My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

New Discoveries in the Animal Kingdom

I believe that all new scientific discoveries should be announced via cake, don't you?

[pushing back glasses and consulting clipboard] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present...

The Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!

Or it might be a fish. know. Whatevs.

[Shuffling papers] Next we have...

The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)

We're still working on the scientific name for this one:

So for now let's just call it the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.
(I think that has a real ring to it, don't you?)

Here we have a particularly colorful specimen:

The Majestic Disco Newt! Let's pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

Right. That's long enough.

And finally, we have...

The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad.
(Yeah, you heard me. ZooBorns, eat your heart out.)

Thanks to Kelly D., Kit R., Caitlin B., Jordan J. and Donald L., who are all, er, majestic.

- Related Wreckage: Sideshow Slideshow

« Sporty Spice Cakes | Main | Call Me! »

Reader Comments (190)

Short time reader; first time commenter...
Normally, your blog makes me smile, usually a chuckle and on occasions a hearty laugh. This morning, I lost it. The person I was on the phone with was worried I wasn't breathing. I am addicted to your site. If only I could get paid for reading it all day. Thank you for the smiles.

I agree with MarliO - two toads who love reeeeeally love each other. This should be a particularly special discovery since toads lay eggs. So many things to say, not enough room.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Simon the Disco Newt interests me strangely...

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLon

That first creature looks like it is begging to be put out of it's misery...Dr. Moreau strikes again.

That's not a crap-hound (I have two of those at home..) it's obviously a mole......made of crap......hmmmmm

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Well done Cake Wrecks... but where is the majestic and elusive Fennec Hare - ?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterzooborns

That first one is interesting. :)

I actually feel bad for the hound. It looks so sad. I do love the random patches of grass around it, though.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNic

Hahaha! When I saw the "Majestic Coiled Crap Hound" I instantly started singing "Single Ladies" in my head!

If you like it then you should have put a ring on it....

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

oh my! thoes are beyond gross!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

Am I the only one who thinks the Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad is kinda cute in a disturbing, mutated sort of way? Though I see it as more of a strange (and terrified, for perfectly understandable reasons) zebra-frog-mouse hybrid...

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Laughing my face off!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball

I feel like I've been visiting the zoo....
on Jupiter.
I don't know which one I like the best.... its a toss up between the Newt (I love disco) and the Zebra Toad.

Your names of the animals rock!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Coiled crap hound?

I'm going to have nightmares!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterS3XinthePantry

Aw, I like the disco newt/turtle. He looks like that old electronic game "Simon", where the colored buttons would light up in some order and you had to hit them in the same order.


November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Crap Hound!" ROFL

Amy B-H

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Hi! I was at the NY sardine can yesterday evening, and it was great to meet you both! My one regret is not asking John to do his Swedish Chef impression. I love me some Bork Bork Bork!!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Ahh! This was one of the funniest things I have ever read! My husband and I were practically in tears, we were laughing so hard. Brilliant!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren S.

A lot of these look like they need to just give in and ring down the curtain and join the bleeding choir invisibule!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

Are we sure the coild craphound isn't a Puli?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDuncan

I like Meg's idea of a name takes the, uh, cake. The craphound shall forever be "Turdadillo" in my mind. Now if only I could get it out of my mind.

I think the four-eyed zebra toad must be a dalmation, right? Right? Please tell me they had some real creature in mind when they made this.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the disco newt is kind of cute. The other ones are just..???

WV: kentre. I kentre cognize any of these animals.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFamous Hat

The Majestic Disco Newt is my definite favourite. It has nothing to do with the excellently placed Monty Python reference :D

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Spanish Inquisitor

What do you get when you cross a mole, an armadillo, a pig and a LARGE bottle of laxatives?

A Coiled Crap Hound!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrism

I love the Disco Newt! I'd give it a good home.

The others? Oh, dear. I hope they're the last of their species, because they need to be extinct (especially the first one!).

