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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Feb172009

The End of Sweetness

Ok, last Vday post. Honest.

(Until the next one, that is. Heheheh.)

Not that I can be certain these were really meant for Valentine's, of course. I mean, it's not like they give us many clues...


I would ask for guesses, but my heart's just not in it. Besides, even though geography was never my strong point, even I can see it's obviously the state of Texas. Right, Cori W.?

The gril lives!

Good to know, Shauna L.


Wow. It never ceases to amaze me: the amount of time, effort, and talent poured in to these CCCs. Don't you agree, Ann S.?

Well, I have a guess as to what this is supposed to be, Sherin G., but I'm not going to spoil the fun for everyone else. Go on now, guys: what is it?

[humming Jeopardy theme]

And while we're guessing, any ideas on this one from Marisa W.?

"I tell ya, 'E' gets all the love. She's all, 'Look at me, I'm the most commonly used vowel! Ooh, la-ti-da!' Yeah. Insufferable little show-off."

Then Kay found these, which are actually wrong... for being spelled right. There's a first!

See, they have a bee (sort of; that's one scary specimen), so they could have written "Bee Mine". But did they? No, of course not. I bet there's a cake out there somewhere with a sheep on it and the inscription "I love you", too. [shaking head] C'mon, decorators: get with the punny program!

Oh, and in case you forgot what we were celebrating:


Say, this could lead to a whole new holiday icon! I'm picturing Cupid, only stitched together from spare parts. Alyssa & Clark, do you concur?

« For Me? | Main | It's a Form of Flattery. Honest. »

Reader Comments (149)

Long live the gril!!!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJon & Anna

i think it's hilarious how many people thought the first cake was a chicken...as did i. pretty sure my grandma had something chicken-shaped like that hanging up in her kitchen...

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterern
February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

The first one is definitely a rendition of Grandma's stretched out undies. Note the flowers.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one is mosdef a chicken. :)

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaleb

The first cake is definitely the State of Ohio...yep, Ohio...or a liver.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ha ha! The "Bee/Be" cake reminds me of a restaurant near me called "Tie Me Up Noodles" Now it's a Thai place...the name writes itself. Spelling it correctly just makes it sound like some weird dominatrix fetish...

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

That "sweet" cake is either a broken heart, or a severed ear.
Either way, it's totally romantic.
Yeah.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChatRabbit

okay, that first one is so not a state.....it is a kidney......nothing shows someone how much you love them with a kidney cake and the flowers really make it that much better :)

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

That last cake sounds like it was ordered by Skwisgaar Skwigelf from Dethklok!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dethklok#Skwisgaar_Skwigelf

In that case, I wonder who the lucky GMILF is?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

It's pronouced 'VAL-EN-STEEN'!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

How lovEy DovEy. :)

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

It's half a heart with 'sweet'. That bee looks like it has a bird head on it.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCalamity Anne

That first one is obviously a moose liver, covered in chocolate icing. Obviously.

(I'm Canadian. I know my chocolate-frosted moose-liver cakes.)

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjames r.

I don't know which I find funnier, the lack of a bee--I wonder if the decorator knew why there was a giant bee on the cookie,
or the
s
w
ee
t
broken heart cake.

Ether way, this is the best Valenstiens day post yet!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

OMG, so bear with me now....

In the 16th-century epic romance The Faerie Queene, there's an episode where a Circe-like character turns her suitors into swine and one of them is named Gryll.

So I am 100% down with a cake that is dedicated to "all my grils." You go, witchy woman!

However, I sorta doubt this was what the wreckerator was getting at with her memo cake to: all grils. {little tear escapes}

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Cupcake cake bad! Grrrr!"

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Another vote for chicken. It's SO obvious.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLesleMora

So CCC stands for Cup Cake Catastrophe, right?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

The last one says Happy Valenstines Day.......is that Frankenstiens sister?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVashti

Dyslexia rules. K.O.
Cheers

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

It's a liver! I swear!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelody

VALENSTINES?! That's amazing. I was laughing out loud at work, in a bank full of customers...whoops!

