My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Why Beat a Dead Horse...

When you can eat one?

Am I right, Christin C.?

What's that? Ah, Robyn N. wants me to up the ante! Ok, how about a horse/cow mash-up cupcake cake?

No matter where you go, that eye will be watching - aaaallllways waaatching....
Check out the icing depth, too; most impressive.

Oh, but look! We have another contender entering the ring!
That thar's a mighty small pho-to for such a gee-gantic Wreck, Brio. Yeehaw! This buckaroo may only work out his front legs, but them fillies shore don't complain. (This concludes my attempt at a Texas drawl. Y'all.)

Allison's trying to get ahead (get it? A head?) with this sporty specimen:

Heh. That startled expression makes him look like he just inhaled that baseball Hoover-style.

But the undisputed winner has to be this one from Celeritas:

"Hey mister, why the long face?"


Next time I'll tell ya the one about the bartender and the grasshopper.

You would think that every horse head cake would come served on a pillow, though, wouldn't you?

Oh, wait - looks like I spoke too soon:

Ewww. I'm all for movie references, Erin M., but that's definitely an offer I can refuse.

NOTE: If this post looks familiar, there's a reason for that. And if it doesn't, that means you don't check CW first thing every morning, and should be ashamed of yourself. Hmph. Call yourself a Wreckie, do you? Where's your sense of Wrecky loyalty? Where's your pride? Where's the frickin' remote? (Seriously, I lost it. Have you seen it?)

« We are experiencing technical difficulties... | Main | Jen Pipes Down »

Reader Comments (141)

So wrong (that first one looks like decorated poop, I'm sorry to say), yet so funny!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I think the long face one looks more like a camel...or an anteater

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTodd

My Avatar LOVES this last one. Not sure why...

As for me, however, I LOVE that first horseycake. Ridden to exhaustion in some B western, the sheer weight of the frosting mane and tail just were simply too much to carry through the Sonoran desert.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEl Comodoro

The one from Celeritas looks like a dust buster covered in frosting.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

I just want to know what they made the horse hair on the last one out of? Eeeww, it actually looks like hair.

I thought I was in a time warp. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

Seriously, how do they manage to get the eyes to be that creepy? Eek!

I am a true Wreckie because Cake Wrecks is the first site I check every morning!

When this post was first published, I had every intention of emailing it to my sister because my niece loves horses. Now I can finally do just that!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRoseAnn

REposted just in time for the Kentucky Derby ( :-)

I have to admit that the first time this got posted I thought it was because of the Derby. But then in my family the Derby is second biggest holiday of the year (after Christmas).

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Jen, you're freaking hilarious!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJill A

Just in time for the Derby!!!!

Seriously, these are horrible on SO many levels! But hilarious!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

Oh, you guys, I love you to tiny little pieces. (Check your site every morning, first thing! ;-)

Tomorrow's my irthday, and I'm so hoping for a wreck! And a PONY. Oh, and sprinkles. If I'm really lucky, maybe the local grocery store will provide all three in one. Because if there's one thing these horse cakes lack, it's inappropriate sprinkles.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

"Comments Deleted!"
Exponentially, Cake Wrecks
drama is growing.

wv: mericul. This blog is a blessed mericul to me, a beacon in my humdrum life.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Oh weird. I dreamt about loosing my remote last night... I wonder if this is a sign?

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

The "long face" one reminds me of H.R. Giger's Alien.....

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdarkshines

I'm so glad you put these up for Derby Weekend! EXCELLENT!

The first one might've been a pig or a bulldog before they added the mane and tail.

That third one seems to have a large wing attached to his posterior. And uh, I'm gonna withold my thoughts on his regrettably dangling underdeveloped left back leg.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for bringing this wreck back. ;-)

I love any cake that references a classic movie, and the Godfather horse cake just may be going on my top 10 list.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

i actually REALLY like the horse headon the pillow!!
I think it's the tongue that makes it a winner for me :D

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurel

I don't know if anyone's said this yet, but I can't help saying about the one you call a cross between a cow and a horse, there are horses with spots like that. They're called piebald, I believe.


May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

<3 the Godfather cake. Is it too much that I was sort of hoping for a Tin Drum horse cake?

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterehla

Long face horse definately looks more like an anteater!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

HUH! Who ordered these cakes...the mob?! What kind of "family" would actually put these on the table and say "Dig in". And which part do you cut first without a lot of tears and drama..."No mummy don't cut the horse's head off!" WAHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna go and eat pie now.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMai

Gee this all looks FAMILIAR>...
and I still have just 1 word:


You know, that last cakewreck would actually look pretty, if it didn't have SPLATTERED BLOOD all over the neck! *gag*

I hope my sister doesn't see this post today. Horses are her life.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMe

hey guys.. ease up on Jen....

she posted earlier about the polo thing in FL, but remember this weekend is Derby (and folks in KY started partying weeks ago). I think this is the time to post equine wrecks..

if i missed the memo.. why are so many posts getting deleted in the past few days??