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Holy Crap! er, hound.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura (in PA)

What really creeps me out about that last one is that it almost looks like if you were to spin the cake board around, you would be greeted by yet another face. Perhaps they had a motherload of white and black icing to use up?

Turdadillo for sure on Crap Hound.

And the poor bagel-nosed falcon looks afraid of itself; almost as if it's just peeked a glance in the mirror and thought, "Good God, what is that thing?"

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBek

Am I the only one who sees a bit of human anatomy to the right side of the bagel face?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterryber

Let me be the 50th to say it, The Majestic Disco Newt ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Majestic Dicso Newt looks like a toy I once had

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

I thought it was pretty telling when my very imaginative 4 and 6 year olds came up and asked me "Mom, what is that?" as I viewed the first one and then just looked more and more confused as I scrolled down!

Great post, as ALWAYS!

WV: reddiest - Bakery owner to employee: Did you finish those animal cakes? Wreckerator to boss: Yeah, but I think the brown dog will be reddiest if I add some grass.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm glad I'm not the only one to have spotted the Pythonism, but really, it needs to be written in the accent. So as a tribute to usenet days of old:


boo'iful plumage!


(PS You can go nerd-fishing even amongst a group of RPGers by naming your character Notlob, and then find the true hard-core nerds by who responds that that's not a palindrome either.)

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

They are all so cute! Wrecktastic, yes, but cute!

Erm, except for maybe the coiled-crap-hound. I'd have to give him away to my hairstylist.

WV: tersi... a possible name for the bagel-nosed little critter?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

One of your best posts. EVAH!
My fave is the cute Disco Newt. Even the words Disco Newt are hella cute.
I could read a hundred of those! More, more, moooooooore!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

I'm a little worried...are doughnut cakes going to be the next craze? Watch out cupcakes! You're going down!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanika


November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are so funny! Great finds, you deserve a prize for being able to come up with such witty and funny names and comments.

You are my new idol when it comes to great names and witty comments.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDarla: Retro Ways

I am putting a Post-It next to my computer, reminding me not to look at this blog until after noon, just in case. This all came too early in the day. Yikes!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a Texan, I can tell you with complete confidence that the third critter is an armadillo. However, that is still no excuse. - Kate B.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Is the craphound being served up with a garnish of parsley? That shows excellent taste.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiminycricket

Majestic Disco Newt... AHHHH!
You're killing me XD
*wiping away tear*


November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought maybe the Coiled Craphound was supposed to be a Shar-Pei. (Is that how you spell it?)

Funniest post in ages. Thanks for the belly laughs!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Jen and John--Thanks for a great evening in NYC in the Sardine Can Without Restrooms! It was worth it just to hear your story and meet you. Also, thanks for the gorgeous prize necklace--love it!

Karen "Cookie Monster" Hoy

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They all look like they are about ready to be pushing up the daisies!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

I would humbly suggest the name "poomadillo" for the brown.... majestic thingy.


November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKris

Just got busted at work because I was laughing so hard at the "coiled crap hound".

Thanks for the laughs. Totally worth it. =)

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Majestic Coiled Crap-Hound" is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life. You two are seriously the best! Srsly.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatacita

The Majestic Coiled Crap Hound is my favorite!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

disco newt looks like a beachball! lol and my boyfriend had so much fun last night he is now a reader!! lol thanks!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn with a y

These are all so fabulous, but I'm thinking that the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound might actually be the lesser known PooPotamus. I mean, it's fat, low to the ground.... Just sayin'.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Love the names. These are craptacular.

The bagel-nosed whatever made me think of that Office episode in which Charles first visited the Scranton office, and to "welcome" him, Michael bought bagels and ripped out a bit of each one to make the bagels look like Cs. (For "charles." get it?)


November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Hey! That coiled wrinkly dog is no Shar-Pei! That's a Shar-Poo!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDennis

This just made my day. Learning about new species, my favorite being Simon the Majestic Disco Newt (I still giggle every time I see it), AND some well-placed Pythonisms? Love it. LOVE. Keep up the awesome work, Jen and John!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndi

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>