Oh my gosh. I had the image of the stitched-together Cupid as well!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

The first one is totally in the shape of Ohio! And I'm not just saying that because I live there. Would I really want that "thing" out there representing?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Where is that i love ewe cake when it you need it!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

*I* thought the frist one was obviously Ohio.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I'm with Jo- I see Ohio. And a Sw ee t for the mystery (is that supposed to be Sweet heart?)

CREEPY.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersergeilovestonya

My 3 yo son calls them grils and he has a whole host of grils he loves at daycare. The gril cake would have been EXCELLENT for him to take, if only I'd ordered it.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternrosetulip

The mystery one looks like Elvis Presley in profile.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

oohhhhh, I know! It's a skull cap! Yeah?!?!?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the first cake looks like Australia - the flowers are around where the fires were recently (maybe I little more on the 'sotuh' than reality - but close).

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeannie

Oh that top one is totally a floral croissant! No doubt!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

I'm going with Yellow Rose of Texas for the first one there...

...the others though....?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Actually, I thought about it and the supposed half heart cake reminds me of a pictograph bear.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

The Valenstines are a family of Jewish bakers, yes?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

[cue music]
Bee mine! Valenstine!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Cooper

Kidneys? Broken hearts? No. That 'sweet' CCC is a pancreas. Get it?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Hmm,I thought 'bunny face' for the first one. Or maybe it's a
"her(r)ing," which is my verification word.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

To all the grils I've loved before,
Now I think I'll gril one more ...

Oops, sorry, Julio and Willie.

All of those "cakes" (using the term generously) are just plain wrong.

Word verification: payben. If one of these decorators is Ben, I'M sure as heck not going to pay him!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Maybe the mystery cake is supposed to be a "Sweet Tooth"? As in, misshapen tooth with an ugly inscription that sort of looks like it might mean "sweet".
Though I have *no* clue what that would have to do with "Valenstines Day" ^^

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViola

the mystery cake says "sweet", so one would assume that the cake would be heart-shaped. but it's NOT shaped in a heart shape...unless it's a heart that has undergone a bypass, perhaps?

sweet heart bypass?

oh, maybe it's cheeks...for "sweet cheeks"??

love how those two "e"'s are next o each other...guess they were running out of room, but it shows how much those two e's are in love...so sweet.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

The last one, the way Valentine's is mis-spelled makes me think of intestine, and that icing doesn't help. Nothing like a bowel organ to express love. That first also remindes me of a hen.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Queen Albatross

I really wasn't going to comment on these cakes, especially since I'm hoping the mystery cake remains a mystery.
But the WV is fluisess. Which is sort of like the spelling/handwriting on these cakes--in the world of cake decorating, very fluid spelling/writing make for success, right?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

a broken heart..

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

I'm another one who clearly sees Ohio in that first cake.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Texas? I totally thought that was Ohio!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterword.

It's #3/#4 with the pink blob next to the brown blob that has me fascinated. Context if not shape makes it clear that the pink blob is a heart, but where does that leave the brown blob? Do we have someone who is so romantic that he loves his intended with not only his whole heart, but also a sizable chunk of his liver? Is it a cake decorated for an interracial couple by someone who focused more on the pink + brown than on heart + heart? I doubt it, because we have two instances of this, so it must represent a standard sentiment. Both are clearly a large pink heart and a small brown blob, so we're not looking at an error of scale. The pink one is undeniably a heart, but the heartness of the brown one is very deniable in each case. I considered "heart tumour" but that's not very romantic.

Final decision: it's a heart-shaped cake for people who are afraid that their true love will complain about pink icing, and demand chocolate instead. A chocolate heart annex, as it were.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Hey, the Valentine candy and stuff is fifty percent off today !!! I found a Dove heart of chocolate--so a few more Valentine's Day cakes are in order---but that first one looks like Ohio, not Texas, in my opinion.

Onward to the next chocolate holiday: Easter !

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

I must concur... add a little orange beek to the right side, and a little black dot for an eye, and that first one is a perfect Rhode Island Red (chicken). :)

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda R

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