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In response to Mai

"HUH! Who ordered these cakes...the mob?! What kind of "family" would actually put these on the table and say "Dig in". And which part do you cut first without a lot of tears and drama..."No mummy don't cut the horse's head off!" WAHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna go and eat pie now."

A little off topic....

When my niece was two we got a horse pinyata for her birthday party. A couple of swings in,and the body left the head dangling on the rope Had a barn full of crying children in minutes, and my niece was SO tramatized...still have pictures of her and her tear streaked face!! I'm glad we didn't do a horse cake!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJstPam

you should do a swine flu-related entry. something about dead pigs.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKati M.

The third one, with the manly chest, is bothering me. Yes, I know that's suppose to be the inside of the off leg there, but being a stallion owner I must say it looks more like he's well endowed.

Of course, in that case the testosterone could explain the chest.

WV - handeds. Beware he who handeds you a horsehead on a pillow...

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

Is it just me, or does the icing on the Godfather cake look plastic?

Also, does anyone else get mad when they check Cakewrecks first thing in the morning and it's not updated yet?

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMilton

That last cake makes me want to host a Godfather themed party... Must send to friend whose husband does an exceptional Don Corleone impression.

And despite the wrecky cakes, my cravings for cake with frosting has increased exponentially since I started following this blog.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I'm pretty sure the "cow-horse" was supposed to be a paint (a commenter named a colour pattern of paint- piebald.) With that in mind it looks more like the creation of a 7year old horse crazed little girl (much like I would have done at that age)

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

So, so, so, so wrong.

I can not imagine what compels people to want to put stuff like this in their mouths.

Although, I would have an easier time eating some of these creations than some of those shower cakes. *shudder*

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwundermary

oh dear. o_O

the first one was sad and the last one was just...horrible.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterManda

I think I'd rather have a cake of old Don Corleon's face than a severed horse head. The long face cake looks like something I've seen at the zoo. I think someone mentioned a tapir. Yes, that's it. A severed tapir head.

Also, ew...the scary eye looks like a cockroach.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermittens

I do check it first thing in the morning. It's not my fault that my time zone is 2nd to last in the 24-hour spectrum!

Your remote is probably deep in the couch cushions. That's where we usually find it!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

Still too soon.

I like the concept of this blog and much of the writing, but you tend to make poor choices with the content. First the birthday cake of a baby that passed away and now this.


May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous don't have words for that first one...threw me right back to when our pony died when I was a child.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKateri

Since Saturday is the Kentucky Derby, perhaps the red stuff around the horse's neck is supposed to be the drpe of roses placed around the winner's neck? Your blog rocks!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Godfather cake is hilariously amazing, b/c it's done so well. Except, I didn't think the one in the movie had it's tongue hanging out. LOL

The horse on steroids must be quite the "stud", and the long face made me think of something else, but I'll just say "pickle."

~Amy B
PS; Jen, I know you're not making light of the horse tragedy in FL. It's over and nothing could be done. Wreck on!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Yikes.... last one is SCARY!!

I love your blog!!! It's great! I just hope to never see one of my cakes on your list :)

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaychel

That last-but-one cake looks less like a horse than an aardvark.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one looks like a frosted Spam loaf to me. *shudder*

WV: reallu. Reallu? Yes, reallu!

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

The last one makes me want to vomit.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCory

My expression while reading this post:


Dang. Wow. Those are...those are different.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Those are hella gross.

It's not like there can't be a decent horse type cake, either. I have a carousel horsie pan by Wilton, and there was a rocking horse one, too. I think they're both no longer made, but there's always ebay. I use the carousel horsie for baby showers.

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Melissa said...

What is bad is that the last one is the best one rendered uh... sort of... yea... nevermind...

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it me or does the first one look more like a pig than a horse with a vibrant hair do?

The third one is pretty good. At least, it looks good enough to eat! =D

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Omg I didn't see the little bits protruding from the third one. O_O I take my comment back on the third one, it does NOT look good enough to eat. *is horrorstruck*

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear Anonymous,

As always, I started writing a long response to your comment and promptly deleted it.

I ask that you remember just a few things:

1. Jen makes the call on what gets posted on Cake Wrecks.

2. We love and value our readers and encourage you to comment and give your suggestions.

3. Jen reads all of the comments and tends to take them to heart. If you are being mean to Jen in an anonymous comment, know that you are being mean DIRECTLY to Jen.

4. You are free not to read the blog.

Thank you for your criticism. Somehow I know that you will be back on the board to make sure your negative comment got published.


The one with the loooong face is freakin horrible!!!

The last one... YIKES... scary!

I love your blog, IT'S GREAT, but hope to never see one of my cakes on your list :)

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaychel

Square, joints akilter,
Leafy tongue . . . let's just pray there's
cake inside that head.

wv: dersi

I dersi there's some funny equine cakey wreckerators out there . . .

May 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>