My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Chappy Chanukah

Carly e-mailed yesterday to chastise my current completely-Christmas collection of carnage. She asked that I share some equal-opportunity Wreckage for my Jewish homies to "enjoy."

Now, I can only work with what I'm given, so please don't take my excessive postings of Santa and Frosty and Poo-dolph as any kind of religious bias. Believe me, I will snicker equally at Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and even Winter Solstice Wreckage if given the chance.

Trouble is, those holidays just don't score many cakes. Still, let's see what we've got in the ol' Wrecks files, shall we?

[shuffle shuffle shuffle]

Ok, here's something: how about a little clashing blue icing, plastic flotsam, and an "ak"?:

I would make a crack about the KKK hiding out in "Hanukkak," but I think that might be construed as bad taste.

Still, could be worse, right? Can you imagine what would happen if a Wreckerator tried to draw the menorah or Star of David or dreidel?

Nah, me neither. But that's ok: I have examples. Heehee!

Here we have some (Ninja) Stars of David:

Yep, that's the trouble with tracing. Still, if you think of this as a Jewish Ninja's celebration cake, then it's actually pretty darn cool. (See, they're off to the side because they're in motion. Eh?)
(And yes, I double-checked: it's professional.)

Unfortunately I couldn't find a good dreidel Wreck - but I think this "Menorah" more than makes up for it:

Time to light the alien ribcage!

So to all my Jewish readers: Happy Hanukkah! Please send more Wrecks.

And in the meantime, I think people of all nations and beliefs can come together, get along, and enjoy spectacles like this:

"Who's laughing now, fat boy?!?"

Speaking of ninjas, Seisen, Jennifer, Beth C., & Jenna W., have you seen the ninja nursery John & I painted for our friends? Granted, it has nothing to do with cakes, but I get the feeling this is the right demographic for that sort of thing.

- Related Wreckage: Goy Gaffes

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Reader Comments (128)

The Sandra Lee Kwaanza cake is not to be missed.,25176/

I like the characterization of it as "an edible hate crime," except wouldn't it have to be edible for that to be accurate? Acorns, canned apple pie filling, and canned frosting? I'm not eating that, are you?

I also like the way Sandra cut giant holes in the cake to make room for the huge candles.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Hmm...I have a coworker who I think would LOVE the ninja nursery! I know I would, if I had kids. And the concept of a Jewish ninja has me in stitches! "Throwing stars of David!" LOVE!

I really, really needed the laugh this evening. This blog is a lifesaver.

And I, for one, am afraid to find out what a Wrecked Yule log would look like. There must be one out there somewhere. *shudder* Talk about poo...

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Shouldn't this be a new category in itself, "Oy So Ugly"?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ Gary-- I guess you could say, then, that Sandra Lee made a "technically edible" hate crime cake. A lot of things qualify under this category that I don't want to eat. As for the stuff I've seen at this site, that one is somewhere near the top of the list.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You'd have to be pretty cocky to pass that menorah cake off as professional. I think he was wanging it.

WV: priesse. Priesse don't stop posting wrecks, Jen!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndie

The ninja nursery is totally awesome!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRattlesnake

I may not be the first to say it, but the blue-poo cupcakes look like Santa and his reindeer are cuddling up in Snuggies!

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaysha

Oh my gosh, one of my friends is a ninja; I passed this along so that he and his g/f can use this as an idea if they ever have a boy!


December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRene

To all those that posted the Sanda Lee 'semi 'homemade'' cakes I have to say thanks so much for reminding me why I'v never liked watching her show. Everyone watch GOOD EATS INSTEAD!!!!! Alton Brown actually teaches you how to cook!

I just can't Believe why she even has a tv show at all. Nothing she does at all makes anything good. All she really does is show lazy cooks how to be lazier.

