My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Well, Cake IS My Drug of Choice...

Before I address this cake, I would like to state a few things for the record:

1) My mother reads this blog. (Hi, Mom!)

2) I have never, ever, even remotely considered the possibility of so much as looking at a piece of drug paraphernalia. Ever. (Hi, Mom!)

So my question is this, Stephanie A.: Does a crack pipe really look like a coffee cup filled with bloody mini-marshmallows? 'Cuz I always pictured something a little edgier, like that thing the caterpillar is smoking in Alice in Wonderland*.

*Yes, Disney movies are my only base of reference for drugs. Heck, it was years before I figured out smoking doesn't turn people into donkeys. (Although when the "no smoking" sign is present, it does turn them into jackasses. Booyah! Up high! Haha!)

« Wrecks Rerun | Main | Belly Cakes, Continued »

Reader Comments (133)

I also like that the cake is dedicated to the "favorite" crackhead Addie. Like the person knows tons of crackheads but Addie is certainly the favorite!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

That's pretty hilarious. I thought it was a starlight mint too at first. Have you found any bong cakes yet?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFraulein Furioso

Uh, a hookah is not a crack pipe. Equating a hookah with a crack pipe is worse than the people who assume that I'm a pot head just because I like to kick back with some flavored tobacco now and then.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterE

...doesn't crack come in a little plastic baggy? or in a line on the coffee table? MY only reference for drugs is on the movies, quite obviously.

If the person hadn't referenced a 'crack-head' on the foil I would've been guessing for a very, very long time. Maybe you should get people to send in *good* examples of crack-pipe cakes. We could say it was educational.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterashleyalvina

I bet the person who made this cake didn't even know what a crack pipe looks like... Come on... give the person a break they did the best they could. :) lol

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

Yah...Disney Alice VS REAL Alice...
NO comparison.
Like comparing The Caterpillar to a roach. No drug reference intended--har.

((WHO...are YOU?))


April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I love reading the comments. I'm just as confused as everyone else ... and I was wondering ... would a professional cake decorator actually make a drug cake?! Wowza!

I still think it looks like a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows and really poorly made red sprinkles (the thought of red sperm in my hot chocolate is ... creepy ...)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

@ Leslie:

Wow, I am going to sound like a witch. But I gotta respond to that.

No one's EVER accused Lewis Carroll of liking little boys - he's been accused of liking little GIRLS, such as Alice Liddell, the inspiration for Alice in Wonderland.

But it isn't proven - some historians claim that his family invented a Victorian-approved myth of him as a gentle man who preferred the company of children to that of adults - to cover up the fact that he scandalously had a lot of lady-friends. And of course they didn't think that 150 years later he'd be famous for his supposed pedophilia.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElyse

Weeeell, at least if "Addie" really is a crackhead, cake would be reasonably easy to chew without teeth. :)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRita

It looks MUCH more like a cooker than anything else.
Basically a little tiny bottle cap shaped object that is used to heat drug before they're injected, with a needle.

Many people use a spoon, but the mini-cookers are becoming more popular.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkayeffdee
April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkayeffdee

Doesn't crack make you lose your appetite? How much does a crackhead WANT cake?
This cake is too scary to eat.

And NOW I've got to go Google what a crackpipe looks like, 'cuz I'm sure this cake is not an accurate depiction of one.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMe

I've never seen a crack pipe either, but somehow I don't think this is what they look like.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

I thought it was a hammer and a brain - like a "cracked head". I really have no frame of reference here do I?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my thought was that it was someone actually cooking teh cocaine into freebase crack form... which you do on a stove-- not that i smoke crack, nor have i ever, but unfortunately know a lot about the subject of drugs :(

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Kolleen

I'm not a crack smoker, and neither were any of my school (HS and college) friends/acquaintances. But we used to call each other "crackhead" and say "s/he's on crack" or "I'm [not] on crack" to explain our zaniness....maybe Addie just has funny friends?

