My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


I'm kind of a "if it ain't broke don't fix it" girl. Which is why, despite John's ridicule and the fact that it technically IS broken, I still use the first cell phone I ever got after we were married. Sure, it's older than most first graders, the camera no longer works, no headset on earth fits it, and it's dented in several places from my throwing it across the room while playing Psychonauts (love that game), but darn it all, I just figured out how the menu works.

Anyway, I mention all this because today I got a harsh reminder of just how old my phone is:

Yep, old enough to appear as a plastic toy on a Wreck.

And not just ANY Wreck, but one that's ugly as vomit-streaked sin and suffering from a severe identity crisis to boot. Is it a going-away cake? A birthday cake? Both? "Happy Birthday, Billy. Now Daddy and I gotta go! Bye!"

I could also mention the punctuation, spacing, and CCC issues, but really I just can't get over this phone-clone thing. In fact, I think I need to photograph my phone just to show you I'm not making this up. Check it out:

See? Of course, the fact that I wanted to show off my new Mickey Munny doll had nothing to do with it, Christina B. (But isn't he cute?)

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Reader Comments (123)

I had a phone that was 5 yrs old with no intention of replacing it even though the 3 button didnt work but then my bf decided to help with laundry and washed it. I still miss that phone. sigh...

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Psychonauts is love. That cake is so not.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessi

I got my first cell phone in the early 1990s. It was so big (relatively speaking) that I had a separate little purse just for the phone.

That is one butt-ugly CCC, and it must have a multiple personality since it can't decide what message it wants to convey.

Word verification: evera. "It's sure as heck as bad a wreck as evera wreck that was."

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

You should turn your Munny into a Disney-style mouse/Klingon hybrid.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AHHHH. YOU LIKE PSYCHONAUTS? That's my favorite game ever!

Okay, you were already awesome. Now you are MADE of awesome.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValerie Phoenixfire

Oh my goodness, that is the ugliest, most confusing cake ever!

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJo

It's incredible that after all these years of mocking my wife's ancient, uses-an-abacus-instead-of-a-computer-chip cellphone, you post THE SAME PHONE on Wrecks.

Is there something sinister in this Sony Ericsson that creates irrational loyalty in its disciples... I mean owners?

This is the kind of thing that would make me say the following in a phone conversation: "Out of town." So this cake's reduced? Boy, is it ever.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEl Comodoro

Ugly, ugly, ugly...this is why some people should never be allowed near an airbrush.

The Mickey doll is soooo cute.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwolfmom

Yes, Jen, he is VERY cute and the phone clone is freaking me out too!

WV: podermi WTF!?!?!?

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSophia Nightengale

I had my previous cellphone for a few years, and when I went get it upgraded the guy at the store laughed in my face. He said, "You know they don't make these anymore," like it had a rotary dial or something. I got a new phone but it wasn't worth the humiliation.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSadie Thompson

I was drawn out of my little lurker corner by your mention of Psychonauts. I can't get past the damn meat circus part where the water is rising and my dad is yelling at me... it's very traumatic.

As far as the cake goes, it is horrifying. I can't help but wonder if maybe the wreckarator thinks that "Out of Town" is an expression akin to "Out of sight!" or similar. Otherwise I can't understand why you would write it on a cake.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteredeabay

Yay i took this picture and it made it on! I'm so happy!

I saw it in Wal Mart and made my husband distract the bakery person so I could snap the picture with my camera phone.

Sweet! I loved that it was on sale too... can't imagine why! :)

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina B.

Your cell phone might be old, but it's still better than mine. Because I don't have one. I'm 23 years old, and I've never had a cell phone. I'm kind of proud of that fact.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenene

i had that same phonee
and it still works
gotta love a phone that keeps on givin'...

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhippix

That cake looks like it could be older than your cell phone!

Mmmm Mold Coloured.
Who ever thought that a cake could be appetizing when it's THAT colour.

Don't feel too bad about your phone though - mine was marketed to pre-teens (it has pretty flashy lights LOL).

Word verification: Lingi - I didn't want to Lingi longer as looking at this cake made me want to hurl.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

The phone comparison is sad. :(

In case no one else has done this, I will give you the nudge to give yourself permission to just LET IT GO. It's okay. You're still a good person if you buy a cell phone that belongs in this decade.

You get lots of kudos and applause from the "reduce, reuse, recycle" campaign for holding on to a working item and not becoming a consumer just for consuming's sake. But it's time to move on.

I'll get off my soap box. Just sayin' it because I care!

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

That cake confuses and disgusts me.

and hey at least you have a cell phone! Too much money for me so I stick to the $5/month landline!!! People always look at me crazy when I tell them I dont have one :)

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I've been trying to figure out if it's a river or a road on that cake to take you out of town.
To Wrench 0626: I loved Snake. It was about the only game on my phone I could figure out how to play. Alas, the snake..I mean, the phone died and I had to replace it with something that lasted only half as long.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I would wager it's on sale because the person who ordered the cake took one look at that and said " No way." And either walked away without paying or demanded a refund.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereliz

Psychonauts is amazing but the mind-brain-tank-evil battle sequence often causes me to throw random objects around. Usually at my partner who doesn't understand the epic hardness and glory of psychonauts.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

What does that mean, "Out of Town"??? Is that some newfangled teen lingo?? Who texts someone "Out of Town" unless they are LITERALLY out of town?

