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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Nov202009

Cue Cards, Please?

Last week we looked at cakes that took labeling a bit too far. Today, let's look at the other side of the coin: when cakes really need to give us that hint.

See, once you read the text, and figure out that this has something to do with some sort of ski, it suddenly all makes sense! (Sort of.)

[smacking forehead] Oh, of course! It's TNT! How could I have missed that?

Now, if you're going to give us hints, Wreckerators, it helps if they're at least somewhat legible:

Do you KNOW how long I squinted at this thing, trying to figure out why there were black jellyfish on it? Well, do you?!?

(No, I am not going to tell you what it is. I squinted hard for that knowledge, peeps.)


It also helps if the hints are spelled correctly:

So, we've got a fat anthropomorphic top lip with arms, and it says "Gone Crabiy." Oh kaaaay.
(Well, I guess the word "crab" IS in there...)

Then there are the more cryptic hints:

"Cakes" like this (and I say "cakes" because, as you all know, cupcake cakes are NOT real cakes) can help us brush up on our deductive reasoning skills. Observe:

1. There is a number on the shape, and the cake board reads "Win! Win!"
2. Numbers and winning are often associated with sports.
3. Therefore, the "cake" is a stretched out, radioactive uterus.

Meg, Paula B., Robbie, Kaycee M., & Julie M., with that 8 on there the temptation to make some kind of OctoMom crack is rather strong - but I resisted, just for you.

You're welcome.

- Related Wreckage: Say What?

« Because We Need More Holidays | Main | Batter UP! »

Reader Comments (179)

#3: I saw black jellyfish too. and a miniature football field on the right (the green blob with the white stripes.) very confusing. (Head tilt) Huh. The jellyfish seem to say RIP and so does the green blob. Maybe the black smooshed letters say "Graveyard." But why are the tombstones sideways with tentacles??? And the black fuzzy blobs, what are they?

#4: *snicker* I think it's supposed to be "gone crabbing" as in "gone fishing." Is this how baker/crabbers leave notes for their families? How, um, sweet, to leave a cookie with a message. "Bye honey, be back later, gone crabbing. Have a giant cookie!"

BUT, when I first looked at this thing, I thought it said (misspelled of COURSE) "Gone Crabby." Which is an entirely different interpretation. and freaking hilarious. I want to get one for my menopausal coworker!

and speaking of menopause--I almost fell off my chair with the "stretched radioactive uterus." Didn't see that coming after comments 1 and 2! LOL

I'm still trying to figure out what the heck this is. Meanwhile, to be cheering on a uterus...what could THAT context be???

Maybe it's the Weight Watchers "hungry" guy! In which case do we win against our appetite or does he beat us? Gaps between the cupcakes make the lower half look a little like legs. whatever it is, it's not very happy in that angry orange.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49WjrRJ_DLw

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

The cakes made me laugh, but reading through the comments made me laugh more. It's like one of those psychologist ink blot tests. Very revealing.

I thought that last one was some zodiac sign or something...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNiecey

The 4th cake is a wonky crab, the message says "Gone Crabing". Crabs are a common theme here in Maryland, so we see all kinds of weird crabby wrecks.

wv: sorpta - This picture sorpta looks like a crab.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

Not so much a UT cake, as a UTI cake.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG, Jessica! ROFL "A CCC to celebrate getting an IUD."

and *grin* @ Shasta. poor jellies indeed.

"and then there's the inexplicable jellyfish graveyard. I wonder if Dory knows her Squishy may be dead?" *snickjer* @ Amanda

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#3 is a graveyard. The "jellyfish" are graves.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlbatross

I have a theory about that last cake.

Obviously, it is an extremely elongated uterus, possibly radioactive. Makes sense, right?

Then there's the question of that strange little "8" on it. Obviously, the cupcake cake was made to congratulate a radioactive-uterus-possessing woman on spawning her 8th child.

