My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Belly Cakes, Continued

I believe I ended yesterday by saying that belly cakes were in dire need of some serious sex appeal. Well fortunately, a couple of Anony Mice have come to the rescue. Now then, I'll just cue up some sexy saxophone "Muzak" for atmosphere...

[Accordion instrumental of the "Chicken Dance" begins to play]

Whoops! Haha! Sorry - wrong CD. [fumbling with disks]

[Sax rendition of "Whole New World" begins]

Theeere we go. Much better. Ok. Y'all ready?

Ta Da!

Or should I say "Ta Ta?" [wicked grin]

Something about this brings the image of Han Solo frozen in carbonite to mind. But hey, killer nips!

Still, it's just not sexy enough, you know? I mean, it still has some clothes on.

Enter the "Sexy Suds" belly cake!

This clean bit of fun was submitted by the baker herself, although she asked to remain anonymous. And hey, it IS a beautifully done cake - it's just also a pregnant torso wearing nothing but bubbles. (Woo woo woo!)

But you wanna know the best part? Anony writes:

"The highlight was that the belly was filled with custard and with a tacky little plastic baby inside. When the Mom-to-be cut into the cake she had to use forceps (kitchen-tongs) to remove the plastic baby. Honestly, it was VERY funny at the time."

Oh I believe you, my friend - I do. Just remember: It's all fun and games 'til it ends up on Cake Wrecks*. Or 'til mom-to-be's in in the delivery room talking smack and brandishing a pair of kitchen tongs. One of the two, anyway. ;)

*I admit it: This is a shameless plug to sell more CW aprons.

« Well, Cake IS My Drug of Choice... | Main | Return of the Belly Cake »

Reader Comments (111)

I'd never eat it, but the 2nd cake is seriously genius!

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa Newman-Evans

Babies in cakes are not unheard of. In New Orleans, there's a Mardi Gras tradition to put a plastic baby inside a king cake. Whoever gets the piece with the baby has to buy the next cake.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

From the baker of cake number 2...Thanks for all the comments. I actually saw quite a few pseudo compliments there, so I am very happy with the feedback. FYI, that was not foil, it was cake board cover, but it was such a heavy cake (what with the custard filling and all) that I used a wood board and the cover slid a little when the cake was tilted for photos...everybody wanted a pic. The clear bubbles are made from gumball/toy machine toy containers for anyone who is interested. And really, the Mom-to-Be and all the guests thought the cake was a ton of fun. Some of you are just too serious;)

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good afternoon. Okay the "Sexy Suds" cake explanation from the baker only served to make the cake a bigger WRECK. That is just nasty.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYolanda

The second one is quite clever, but I probably would have run from the scene if I'd seen it cut and custard oozing out.

"No cake for me, thanks. *urp* 'Scuse me, where's your bathroom?"

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Coming from a person who dislikes children and will NEVER have any, the story behind the second cake completely grosses me out.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

Grossest part of the whole post:

"HanS Solo"

I can deal with a cake that's made out to look like just about anything. Sure it may be tacky, but I'm at least intelligent enough to know its just a cake and therefore delicious.

That extra S though? Shameful, especially from someone who tries so hard to be a Sci-Fi geek.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did anyone else notice that to the right side of the first cake it looks like there's an arm...but it goes into the shorts-or panties-or whatever the bottom attire is. Um...isn't that a I just say odd?

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

You know, when you posted the belly cakes yesterday I thought to myself "I think the only way I would like these is if there was a little plastic fetus inside, and whoever got it in their slice won something."

Then I decided to not comment with that, because that would just be too tasteless (hee!).

And now, today, you tell me that I'm not as trashy as I thought! Now I'm sad AND unoriginal. :(

...seriously, though, if someone insists on getting a belly cake for my hypothetical baby shower, I'm going to demand there be a fake baby baked into it. My family's just trashy enough to love it.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLissa

Bahahaha! The bubble one looks like one of the breasts is going to break off and float out to sea. Like California. Only California isn't a giant breast... to my knowledge.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCallisto

I've had a stomach ache for days.

Looking at these messes didn't help.


Word verification: horylork. The sound I make when I imagine a plastic baby being pulled out of custard with kitchen tong.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

I wish I had thought of the custard/baby idea for my baby shower!
:) tina

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertwinklescrapbooks

LOL! All the comments listed and none mentioned your hilarious commentary!

