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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov252009

Really? I Mean, Really?!? (Yes, MORE Turkey Wrecks)

Apparently my top "20" ways to wreck a turkey cake just weren't enough for you guys. I know this because some of you are:

a) complaining that the past two days' Wrecks don't technically add up to 20, and

fork) still sending in a truly dizzying array of Wreckage that simply must be shared.

These include gems like...

the Clown Turkey.
[insert joke about a funny taste here]

The Electrocuted Turkey:

Shocking!

The Albino Technicolor Dream Coat Turkey:

At least it's pretty. Which is more than I can say for...

The Vortex of Insanity!!! Turkey:

Someone, somewhere, actually thought this was a good idea. Let's take a moment to really let the impact of that sink in, shall we?

Some of you requested more non-cupcake-cake Turkey Wrecks, though. Nooo problem.

[rapid blinking]

Uh...How do you feel about cupcake Turkey Wrecks?

Turkey snails!
(Just one question: how do you pick them up?)

Rasta Turkey Snails!
(With...chicken heads? Ok. Sure. Why not?)

Ok, Ok, now for some "real" cakes:

Well, the *turkey* looks pretty good, but that green pterodactyls attacking him could use a little work.

And lastly, here's a foul fowl that could give the Coiled Crap Hound a run for its money:

Sweet Steaming Swirls of Stacked Shh...er...Sherbert!! Yeah.
That sorry sucker sure seems surprised.

Jen D., Jaime H., Jen L., Amanda S., Gloria C., Jen P., Bonnie L., & Elaine M., don't look at me like that; I'm sure there's chocolate sherbert*
somewhere.

- Related Wreckage: And Now, a Word from Your Thanksgiving Turkey Cakes

* Also spelled "sherbet", "shebert" and "shrbrt".

« In Which Happy Tanks SHOULD Be Given, But Are Not | Main | Talkin' Turkey Tuesday, Too »

Reader Comments (111)

Why is it so hard to make a turkey cake and get it right? I didn't make one for my girlfriend this year but I;ve made several and the worst I've ever done was not have a twinkie to make the head with!

How come no one can manage to get this right? I mean it's really not that hard!

My trick it to bake the cakes in a pyrex bowl, a 8 inch, and 9 inch pie pans and then putting them together. Even without my trick it appalls me how bad they do at this.

I'm going to go at pull out my hair now....

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Bradbury

Question: Does piling obscene amounts of icing on a regular sized cupcake qualify it for being a "Jumbo" Cupcake?

Also, I'm impressed with these wrecks. Of all the holiday wrecks out there, Thanksgiving wrecks seem to be the most consistent. Yay Turkey Wrecks!!

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Strangely, after looking at the posts for the past three days, I find that I have NO IDEA what a turkey looks like anymore. Sort of a chicken-snail with curlicues? An orange peacock? A brown rooster with a fluorescent squirrel's tail?!?!?

(Off to watch some nature videos and attempt to regain some semblance of sanity...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermabila

vortex of insanity cake is sad and scary. sheetcake turkey looks to me like some sort of clam with seaweed stuck to it. the turkey cupcakes, particularly the second ones, are simply alarming. i agree that thanksgiving is a pie holiday. the only way to wreck a pie is to drop it.
-helen
wv: binests: these cakes have binests-tremely fun to look at!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The turkey snails look more like turkey hedgehogs to me. They're kind of cute, but I have no idea how you would pick them up either.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRattlesnake

The first cake is not a turkey. It is Homey D. Clown from the In Living Color sketch show. For some reason his head has been stuck on the front of a block of cake. It's just one more instance of the Man trying to keep a brother down.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

Sorry, those are not turkey snails. They are obviously turkey hedgehogs. Much better.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

They all look like turkeys mated with Alf.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDecadent Housewife

LMAO! Oh, these are great.

I do think the turkey snails/hedgehogs are kinda cute. Maybe these were made for those eating contests where you have your hands tied behind your back. Although that would make the paper part difficult...but hey - the markings of a true champion is overcoming great odds, right? Ha!

Happy Thanksgiving, Ya'll!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Is the vortex turkey a 'Total Perspective Vortex' turkey, which exposes your brain to the true vastness of the universe and drives you completely insane? There was definitely cake involved in *that* Vortex... ( Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy reference; the book/radio play, not the movies)...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAvocado_Triffid

But... I *like* the Electrocuted Turkey! It's kind of stylish, and it has this confidence to the design that most real Wrecks lack. I would happily eat it.

Speaking of eating, am I the only one whom it strikes as slightly weird that people apparently feel the need to represent their food/prey with such festive, happy-looking, even anthropomorphic imagery?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHanna

I kinda think that the Amazing Albino Technicolor Turkey is kinda cute, in a "so ugly I'm adorable" way.....anyone else?

he looks like he needs a hug.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMJC

I went to VA Tech, so I must say I do appreciate a turkey cake, in all its wrecked glory ... GO HOKIES! And Happy Thanksgiving!

the first set of snail cupcake turkeys it actually cute, though. I could eat themall up (if my blood sugar wouldn't suffer for it).

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh.my.goodness.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervirginia

Wow... there are no words... except maybe to say that the last one is really crappy-looking. (Couldn't resist, sorry!) :P

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

the poo turkey has me cracking up laughing! Not sure if it is the way it looks or just the word "poo"!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sometimes I have have to wonder if there is really cake under all the frosting...just soooo much frosting!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My first thought at seeing the Albino Technicolor Dream Coat Turkey: NBC Peacock...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJim Todd

Hey, I like the albino technicolor one - that's pretty good! Or else my standards have dropped. Tough to say.

