My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Valentine's "Winners"

Hey, it's Valentine's Day!! May the sugar-coated cuteness and commercially-driven materialistic declarations of affection begin!

Just don't get your cutie-patootie any of these:

Sure, it looks like an internal organ: just not the right one.

These could lead to a lot of fun "what's that supposed to mean?" conversations:

Uh, your love kills me?

You make my heart unravel?

And this one is a bit desperate for my taste:

Here's a great one to give your SO in mixed company:

I don't know about you guys, but when I refer to myself in the third person in conversations with John (which is especially fun at parties), I usually prefer the designations "baby" and "your lover".

"Baby, your lover would like you to take the trash out."
"Baby, your lover is going to the store."
"Baby, your lover gets the not-so-subtle hint from your Valentine's present..."

"...but your lover has a headache." (cue "Broken Arrow" by Rod Stewart)

Now, these cake/cookie things may suffer from the whole bum-crack affliction:

...but they still look way more appetizing than these:

Hey, it's the ABC gum cake!
(For those of you who don't remember kindergarten, ABC = "Already Been Chewed".)

Gabrielle H., Maya C., Anne M., Kandace H., Michael H., & Ben O., John's lover thanks you.

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Reader Comments (69)

bum crack valentine's cakes... ROFL!!!

February 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarieA

Anonymous 5:51: It's true, though....nothing says "I love you" more sincerely than a prostate exam.. *nodding head thoughtfully*

February 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet2buns

Heather said...
last one looks more like six scrota to me...
Heh heh...
And, you know, ONE scrotum would be more than sufficient...

February 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I found the "I love you" CCC without the inscription, so it confused me. (Someone watched me while I snickered at it. Were they a Cake Wreck reader, too?) I didn't dare take a picture, though. It was a supermarket with high security. Cake Wreckers must be sneaky!

February 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstrawrose

Yum, ABC gum... I am lookin' forward to eating that bad boy.

February 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna!

Ha! Now, personally, number three ("you make my heart unravel") calls to mind the odd mating habits of the Anglerfish - when they mature, the males' digestive systems quickly degenerate, so when they find a female, they bite her side and become fused there, spending the rest of their lives attached to each other like that.

That's probably just because I'm weird, though. I... really doubt that was the idea the wreckerator was going for.

February 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCami

At first glance at that fluoro pink cake, my boyfriend said 'It looks like a cervix!'

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok. That arrow looked like a female part if you know what I mean....


February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I agree with everyone who thinks the first cake is a Halloween bat. Which begs the question--is the cake actually from Halloween? Because that's kind of gross, seeing as that was more than three months ago. One can hope they just used a bat-shaped pan.

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDee

Oh, dear lord, thank you so much for crappy decorating skills so that I may laugh at them!

A new Valentine's Day saying, "I kidney you."

And blame less-than-stellar Wilton instructors for the butt crack hearts--they actually teach how to make them, but then they are supposed to tell you to smooth them out w/a finger dipped in corn starch. You know, so they don't look like butt cracks.

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteronlinepastrychef

gross, gross, gross. that one CCC with the "arrow" on the side...well, i thought it was a penis cake. sorry.

the baby/lover made me think of Dirty Dancing...wasn't there one scene where they did a dance to a song where she called him "lover" or something? or maybe this was a custom CW.

hilarious! thanks for my post-valentine's day giggles.

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

strawrose: your blog implies that you're in CA, whereas I'm in (and so took the picture in) NJ. Which means that there is MORE THAN ONE of those horrid misshapen boxed, incomplete hearted, bleeding lettered "I Love You" ccc monstrosities in the world. *shudder* that may be the worst thing I've ever heard.

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaya

I saw scrotums on the white cake...sorry...too much V-day chocolates for me, plus a Red Bull.

vw kingspa...a spa for men

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

That "broken arrow cake" looks happy to see you. Giggle. Whoa. That was a load of wreckiness.

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRob

That broken arrow cake looks like a uterus, complete with fallopian tubes and ovaries.

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteremilytasticz0rz

This blog is awesome. And that first cake looks like the GTVF Ulysses space superiority fighter from Freespace.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIron_wofle

#1--hey, giving someone a kidney IS a way to show you love them! (however, it's usually to a sibling. you know, the whole "match" thing)

not exactly romantic...

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

lol I think the second one is like a cake rendition of the "Whatsit" in the newspaper. Maybe the common phrase it represents is, "Two hearts beating as one" ? If you interpret the squiggles as EKGs and pretend they actually match!

October 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEgan-Boyd

Yikes! The internal organ cake looks like a kidney! Uhhh... Happy Valentine's Day?

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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