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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Dec102009

Chappy Chanukah

Carly e-mailed yesterday to chastise my current completely-Christmas collection of carnage. She asked that I share some equal-opportunity Wreckage for my Jewish homies to "enjoy."

Now, I can only work with what I'm given, so please don't take my excessive postings of Santa and Frosty and Poo-dolph as any kind of religious bias. Believe me, I will snicker equally at Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and even Winter Solstice Wreckage if given the chance.

Trouble is, those holidays just don't score many cakes. Still, let's see what we've got in the ol' Wrecks files, shall we?

[shuffle shuffle shuffle]

Ok, here's something: how about a little clashing blue icing, plastic flotsam, and an "ak"?:

I would make a crack about the KKK hiding out in "Hanukkak," but I think that might be construed as bad taste.

Still, could be worse, right? Can you imagine what would happen if a Wreckerator tried to draw the menorah or Star of David or dreidel?

Nah, me neither. But that's ok: I have examples. Heehee!

Here we have some (Ninja) Stars of David:

Yep, that's the trouble with tracing. Still, if you think of this as a Jewish Ninja's celebration cake, then it's actually pretty darn cool. (See, they're off to the side because they're in motion. Eh?)
(And yes, I double-checked: it's professional.)

Unfortunately I couldn't find a good dreidel Wreck - but I think this "Menorah" more than makes up for it:

Time to light the alien ribcage!

So to all my Jewish readers: Happy Hanukkah! Please send more Wrecks.

And in the meantime, I think people of all nations and beliefs can come together, get along, and enjoy spectacles like this:

"Who's laughing now, fat boy?!?"

Speaking of ninjas, Seisen, Jennifer, Beth C., & Jenna W., have you seen the ninja nursery John & I painted for our friends? Granted, it has nothing to do with cakes, but I get the feeling this is the right demographic for that sort of thing.

- Related Wreckage: Goy Gaffes

« Catchin' the Spirit | Main | Santa Shockers »

Reader Comments (128)

That nursery is fully AWESOME!!!!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

oh my goodness!! that nursery is freakin' awesome! i wish i were a kid so i could have a nursery as cool as that one! come paint my house!!! :)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHazel Langrall

Those reindeer and santas are wearing snuggies. Awesome.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAZ Larsens

Awesome job on the nursery!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJ & H Avenson

I'm jewish and I've never seen a decorated cake with a chanukah theme. Not that they don't exist, I've just never seen them. More common in my house were sugar cookies that we cut out in the shapes of menorahs, stars, etc and decorated with blue sugar.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good one...
As a Jew (from Israel) I wanted to say that sadly, we are not so much cake folks- more pastry people...

A few things that made those cake even more wrecky for me-
1. The Hebrew letters on the plastic dreidel are backwards.

2. The Star of David looks more like the Holocaust yellow patches the Jews had to wear, more then the Star of David we usually use (just look at the Israeli flag)

3. The Menorah left me speechless- now that will drip wax all over the floor!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhagar

I LOVE the ninja nursery!! Why do you have to be WAY down in Florida!?
My 12 year old daughter was just complaining last week that she couldn't find anything with blue ninjas. All 5 of my kids (ages 2 to 12, 1 boy) think this is awesome.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

I believe the correct term is *Nin-jew* stars of David.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The alien ribcage is exactly that, no matter what you may think it really is (menorah, indeed!).

wv: unbrane
What the cake wreckerators do before arriving to work.
****

That is a seriously cute nursery. And I, being the mother of two boys, am totally miffed this was not around 7-10 years ago.
Adorable work, guys!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

In the first wreck, the plastic is upside down- the letters in Hebrew on the dreidel reveal it...

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me or does the first cake say "Hippy", rather than "Happy"?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "Menorah" made me think of an Indian god, such as Vishnu, Kali or Shiva, with its head cut off.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenestria

Alien ribcage, or flaming alien facehugger? You decide

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Wow on the nursery. Very cool!

wv: pharanta; Santa in Egypt.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

Are we sure that's an alien ribcage? It looks a lot like the scorpion box puzzle in one of my computer games.

...assuming the scorpion box was being recreated by someone who hadn't seen the game or a scorpion, that is.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergamingkitty

Those aren't ninja stars. They're badges for sheriff Greenberg and Ottermeyer. The staff took up a collection for a more realistic cake, but they shiny gold leaf wasn't kosher.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Awesome nursery!

Very ... interesting representation for Chanukah. What scares me the most is these people obviously think these look GOOD! Good for us that they do.

P.S. Got my NMBCJ necklace and bookplate today. "Brilliant!" Thanks. ;-)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMyCatsRule

Ninja nursery = EPIC WIN

Hanukkah(k) blunders = EPIC FAIL

(Seriously, 'Hanukkahk' sounds like a cat coughing something up. Or if they were trying to say "Hanukkah cake" and just ran it together to save time.)

WV: Heark-- "Hear--kkkhh!!--Whoa, 'scuse me. 'Hark the herald angels siiing...'"

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Look Santa and the deer are in snuggies!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

Oh my goodness, that nursery is beautiful! What talented people you are.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamsin

Alien Ribcage? Not the first thing that popped into my head. Too funny.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhotoGrace

Alien ribcage. ok. Actually, my first thought was alien squid throwing fireballs, then the Alien facehugger.

