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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May122009

Happy Birthday to Meeee!

GUESS WHAT?!?

It's muh birfday.

Awwww yeeeeaaah.

Now, I could celebrate by taking a cruise:

(A really really short one.)

Or by getting myself a new pair of...shoes:


Or go the traditional route and just get schnockered on booze sprinkles:

(After which I will apparently choke on ribbon and die. Hm. Ok, maybe not.)

And yet, all of those options (particularly the last one) pale in comparison to how I'm going to celebrate my birthday. How's that, you ask? Well, allow me to tell you...in song.

Hit it, Bobby!

[cranking up Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack]

"Too hot to handle, to cold to hold,
my name is Jen Yates and it's my birthday, yo!
So I'm throwin' a party, virtually speaking,
And I've got amazing news so please keep reading.
Now pack up your group, get a grip, come equipped,
Go pre-order lots of my book and then split!"

[music screeching to a halt] Of course I mean "split" in the ice-cream-eating way, not the hike-taking way - but you knew that, right?

And did you catch the big shocking news*, or were my sweet rhymes too dazzling for you? (*Granted, it's not quite as shocking for you Twits, since I inadvertently leaked it last week...) Yep, that's right: Cake Wrecks the book is now available for pre-order! Can we take a moment to savor that bit of sweet insanity?

[savoring] Mmmm. Yeah. That's the stuff.

Now, since I know how absolutely terrible you must feel over not getting me a birthday present - or even a card! You bum! - may I suggest a way to alleviate that burden? Buy yourself a gift. The gift... [cuing Hallmark music] of laughter:

(NOTE: This is NOT the final cover. Check back at 12 pm EST to vote for the cover you like best!)

[announcer voice] Yes, that's right! You'll get this lovely 6x8 hardcover edition of Cake Wrecks, When Professional Cake Go Hilariously Wrong, with over 19o pages of new Wreckage, fan favorites, behind-the-scenes commentary from Jen, reader stories, cakey controversies, and much, much more, all for the low price of $12.99! What a deal!

Why pre-order today? I'll give you seven good reasons:

7. It costs a heckuva lot less than a CW t-shirt.
6. It makes me look good.
5. Buy one for all your friends, and your Christmas shopping is done.
4. You'll get the book automatically shipped to you as soon as it's released.
3. High volumes of pre-orders somehow factor in to the mysterious industry formula that lands titles on best-sellers lists. Is that a lofty goal? Sure it is. So loft with me, darlings.
2. Every single order will give me a personal warm fuzzy. And it's my birthday, so today's the best time to send me warm fuzzies.

And the number one reason to pre-order Cake Wrecks today? (drum-roll, please.)

1. The Carrot Jockeys command you!

Wrecky World Domination, here they come! ;)

You can order Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong from Barnes & Noble, Borders, or Amazon. (And as a bonus, both Barnes & Noble and Amazon are now offering impressive discounts off the cover price.) So what are you waiting for? Do it! Do it NOW!!

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Reader Comments (201)

YAY!!

I'm all the way in Trinidad but I think I'll be getting myself one soon!

And Happy Birthday!

The wrecks are quite hilarious! Just reading the commentary on the third one made me want to go get schnockered on sprinkles too! Not sure I want any um...shoes...for my birthday though!

Brianna M.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

"Happy" bitrhday!1

And that boob job cake is epic.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMara

Happy Birthday Jen!! I look forward to reading your blog every day and Im pre-ordering your book too! I cant wait!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristy-Lynn

It a Gril! Hippy Balker Sirtherday! (That means "Happy Birthday" Jen in Wreckspeak)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Ahh, I love me some Amazon!! Just preordered your book, so excited to get it! Happy Birthday and many congrats on releasing your book!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Happy Birthday Jen!
I love your blog, I read it everyday morning as soon as I log on at work... shh, don't tell anyone!
Congrats on your book, you're going to be a famous literary type person now! Woot~woot!!
Lisa

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Leggett

Happy Birthday Jen!

I would love to vote on the new cover, but sadly all there is in the box for voting is a GOOGLE AD! Refreshing just changes the ad.

:(

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergothicbeauty21

Awww, happy birthday, Jen! And congratulations on your book! Can't wait to get and I think I'll get at least one for a Christmas gift.

Wreck on whichyer bad ol' self, Jen!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

Happy Birthday! Love love the blog!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Cherryspoon

Elephant Cake.... um; apparently there's a bakery stupervisor somewhere that missed the discussion about checking for color blindness before allowing anyone to wreckorate anything.

WV: trami. I'm gonna trami skills at cake wreckorating.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Happy Birthday!! Oddly enough, yesterday was my birthday! Yay Tauruses!!!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDevika

Oh wow! It's my Birthday too and I logged on hoping for some really great (not) birthday cakes for today's blog! 1st time commenting, long time reader. I think I'll get myself a present and preorder your book!
Happy Birthday to you, and thanks for the laughs!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hippo Birdie Two Ewe! And congratulations on the book!

Maybe you should have a wreck to celebrate when your book comes out. *g*

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I pre-ordered the book. Happy Birthday!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Happle Irthday!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birthday!! Love your blog! and now I have that "Fitty" Cent song stuck in my head!

