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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec302009

American Super (Sized) Heroes

Americans, by and large, are fat. I'm an American, and I'm fat. Together with 64% of my fellow citizens, we're taking over the country, one chocolate-covered bacon maple donut bar at a time. Rather than get all down and out about it, though, I like the bakeries' approach: simply upsize all of our childhood icons to fit the times!

Whoah. Uh, Spidey, listen: I'm all for embracing your body image, but at some point spandex stops being your friend.

"Something seemed fishy about Nemo's new 'power diet.' And where was Bloat the puffer fish, anyway?"

I suppose Cookie Monster has the best excuse for being a bit blobbish:

Still, I'm guessing this was taken during his "Robert Downey Jr of Cookies" years.

Hey, Mickey!

[singing] "Oh, Mickey, what a pity
You don't understand
You're blocking up your heart
when you eat up all that ham!"


And lastly, here's one for us plus-sized princesses:

"Tink noticed it was taking a lot more pixie dust than usual to get off the ground these days. Peter, wisely, said nothing."

Remember, Melissa W., Jen S., Dawn G., Amanda L., & Cindy S., there's an upside to everything: fat people are much harder to kidnap.

- Related Wreckage: Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat?

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Reader Comments (92)

Erin, I'm no fan of making fun of appearances either, but the essence of this blog is making fun of things that look bad.

Plus, it's about CAKE. Have you ever been to a cake show or cake club meeting? They are not skinny-people conventions.

And Jen said right up front that she is overweight herself.

So if you want to bring race into it, it's really like black people using the n-word within their own community. They're allowed to do that because it's theirs by reclamation.

Nothing Jen said was hateful. I'm fat, I'm sensitive to mockery, and I didn't feel mocked. Obviously a lot of other overweight people found humour in this, and for all you know that was part of their coping/healing. For all you know, they consider this a safe place to talk about food without worry about diet talk. For all you know, the entire post may have made someone's day by inclusively making light of something society always makes so dark.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

I can't believe I'm saying this about a CCC (patooie!), but I actually kind of like the Cookie Monster cake. It could be a bit better executed, but they got the googly eyes and the gaping mouthful of cookie pieces pretty well.

(When I was little, it used to bother me that Cookie Monster never got to eat any of his cookies - he just broke them up and flung them around. The fact that he was a muppet and therefore couldn't actually eat them didn't occur to me for far too long).

Squished Nemo, on the other hand, is dreadful.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

I wonder if the octopus behind Nemo had something to do with the gaping hole in his chin...

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmma C.

That's not Nemo! That's Nemo's love-child by Gloria the Gulf Flounder, photo here: http://www.landbigfish.com/images/fish/LBF_Gulf_Flounder.jpg

It's the eyes both on the same side of the head (ulp) that's the dead giveaway.

You're welcome.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

I'm totally gonna start a band called "The Lumpy Princess". Or "Lumpy Princesses." Or maybe I'll write a children's book.

It took me a long time to acknowledge that being fat didn't mean I wasn't pretty. I'm fat, and pretty, and princess-y, and lumpy. Happy new year y'all.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Saw nothing offensive in the blog post. However, the only offense I took was in the comments section by 'Diana' who equates FAT with LAZY. Why don't you define 'lazy'? Do you mean physically lazy, morally lazy, spiritually lazy, emotionally lazy, mentally lazy?

Or do you lazily lump it in a fat judgmental roll?

Oh, by the way, congratulations on losing your weight.

WV: lesse. "64%" like "4 out of 5 doctors" ... Let's see, heck, I'm too lazy to do the math or properly document source.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

AHAHAHAHA! I can't believe someone reading about CAKE got this worked up about the mention of fat people-- or cartoon characters, actually. Take a look around at America, because you're in good company here. The reality is that being fat is a widespread condition here (forgive me, couldn't help myself), and fat people are just part of the landscape almost anywhere you go in the U.S. these days. I'm just grateful that I'm included in the demographic that's harder to kidnap. I count on it, actually, because I can't run all that fast.

--An American Cake Eater, and Not So Slight Myself

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Interesting how so many of these are cupcake cakes(ptooie!). And after paging through the 2003 Wilton Idea Book... I think I found where this idea started.

So here's the challenge to you Wilton-philes out there... what was the year the first cup cake cake showed up? There are at least 6 in the 2003 Idea Book.

Andrea in Ohio

wv: tardane: the flame retardant icing used to decorate cupcake cakes (ptooie!)

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um, ick. That wasn't so fun.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermeg in mirth

What's up with Tink's nose? Ew.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I've just realized why Europeans are always telling us fat Americans to lose weight.

It's because they want to kidnap us.

I, for one, plan to eat some chocolate immediately.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShalen

Anonymous said...
From what I've heard Cookie Monster has been renamed "Veggie Monster" on the show...this cake is probably why.
__________________
Are you sure? I saw a recent episode and cookie made abby wish for a forest of cookie trees.

As 20 something year old, I grew up watching cookie monster hold a pipe on monster piece theatre and i have NEVER had the urge or need or want to smoke a pipe. I also dont want to shove cookies down my throat...just food for thought sesame producers..

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterc is for cookie

Um im fat (and yes very active) and im not offended by this post.

I like that Nemo looked "run over" or that in someone's mind mickey looked "correct"

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlalalalal

LuciaB said...
Fat people are harder to kidnap!! Yes! I say this all the time. You never hear "The victim was grabbed off the street, please be on the lookout she is 5'2" and 230lbs."
_____________________
LOL I live in a country where people are kidnapped often(sad but true).
I too often joke that it would be hard to lift and bundle me into the back seat of a car.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSad but true

Spidey has a fat head? Oh, my! What have they done to you, Peter Parker?

