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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar112009

Today I am NOT Irish

Nope, today I'm opting out of my admittedly diluted Irish heritage. I refuse to acknowledge any connection, in however small a part, to this:


Where to start? The hand-shaped pasties? The mannish pectorals? Or perhaps the coin-filled diaper?

I'm guessing this is either supposed to be a pregnant woman, a pot-bellied man, or a fat Irish cherub who dances for spare change. I've yet to decide which of those options would make the pasties least disturbing, though. [tilting head thoughtfully] Hmm. Maybe the cherub.

Erin W., I've heard of a "coin slot" before, but isn't it supposed to be in the back?

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Reader Comments (172)

Looking at the picture, I'm guessing its upside-down. Is it supposed to be a bust? (ha! bust) Doesn't make it any less creepy.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJ

For the love of God what IS that?
And WHY???

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCountessLaurie

Wow. Wow. This is honestly the first time I am totally stumped as to what this is meant to represent.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I'll skip breakfast, thanks.

HM

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Happy Medic

Not only is that one of the most visually disturbing cakes I've seen but HOLY CRAP! Although did you notice how smooth the fondant was? *shudder*

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

That is just... dreadful. Somebody needs a psych consult, and if I look too long at that cake, the somebody will be ME!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Are those severed leprechaun hands? Covering the...breasts? Of a...pregnant gypsy? I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I am not ashamed to say I'm frightened.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

This is so wrong, so nonsensical- on so many levels, it's like a cake you'd get from a bakery in sunken R'lyeh.


wv: hylnest

hylnest fhtagn!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJo Asakura

I'd have to pass on a piece of that cake...Yuck !

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Is it maybe a "pot"belly of gold?!? Either way it is sooo wrong.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCraiger

This is why Lenny was let go by the League of Leprechauns. Public drunkenness, public indecency, and, most unforgivable of all, blatant embezzling.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

WTF?! That's the scariest thing you've ever posted. I don't think you need to disclaim any Irish heritage. The person responsible for that monstrosity clearly hates the Irish.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Jen,

While I was laughing at your description of this cake, I showed my Hubs, he thought is a pot bellied man with an Irish hat on !

I have to say, that fondant is really smooth. My guess: It's a guy torso cake pan used to make a cake for a Baby Shower that when horribly wrong...a true cake wreck !!!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

This cake is all-around weird, but those green hands seem especially oddly small. At first I thought the handprints belonged to hubby, but maybe they're supposed to represent the baby's hands? It almost makes sense now...

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to say that my favorite parts are the "cloudy" edges around the picture - making it all fanCEE and the heart on the "clothing". Nice.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Davis

Where did you find this? I mean, you didn't make it yourself to disturb the populace, right? Someone actually thought about making this, came up with a plan and a design and spent time to make it look...the way it does.

And I wish to point out that my Word Verification is "pubscom" which must mean something.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Toepfer

What the hell is that?

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWonder Schwermin

Wow. In the midst of all the other horror, the hacked off arms kind of fall by the wayside in a sea of disturbing elements.

Perhaps Craiger is on to something with the "Pot"belly of Gold...a pun gone horribly, horribly awry...

I would like to know the thought process behind this. I think, anyway. Did the submitter leave any more details about where this was? Or was this just hanging out in the local grocer's bakery?

Happy St. Patrick's Day indeed.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkate

This is by FAR the most disturbing cake I have seen yet. My mind keeps trying to decode it, but just can't understand what I'm seeing. Never mind the coins, what are those floating green hands!!?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Oh, and I like the frosting piping around the torso. It really finishes the piece. Good thing they added that.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkate

Come ON, guys! Can't you see??? It's VERY PLAINLY an...ahhh...one of those...YOU know...(it's right on the tip of my mind here-gimme a sec-)...uhhh...
OH! Yeah--it's a nice slab of corned beef--what the Irish always love to serve on Saint Patty's Day. Right? With a clever garnish of fresh shamrock. 'Kay?
No, no-- Wait! I've got it--it's a prank! Yeah-those little tricksters (Leprechauns) are always trying to pull something on us mortals. How much you wanna bet that they slipped into a morgue, and when the folks weren't looking, made off with part of body that was being autopsied.
Shark attack victim, maybe.
Yah?

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Whoever made this should realize that the sweet white scallops around the edge don't do much to distract us from the horror that is this cake.