Let me run it down for you

1: She makes a 'homemade' decorated cake by buying a 1/4 sheet cake from the store and calls stacking a one layer round cake and a bunch of cupcakes on top decorating or making something homemade. You can do the same thing with 2 cake mixes and canned frosting(homemade frosting is easy too) better AND CHEAPER TOO!

2: Her Hanukah and Kwanzaa cakes are worse. They are even higher on the level of lazy when you consider how easy it is to make an angel food cake from scratch is. Go to the Food Network and Look up Alton Brown's Episode of Good Eats, let them eat foam, and you will see what i mean. Even then a boxed angel food cake mix is even less effort and it will turn out better too. Now is you want to make a Hanukah cake like her's instead of the non-kosher Marshmallows place a Kosher Star Of David Sugar Cookie over the hole instead!

3: Almost nothing I've seen her do helps people learn how to make anything themselves as almost 90% of her recipes, and I use that term very lightly, uses pre-made(and therefore expensive) items to make them. What she does is only one step away from serving McDonald's hamburgers for Thanksgiving.

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Bradbury

ALienRibcage- SNORT!!

And Ninja Nursey!!! ROCKIN'!!!

word verification: unryl, as in, it is Un-freking-RYL what you did for hat baby's nursery! Cake Skillz translate into walls too? No freaking way!

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNightingale

awwww! that ninja nursery is too too cute!!

I knew we were missing something when we did our son's star nursery a few years back -

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkrismom

Santas and reindeer in paper wasp nests?

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlittle gator

lol! alien ribcage!

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

I love the omnipresence of the Snuggie this holiday season. If those cupcakes are any indication, Santa and his reindeer will be wearing them on their annual run. Now he'll be able to call the Missus and check the GPS app on his iPhone without being encumbered by the confines of a traditional blanket.

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Hannah

Also, when my ninja-loving husband sees those nursery pics, you better believe he's going to try to convince me to do the same for our 3-month-old son (even though he knows I find pirates to be far superior).

Verification word: losest
As in, "That ninja-star Hanukkah cake is so tragic, it isn't a loser; it's a losest."

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Hannah

Santa and reindeer in Snuggies! I love it!

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa Huang

The 'alien ribcage' looks more like... how can I make this 'G' rated, a group personal massager.

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne

Alien ribcage looks more like an unkosher lobster...

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGotta Be KD

Exactly WHAT color is that horrible goo that is swallowing up the Santas and the strangely Pluto-looking reindeer?
"Here, kid, have a nightmare"

And "alien ribcage".. ::snrk::

Holiday yumminess!

--Blondie's mom

December 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That nursery is wonderful! Wouldn't mind having it as my own room. :-D

December 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

That ninja nursery is SO COOL!
It made my girlfriend want to have a baby boy (apparently).

December 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNat!

"Hath not a Jew eyes?" Whoever perpetrated the alien ribcage apparently doesn't think so. . . . O_o

Are there Jewish ninjas in the Mossad, though? Because, if not, the concept is so awesome that they need to get some. Now.

December 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRivka

I now need to own an alien rib cage menorah.

December 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdsbs42

Those reindeer toppers at the bottom are adorable...but it actually took me a while to realize that the "alien ribcage" was a menorah. Let's see what you guys can come up with for Kwanzaa! (:

December 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBookworm

My five year-old says that cupcake at the end looks like Santa getting sucked into a whirlpool.

December 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

I had all but forgotten our "Happy Hanukkak" cookie cake from last year until I saw it here! I don't normally buy anything with blue icing, but I couldn't get a good cell phone pic of it without taking the top off, so we had it with our 3rd night Chinese. :)

Happy Hanukkak! And watch those menorahs... mine drips wax, and the candles are fully upright!


December 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous all I can say LOL

December 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYesDivasCanCook

WOW! I'm Jewish, and all I can say is...


Okay then.... I'm totally into this....

Jewish Ninja (Oh, yeah, you read that right. I'm a NINJA! Booya!)

December 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

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