And honestly - wouldn't "g2g" be more proper than "Gotta Go"? And "ttyl"?

Maybe it's the sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn, but I'm so confused. Amused, but confused.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael M.

Psychonauts made me want to break things.
I think if I saw this cake in person and thought about that game, the cake would be smashed onto the floor and would probably look better there than it does here.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZombie Edward's my birthday today, and that cake sounds a lot like my phone call with my mom this morning. Will she get me another cell phone?

*cue "Twilight Zone" theme music*

---Blue Jean

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Two things.
One. I admire your ability to keep your phone in tact for so long. I've gone through at least 6 in the last five years...I'm a little abusive my cell phones. The one I have now though is remarkably sturdy, having withstood paint, water, and multiple cross-room throws. But kudos to you and your cell phone longevity! It's a great thing to have.

Two. Psychonauts is the best game ever. Aside maybe from Portal. Game on! :)

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Phone twins!

And I love that phone.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

The cake inscription is reminding me a bit of "Rocket Man," the Elton John song...

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNutella Nutterson

I was so amazed at the general hideousness of the cake I didn't even realize it was a CCC!

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbitsie

Ah, I see you have a "brick". Don't worry, those things last forever. Seriously.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Maybe it's not a clone, maybe they just bought a bunch of old phones which they are now using as decorations?

And yay, Psychonauts!

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterliz

my mum has the same phone!
I find it quite hard to use, so I hate having to txt for her on it occasionally.
When my dad passed away, my mum say it was lighting up every morning around 6am something (I forget) which is the time my mum wakes my dad up before he passed away. Spooky or coincidence?

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLillian

Pah, I have a Nokia 5110. Calls and text - good enough for me! It's been through our entire family and I love it. It also doubles as a defensive weapon in emergencies.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZero

And am I the only person that ever since I found this site I HAVE to make a trip to the bakery at the store??? :)

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristie

Omigosh, it's my phone!! You don't know how happy it makes me to see that someone else is still using that model after all these years - I feel validated! I wonder if that's actually a fake phone on the cake or if someone was inspired when they got a new one after having the Ericsson for so many years?

*walking into grocer's bakery* "Dude! My new phone came today, what should I do with the old one? ...Wait..."

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I have that phone too!
and I still use it

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Don't feel bad. At least your phone had a camera at one time! Mine doesn't have a camera, doesn't connect to the internet, and sends and receives text messages when it feels like it.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I possessed and CHERISHED that Sony Erickson for years until my sister borrowed and lost it. I still feel a pang of grief when thinking about the loss, so I guess that just adds another dimension of AUGH to this cake.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

Don't feel bad, I have the original butterfly keyboard Nokia, AND another just like it purchased unlocked. My carrier keeps wanting me to "upgrade." I always say the same thing: "I LOVE my phone, it does all I tell it to and nothing I don't."

We are not alone and we are not going away.

[Dang, that sounds way tougher than it needs to for a cake blog. Jeepers, uh, let's color it unicorn-ish, ya' know, lighten it up some... I'm shutting up now.]

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had that phone too!! It was amazing, so durable.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSasha

My friend just gave in and upgraded from her Nokia 3210, so old it has a yellow screen and pixel graphics!

Man, I want to paint that Mickey doll so badly!

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYusecki

I also had that phone until a few months ago, when the little controller gave up and I couldn't do anything with the menus anymore. It's a really good phone! It's great that yours is still in working condition.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZZamboni

The random! usage of! exclamation points is! almost! Shatneresque!

And about the phone - you mean you have one of those newfangled things with a camera? I bet it has a colour screen too. My unkillable Nokia 3315 is now 6 years old, and has none of that fancy schmancy stuff hehehe.

Word verification: gatisc - a sort of weird choking sound one makes when viewing a particularly horrendous cake wreck.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

I love Psychonauts. I hate the Meat Circus.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That was MY very first phone too. Sad to say, but I have graduated way beyond that one, but i LOVED LOVED LOVED it!!! More power to you for still using it!!!

As to the cake, I just don't get it...

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

It looks like the Disney Dough-boy.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter1st ward RS

I had one of those two phones ago. THEY WERE AWESOME. That was like the Nokia 3310 with a camera (which means good, since Nokia 3310's are like indestructible and are probably made of the same stuff they make the black box in planes of)!

But that was an ugly cake though.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEll

Psychonauts is pretty much the best game ever.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAphrodine

Psychonauts effing ROCKS!

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG! THAT'S MY PHONE! I, too, have been using it forever and refuse to get a new one.

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLillie

Uh...yeah. Well that's the phone my fiance used about three phones ago and gave me as an upgrade to mine. LOL So this one is not as bad as the one I HAD been using...

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeverly

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