-Holly

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

See, now, I thought the albino turkey looked more like a dove wearing a flamenco dancer skirt.

Ole'!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes, chocolate sorbet:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/chocolate-sorbet-recipe/index.html

Which is way more appetizing that THAT thing! Love the posts!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

**i tried to quickly scan the comments so i'm not sure if someone already said this**

That last one is a real TURDkey!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara_in_WA

I'm giving thanks for you - thank you! I so needed this laugh, today!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRJ Flamingo

Joy said...
I'm starting to wonder if there is such a thing as an attractive Thanksgiving cake, or turkey cake. Although, I'm not sure I'd ever really want my cake to look like a turkey. That just confuses my sense.

---

Well there is my turkey cakes that I have made. I made this one because our pumpkins didn't grow that year. Anyway have a look.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/Isolder74/TurkeyActivistFront.jpg

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Bradbury

awwww.....give a decorator a break, some of those were cute...and we aren't talking about full on culinary school grads. A+ for effort (and likeness!)....even if the cake got lost in the "cream"

besos
jenn

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I suddenly do not want my Godiva Double chocolate cheesecake. I will have poop etched into my brain after those last few. Yuck!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLyn

I thought about this when I went into Carvel today and saw a cake of a turkey with a nose ring (well, that IS what it looked like...)

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

People are getting bored with the same old turkey every year. It's about time we added in a new form of animal.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda B

OK, so I have to cast my vote FOR the Technicolor Albino Turkey - festive, colorful, and ... mutant. And the same for the cancan turkey cupcakes - that I think look more like mini-pinatas. (You've heard of Whack a mole? This could be Twack a Turkey.)

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah in California

The clown is terrifying. The facial hair baffles me. Someone must really hate Thanksgiving to make something so horrific. Did I mention I hate clowns? Gahhhhh!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

The first set of Turkey cupcakes remind me of hedgehogs rather than snails...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

rasta chicken.... bwa ha ha ha... along with the swirl sh.... shudder.. but more bwa ha ha....
who knew there were so many ways to wreck the turkey cake. Perhaps your president should be pardoning the bakers rather than the fowl?

just thinkin it....

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarieA

The poo turkey literally stinks! haha
~Amy B-H

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Oh Geez, love the last poop cake! Mmmm, nothing says yummy like a coiled doo doo!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

Dem ain't no turkey snails! Dem's nudibranchs! http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2008/06/nudibranchs/doubilet-photography

Your welcome.

Noni

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

OMG...Vortex of Insanity Turkey looks like he's wearing a fall-colored clown wig!! These are all remarkably BAD!! But, then that's why we love them LOL

Happy Turkey Day everyone!!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLemurQueen

Fact: Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey, instead of the eagle, to be our national symbol. But before you start feeling glad it didn't happen that way, wait until you see what the Wreckorators do with eagles!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

That turdkey looks like it got caught in a trash compactor.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwolly

Gobble gobble gobble....actually, do you mind if I don't? So much colouring and sugar....hallucinating now...

Noni Mausa, those nudibranches are COOL!!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Truly, the harvest has been bountiful this Thanksgiving. Thank you wreckerators, and thank you Jen.

I do mean that...the last few days have been extra awesome because there are so many wrecks featured! Not to confuse my holidays (because that was from a few days ago), but it's kind of like Christmas to get so much awesomeness in one day.

--kate

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

before i read what you had to say after the cupcake wrecks, the first thing i thought was 'how do you pick those things up?!?' and then i read your caption, and couldn't stop laughing! the rest of the post didn't help either. turkeys are so funny to me now!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBriii

Yes, and turkeys also don't have a stitch of orange or yellow on them. Brown, grey, black, creamy white, irridiscent (sp?), or I have seen all white domesticated ones, but really, orange and yellow? I'd be worried about the mutant genes in that one.
Erin G.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just thought of another thing Technicolor Dream Coat turkey reminded me of. If you've ever seen "That 70s Show," you'll know that transitions between scenes are marked with one or more of the characters doing a dance or something in front of a crazy, technicolored, 70s background. That's sort of what this turkey looks like.

--kate

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks Caroline, nudibranchs are cool indeed. The bright colours are to advertise their poisonousness to predators, I think.

(Hey, waitaminute! Do you think the Turkey cakes? ... nah...)

For extra fun points, look up video of Spanish Dancer nudibranchs.

Noni

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

I love the vortex of insanity turkey. It may not look like a turkey but there's something funky about it.

Is it bad that I just had a "OMG, I could totally make that!" moment over the turkey cupcakes? Sure it was only 3 seconds till my brain thought to question why on earth I'd want to but in those 3 seconds it managed to list the colors and tips and method necessary.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

I'm pretty sure "Vortex Turkey" is actually The Lion King- Live on Broadway.
"Remember Who You Are. . . "

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, Nanny Ogg would definitely say (or sing) that those Turkey Snails can never be buggered at all.

Though if one of these decoraters wrote it down, they'd probably spell it "bugered."

Or possibly "bugled."

Does anyone know whether Wilton instructors are now required to warn decorating students about Cake Wrecks? I can just see adding the book to the list of required supplies.

"And this, you see, is the dreaded Poo Swirl. You will avoid it, on pain of--pain."

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNonie

The vortex turkey looks like it's sporting dreadlocks. Is it Jamacian?

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake Wrecks aren't made they are born!! :)
Happy Thanksgiving to one of my fave delish sites (it IS still CAKE of course I would eat a wreck anytime :) )

http://happylolday.blogspot.com/2009/11/coming-to-life-104-happy-thanksgiving.html

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC Merry

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