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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Apr302009

Jen Pipes Down

Although the past few days have been fun, I think we're all ready to just let some Wrecks speak for themselves, don't you?


Wow. Very eloquent, Beth H. I never knew that "fithy years plus nine" equaled a "Happle Birthday." Or that random capitalization and periods (the punctuating kind, that is, not the monthly kind) were so in vogue these days. Maybe. i. should. Try. it.!.*

Ok, Monica S., I promise: As soon as I find some "underware", I'll remember to wear them.

Um. What?
Julie S., did this come with a translator?


Or not to cool?
That is the question, Jodee R.

Exclusionary cake really is the best kind:

Unless of course "But-Ringo" is some kind of unfortunate nickname. Which would make you wonder how exactly...uh...you know...

Yeah, maybe we shouldn't follow that thought train too far down the tracks, eh, Glynis E.? Yeah. Hey kids, just look at that ugly airbrushing! Woo wee, is that ugly! Haha!

*Hey, I just realized that when you combine a ! with two ..s, it looks kind of like a cute little chicken head. See? .!. No? Ok, I've officially been at this computer too long...

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Reader Comments (113)

was that second one for britney spears?? :o) or should i say .!.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Ferber Family

.!. hmm, better in some fonts than others. anyway, you make my day a happier place bok! bok! xxooo 8D

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteronionpencil

'And DON'T call me Butt-Ringo!!!!'

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKara

Thank you Michelle for pointing out the male genitalia look-a-like. I was beginning to think that I have been teaching high school kids for too long (one year) or something!!

I instantly saw the man-part, but eventually saw the chicken. After I squinted a little. :)

Oh, and .!. Teehee.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

.!. Yup, it does look a bit like a chicken head. When it's all the rage, you can smile with pride and say, "Yup, I came up with that one." ;)

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Who's Cool? I don't know him. What? Oooooh! TOO Cool!

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

These can't really be professional cakes, though, can they?

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersylvia

Yay! The horrible CCC I found around valentine's day was posted! "To cool!" ;) Hehehe!

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjodea

Wow, that Ringo cake just blew me away. At least he can brag that this disaster of a cake was not meant for him. I'd be happy about that.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScientific Chick

You would think that if there was one word that anyone who is paid to decorate cakes (no matter how little training they have or how stupid they are) could spell it would be the word HAPPY.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnother other mother

Appreciate the chicken head. I might make it part of my official signature. Way better then :)

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindalou

I have to wonder if some 17 year old had a history of forgetting their undies (be it underware or underwear). So much that they needed a cake to remind them??

I love the chicken head. :)

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTristan's Mom

Great comeback, Jen! Hilarious cakes. My head hurts, but I'm laughing, so it's all good.

Haiku Joy and poornamelesscat - you both made me laugh!!

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Okay, the dots on either side are the eyes? And the top of the exclamation point is the crop? But, where is the beak? Is it like a peeps marshmallow head staring at us? Do I need a special font and font size?

.!.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

That airbrushing was bad, but it would have been only mildly awful if they had omitted the black.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

Wendy said...
"I see the chicken head!! Yay! And also, I am snorting with laughter..."
***********
*I* see the chicken (or quail)head, too...but I'm snorting something else...

((Just kidding!))

Jen--watch out! A cat is stalking your chicken:

=^ )) ^ = .!.
..and he's almost got her!

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The last cake personifies the term 'Technicolor yawn.' Blargh!

'To Cool'--what, is it a cake that's going to a beatnik party? Will they all snap their fingers as it's brought in? 0_o

The misspelled (and incomprehensible!) one reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons when Lisa asked Marge if Homer had ever written a love letter. "More like a love postcard," Marge clarified, and showed Lisa a souvenir Homer had sent from Duff Brewery. It sounded an awful lot like that cake! 0_o

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

haha i love the underware.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe girl on the street.

I GET that Dave has Been Rolling Strong for Fithy years and all. Or is that Fitly?
But I just don't get the extra NiNe tacked on like an amended prison sentence. Exactly what was Dave rolling, anyhoo?
>^??^<

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

i think that cake is actually addressed to "cool".

you know. the entity. maybe it's cool's birthday or something. or maybe "warm" is sending "cool" a going away cake.

yessss.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermary

As usual, your comments SLAY me. But the chicken head was over the top! I think all of these fantabulous mistakes have started to mess with your vision.

.!. will be my new e-mail signature, even if no one else understands.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

The first cake made me immediately think of the movie "LA Story" - when Steve Martin's character was dating SJP's character, Sandy, except she spelled it SanDeE* - and I like the chicken head...I got it and I've only been on the computer for 15 minutes!

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary

This post was freekin' hilarious! It's always funny when the cakes are bad enough to speak for themselves ;-)

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Masked Mommy

Too cool LOL I like the chicken head too but then I raise them so I am partial. .!.

