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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Nov202009

Cue Cards, Please?

Last week we looked at cakes that took labeling a bit too far. Today, let's look at the other side of the coin: when cakes really need to give us that hint.

See, once you read the text, and figure out that this has something to do with some sort of ski, it suddenly all makes sense! (Sort of.)

[smacking forehead] Oh, of course! It's TNT! How could I have missed that?

Now, if you're going to give us hints, Wreckerators, it helps if they're at least somewhat legible:

Do you KNOW how long I squinted at this thing, trying to figure out why there were black jellyfish on it? Well, do you?!?

(No, I am not going to tell you what it is. I squinted hard for that knowledge, peeps.)


It also helps if the hints are spelled correctly:

So, we've got a fat anthropomorphic top lip with arms, and it says "Gone Crabiy." Oh kaaaay.
(Well, I guess the word "crab" IS in there...)

Then there are the more cryptic hints:

"Cakes" like this (and I say "cakes" because, as you all know, cupcake cakes are NOT real cakes) can help us brush up on our deductive reasoning skills. Observe:

1. There is a number on the shape, and the cake board reads "Win! Win!"
2. Numbers and winning are often associated with sports.
3. Therefore, the "cake" is a stretched out, radioactive uterus.

Meg, Paula B., Robbie, Kaycee M., & Julie M., with that 8 on there the temptation to make some kind of OctoMom crack is rather strong - but I resisted, just for you.

You're welcome.

- Related Wreckage: Say What?

« Because We Need More Holidays | Main | Batter UP! »

Reader Comments (179)

That says Graveyard?! I think... That's... truly disturbing.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i think that the graveyard cake is a Halloween cake and the jelly fish are ghosts, the blobs of frosting are supposed to be fog and the fancy pink around the edges was supposed to be orange (a coloring mishap... well anyway that's my interpretation :)

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElena Marie

Are you not sure that the orange thing isn't a radioactive robot from an Ed Wood movie?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am confused, but craving sugar.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

From someone who only cares about sports enough to understand her husband...I'm gonna have to say the last one is University of Tennessee. That color is obviously UT, except for the black outlining which really should be white unless this "cake" was from Halloween when they played in Orange and Black uniforms which did look pretty cool. But a uterus is cool too.

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

It's funny, I used to pride myself on my lack of appreciation for the male form. (Or, to take it back to my teenage years: I wouldn't have been caught dead ogling a guy, because I "didn't know how".) But - am I the only one? - the last one was obvious to me. It's a footballer! He has no head, of course. And his legs aren't well-separated. But his abs are ripped.

Right?

wv: disterso - Something about the colour of disterso reminded me of fake tan ...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommentertheangelJean

looks like the WW Hungar Monster

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

The first one has something to do with Obama's love of sking? I think?

Everyone is right the one is a jellyfish graveyard. It makes me wonder why you would need to commemorate that in cake. Is it a new marine biology finding?

And the last one made me wonder why so many badly made CCC's *patooee* look like uterusses? And that made me wonder if that was a word of if it was like Rhinocerusses? Are they Uteri?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm with k-10b in hoping that the jellyfish cookie isn't The Graveyard Book-related. That book deserves better treatment.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I'm REALLY glad that somebody else thought giant orange uterus.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterE.E.King

Is the top lip/crab holding a tin opener? Does that mean the cake is celebrating a trip to the supermarket to purchase pre-tinned crustacea?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

@The 'splorin' Wolfies: I had the exact same experience the first time I read this blog. Tears, actual tears. I had to read the old post in two separate sittings because I couldn't breath from laughing so much.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeffrey Poulin

It says "Graveyard" in poopy script.

The first one is a jetski (skidoo).

The last one is a Texas T for some kind of Texas team.

The second one just looks like Frylock to me lol!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

When I saw that orange cake I immediatly thought 'crossbow'

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"And for the last, maybe I've already lived in Austin too long, but I fear that might be supposed to be some kind of Longhorns thing?"

Oooooohhhhhhhhh, okay, now THAT makes more sense. Except for that pesky 8.

"Not so much a UT cake, as a UTI cake."

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To be fair, they did a better job drawing a jet ski than I would have. Terrible, terrible stuff.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

the cake says ''graveyard'' and the jellyfish are headstones with RIPs on it, right?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjasmine

I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately saw a uterus.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPerkinsClan

Wow, that took forever and a day....but Graveyard! Now I see the RIPs....but ridiculous. And TNT? REally? Looks more like gigantic popcorn to me.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

it disturbs me that i read the "illegible" captions off the RIP cake just after a few seconds...and i think those are headstones...those that seem to be jelly fish caps...right? or am i going insane...?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDee

So... are professional cake "decorators" always high, or what? You had better hope that the nation's grocery store bakeries don't start doing mandatory drug tests, or this blog will be a lot less interesting!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErika

There has never, in the history of deductive reasoning, been a logical conclusion as the one you put forth.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNiffer

Ok, no one seems to have suggested this, so here goes.