Word verification: onsist -- as in, "I onsist you quit smoking crack, Addie. It's not good for you."

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrubian77

Bloody marshmallows! That's what the brains turn to in people that do crack. LOL

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

well if we are going to talk about hookah smoking caterpillars, I would be remiss not to mention the fabulous Alice in Wonderland cake that (one of my fave bloggers) Becky ordered for her kid's birthday (yes, complete with the caterpillar... really!!)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWild Cakes

You people are funny!! These cakes are funny! Happy Earth Day!

I'm trying to be nice today. Isn't my comment nice? Although I did just tell this dirtbag at the gym to shut his piehole... but I'm nice for the whole rest of the day. Even if this cake begs for a bit of sarcastic humor. I won't.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

What the caterpillar smokes in Alice in Wonderland is called a hookah and is not used to smoke drugs. It's actually used to smoke a kind of tobacco. Much healthier for you to smoke than cigarettes, less chemical additives (if any at all) and much smoother since the smoke is filtered through water. The tobacco comes in all sorts of flavors like strawberry and blueberry, etc. I use one all the time, it's delicious.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy



.......Nope. No words for how WRONG this is.

Who the heck DOES this sort of thing? A very, very tasteless joke.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Fine. We're all agreed that this looks nothing like a real crack pipe, and that it's ugly and unappetizing.
What I can't get over is the idea of sending someone a cake to celebrate their crack addiction. This has to be some kind of personal joke, but it takes tasteless vulgarity to a new low (is it the same baker who's been making v-day cakes?)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you Elyse for coming to the defense of Lewis Carroll, who has never been proven to be a pedophile. His relationship with Alice Liddell was said to be that of a father and daughter and that, yes, he adored her and wrote Alice in wonderland as his tribute to her.

As for the Crack cake....since when do we CELEBRATE someone doing crack?????
The whole idea of giving someone a cake to celebrate drug use is so totally warped.

WV: amismam - what the woman said when she emerged from the dentists chair to find her child had torn up the waiting room. ( Or... wait maybe that should be amnotismam) hee! hee!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

I'm glad that Elyse cleared up the Lewis Carroll history. Sometimes I think Freud did us more harm than good by making us not only second-guess everything we do but making it possible for an entire subsection of academics to exist in which we can claim, postmortem and without solid evidence, that dead celebrities were pedophiles, drug-addled, self-loathing, suicidal...

*cough* Sorry. Last two weeks of the semester in grad school. I'm having issues. That said...umm...crappy cake.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

I'm not sure what a crack pipe looks like, but least it doesn't have one of those terrible faces on it, or a pregnant belly-gone-bad, or something...

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiane - DB Impressions

I am with you. No drug references outside Disney and scared straight school programs .Booyah! Love it!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess Danell

The title of this post made me think you were going to talk about this cake: and I was all set to point out that it's not professional. But the tie-dyed-cake is much better than this wreck. I should never have assumed!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA

Neither a crack pipe nor a glass piece for "green vegetables" nor a bong nor a...

No. No type of smoking equipment looks like that, take it from me.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

If it WAS a crack pipe, it would have to be for Frosty the Snowman. Although his pipe is a corncob, perhaps it has a white crack dust film on it?!


It's a really big mug of hot chocolate, with a handle, with lots 'o whipped cream and a smattering of blood from a bloody nose produced from intense amounts of steam from such a large cup of steamin' hot chocolate. Besides those guesses, I haven't the faintest idea what the hell it's supposed to be!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

The donkey thing terrified me. It was the only movie that really scared me with all those naughty kids and that scary whale. I like to think that I was a pretty good kid, but maybe I was scared to turn into a donkey.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Ha!! I'm with you on that - the no smoking sign part that is. I too, have no idea what a pipe would look like nor do I want to know. I'm guessing that the cake designer didn't know either. :)

i am a recovering addict and i have to say...the only thing i love more than cake is crack. *sigh*

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhighonfumes

I too thought it was a hammer and head/brain that was being cracked.
Maybe the recipient is always making jokes and this was a pun on crack head. (hammer/head)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamara

I had no idea that so many cw readers were also hookah smokers. Me too!
That cake is too wrecky for me to even comment on it.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermalmow

My first thought was that it's crack cooking on the stove. In a pot. I've been told they mix cocaine with baking soda (and water? Not sure) over heat on the stove & cook it down.

