My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Be Good...Or Else

Parents, I give you an early Christmas present: a line up of Santa cakes so terrifying, even the naughtiest child will run screaming to do the dishes.

"Well helloooo, children. I see you when you're sleeping."

"And I know when you're awake."

"I know if you've been bad or good!" [insane giggle]

[whispering] "So be good..."

"...or else."

Melissa G., Ian T., Heather H., Anony M., and Leti P & Jake C., if you think scary Santa cakes make for a great holiday greeting, then have I got a card for you!

- Related Wreckage: Santa Gets the Shaft

Note from john: Yes. Strawberry is misspelled.

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Reader Comments (135)

this one made me lol. in the library. hehe. the last one reminds me of the evil santa from "Futurama."

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, "or else" is scaring me right outta my wits.

I found the first one to be sweet, actually. Those pans cost enough, it's great when you can find another use for them! (we'll just cross our fingers it wasn't left over from Feb)

Clowns -- Santa -- clowns -- santa... oh boy.

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBright

Remember- SANTA is just one letter placement away from SATAN this holiday season in the bakery!

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the award for "most likely to emotionally scar" is a tie between the "bunt pan" mound-faced santa and the skella-claus (now with straberry!)

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCanCan (Mom Most Traveled)

According to DH, number 2 looks like Cartman playing Santa, and number 4 looks like a Sontaran Santa.
WV:"santl" : like "straberry", these cakes are only in the ball park of "santa"

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

ROFL. The song is a bit creepy by itself but the killer Santa Police will enforce it. ^^

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercherish

That first one looks like it could have been a repurposed ass cake.

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

While these may be poor Santa cakes, they're all excellent candidates for being great Krampus cakes!

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZocktastic

Consider that the Identity Confused Santa is CCC(die DEMON!!!!) it is entirely possible that it could be BOTH.

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Bradbury


I remember Brian Peppers. The scariest damn man in the universe!

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Straberry Cake. Doubly good!

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNads' Bakery

Why does Santa's head in the first cake heart me? It's a Valentine's pan, right?

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

I know I shouldn't ask, but how, HOW can you misspell strawberry??? straw. berry. shouldn't it be written on something in the store to check? I mean really people. really.

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Last cake- It's Cthulhu Santa!!

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Santa #1 looks as if he "got an idea. An awful idea." Yes, methinks this Santa "got a wonderful, AWFUL idea!"

And I gotta ask, did Santa #4 star in that 80's classic film, "Silent Night, Deadly night"?? Yikes!!!

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterryglights

That "so be good" cake will give me nightmares. Yaaaaaaaaaaah!

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Why are all the santas blind? Are pupils not allowed anymore?

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Such amazing cakes.....

How can one have the heart to eat them?

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQuality Research

You realize that #1 is a upside down heart...what did they do recycle the cake pans from valentines day? Sheesh!

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

Just made you my blog of the week, an award for you over at my blog.

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrett

My son's first thoughts upon seeing these were, "I wonder if the bakery used an old Valentines Day cake?" and "A Santa poo hat!"
I love how you've taught him the fine art of cake recognition. :)

And as for word verification, I had to laugh when I saw "mistras". My first thought for that was Tiger.

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

[Chuckling to self] Those would seem like sweet little Santas if you knew the REAL story behind where Santa came from. . . Still, yes, scary. If you are having trouble about how to break it to your kids that Santa isn't real, just show them one of these!
Anna Marie

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRusty and Bandit

ok, I did it, I looked up Straberry, and I think the (EEEEWWWW) description might actually describe what happened to that santa...

Did I mention EWWWWWW!!!

WV: turbu- the singular version of turbus, a large very fast yellow object.

Oh gosh these scary white ones are surely undead santas.

Our children will be terrified at the thought of these horrors coming down the chimney.

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm officially scarred for life.

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteremma

The first one looks like a left over valentine cake so they turned it upside down and whipped a Santa on it.
Honestly, I could call THAT a heart attack. -Whispers- ''I also know how fast your heart beats..'' Yes, kids! Its your very own Santa cake! No hearts here at ALL!'' I honestly thought JESUS was in our hearts. Cake creators gag: ''You see, Christmas is about celebrating Jesus birthday! And Jesus is in our hearts! And Santa is used to help spread Christmas cheer. So the heart stands for Jesus! Ya!''... So Santa and Jesus are like BFF'S? Or siamese twins? FIND OUT! NEXT TIME IN: CONFUSING CAKES! (ACTUALLY WE NEVER REALLY WILL FIND OUT!)

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the "or else" cake is Cthulhu Santa!

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Thanks, guys! Now I'll be having nightmares about being chased through the snow by demonic Santa cakes for WEEKS!!!

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

nice! i love your song with the direction to the way they must be sung. =P

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShiseiten

Oh my god this is my favorite post ever. I keep coming back to it. The captions for #3 and #4 are hilarious!!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha! My almost 2-year-old looked at the first cake and said, "Ooooh, MONSTER!"

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Number 3 reminds me of Mr. Bill. And 5 of something from pirates of the Caribbean.. the Squid guy

December 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany V

that is very funny. bit disturbing though...

December 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one would truly haunt me... if it has stra'berry filling in it, wouldn't it look like Santa was bleeding when you cut into it?!

(Ironically, my Captcha for this post is "fleyed." Hmm...)

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one just looks like he's REALLY angry that they misspelled "strawberry" on the label. He's looking right at it!

November 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDylan R.

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