Jessica

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Cake #3--I think it's actually written in Russian...

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Hey, maybe the 17th birthday cake was for a girl and they misspelled "underwire!"

:D

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjenncgf

I love the anniversary cake! I don't have any actual affection for it...I just think it's amazing that someone, somewhere thought that was coherent.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

long live chickenhead!!!

.!.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

.!. That's fun! I'm surprised they spelled "anniversary" correctly. And Ringo is my dog. He's not allowed to eat cake.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaysha

Dear Jen:

What is the freaking e-mail address in which i could e-mail you? I have a million bajillon cake pictures to e-mail you! Anybody can tell me where to e-mail her?

Please tell me!
www.pinkfarts.blogspot.com

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPink Farts Website

If you combine a comma, 3 periods and an exclamation point like this: ..!., it sort of looks like a rude gesture.

Just sayin'

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeffrey

The last one is tellitubby poop revisited.
Once again, the Engrish people are after us with the heart cake (When are they gonna learn when to use real English???) It makes us Grammar Punks weep, sob and everything in beetween.....

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJumpyham

Love those cakes.I love that small little cake.So cute..D

http://www.soloden.com

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

Hello! I'm Monica S., submitter of the "Underware" cake! Some people asked for the story behind it, so here goes...

My cousin Bobby, who actually turned 18 yesterday, accidentally let it slip that every once in a while he goes "commando." And the cousins always tease him and bring it up at the most unexpected moments to embarrass him. So, on his 17th birthday, I decided to run out and get him a cake and invite some people over. We didn't realize the misspelling on it til right before we lit the candles. The cake ended up being used in a food fight because he was so embarrassed!

Needless to say, Bobby now knows to wear "underware" or else he knows the cousins will call him out!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMoni

I'm with Blair.Please tell their stories..;D

http://www.solofoodtrip.com

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSolo

BWAHAHAHA!!! Snort, gasp...
LOVE it, love you, don't ever leave us 'cause you are the BEST!!!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPetrina

lol :P That cake to their mama and "mayee" (???) for their wedding anniversary is absolutely hilariously weird :P

P.S. lol! chicken! .!.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

I'm guessing the first cake should have looked more like this: Dave's been rolling strong for 50+9 years = Happy Birthday! It doesn't make much more sense, but it helps.
As for the third cake, well, perhaps it should be "To Dear Mama and Pa Mayee on their 35th wedding anniversary, all the best". But that only makes sense if Mayee is the last name.
Never mind, none of it makes sense. It's like trying to find meaning in tea leaves, clouds or piles of stained clothing. I quit.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Angry Jackalope

If you put one more period on each side of the "chicken head" it looks like a different type of bird entirely. Let's call it the NYC offical bird, 'mkay?

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorelieLong

The last one, I don't think the painting is professional. My daughter decorated her own cake last year. We had the bakery make a cake frosted and piped in only white, and she bought cans of spray to make it look tie-dye (we bought to save time). She then sprayed it similarly, and wrote her own words.

Looking at it now, I guess it's technically a wreck! We thought it was great since she did it herself. I'd send a link, but now I'm scared!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternikki

Unfortunate spelling aside, the "underware" cake looks DELICIOUS. Mmm, goopy white icing.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see your chicken head and I raise you a ô¿ô cute little dude peeking over the line.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLulu

Nope. Add two (). now what does that look like?

(.!.)

haha. sorry. lol.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGINNY

The "underware" cake looks more like it says "underuone" to me.

I think that other cake says, "To dera mama and am mayee tkein 35th wedTV eh anniversary"

I am not sure what that means, but amazingly they spelled anniversary correctly!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzi K.

Oh yeah I took the but-Ringo cake to mean that everyone else was turning 30, but Ringo was turning some other age...

>^-.-^< (sleeping cat)

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzi K.

Holy Cow Jen, that .!. is cute!
I know it's been said a hundred times already.
this is my first comment here ever so I'll say this now:
LOVE CAKEWRECKS!!keep up the excellent funniness :)

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmma R.

I see chicken head. Can you figure out how to make a rabbit for me?

May 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMei

"To Cool" is obviously a birthday cake for some kid whose parents named him after the http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098067" REL="nofollow">Parenthood character.

May 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthomast

thanks. That But-Ringo cake really made my day.

May 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelesa

i thought people stopped reminding seventeen year olds to wear underpants in the seventies. then again, i didnt wear them @seventeen & it was the eighties--but i was married & we certainly had not yet been forced to forget the seventies influence &, truly, its stunning existence.

on that note, i see yr chicken head & raise it, [pun intended]:
--@
o||o [please ignore dashes & leading, blogger wouldnt let me leave spaces nor fiddle w/ leading, but it's, ah, anatomically correct elsewise}

something like that.
i am not good at ascii art, mind you, but i really think an occasional change in font size might be of assistance.

May 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter::poltergasm::

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