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

Wow!! What happened to Nemo? Was he run over by a truck or something? The spiderman cake really made my day, I can't get over laughing at the look of that cake. It looks good though to eat it with my morning http://www.oncoffeemakers.com" rel="nofollow">coffee Hahaha. Great pics!

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermichael

John and Jen-you guys rock!
The following is my song to Erin (to the tune of Hey Mickey)
Hey Erin
You're so blind
You're so blind and so not kind
Hey Erin

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarmen

You know, with the exception of Sunday Sweets posts, I consider this site to be kind of a diet-friendly blog. Not once have I craved cake after seeing the examples here. Now if you can just help me see how m&m's are unappetizing, I'll save myself a lot of calories.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If the bacon were on the side I would totally eat the donut bar.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ahem. I am not fat. I am just a tad bit chubberz.

also, that Nemo is terrifying.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

I love the Tinkerbell comment!

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

wv: danda: a post like this is bound to incite some folks to get their danda up... heh.

Thanks for all the funny... and Happy New Year, Jen & John!

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPretzelogic (Philly, PA)

wv: defoll: To anyone worried about their appearance, remember - pride comes before defoll!

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPretzelogic (Philly, PA)

Jenn and John: I, too, fall into the overweight category. My husband says that I'm still beautiful, and I believe him.

John: I am so glad to hear that you find your wife sexy even if she isn't a perfect "size 6" or whatever. Men like you are few and far between. I'm glad that I have a good husband and Jenn does, too!

If I may, there is a site on the internet that you CAN "go a single day without being slapped in the face with the idea that being fat is at best a cause for ridicule, and at worst a moral failing deserving of being cast into eternal damnation for."

That site is www.operationbeautiful.com. I check it EVERY DAY, and it is all about ending Fat Talk. It's about finding the beauty in everyone, regardless of size or weight.

Keep the wrecks and the commentary coming, Jenn and John! You guys brighten my day!!

WV: Teyste: "Some of the people on here are way to teyste when it comes to jokes."

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Oh my god, what happened to poor Nemo? hahhaha. That's terrifying XD

And really, I'm overweight and I love this post. Sometimes you need to laugh at yourself and see the humour in things, or life gets really, really sad. I know this, because I used to take everything to heart. But, really, it's so much easier to see the humour in certain things. (Not saying we should laugh at people being malicious, but certainly, a funny perspective on it shouldn't be a huge issue.)

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

Is it bad that the only thing I could think of while at that "This is Why You're Fat" site was, "Hmmm... wish I had that recipe!"

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

Speaking of fat people being hard to kidnap, have you seen the video game called "Fat Princess"? You really should google it. It's something else...

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersharon

Jen,

You referenced thisiswhyyourefat.com. And references like these are why you rock harder than everyone I've seen blog.

Wreck on!

Jenn

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

@Jennifer
"I am so glad to hear that you find your wife sexy even if she isn't a perfect "size 6" or whatever."
Old school Sweet Valley High reference?

To everyone else who might be offended: I'm about as sensitive to weight issues as a person can get. So much so that I feel awkward and hypocritical because I am losing weight on doctors orders. That said, nothing about this post offended me. Well, nothing Jen wrote, some of the cakes on the other hand...

WV: undess-don't get your undess in a bunch, it's cake!

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

My 5 year old saw this post today. He wanted to know why someone squashed Nemo. And as a family of Disney lovers, he should have recognized Mickey, but refuses to beleive me that that cake is Mickey. Not our beloved Mickey.

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

is that Madonna?

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercaferacers66

I love what my wife just said - "It's Jabba the Cookie Monster!"

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tinkerbell reminds me of Quagmire from "Family Guy"... she needs to rethink the nose job!

January 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My one thought to add:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0" rel="nofollow">Fat bottomed girls, we make the wreckin' world go round ;)

~Aileen

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lilac Pilgrim

I never comment, but this was hysterical! You guys are very funny and a pleasure to read. Thanks.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly L

I think the last one looks like Lizzie McGuire.

January 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSexy Sadie

No hating on fat people- but I'm concerned from a health standpoint what all this "I'm great as I am" or "I'm happy as I am" attitude is.

I used to be obese. I didn't hate myself. But I wasn't healthy- had high blood pressure, tons of back pain. You can't think you're great as you actually are if you're UNHEALTHY at the same time.

I lost 100 pounds, 3 years ago. I can't tell you how much happier I am now that I can exercise and now that I'm not in constant pain.

Here's to losing weight and eating in moderation so as to have the healthiest, happiest lifestyle- and not to fit into a preconieved stereotype of what beautiful is.

John, if you love your wife, then support her in trying to be healthy, and the same should go for her. You'll have more years with her that way.

-Laura Pouquer

January 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Pouquer

Amelia 2 1/2 about the spiderman "Look at that scarey one"

January 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethany P

wow these cakes really look great!

Tink is looking awfully like Anna Nicole Smith.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNora

Thats some scary cake art right there. Waw. xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

[Tokaiya]: Yeah, it's pretty clear. I ain't no size two, but I can shake
it shake it, like I'm supposed to do. Cuz I got dat boom boom dat all da boys chase, and all da right junk in all da right places.
We see dem magazines, workin' dat PhotoShop, we know that trash ain't real, c'mon now, make it stop! If you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up ---
[Severus] Take it, Yaxley!
[Yaxley] Now, my mama, she told me, don't worry about 'er size, 'sides I'd like a little more booty to hold at night, now I don't want no stick figure silicone Barbir Doll, so if that's what your into, then go ahead and move along.

The D.E.N. is forever.

October 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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