RSS feeds everyday. Totally love it and it always puts a smile on my face. Glad everything worked out. Take some time to cuddle while watching some TV on a idle tuesday to aid in recovery.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I am so glad John is doing better. If you're up for more jokes, here's one:
A vicar and a lovely young socialite are seated next to each other at a dinner party, and the discussion turns to morals. The vicar asks her, "My dear, would you sleep with a man for 5 million pounds?"
"Of course I would," the socialite replied, "I'd be a fool not too."
The vicar then asked, "Would you sleep with a man for 5 pounds?"
"Of course not!" the socialite snapped, "What sort of girl do you think I am?"
"We have already established what kind of woman you are," said the vicar, "All that is left is to haggle over the price."

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterturbidity

So glad you're doing better! I'm so glad that all your fans are understanding as well. I was certainly hoping that you would not receive any irate "How dare you cancel" emails. I have to believe in the power of positive thinking. I'm sure you had thousands of people all across the country wishing you well again.

Good luck with the rest of the tour and getting home safe. You guys are awesome!


October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

Omigod, you poor things! When he's 100% better (and he WILL be), and the tour is over, you have to write a book about it all! Best wishes & hugs for you both~

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I'm SO glad to hear John's out of the hospital.
Thank you both for putting a smile (or look of mild disgust) of my face every day there's a new wreck!
Please take care of yourselves! <3

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeannine

SO glad things finally started going right again. (Didn't anyone warn you about the water in Plano??? It'll mess you up for life. Really. ;) ) Now BOTH of you pause for a little while and rest up a bit, mkay? Otherwise we'll have to have a million, zillion supremely ugly CCCs delivered, just to stun you into submission.

Just sayin'.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterW. D. Cat

YAY! So glad John's out of the hospital and on the mend! I wish I could send a joke or some snarky story, but my forte is appreciating those things, not coming up with them.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Oh wait, if I had just read the comments I would have seen that he tried to knock himself out on the toilet seat...Ouch!

The guardian angel bit was hilarious!

Glad you're doing better!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

Thanks for the updates. I'm so glad John is feeling better. Go home, get some rest (both of you).

And because recovery is an ongoing process, here is another dose of medicine, in the form of a joke.

A little boy really wanted a bicycle. He prayed and prayed for God to give him a bicycle. But he didn't get one. Then he listened to the preacher one Sunday, and realized that God doesn't work that way. So he stole a bicycle, and prayed for forgiveness.


October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMAM

so happy to hear that John is FINALLY out of the hospital...Sending good thoughts for a continued quick recovery!!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I haven't read all the jokes posted, so this might be a repeat. Still, it always makes me giggle.

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.

Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way; unique up on it.

Feel better soon, soon, soon!


October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hello to both of you! SO GOOD to hear that John’s out of the hospital! You two are the official start to my every work day, you are my “go to” …some people drink coffee, I check cakewrecks. You’re both awesome & it’s wonderful to hear you’re doing better!
Thanks for letting us in to the past few days

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterashleyalvina

We love you wherever you are. Rest, recover, and know you are in all of our thoughts! Which is obvious considering there are over 100 comments up here well before this one!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKiller Mango

I'm a reader and not really a poster, but I've been thinking of you. This post made me tear up more than a little. Glad to hear that John is on the mend. =)

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Fortunate head conk - who knew!? Thanks for keeping us up to date. Remember not to push yourselves, especially you, Jen. Write yourself a positive, healthy premonition and hopefully it will come true!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

What an incredible ordeal - I'm so glad to hear that everything has worked out so well. It must have been hell on wheels going through all this away from home. Take some time to get all the way better, and see you when we see you!


October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

"How Great Thou Art" indeed!

and that is why I LOVE this blog.

Thanks for..well..all of it.


October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrusho

I'm so glad John is on the mend. Thank you both for putting a smile on my face when I check the site in the morning. I'll keep you both in my thoughts.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

So glad that John is doing better! Praise to God. I'm glad that you guys are doing better and that you've had the support and outreach that have seen you through the rough times. :)

BTW: When you reschedule your world tour, please make a stop in Oklahoma!! Even if it's just for me! You bring joy and laughter to my boring day at work and I'd love to hear more about your adventures and such.
Thanks for the joy and the humor!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H

So glad you're both well.

