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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov042009

New Discoveries in the Animal Kingdom

I believe that all new scientific discoveries should be announced via cake, don't you?

[pushing back glasses and consulting clipboard] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present...

The Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!

Or it might be a fish. Fish...falcon...you know. Whatevs.


[Shuffling papers] Next we have...

The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)

We're still working on the scientific name for this one:

So for now let's just call it the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.
(I think that has a real ring to it, don't you?)

Here we have a particularly colorful specimen:

The Majestic Disco Newt! Let's pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

Right. That's long enough.

And finally, we have...


The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad.
(Yeah, you heard me. ZooBorns, eat your heart out.)

Thanks to Kelly D., Kit R., Caitlin B., Jordan J. and Donald L., who are all, er, majestic.

- Related Wreckage: Sideshow Slideshow

« Sporty Spice Cakes | Main | Call Me! »

Reader Comments (189)

Best yet! I'm sure my cube neighbor is wondering why I'm laughing so loud. I'm usually either very quiet or grumbling about something.

Love the Zebra Toad.

The only ones I could really make a guess at what they were supposed to be were the first one (fish, as suggested) and the Crap Hound, which I think might be supposed to be a mole.

WV: whabi--Whabi that cake, man? It don't look like nuttin' to me!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

And here I thought the first one was a sheep!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Eeeeee!

I actually really like the bagel-nosed falcon and the disco newt. They have...character.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Am I the only one that recognizes the Michelin Man's pet dog? Or Kermit the Frog's Gay Pride Parade costume?

wv: speridd
The green food coloring was certainly not speridd in decorating the Roadrunner's St. Patrick's Day outfit.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

Hmmm...that Coiled Crap Hound bears a remarkable resemblance to a morbidly obese dachshund that I've met. Her legs couldn't keep her up either - so sad, a slow kill with kindness.

Love the names, just about spit my coffee at the CCH moniker!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia A.

Re: the first, uh, cake: Would I be right in thinking that it would be in incredibly bad taste (heh!) to make a reference to Michael Jackson? OK, I won't then.

wv: lousti
What a lousti thing to say.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

"watch out... they spit"

AMAZING incognito Aladdin reference. Well done!!!

-Emily from Ohio State University!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss_Emm

Is it just me or does the bagel-nosed creature look like he's begging you to spare his life? Is PETA behind this cake?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristie

I think the coiled crap hound is supposed to be an armadillo..perhaps a cousin of the coiled crap hound.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebra

Just wanted to let you know Cake Wrecks is mentioned on our blog today: http://3tnar.blogspot.com/2009/11/picture-book-catch-up.html

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter3T

The Majestic Coiled Crap Hound - looks like it may have some Yak in his lineage.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

I thought the first one was a lamb! But I do love the Disco Newt and teh Zebra Toad. I want both on a tshirt! X3

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmm, Disco Newt looks like a Fraggle to me.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

I think Disco Newt is supposed to be Epcot.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTSFN

True Anecdote from Last Night in NYC:

A man saw all of us crowded into the tiny event space and asked Kyle (the bookstore events coordinator) what kind of event it was. Kyle replied, "The book is called "Cake Wrecks." The man asked, "Is this book of a metaphysical nature?"

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren H.

I've got to say the Newt reminds me of that Simon game...

Ahhh...childhood memories. Hated that thing.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternelsonturf

Everyone keeps mentioning the Disco Newt as something from a Simon game... but has anyone considered this?

http://www.likerpg.com/Database/MapleStory/Images/Monsters/37991234.jpeg

Courtesy of some classic MapleStory WTF.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWillow

Did you know that Cakewrecks is mentioned in the book section of this weeks Peoples Magazine?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJara

OMG, I just accidentally click on the Coiled Crap Hound and it blew up and took over my screen. It scared the . . . well, it scared me. For a second. Then I just felt sorry for it and its scraggly tufts of grass. Oh, poor Poo Hound!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The newt reminds me of Fraggle Rocks

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss B

Loving the "Aladdin" reference!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathi in NJ

I'm with Gary on that hound looking like an armadillo. I thought it was supposed to be an armadillo something when I saw it!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Delaney

I think this is the first time I've posted on here. MAJESTIC COILED CRAP HOUND!!! That is the funniest thing ever! I was dying laughing. I think this is my new exclamatory remark. My friends and I do really dumb ones like saying Noodles! or something equally lame on purpose. Now I have Majestic Coiled Crap Hound! Thank you Cake Wrecks!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris

The brown thing has to be a "turdle".

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranke-art

WTF?!

that all i've got to say

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

There actually is an animal with the scientific name "Magnificent Frigatebird". But of course, you already knew that.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelbo

The Majestic Diso Newt isn't a newt, that's Filbert from Rocco's Modern Life!!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If I had a band, I'd totally name it "Majestic Disco Newt."

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Our first speciman:
a Henson original,
dipped in a fine glaze.

wv: ovenis

Your ovenis in rebellion, refusing to let you bake anymore.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I like that they are all majestic, even if not so much. Also, the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound may be very closely related to the armadillo or perhaps just too many bean burritos.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to stop reading this in class because it's too difficult not to laugh out loud. Thanks for the laughs! (and for the signing in NY!)

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLil (aka not Katie)

For the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound, I would suggest the name "Turd-adillo"

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That Green thing could be Iguana roadkill.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Too funny! I have no idea if there is any animal anywhere in the universe that actually looks like that!! But, seriously, wouldn't it make a terrific stuffed toy?? Its just drop dead cute in a weird way.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMellodee

OH MY GOSH!!! I loved them all, but the Disco Newt- I LOL'ed at that one for several minutes!

DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

I thought the first one was a sheep. Am I alone on that?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSparky

I think you are mistaken about the identity of number 3... it is obviously a breed of Shih Tzu

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDelilah

I can't believe I am going to confess this, but I just shot milk out of my nose when I read "Majestic Coiled Crap Hound"
So unbelievably funny!

I have to go get cleaned up...

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Does the colorful one remind anyone else of a Chinese Checkers board?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommentertheRachel

My son and I also had the first impression of the Simon game upon seeing the Disco Newt. However, it was the toad-thing that did us both in. My ice cream nearly was splattered across the monitor and not only did I laugh so hard I cried, but my sides now ache as well! From one who works in a zoo, thanks for your best "animal" post yet!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenntoo

This post made me laugh so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes! I love the disco newt. Where can I get me one of those?

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I'm in love with the disco newt!

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The disco newt - looks like a fraggle!!!

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

This reminds me of the dalmation I used to see in my childhood nightmare...guess I'm sleeping with the TV on tonight!

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFreddie

"coiled crap hound"

i like it. (c:

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstephonix

copropup :)

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdykewife

Aww, I kind of want to adopt the coiled craphound too. He looks quite embarassed of his unfortunately crappy skin condition.

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNoelle

i think the brown thing is supposed to be a tardigrade

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Majestic Disco Newt. Looks just like the giant, flattened, crocheted turtle my little sister received for Christmas circa 1980.

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ooooh Oooooh! Disco Newt! Ooooh Oooooh!

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

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