My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

To the Pain

These cakes have been left to wallow in their freakish misery forever, but we viewers are the ones who really suffer for it.

For example, tell me you don't get a brain-ache from trying to comprehend...

The cycloptic smiley clover of despair!!
(Now with matching ladybug!)

And that popping noise can mean only one thing:

"Pool Party Patty" has some serious 'splainin' to do.

You know what every caramel cheesecake needs?

Pretty much anything but large poo-swirls topped with plastic mold-specked hot dogs and hamburgers, that's what. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the little surfing 'dog on the left:

C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?

And lastly, check out what Amy S. got for her rehearsal dinner when she requested a simple sheet cake with a logo on it:

I don't know what that is either, Amy, but I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.

Moira & Stephanie E., these cakes are inconceivable.

« Coulrophobia Cakes | Main | Cake Wrecks Turns One! »

Reader Comments (225)

I forgot to wish you happy birthday yesterday. Checked in, but work was too busy to read the comments and add my own.

But I discovered your wonderful blog on the day you posted the Olympic Rings cake, and have been snorting religiously ever since.

I turned many of my fellow cube-mates onto it, too. So each morning we come in, work, work, work, and then someone laughs... signalling to check out Cake Wrecks! The post is in! Who'da thunk there were this many wrecky cakes? Many more years, Jen... MANY!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

Long live the Princess Bride! So much fun to see it again this weekend! I thought your references were great and then I read everyone else's. LMOA with tears streaming down my face! Thanks for the laughs as those cakes were truly "inconthevable."

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

I'm hoping that at least one of these bakers suffered HUMILIATIONS GALORE after making these cake wrecks!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDana

The Princess Bride is the best movie. Ever.

"To blaaaaaave" That's what these cakes are doing. Blaving. Because clearly they are trying to bluff their way into making everyone think they're really SUPPOSED to be that ugly.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeathahLee

Amy, "Yeah, I'd like something simple. You know, like a sheet cake."

Wreckorator, "As you wish." A little while later.

Wreckorator, "Oh my sweet sheet cake! What have I done?"

Wreckorator jumps off mountain.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam

And let's not should wait what, an hour before going swimming! :)


May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervanni

Stop rhyming and I mean it!

Anybody want a peanut?

NOW I see the campfire in the middle of the cheesecake. It all makes perfect sense now. How else would we cook the burgers and dogs?

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Brings new definition to SHEET cake.... are those supposed to be bed sheets or aluminum sheets made of chocolate??? Huh...


May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVisione Bella

I was really hoping to see some princess bride cakes here! Something like... An R.O.U.S, perhaps?

Yes, someone actually made an R.O.U.S cake.

WV- Phosa
I'm gonna phosa girl that I know to make me an R.O.U.S cake for my birthday.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAelysium

When I look at the hot dog surfer, I hear the Old Spice song in my head...

O fortuna...

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

"Customers who bought "Cake Wrecks" also bought "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by Jane Austen." Hmmm...they also viewed a turtle pull-apart cake (CCC?)mold.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

GAH!! I can't even come up with a clever Princess Bride comment because everyone else has already done it!! Oh well. I'll have to check earlier in the morning next time.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

Ohh, and in reference to the ROUSes, didn't you have a rat cake post back there somewhere? Some heinous Steel Magnolias flashback... I think it would totally fit here. *nod*

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVisione Bella

A chocolate poo cheesecake with hotdogs and hamburgers... what the heck??

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzy

See, the wreckerator at the bakery where Amy S. got her cake has a very negative view of marriage. So since s/he felt that Amy was "throwing her life away", s/he made her a garbage bag cake.

It's all very simple, really. ;)

WV: pawdle - a small puddle just deep enough to ensure that your dog tracks muddy water all through your house.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Luxuries

I love the Princess Bride and your blog. Both of them together is awesome.

I'm a race fan and even I don't understand that last one...seriously what was is supposed to be?

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBobbi

Ah! So, uh, I guess the link that I posted is to a site that tries to put malware on to your computer. Very sorry for that! Why people would use a site called bonbonchocolates for evil is beyond me, but...

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAelysium

Oh wait!! I got one!!!

The hot dog surfing on poo cake... I know what cake that is. It is the Cake of Refuse. So bow down to it if you want, bow to it! Bow to the Cake of Slime, the Cake of Filth, the Cake of Putrescence. BOO!! BOO!! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! BOO!! BOO!! BOO!!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

Oh, this is great! I love this blog that much more now. Cakes (however wrecky they may be) and Princess Bride quotes, doesn't get much better than that, LOL. On that last one, I'm seeing 'sheets' too, but yeah, how the wreckerator got that idea is INCONCEIVABLE! 'Have fun stormin' da castle!'