It's amazing what little things can be such huge blessings in life.

And I love cabbies. They're an amazing group of people that are so often overlooked in this world. And yet they're real human beings just like you and me and such.

All the best.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNovice Writer Anonymous

JEN! I don't read your blog for a few days, and then this... I am so, so sorry! Poor lovely John. (i can't quite work it out, though- the pneumonia, i get, but the head wound? How?). Hope he feels better soon. Maybe he'll feel a little better already if he gets to wear your apron, which is gorgeous. Sometimes a man needs a nice frilly apron. I know mine does, but then again, he's British.
Take care, i'm thinking of you both!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterviolet

Not much else to say than what has already been said. Glad to hear Jon is on the mend. Take it easy, you're devoted fans/friends will be patiently waiting :)

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

this post totally teared me up.

...yes, I am secretly a big softy. Okay, not all that secretly. Okay, okay! Everyone knows it! There is hardly a Pixar film I can watch without bawling! But none-the-less, your post made me cry a little and I'm so glad your sweetie is recovering.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstr4y

Lots of tears as I read about your emotional roller coaster of a day. I am glad John is better and back at home. You will both be in my thoughts.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrumsGlass

I am so glad to hear John is on the mend!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Holy cow!! I'm so sorry you're both going through all this. Amazing how something like a bonk on the head can be a blessing in disguise. I will cross my fingers for a speedy and uneventful recovery for John.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLolly

Glad to hear John is doing better. Both of you take care!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBookwyrme

Thanks for the update guys! You've been in my thoughts.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

I'm so glad to hear that John is better! I'll keep praying for him to have a full recovery!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBabsiegirl

I'm so glad he's okay. We've all been worried about him here (I have several friends who read cake wrecks).

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Lyons

So glad things are getting better, and so glad people were there to back you even in a strange place with annoying hotel and clinic staff!
I never comment here, but have been checking daily in hopes that John is doing well, and it sounds like he's on the road to recovery. Very happy it's turning out OK.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my gosh, Jen. What horrible timing - and how horrible that it had to happen at all! So thankful, though, that you all got to a hospital when you did and that you had the support of people around you. You are in the prayers of us here in Los Angeles!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBead Up

I'm so glad John is out of the hospital and on the road to recovery! This may be the first time I've heard anyone say, "I was glad to nearly give myself a concussion." And with good reason!

Lots of good wishes to you both for a full recovery (emotional, physical, etc)!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSouthern Sugar

Feel better very soon John! And hang in there Jen - you're one heck of a wife!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLottifish

I am so happy that John is out of the hospital! Continued blessings on the both of you!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Woo! Out of hospital IS cool! :D I hope things carry on getting better, and get lots of rest. :)
Best wishes,
As the Hind

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterasthehind

I want to wish you both well. Love this blog.

When I showed my husband this following link about Cupcake cars at Neiman Marcus, he said "I sense an impending cake wreck!" He's right--if they crash, that's just what it is!

Hope those CupCake Cars (a different type of CCC) brings a smile to your faces.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

So, so glad to hear that John is out of the hospital and he's feeling better.

Also: That apron is TEH AWESOME. Seriously. Someone needs to make a cake of THAT.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnapolitan

Glad to see that John is doing much better. What would we do without his sarcasm prowess? :@)

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHouse

I think this was a case of sarcasm gone awry. All those time John said he felt fine he really meant.... :)

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl@SomewhatCrunchy

Oh MAN you guys!!! Nothing worse than being THAT sick and being out of town. So glad to hear that John is better. Good thing he cracked his noggin!

Jen take care of yourself, and know that all us wreckies are just happy you guys are OK. Wreckiness can wait.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK. Fall

I'm glad he's out of the hospital... and strangely glad as I know you are that he smacked his head so mightily. The universe is a mystery, eh? (Ooooo, mystical.)

Anyway, yes you are surrounded by people you don't know who care about ya... feel the love! :)

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercuregirl0421

world tour 2 : i can has canada visit pls? we love you here and are totally sending good vibes down your way!

(((((good vibes)))))

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeapot

i am glad you guys are doing ok...that is scary what happened. take it easy.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Holes all over Australia.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrachelle

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