Obvious, in hindsight.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Anon 10:26--apparently they had trouble with orange. they should have taken tinting tips from the radioactive uterus decorator! since Graveyards are "celebrated" at Halloween I'm sure that's supposed to be orange.

Um, anyone else think it's a weird coincidence that "crabby" and "uterus" are right next to each other? Is that a subliminal STD suggestion, Jen?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Although I hate to admit the knowledge, my husband will be so proud:

The last one is a power T from the University of Tennessee. Notice the neon orange that is offensive in any light and the attempt to round the corners of the T. The number 8 is for the quarterback Jon Crompton.

Ah, football season, giving wrecks a reason to be created!

Speaking as a TN local, I apologize for the color scheme, but I must say, GO VOLS!!!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

"Not so much a UT cake, as a UTI cake." Very funny!

and @Niecey: "I thought that last one was some zodiac sign or something..."

hey! it could be the sign for Aries (Ram) or Taurus (Bull). Good call!

WV stshe: a drunken "ssh!" as in "stshe! don't tell anyone I puked in the palm tree pot!"

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Did anybody else see that angry red swatch on the first cake and read "Skin Graft 09"?
___________________________________

lol Maybe this cake is filled with broken glass, to remind you of a real beach-going experience!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

See I looked at the first one and thought, "Yeah, a Jet Ski, so?" But They were huge where I grew up (near a Grand Lake), and people would mortgage their children to own them, so I suppose I am desensitized.

The Jelly Fish graveyard is sad. Poor Jellyfish.

And the last one has a very Hook 'em Horns University of Texas look to it (aka- The Great Orange Uterus of doommmm)....

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOKBridetoBe

Graveyard! That's what it says--but those jellyfish are crappy gravestones.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

GRAVEYARD! And those jellyfish are supposed to be ghosts?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAunt of 14

I dunno about in the US but in the UK there is a brand of fireworks called "TNT" so maybe it's *meant* to be one of those?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluzz

The last one is definitely (supposed to be) a University of Texas Longhorn.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

Jellyfish graveyards are the scariest ones.

WV: gyroterd! I think maybe that's even better than the radioactive reproductive system.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Octomom should be so skinny.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

*spit-take of coffee*

Biggest LOL in a long time. Deductive reasoning FTW!

"3. Therefore, the "cake" is a stretched out, radioactive uterus."

Bwahahahaa...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia

Graveyard! I am so proud of myself...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca D.

psssh I still don't get the first one...
I may be mildly retarded.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

Well, that took a few minutes, but I resisted the urge to come to the comments page until I figured out that RIP was written several times on teh cookie. Then I finally deciphered Graveyard (kinda). I still don't get the whole picture, but it's some kind of Halloween treat. I guess.

WV misiessi: I send misiessi links to CakeWrecks all the time, because she likes a good laugh.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

OK So after several minutes of assuming the blue was water I have decided the first one is a jet ski. I am pretty sure we are going for jet ski. But of course it is one of those really drunken impersonations of one.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Graveyard!

Yes, I saw the "RIP" gravestones. I swear I figured out the theme. But I squinted and squinted and all I could read was...

Orangeaid!

I swear.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan Rati

I think the last one is a bodybuilder - minus the head. C'mon, that horrible orange color can only be a fake tan!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenMcG

The CCC at the end reminds me of a headless Mr. Gumby.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Spanish Inquisitor

Its "Graveyard" right? And they are supposed to be headstones??

I think the last one is supposed to be the Tennessee Vols "T" ... of course that makes no sense though cause if it was there would be no need to put "win win" ... "lose lose" more like it!

Alexandra

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandra

"Is it possible the last one is supposed to be a jersey?"

