My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Because We Need More Holidays

It's been SO LONG since Halloween, and Thanksgiving isn't 'til Thursday, so what's a bakery to do?

Invent a holiday that goes in-between, of course! So...

Merry Hallowgiving!

Yep, for this fun holiday, vampire pilgrims will chase you through jellyfish graveyards and attempt to force-feed you turkey.*

And after THAT, we'll have Thankmas:

...during which we'll all desperately try to avoid actually using the term "Thankmas" for fear of offending someone, and poo tornadoes will emblazon every hearth. Aww. Don't you just love the holidays winter?

Kate F., & Nikki B., I think "winter, underlined" is going to be my holiday greeting of choice this year. Care to start a trend with me?

- Related Wreckage: The cake that has "winter" underlined on it.

*For some reason I initially had "turkey" capitalized. When I proof-read it later, I wondered why (not to mention how) a zombie pilgrim would try to force-feed someone a Mediterranean country. Which made me snort. Loudly. I even considered leaving it. But we all know what would happen then, right? EPCOT. Yeeeah.

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Reader Comments (82)

Happy Poo Tornadoes day everybody! We needed another holiday, Falker Satherhood is so far away! And now I'm going to go round singing "Walking In A Winter Underlined" for the next few days. Even though it's Summer here.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

@NikkiK: That, was, Epc0t!

@jen: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!! and a non descript Winter (underlined) season to you too!

PS forgive me a quote "...I'm open to suggestions, Frost-giving, the Frost of July, Frost-hog day..."

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

I'm not seeing the hippo--more like a manatee I think, real stubby front flippers!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

As someone from the southern hemisphere, I find the term 'winter' offensive. I vote we adopt the phrase 'Happy particular time of the year'.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Who is in charge of the screening process to hire these cake decorators? SERIOUSLY, I need to know!

Mud, mud, glorious mud
Nothing quite like it for....
turning the stomach!

@Harry F: awesome, science-geek-cake-jokes rule!

MC from NZ

WV: I've stared in hororr at the wrceks so long, my conreas are hurting!

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

what i would really like to do is ask for the people who ordered both of those cakes what they were possibly thinking. like, gravy dripping from fangs? and why is his face yellow? is he having food poisoning? poo tornadoes {snicker}

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermllymoo22

Is it possible that the vampire cake was someone's pathetic attempt to make a New Moon (Twilight) cake? Trying to capitalize on the moving just coming out maybe? Just a guess.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

Why, of course -- these cakes are just in time for Sucksgiving, which happens to be on Nov. 22!

Read more about the modern holiday of Sucksgiving here:

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDelibird

"and poo tornadoes will emblazon every hearth"

You realize you're a literary genius, right? This has a kind of neo-Dickensian quality to odd twist to "A Christmas Carol." God bless us every one, indeed.


November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you're desperate for a post Halloween holiday, what better than Hallowmas, the day after Hallowmas?

Lest the rest of us not forget Festivus, where you set up a bare aluminum pole (nevermind the distracting tinsel,) air grievances at relatives, give cards to "the Human Fund," and have a Feats of Strength wrestling match to end the day.

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwackplayer

Are you sure that's a Thankmas cake? I thought for sure it was to raise awareness for a clean colon.
Get a colonoscopy...and a piece of cake. Poo=Delicious

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Lol at the "Turkey" edit. I found it especially funny because I moved to Turkey 5 months ago.

People are always so shocked when I tell them you can't find turkeys in Turkey. Like, SHOCKED. Did people really believe the two had anything to do with each other? They probably also believe that all the people in Hungry are starving.

Turkeys are native to North America and aren't common in Europe and Asia, so I will be making roast chicken for this year's holiday. Not the same, but still delicious!

Thanks as always for the laughs.

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen512

Ahh yes. Nothing says holidays to me more than whirlwinds of excreta. Especially the ones with multi-hued M+Ms stuck in their odiferous funnels....

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

Are you really not over "Epcot" YET? It's well past time to move on.

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@anony./9:43p.m.-- ...which could be shortened to just, "Happy."

(Though it may still be offensive to the depressed.)

Festivus for the restivus!

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen lives in the Land of Epcot, and she can Epcot all she wants. Epcot away, Jen!

wv: trony-- She can be trony, too, if she feels like it. :P

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

what Michelle said... POO TORNADOS HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I'm dying over here!

Happy Thanksoween Jen!

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

at least the Hallowgiving cake recognizes Thanksgiving, rather than some certain theme parks (one of which may or may not be my employer) which start having their Christmas parties the week after the last of the Halloween parties.

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSyracuseWolvrine

Holy sh*t (heh) - you had me at "poo tornadoes".

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrenches of Mommyhood

LOL @Julie regarding "December, underlined"!

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Funny family ACTUALLY celebrates Thanksmas every year. Due to snowbird grandparents, we have Thanksgiving on Thursday and Christmas on Friday. It's a GREAT holiday - don't knock it 'til you try it!

November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

Um, Jen, when you said Epcot, you meant Spaceship Earth, right? Hopefully, 75 more people will follow my lead and make the same comment...else you won't lern nuthin! :)

November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poo Cornucopias just scream holiday cheer to me.

(oh dear Lord)

WV: Ingstin: I wouldn't be ingstin these cakes if you paid me!

November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I actually snorted at this one. Epcot. Winter Underlined. I'm embracing it ALL!

November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

LOL! Very funny! ;)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercatholicgirl247

Good job, y'all! That final turkey/Turkey comment made me snort out loud in an otherwise very VERY quiet office.

Thanks for the laugh, really. This day was sucking badly till that.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterp jane

I am rolling. Poo tornadoes? Good stuff.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGina

"poo tornadoes" !!!!!!!! I just found your blog and I am sitting here wiping the tears from laughter !

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfabulousfinishes

I barely recovered enough from the last post to read this one, and I can't stop laughing now...

Thank you for improving my day every time I read this blog. Thank you so much.

Happy holidays.

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercmccrzy

And if you look at the poop tornado at the top, it looks like a hippo. :)

January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG!! I am in stitches!! I have spent my day at work thumbing through the cake disasters and bursting out loud with laughter to the bemused looks of my work collegues. I am soooo grateful that you spend the time loading these wrecks onto the site for our amusement it certainly made a dull day a lot brighter.

Tank Ewe Vebby Mush, Alison

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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