I like how everyone is quick to deny their association with any sort of drug use ;)....Despite my partyin' days several years back, I've never smoked or cooked crack but I've spent enough time in bad parts of town to know what a crack den smells like (not as bad as a meth lab, but they do stink if you're within 100 yards of one).

This isn't a crack pipe. A bubbling pot of cooking crack (and yes, bloody sperm...I see it too) THAT I would believe.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hope Addie's family members either weren't at the birthday celebration or that they already knew about her habit LOL. Heck, they probably bought the cake....

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Whoa. You know, Disney movies poison the soul. Just thought you'd want to know that fact. Besides, they also depict drug-slurpin' caterpillars. No wonder I thought that caterpillars were big and scary.
(Hi, Mom!!) ^^u

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJumpyham

my five year old son, said it looks like a pan with eyeballs in it. my knowledge of crack pipes is minimal.. and that is a good thing. some things i would rather not know about.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchattyscrapper

my crack experience comes from watching David Fisher being tortured on Six Feet Under and I don't think that qualifies me to critic the maker

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

Hi, Jen's Mom!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK2nSF

i thought it was hot chocolate at first, too!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertalesofexpansion

I had to laugh at Cake being your drug of choice. A" REL="nofollow">UK TV show did a complicated spoof about a drug called 'cake' "It's a made up drug - people make it in their kitchens...etc." In the end" REL="nofollow">a question was asked about it in Parliament by a well-meaning but naive MP.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe_exile

(Although when the "no smoking" sign is present, it does turn them into jackasses. Booyah! Up high! Haha!)

*LMAO* ack almost choked to death oh a grape at booyah!

Cake is ick. Wreckerator is a ass.

Hi Mom!

wv...pacedues. What marathon runners pay in order to be allowed to run.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

I have to agree with Nichole, the little pink things looked like sperm to me.

And having worked in the emergency medical field, I've seen more than one crack pipe over the years. Looks nothing like a white, corncob pipe. Really, couldn't they at least google crack pipe?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJodith

Right.On. to the jackasses comment! Truer words have never been spoken.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChatty Cathy

You can smoke many things in a hookah. The most prevalent thing in the United States (especially in Indian restaurants) is to smoke Tobacco or shisha (as the U.S. doesn't consider the nicotine in Tobacco a dangerous enough drug).

So, Mr. Caterpillar wasn't necessarily doing any illegal drugs. This cake, on the other hand, should be illegal in its own right. It doesn't even impress me as paraphernalia.

By the way, Go Green!!! I love this day.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergreen

Michelle said...
"The donkey thing terrified me. It was the only movie that really scared me with all those naughty kids and that scary whale."
Yeah---that was Pinocchio. Disney's. (Love the cricket, by Jiminy!)
The original was a book by Carlo Collodi, written in 1883. Guess they didn't have flicks back then. Google it and you'll see some really weird illustrations. Maybe Collodi was on crack.

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

What's with the red sperm, though?

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Who does this???

Did the creator say "gee, I really love my friend, how do I express it? Roses...nah. Cute carrots with babies riding on them? Nah.

I know - a crack pipe that looks like an inflatable hammer covered in marshmallows and blood! That's it!! This cake is going to rock (pun intended)

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

I've never actually smoked it myself, blech, but have seen people at concerts... and yes, that is far from what it looks like.

And a hookah would be used for tobacco or marijuana... a crack head would probably sell the thing to buy more crack.

However, were the cake iced in chocolate frosting and the center filled with different shades of chocolate shavings and bits of cherries, it would look kinda like a smoking pipe :-) ...elementary my dear Watson!

April 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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