@ Kim -- That was one of the old Sinbad movies (7th Voyage of Sinbad?). Classic, definitive Harry Hausen stop-motion animation art, where evil wizard animates the statue of the goddess Kali.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Ok, am I the only one that thinks the alien ribcage looks like a penis tree?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At least the rib cage has the correct number of ribs... er... um, candles. Seeing menorahs depicted with 3 candles on each side of the center candle (the shamash) makes me sad. Why would you want cut Hanukkah two days short?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertaj

LOL at lighting the alien ribcage. :)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJavaChick

How much do you charge? I would love a ninja nursery!!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

@Kim and msyendor-- I am impressed that you thought of/recognized Sinbad, although now that I think about it, it should have been my first thought. Was that one ever an episode of MST3K?

@John and Jen-- Now when it's a long time between site updates, I will assume you're out painting ninja babies on a wall somewhere. Awesome!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Enjoy the blog. Did you realise you were recently featured on a British TV show? I don't have an international link but for those in the UK try (sorry about the lack of HTML-fu) http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00pchkz/Have_I_Got_a_Bit_More_News_for_You_Series_38_Episode_7/
Bella

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBella

Ah, Cake Wrecks: never change. I gave the Christmas cake it's third feed today, looking at these professional cakes for inspiration. I've got time for maybe two more feeds before I need to marzipan it. How can I possibly match the decorating skills shown here?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the menorah cake looks (to me, anyway) like a jaundiced lobster. but it is lunch time, and i might be hungry. oh well.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertangeria

its weird cuz the ninja stars of david must have been really hard to draw
i mean, have u ever tried to draw a star w/out the lines thru the middle?
anyway- glowing alien ribcage!!!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen, will you come paint my son's room?? That is flippin sweet!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I will be looking forward the Nija cake to go with the nursery!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiedra

Well, I don't know about the rest of you all, but giant piles of blue poo ALWAYS get ME in the holiday spirit!

[singing]

Blu-ue Poo!
Blu-ue Poo!
Giant Piles of Poo!
Oh what fun it is to see piles of technicolor poo!
Eew!

WV = shinger
Someone trying to sing after one too many trips to the bowl of egg nog.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPromise

LOVE the attempt at a menorah.

And, in defense of wreckerators everywhere, no one spells hannukah right, 'cause there are, like, 15 different spellings.

How 'bout a couple of wrecked Yule log cakes for us pagans?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicebroom

The 2nd cake makes me want to kvetch. The Hanukkah colors are blue, silver, and white. Who in their right mind would use red? It'd be like making a purple, green, and gold Christmas cake. I do admit, the 3rd cake is quite wrecky. That is one messy menorah.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

My three year old just asked why someone would put "ribs and a neck" on a cake. And no, I was not reading out loud! Maybe that's actually what they were going for!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Marquez Family

Did anyone else see "Jewish Ninja" and think of Ziva from NCIS?

That made me smile. :)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSerena

From one Pagan Miranda to another,

Hey that's an idea Jen, surely you have pictures of some royally wrecked chocolate (or not) Yule log cakes? They're tough to make and the first (and last) one I made was a complete disaster and didn't even make it to decoration. So can ya shuffle the deck and crank out some bad ole Yule log cakes for us solstice fans?:)

Merry everything everyone!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Santa, Frosty, and Poo-dolph have nothing to do with any religion, unless you think consumerism is a religion and therefore, maybe Xmas would be the holiday. If you want to wreckify Christmas, display cakes with manger scenes of Christ's birth. Nice job with Chanukah.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I just bought your Cake Wrecks book and I can't wait to read through it. Thanks for the laughs!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCFGP

Yet another reader from Israel here.

Not only are the letters on that poor dreidel mirrored, they are also not in the correct order. I mean, even if the wreckerator reversed the flotsam, there is no way ה (he) and נ (nun) would be adjacent on a dreidel, and even if I give the Chinese manufacturer of this awful piece of plastic the benefit of a doubt and say it's a ג (gimel) rather than a נ (nun), they are still in the wrong order.

By the way, I never heard that Hanukkah had a dedicated set of colors. Only goes to show how far apart Jewish customs in Israel and abroad have come. http://www.brauniz.co.il/scripts/ImgView.asp?MediaID=9946" rel="nofollow">here is an Israeli designed Hanukkah cake I picked off the net (in... Green, purple, and yellow...). Nice, though the dreidels on it are kind of wrecky. Oh, you thought they were arrows pointing in different directions?

When I saw the Menorah (ribcage) cake my first reaction was "Yellow prawn? That's not even kosher!"

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHerouth

See, I LIKE lots of frosting. Sometimes, the frosting is all I want!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

The ninja nursery looks cuter than ever.

The cupcakes look a bit weird tho, don't u think?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelvin of Quotes

Ha ha those reindeer and Santas look like they're wrapped up in comfy warm blue blankets. Cute

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Cheryl

Why oh why are the multiple Santas and reindeer swaddled like mummies? Is that the holiday where the heat gets shut off?

And I'd like BBQ sauce on my alien ribcage instead of buttercream, please.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSeverina

That nursery is awesome. You are so multi-talented.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApartment Manager

That is one awesome nursery! Will you pleeease come to Idaho and paint my daughter's room?? :)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJones Town

I am in love with that nursery...too cute (and deadly!)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterinnae

Totally LOVE the nursery. Is it ok to be jealous of a baby? hmmmmmm

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Gibson

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