"Hey Shorty, it's yer Birfday"

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

Happy birthday!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

It's my birthday today as well. Happy Birthday Jen.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjenni

Happy Birthday Jen! My baby's 1st birthday is today as well. Hope you have a fabulous day!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

pink elephants. YES!!!

happy birthday. looking forward to sighing over the book next time I'm at Barnes & Noble, a place I go just for the pleasure of handling clean books. (I work at a downtown library. I'll make sure they order a copy. But wait... does it go under Humor or Food? Guess we'll need two.)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Leastlikely

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEN!!!!! I hope you get sprinkles. Lots and lots of sprinkles.

I pre-ordered your book!! YAY! Can't wait!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Happy birthday In Bold Purple
Below That We Love Your Blog!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkerri

Happy birthday! You have the same birthday (and name) as me. :D

Jen D

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterabbajen

Happy (belated) Birthday! Thank you for all you and hubby John do to give such hilarity and entertainment each and every day. I have ordered a copy of the book and cannot wait to receive it!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNakia

Happy birthday! I hope you get all the sprinkles that your heart desires. But not like that purse cake. Overkill and all that.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

happy birthday! i love your blog--it always makes me laugh.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNotSoccer Mom

Hippy Berfday Jen...This is the cove I would buy! Go for it. Forget the baby cakes and the wookie.

WV...PHOIN...I would phoin in my vote, but the cellphoin needs charging

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWM

Happy Birthday Jen! Now we wanna see your cake...

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Happy Birthday Jen!

You Rock!!

Keep on Wreckin'!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCALpumper

(In my most off-key voice)Happy happy Birthday from all of us to you! I wish it was my birthday, so I could get new...shoes!

Speaking of the "new shoes" cake...did anyone else notice the...ummmm... "alternate pair" on the table or was that just me?

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YAY FOR MAY BABIES (my bday was yesterday)!

I hope your book is a success! :)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Barnes & Noble Online price is $9.74! I'm a member, so I get it for $8.76!!!!

As soon as I get paid on Thursday, I'm preordering 3, me and 2 for gifts.

75% unseen material? Yowsa!

I am a letterboxer and posted on a letterbox board a message on how to find cakewrecks and the following:
*****
Be forewarned: cakewrecks is an addiction. I have laughed until I cried reading this blog.

If you don't read it regularly, take some time to read all the older posts. Believe me, you won't be sorry!

KuKu
who will never forget the day she read Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys and knew her life would never be the same!
*********

And it never has. . .

SueKuKu

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue KuKu

My initial thought upon seeing that first cake was that it was a reference to that Christmas Special of Doctor Who. The waterfall doesn't really fit, but there's a very astral vibe going on in the decoration. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. :)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike Brady

I started to read this post and guess what song came?? I am going to party like its my birfday. So weird.

I love your blog!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Today is also my younger brother's birthday. He would have been 28 years old today. Splendid day for a celebration!!!

Happy birthday Happy birthday and thank you so much for the giggles!! I hope your day is full of laughter and love!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess MAR

Happy Birthday! Does the color on that cruise one give anyone else the heebie-jeebies?

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

Happy Birthday Jen!! Here's to many more. Thanks for all the laughs you bring me and all your other adoring fans.

Have a best-cake-ever kinda day! I'm heading to Amazon to pre-order.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterredraven

My birthday too! Happy co birthday!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercaro

First, Happy Birthday!

Second, sorry for being difficult but I don't like the three options. I do like the "... Suzanne ... Under Neat ..." cake. The babies are a tad too disturbing. A poorly written/spelled cake on the other hand.

Can't wait to see the book. Thinking of all the people I know who make cakes and would not be offended to receive this as a gift.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Happy Day! Hope it's aaammmmaaazzzzzing :)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

i vote for THIS book cover...it's a professional cake that is CLEARLY messed up, but trying to be passed off as still great! totally wrecky:) now that i have come back to this post, i decided i don't like any of the options in the poll. GO WITH THIS ONE!!!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen bryner

Woohooo! Happy birthday! It's my son's birthday today too!

Congrats on the book news.
'Fraid my fav. cover was the mock-up in this post though, not one of the 3 to vote on.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchipoosheet

Happy Birthday! Hope it's a great one.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfairyhedgehog

Happy Birthday! Thank you for the buttercreamy good times!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermeg in mirth

Dear Under Neat That,
Be Thou Jen's Cake Wreck Flagcake!
All love ~ Haiku Joy

wv: belyfich

Don't eat too much pink elephant, or you'll get a belyfich.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Happy, happy birthday, Jenn!

And, thanks for all the laughs you've given me. :)

Congrats on the book!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlori

Happy Birfday Jen!!

:)

(((HUGS)))

Jessica

PS Yes I misspelled Birthday on purpose LOL

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Happy birthday! Thanks for running such an entertaining blog! I put in my order with Amazon. :)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterselasphorus

Happy birthday!! Today (12th) is my buddy's bday and Friday is mine. I think we both need a book....

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaylyn

Happy Birthday, Jen! Thanks for always bringing laughter to my day! I'm on my way to Amazon.com now! Can't wait for the book!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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