My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's Love Got to Do With It?

Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and depending on your relationship status and tolerance of all things stuffed and cutesy, you're either dreading it or looking forward to some sweet gift-swapping with your SO.

Today's post is more for the former group of you, partly because it's Friday the 13th, and partly because there's nothing like depressing and/or angry offerings from jilted malcontents to make you feel better about opting out of the whole chocolate-covered love fest anyway.

Besides, who can resist a sardonic cookie?

Or how's this for an expression of love: a heart cake chopped in two?

It's almost poetic, really. That, or the baker on duty just got dumped.

I think this is supposed to be a heart. A sad, bruised, limping little heart. Po' widdle ting.

Uh, this is a cake celebrating love, right? I only ask because I'm getting a more creeped-out vibe than the warm fuzzies. "Oh, these purple blobbies? Those are for eating your soul."

Be yours? Why, you had me at the lumpy Pepto-pink frosting, Sugalumps. Aw yeeeah.

This cracked me up. I guess those emo kids working at the mall are good for something, after all.

(Yes, I'm kidding. You just have to figure out about which part.)

Collette, Lauren C., Beth F., Jessica S., Paula L., & Julie D., here's hoping someone checks "yes" on your Valentine cookies.

« President's Day Cupcake Mosaic | Main | Valentine's Variety »

Reader Comments (117)

That last cake/cookie is sort of a fun flashback to my childhood. I remember if you really fancied someone back in elementary school you'd pass them a note that said, "I like you, do you like me? Circle yes or no."
I got a lot of "or"'s circled. :(
Maybe it's a sign that notes like that turn people into emo kids?

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

The brown one looks like a butt.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlilgirlsummers

lol... you said Sugalumps. please tell me you MEANT the reference to Flight of the Conchords.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Loved all the valentine cakes. I check your posts daily and absolutely love your blog. I have even linked you in my I read section on my blog! You are such an inspiration to me! Thank you so much!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Cox Family

#4 reminds me of" REL="nofollow">THESE guys from Dune.  They always creeped me out, and I think I would really not appreciate a cake with their ugly mugs on it.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristianna

The "Be Mine" cake looks like it has pickled beets on top.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i have cookie-makin' ingredients. i have a heart-shaped pan.

SOMEONE is totally getting a "do you love me? [ ] yes [x] no" cake tomorrow, even if it has to be the mailman.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

It's a buttcheek cake! And it's got purple-gloved hands, ready to, erm...spread the love!

Aaargh, does no one step back and look at these things before putting them on display??

WV = icklop. Yup!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

That third one makes me think the decorator tried to knock off one of Colette Peter's designs and didn't exactly pull it off. ("Black and Blue Heart" from Cakes to Dream On)

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren


Your blog never fail to bring tears to my eyes! Don't stop the commentary lol!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

that cake with the purple boobies looks like an ass.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbarbie2be

Oh, these are good! The third one looks like an oxygen deprived human heart, the fourth one looks like butt cheeks and the fifth one looks like a uterus. Hmmmm...

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, these are good! The third one looks like an oxygen deprived human heart, the fourth one looks like butt cheeks and the fifth one looks like a uterus. Hmmmm...

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha! I think the check yes or no one is GREAT! I'm scheming who to make it for and give it to... :)

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakedreamer

It looks like a butt cake.

'Excuse me. I'd like to @$$ you a few questions...'

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That one with the purple wings looks like a butt.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Emily, at least they're giving chocolate chip goodness to comfort the poor soul post-dumping. Best dumping EVER.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Bwaahaahaa! I absolutely *adore* the emo cookie!!! :) Gotta have one now!!!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i want that sardonic cookie! That's so awesomely cynical :) And the yes/no one rocks. I'd say those are cake wins.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTatyana


It looks so good thats why I keep it in the front...


I think it might be better if it was sweet and white and highly refined, as opposed to pepto pink, and vomit inducing and terrifying.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCat

i'm cry-laughing right now. i can't believe they checked no. lmao

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

lol that 4th cake.. the brown one looks like a butt with a face drawn on it.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

I wonder if they rather belatedly found they ran out of the correct size boxes and had to chop the hearts in two?

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaaike

The purple blobbies cake looks like it wet its pants

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

am i the only one who thinks the one with the purple blobs just looks like an upside down butt?

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlinz

i agree with previous posters, creepy heart=heinie. for sure.

mmmmmm i want a cookie cake!!!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteralexlady

Maybe the cake that looks like a butt is a break-up cake, and you're telling your ex to kiss your ... well, you know.

As for the cookie cake, that one brought back some sweet memories of grade school, when boys would send me notes saying, "I love you. Do you love me? Check Yes or No."

I always checked Yes.

I was such a flirt.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

The "Do you love me? No" is effin hilarious! I am still laughing. I wonder what occasion that cookie cake might be used for... to break up with someone? Instead of having a talk about the relationship, just send them that cookie!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

I love that last cookie cake!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

Two of those are TOTALLY butts masquerading as hearts.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

The creepy cake is so totally a butt! Especially with the white toilet seat lace around the edges.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the one that looks like a smiling face on buttcheeks.

The cookie should be paired with the broken heart though. What a party that would be!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

Wow...that brown one looks more like someone painted but cheeks and thos purple things are hands....I'll leave it at that :P

Really love the sardonic cookie and the yes/no cookie! ROFL! That looked like something my 14 year old would give out :D

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

That po' widdle one looks like a, um, nut sack....Ewwwwww

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterT

Number Five looks like it just had open heart surgery.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSophia Nightengale

omg, the (check) "No" had me laughing out loud. too funny!

"sugalumps"? FOTC fan? Are you going to see them? whee!!!

Happy valentines day, wreckers and wreck lovers!!!!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I'm guessing the brown one is supposed to be "kiss my you-know-what."

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The cookie cake is made of win. If Hot Topic ever decided to sell baked goods, that would be perfect.

And I also saw a butt for #4 too.


February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my, the first cookie looks kind of pervy.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershinejewelry

definitely a goatse cake.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I agree with The Courteous Chihuahua's assessment of number five, but Tarri has it closer to my first thought.

Calling a cake "buttlike" isn't usually polite, but people are being polite about number four. It looks exactly like the rear view of a woman bending waaay over. Including the lips, folks. If you give someone one of these cakes, make sure you're prepared to deliver on the iced implications.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

ohh i laughed out loud at this one. you pulled me out from being a lurker. drat.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermichelle

The purple blobby thing looks like realy bad butt cheeks.

Oh, and that one with the constipation look - yikes. I work in a hospital - I've seen some specimens - but on cake? It ruins icing for me.

I live for icing.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. C

When I was in grade school, other kids would ask me to draw hearts for them, because I knew how. If these cake artists asked me, I'd demonstrate my third grade art prowess, really, no problem.

The half hearted cakes exemplify the whole holiday to me.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZhoen

First an cake shaped like buttocks and then a bunch of hearts in a circle that only reminds me of one thing: anal sphincter. I'm in the medical field, what can I say? I love cake wrecks!

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBiff

The 5th cake looks like a birth canal!!! omg I was like what the heck! then I looked again and saw the little hearts...ewww

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

#4 is totally a butt. Look -- it doesn't even hve a point at the bottom.

Oh, good grief...

Verification word: 'Fistall"

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They drive the ladies crayyyzaaay.

Put eyes on the third one and you've got a Vermicious Knid, source of so many of my childhood nightmares.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfunnycide

I thought number 5 looks a heck of a lot more than a uterus and fallopian tubes then a heart....but that's just me.

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Ok, that one is totally a butt and the mouth is well, you can figure it out ;-)

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMidwest Mommy

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