I read this as "about Jersey" the first time through, and my answer was...maybe so. *snicker*

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Being from Houston, I originally thought that the last one had something to do with the University of Texas Longhorns. I went and checked out the 2009 roster and #8, not to be mean, is a nobody. Then knowing a little something about college football I checked out the University of Tennessee's football roster and #8 is their QB. My conclusion is that it is supposed to be a big 'T' in orange, just like their logo. So, Win! Jonathan Crompton Win!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZie Zie

I actually didn't have to look at it too long to see that it said "graveyard" and had tombstones that said RIP. I am a little confused about the tendrils, though.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamaran

A graveyard cookie cake...ugh!

And its a "T" for Tennessee?

And the ski cake is a Jet Ski on a wave...UGH again!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't think the Octomom uterus "cake" says "Win! Win!" I think those "W's" are boobs. The Octomom is saying "My uterus is stretched out, so Boobs are in! Boobs are in!" Good thing she didn't breastfeed, huh?! - And please don't attack me for that comment. I'm kidding! I'm a huge breastfeeding supporter! (Could sure have fun with spacing and commas in that last line, huh?)

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjill

I know it's an overdone joke...

But Jellyfish Graveyard -- BAND NAME!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

@ jill-- I think Octomom claimed she WAS going to breastfeed-- if so, the whole thing could be boobs. Ow-ee!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It says Graveyard, those are tombstones. Maybe the fact that I only have 2.5 hours of sleep behind me had something to do with being able to see past the mess.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValinda

God you make me laugh so hard.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth P.

Well, squinting tells me it says 'graveyard.' But to be honest, that doesn't make any more sense to me than a black jellyfish. Who would want a graveyard on a cookie?

And LOL, my first thought on the last cake was uterus as well. A very, very disturbing uterus.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

I thought the orange thing was supposed to be the Longhorns. >.>;; Guess I've been living in TX too long...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Re: a couple other comments here, if that last one really is a trophy, do you still get one for 8th place? Maybe it really IS for t-ball!

And after the kiddos eat it, they glow in the dark!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiminycricket

Ok, so it took me a while to get the jet ski...

And a lot of squinting to get the jellyfish graveyard...

The "Gone Crabing" was pretty bad...

But the worst was the TNT of exploding basketballs. Or maybe OctoMom's uterus... Which I'm GUESSING must be a jersey? Yikes.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBek

I see the word "graveyard" on the jellyfish wreck. Is that correct?

Maybe the whole is just another of those wrecky Rohrschach tests...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

The illegible one says "graveyard" - just in case their so-called tombstones didn't get the point across. Very funny. Not very graveyardesque unless you include the RIP written where ever I suppose. HA HA HA

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersleeplessnights04

Maybe the uterus is mine. I had a hysterectomy when I was 37, and maybe the hospital preserved it as a specimen or something. The lumpiness is about right.

Sorry, that was gross. lol

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Graveyard! What the? Wow!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

So I guess I'm the only one who read the crab cake as "Done Crabiy". I felt so sorry for Mr. Crabiy (pronounced with a French accent of course) that the Cake Wrecker decided to spell out his fate just above his head!

Jenn in Mountain View, CA

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, I did the squinting and I read the word. But I got nothin'. They're headstones? Ghosts? Undead jellyfish?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

I've got it! The cookie cake is a graveyard and they aren't jellyfish, they're ghosts. You know, the kind you draw in the fourth grade? Someone prolly beat me to this, but hey...I'm on my lunch break and I can't read all the comments. ;)

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTina and Jason

Actually, those are INDUCTIVE reasoning skills, not DEDUCTIVE. A deductive argument is where can prove your conclusion with certainly. An inductive argument is one where you can merely prove your conclusion with high probability.

But very funny blog. It cheers up this cranky philosophy student every day! :)

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

The first one looks like a leaning lighthouse to me.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

NO, NO, NO! That last one has nothing to do with the Longhorns! We can not take blame for that! The orange is not anything like that of UT's lovely burnt orange. This is either for the Tennessee Volunteers or the Denver Broncos like the one poster hypothesized.

Either way, it is quite wrecky.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

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