Why do people even make torso-shaped cakes? Why does the torso cake mold exist? It's so creepy. What about my mother the amputee? What is she supposed to think?

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMillie

The only reason I am commenting is because of the wvotd, which is:

undrosag: it's what happens when your undros are too big (as evidenced by this cake.)

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

WHat is it with all the headless cakes? They all disturb me. Why make a cake without a head? The way I see it, if you can't make the head, find a new idea. Ick. All around, ick!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterbigSIS

Oh my god I hope this isn't a baby shower cake.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkara

This will haunt my dreams forever. Who thought all this up, and who was encouraging that person!! They should be shot for such a travesty.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Moffitt

Sarge! Sarge! WTF? What'd that effing Leprechaun do to you?

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

The Courteous Chihuahua said Wait, I thought it was Erin Go Bragh, not Erin Go Bra-less.

I nominate Courteous Chihuahua as the winner of this comments thread for that one.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Okay, I've finally figured it out. Not the cake, but my own heritage: I'm decidedly SCOTTISH, not Irish (I was never quite certain before today).

As for that monstrosity pretending to be a cake -- I dunno, but it kind of looks like a three-eyed alien harem dancer's head to me...

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Belly dancing pregnant transvestite??? I can't get over the weird hands and the lack of obvious pregnant lady bosom (having been there, I know)... it's like they made a cake using a Ken doll as a model and then made it pregnant. And a stripper. Eww.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The leprechauns pot belly of gold. Yuck...reminds me of that pregnant man on Oprah

wv...patio..really...there's an Irish man in my backyard. His name is Patty O'Furniture

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Nothing like a shamrock happy-trail to get that irish blood a-boilin'.

It's the bosom that suprises me most. What do you think... a nice full AA cup, maybe?

It's nice to see a tacky objectification-cake give a shout-out to the less-endowed ladies for a change.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHungarican Chick

Seriously, Jen, I think you have it all wrong! Look at the picture upside down and tell me what you think! It's a veil, the coins make eyes and earrings and the hands... Well they're um... Okay, so it's not perfect, but really , look at that thing upside down.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Yes, I'm completely with the people who thought it was an upside-down faceless person with a green hat. Assuming that's not what it really is, it's amazing how much it fails to get its message across!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jenifer and Carly see it the way I do. Turn your screen upside-down and you get a blank-faced individual with coins for eyes and little vestigial T-Rex-like hands held out in front.

Sorry, no insight on what it means nor why anyone would request this.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

This is wrong. Totally wrong. LOL

~Amy B

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Gotta commit to the irishness...?

DB

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDoublebanker

That's just weird.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterConfession Master

why would they do that to a pregnant woman? i want to cry and get indignant about her ruined baby shower just looking at it! boobs to small and close together, hands awkwardly small and positioned and the shamrock modesty down below is REALLY too much!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpinkwhiskey

I think whoever made that wrecktactular monstrosity should maybe lay off the green beer. I wanted to laugh at it, but I was too horrified!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkalos_eidos

All I can do is sit here and make a O_o face.

*Homer-esque shudder*

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

The cake is awful but what's worse is that side scrolling banner ad invading the bottom of my browser on your page.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

Oh. My. Gosh.

That is WAY worse than the orange torso.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Its also a bit frightening that the stomach isn't round, but has a weird corner jutting out. And the white border piped around the top half of the body? These dismembered torso cakes really freak me out!

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBreeAnn

I just kept saying....
What IS that?

I'm so glad I had no prior experiences that would help me
identify that...uhh...that.

Beth (once an innocent)

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For some reasons, the fact that the upper arms are larger than the...umm...breasts is the part that's really weirding me out.

The teeny-weeny bit of Irish in me wants to go all stereotypical on the designer. (Not necessarily the wreckerator...anyone can have bad execution of an idea. But the person responsible for the idea needs a good solid shillaleghing...however you choose to spell it.)

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

You forgot to mention the pretty lacey white piping around the top of the decapitated and dismembered torso - but not the diaper area.

Amazing what some people will do for a living.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

It might be a Mardi Gras cake...

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

My first thought was that there was green, gold, and "coins" that looked black: the three colors on the Jamaican flag.

It took me a few looks before I saw the shamrock; I thought at first it was just a heart covering the female genitalia. Still creepy, though....

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTed S. (Just a Cineast)

Maybe it is upside down?
It is definitely less revolting that way

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKickassninja

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