I knew to expect some wrecktackular cakes, but reading your intro had me snickering up a fit (I'm afraid to laugh too loud at work--don't want them to think that they're paying me to read blogs all day long).

Kudos, Jen. You and your equally clever husband never fail to put a smile on my face :)

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

I shudder to think what sex DISappeal would look like...


April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBenjamin


April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMe

Is it just me, or are the breasts in the "bubbles cake" uneven?

Also ... the baby inside part ... just ew.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterun-bride

Someone save that poor drowning woman!

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaaike

I can't even get over how nasty these cakes are. Blech. And custard and a plastic baby? Were people gagging, because I certainly would have.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

i've come a little close to barfing while reading this site, but that suds cake has brought me the closest.

so it's a naked belly and boobs in water, says "ready to pop" which makes me think of alien, and when you carve into it (that's not a terrifying thing to imagine) there's a tiny plastic baby. the combination of these factors is making me highly ready to vomit :(

(and i'm sure this has nothing to do with my long-standing anxiety about pregnancy. no. nothing!)

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have been enjoying your blog for a long time, almost every day I drop by for a giggle! I am a student Midwife (that's right, I help pregnant mum's bring babies into the world!) I actually saw my first C-Section today, and I didn't find it funny at all. It's major abdominal surgery, with major complications like maternal death, effects on subsequent fertility, prolonged hospitalization, decreased breastfeeding success...

Anyways, I just wanted a little rant; the alarming rise in C-Sections in America is a scary topic, and I don't think it's funny at all.

Keep up the good work,

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJava_Jane

I was at the baby shower for the 2nd cake, it was a blast. The mom-2-be was a great sport and we all had a blast. Most of the guest already knew about the center surprise. The cake was great.

Cheryl D.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the bubble cake, that's just classic!! Even the whole custard thing, I think is so funny! Maybe I'm a little twisted ??? But I think it's cool =)

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Thank you, "Ready to Pop" baker! I was wondering what you used for the big, clear bubbles, and if they're edible. Excellent use of materials.

Given that I've made an edible bleeding brain for past Halloweens (I owe it all to Penn and Teller's "How to Play with Your Food" book), I'm thrilled with your fine use of custard too. My opinion: great job! Thanks to Jen for posting it too, along with the details.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdessertschick

The first cake looks more like a body builder than a pregnant woman. Everyone needs a Schwarzenegger cake that doesn't just highlight his Terminator days.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was looking at this post but closed it when I heard the door click because I was in a public place. And who should walk in but my very pregnant colleague who was having contractions as we talked. I'm glad I closed the window, as I'm not sure how she would have reacted to these!

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Java_Jane said...
"...the alarming rise in C-Sections in America is a scary topic, and I don't think it's funny at all."
Not so scary as reprehensible.
This subject came up before, here, and it seems that now, apparently, Caesarians are an ELECTIVE option.
And no, there is nothing funny about doctors offering this in order to make MORE MONEY (or in order to spare the mother from having to go through an inconvenient labor). It's the fault of the doctors; no woman can demand it.
But we need to lighten up in this case--even without a disclaimer to the fact, I assume that no one was injured in the making or consuming of these cakes.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

aww, if only i could manipulate fondant...i think the second cake is hilarious! something i so would do.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey Jeremy, the placenta wouldn't be represented by custard. A piece of liver maybe, but not custard. The custard probably represented amniotic fluid, or maybe vernix.

Personally, although I'm not a fan of belly cakes, if that's what the customer wants, these aren't too bad. I really do like the 2nd one. Love the blue and white colors and clear bubbles.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Oh my God, haven't y'all heard of Mardi Gras King cakes? Jen posted a link to one not too long ago. THEY HAVE BABIES BAKED IN 'EM, PEOPLE!

I would eat a belly cake. I have eaten cakes that looked like a lot worse and it's only cake. Perhaps I just have a cast iron stomach. But I have eaten Barbie cakes and didn't think I was eating fabric. I've eaten cakes that looked like dirt and didn't think it came from the garden. I even ate a penis cake one time! I just see...cake.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm used to king cakes, so plastic babies inside cakes don't bother me too much. It's the custard filling and the anatomical realism that make it creepy.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermoonfall86

SO SRS you guys. The second one is hilarious. And it doesn't look badly made, aside from the weirdness of the subject matter.