I think the last cake is actually supposed to be a Kobe Bryant cake - the Lakers wear a kind of yellowy-orange uniform with purple trim, and he wears number 8. Also, that looks more like a basketball-type posture than any other sport to me.

That's my guess. Jen? Can you weigh in?

WV: bunje - some of these wrecks are so bad they make me want to bunje jump without a knot.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

The orange cupcake thingy kind of reminded me of what a dog or cat's uterus looks like when it's full of offspring. How warped is that, LOL!

The jellyfish one was just plain weird...you never fail to come up with new and surprising stuff. Keep up the good work!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthecatsmeow

It's a playground of course.

Nevan

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNevan

The "black jelly fish " are gravestones that say RIP and the illegible scribble says "graveyard" !

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WTF, and of course I mean What the freak, because my kids are watching.

No twilight?
No new moon?

No edward or apples,
or even
SPARKLES!!!!!!

I'm very dissapointed. We've come to use cakewrecks as our holiday calendar at our house. And most houses around us would agree that this is a holiday. The local, small, 10 screen theater had Jacob and all his new buffness on all 10 screens!

So, um.
Jen, we like you and all. but we're going to have to take a break of you can't keep up with book worm nerdy holidays.
It's not me, it's you

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiagnose Rachel

That last one is too radioactive to look at w/o safety goggles and ear protection.

Amy B-H

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Graveyard! Yay, I can read bubble cursive letters!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLoki

That crab looks like a taco with arms.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdarlingbeatrice

LOL! Thank you, Jen for making me laugh today! (it was the octomom comment that put it over the top of the chuckle scale.)

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

So the last one is a Tennessee Volunteers cake so that would explain why it sucks at life.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJD

Mm, orange uterus cakes, yummy yum.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermochaxlight

Honestly, on the last one I saw a uterus, and the words, Wow! 25in!
I'm thinking, Oh my God, huge baby!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those poor jellyfish are on their way to heaven! In a little jellyfish graveyard!

And I don't know why you'd need a size 8 IUD, and how you win with that, but Go Team!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I didn't read ALL of the comments because there are so many. So, I don't know if anyone said it yet but the last one, I'm assuming, is suppose to be Cal Ripkin's jersey. The graveyard thing was a good call. I couldn't see it. Thanks for another funny one.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWreck-follower

Ok, the first one I think is a Ski-Doo water thing. The squinty one is a graveyard (or so it says, I don't think it qualifies?. The TNT I still don't see, looks more like a wacky basketball hoop. And the last one is a jersey for a very very skinny player. Or so I hope.

wv-porlymon "After looking at those cakes, my eyes feel real porlymon."

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJuno

Ooh, ohh, I know! I know! It's black jellyfish playing volleyball in a graveyard! Right?

That's what I would want for my birthday...

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Great and Powerful Mom

Dude, that jellyfish cake is a graveyard. It took me the better part of 30 seconds to figure it out.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkydiving Ducklings

Ouch! These were painful to look at. I could not figure out the jelly fish one and finally cheated by looking at the comments, I just couldn't put that much effort in on a Friday night. I'm pretty sure the first one is supposed to be a ski boat.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlalock

Lizard said...

The third one down, it's a graveyard. It says graveyard one way and RIP on the tombstones the other way. I am so glad I figured that out, that would have bothered me so much!

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Isn't a crab arthropodic, not anthropodic? Seriously, which one is it?

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatasha

I'm fairly sure that last one is Hungry from Weight Watchers fame. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/02/this-is-how-you-show-hungry-whos-boss.html

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNell

I guess I'm the only one who, when looking at wreck number 1, saw a sideways horse head with a freaky stripey bridle. I've looked at the darn thing three times and that's still the only thing I can see. As a jetski it's a big fail, but it would make a half way decent horse head if it was all brown and the bridle was a bit less...um...bondagey.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

That orange CCC is totally a headless body builder. The 8 indicates that instead of the normal 6-pack abs, he has an 8-pack.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQueenKatofTypos

I'll be probably considered wrong...But maybe the cookie cake is a reference to Steve Irwin...Jelly fish and graveyard both mixed together?? (im sure you could find a ray in that mess)

Now, how much toothpaste it takes to get that orange off your teeth after you dare eat the ..uterus..."cake"?

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

seriously spent a good amount of time sounding out "ummm gravey... yard." RIGHT. graveyard.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhessica

Your commentary is so hilarious that at times the mere set-up to a joke has me laughing in stitches before I'm even anywhere near the punch line!!!!

I have this blog permanently open in my web browser tabs, so I can refresh it every chance I get and receive my day's quota of delicious laughter.

Thank you for being so clever, and sharing it with all online!!!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValentina

*GROAN*

When I saw the last one, I pleaded with the gods above that it wasn't a University of Tennessee "Power T". Then I read the comments...my worst fears were confirmed.

I am a student of this school. Please, PLEASE do not think that whoever did this "cake" (HOCK-patooie!) is a representative of the Volnation.

I am so embarrassed...

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

...you mean that last one -isn't- a uterus? Maybe I look at too much etsy stuff...

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter12 hour pills

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