May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh man! That first cake is THE BOMB!

WV: snerunf. That final cake is meant to look like snerunf.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCallisto

The only redeeming thing I see with that last one is it looks to be yummy chocolate. Otherwise, a sheet cake? Perhaps if they dropped a sheet cake and then fondanted the thing to cover the cracks. Or a roll in the sheet cake...but doesn't that come after the wedding?

wv: Tragge, as in the last cake needs a tragge team, stat!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

You keep on making these "cakes" ... I do not think they mean what you think they mean...

Love love love Princess Bride! Awesome... I was thinking pool party patty may have found some lightening sand... Ahhh the fire swamp... not bad really ;o)

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShawna

I know somethin' you don't know....I am not left handed.....not sure what those decorator's excuses are! Love the wrecks, love the PB references, great blog, great audience!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake Believe

My name is Inigo wrecked my cake....Prepare to DIE!

(need I repeat it over and over)....

also....the decorator messed up b/c he "is not left-handed?"

WV: ostract
a conjuncion of "o can someone extract those bakers heads out of their arses?"

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

Amy S: "I just want a simple sheet cake."

Wreckerator: "Aaaaas....yooooooouuuu...wiiiiiiiissshhhh...."

Amy S: "Oh, my sweet frosting, what have you done?"

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

I totally got the "to the pain" title, but it took me reading the post three times to realize that the whole post was princess bride themed!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

WV: Aphorc

"Gag me with aphorc! Heaven knows I won't be eating any of those cakes with one!"

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachele

I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.Quoting The Princess Bride helps too.

And maybe that last one is a hippopotamic land mass? Or the Chocolate Cliffs of Insanity?

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

LOVE all the princess bride references. Awesome.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I love the "Princess Bride" references...

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

yeah, the last one is deffinetly a cake with a sheet on it, instead of a sheet cake
like when they order "happy birthday, and under that, Sally" and thats literally what they get

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna

Cake is pain, highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersommer

I've made cakes with folded sheets of chocolate. But they were nice cakes a la the Cake Bible.

Cheesecake should never be embellished by anything more than chocolate curls or tons of cherry pie filling.

That shiny one looks like they're duplicating a blown tire.

The cyclops is cute. Even they have birthdays.

wv: squez...should have used a hairdryer and squezed that slab off chocolate into submission.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

LOVE the Princess Bride quote :D

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber Nicole

That first cake is the most horrifying thing Ive ever seen

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertracy

Love the blog, love the Princess Bride...only genius would mix the two! Congrats on a year and your book. I suppose all that's left to say is: Jen are there more wrecks ahead? If there aren't we'll all be dead :-)

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first cake is demonstrating that you can still maintain a cheerful attitude even after you've had a disfiguring accident.


WV comming: I keep comming back to this site whenever I need a good laugh.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh how I need a cycloptic smiley tee shirt. Those bright colors, that one giant eye, perfect attire for the next state fair. Please, can you put that design on a shirt?

I've had a bad cold this week, still can't hear well. I totally see how someone might hear 'regular sheet cake' as 'wrinkled sheet cake'.


May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only one that started salivating when they saw the giant pile of chocolate? If I got that instead of a plain ol' sheet cake, I think I'd be jumping for joy! mmmmm.....chocolate.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermegan

To the wrecky cake decorator:

"Fezzik, tear his arms off."

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

Dear God, what are these things?

Had to be said.

Thanks for all your hard work!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Inigo: Are you the Miracle Max who decorated cakes for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?

Me: Such anger can only be cured by a slice of cheesecake with extra poo. :)

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Can I just say, I love the Princess Bride allusions? It is the best movie EVER!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsprimadonna67

Wow! Sometimes there's nothing else to say!
Check out this website....

Would you actually PAY for one of these cakes?

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReba

I would say all of these cakes are are pretty much half dead...nah make that ALL dead.

And to these wreckerators: "friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed bakers in Greenland!"

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakedreamer

"WHAT?!", exclaimed my husband upon gazing at the cyclops clover. Yeh. It boggles the mind.
The barbie doll cake looks like she was supposed to be one of those that stand up inside a dress, but she fell. OOPS!
Poo-surfing hot dogs. I think it sounds like a good name for a band.
WV: misidi. Put these cakes out of their misidi.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterquat

So, SAT scores came out today. These Princess Bride references rescued my day. Thanks Jen!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDutch Girl

R.O.U.S. cakes? I don't think they exist.

wv: wrion--the elementary particle of wit.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicholas

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