Agreeing with the anons who mentioned king cake. That's the first thing that comes to my mind when anyone mentions babies and cake. Aside from "oh god where are the towels." And some king cakes have fillings, though I don't think I've tried those.

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTash

I swear, those bubbles conjure up horrible phrases like "bukake pregnant belly cake".

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbatshua

"Enter the Sexysuds belly cake"lol..;D
But is there a plastic baby inside?!
Oh my,i don't think if i can eat it..;D
But they are great.;D

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

So, how big was the plastic baby in the belly cake? Was it like a small doll or a teeny tiny King Cake baby?

King Cake babies:


April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

@jackie31337 - Hey, you beat me to it! I was just about to post that video as evidence why I really have no excuse for making the Han/Hans mistake anymore. (And yet, I still do.) :)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

The second cake made me think of a drowned pregnant woman... with the only parts above water showing? Anyone? They both sort of grossed me out.

As for the person who said the 2nd decorator was a home decorator - so what? That person did a beautiful job, considering. I doubt people care if their cake board is covered with aluminum foil or wrapping paper or whatever. They remember the cake, not the board on which it sets.


April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok I admit it, I love the second cake. And I would totally ask for a baby inside it, but I guess that's just my kind of humor. I think when done right, a Belly Cake is awesome. Unfortunately they usually just turn out hideous.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

To the "Ready to Pop" baker: I started wondering about the logistics of making a dome-shaped, custard-filled cake. My best guess is that you baked flat cake(s), lined a bowl with cake, filled the cake with custard, topped it off with a layer of cake, then inverted the whole thing like a" REL="nofollow">summer pudding. Am I close?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Was there a plastic baby inside?!Oh my...I don't think if i can eat it..;D

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSolo

Sexy bale :p

That reminds me...when I found out about this blog last September, I had to share the pregnant belly caked with another board I frequent, and someone was inspired to write a short story about them.

(Nothing NSFW in the link, aside from links to this blog)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

From the baker of cake 2 again...

to Jackie31337- I used a Betty Crocker bake and fill pan ( and filled with bavarian cream flavored pudding that I had made with slightly pre-whipped heavy cream, thus the custard DID NOT OOZE when the cake was cut. Even I have limits.

to Kathryn- the baby was about 4" long soft plastic... kind of a kewpie doll looking thing.

to Un-bride- All breasts are with it!

For those creeped out by the "Ready to Pop?" message, it was a reference to a 5 year old nephew who, when asking a question about his Aunts' pregnancy, started his questions with "Mommy, when Aunt Tammy pops...."

Out of the mouths of babes...

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the plastic baby doesn't bother me so much as... forceps? in a "funny" baby shower game? please tell me this is not how people view a normal birth!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm really not surprised at the rate of c-sections going up..
they tried to CONVINCE me ALL 4 times I've given birth to have one. Even though I have perfectly normal, easy, pain medication, IV free births... they probably just wanted more money..

As for the cakes, I like them, the custard idea isn't bad... but maybe only because I like Custard. :P
The foreceps idea is the more *shudder* worthy idea to me. Though that's NOT at the fault of the baker at all :P

as for the ready to pop.. I thought it was cute, bubbles pop, people say they're "ready to pop" when pregnant just because you get so damned big you feel like you could burst.

People need to simmer down :P

word verification: viccies .. sort of reminds me of some random thing my Australian friend would say and make me go "what now?"

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKisa

Love the strategeticallly places bubbles. But still to much skin to cut into and eat. Please tell me it wasn't red velvet.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I actually kinda love the bubble cake. It's wonderfully tacky. If that showed up at my shower I'd LOL.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessica

It's an ironic statement on American obstetrics that natural births don't lend themselves as well to kitchen cutlery! ;)

I like the plastic baby inside. Too bad there's no way to cake-ify a uterus (which seems like it would be easy) and intestines (which seems not so easy) for ob/gyn students or something.

Wait, were they forceps or salad tongs?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe man-nurse

OMG! Custard! EEEWWW If something could be gross enough NOT to make you want to eat cake (and custard in this case.) Sorry for the pun, but THAT TAKES THE CAKE!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

To:The Man-nurse:

That sounded like a challenge to some talented Wreckorator out there... Maybe Jen will be getting some Uterus submissions soon.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I KNEW it! I totally guessed on yesterdays post that this belly would have a fake baby inside.

High five!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

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