My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

To the Pain

These cakes have been left to wallow in their freakish misery forever, but we viewers are the ones who really suffer for it.

For example, tell me you don't get a brain-ache from trying to comprehend...

The cycloptic smiley clover of despair!!
(Now with matching ladybug!)

And that popping noise can mean only one thing:

"Pool Party Patty" has some serious 'splainin' to do.

You know what every caramel cheesecake needs?

Pretty much anything but large poo-swirls topped with plastic mold-specked hot dogs and hamburgers, that's what. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the little surfing 'dog on the left:

C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?

And lastly, check out what Amy S. got for her rehearsal dinner when she requested a simple sheet cake with a logo on it:

I don't know what that is either, Amy, but I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.

Moira & Stephanie E., these cakes are inconceivable.

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Reader Comments (225)

OMG! I just found you and I am laughing hysterically!! This is such a great blog! I am a very good baker of cakes and this is almost like sugary/carbo porn! :) Thanks for making my day. Can't wait for another mishap helping to be served.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPink Martini

i can't even watch that movie when my husband is home because i quote all the lines and it bugs him! hahahaha

great use of the movie with the wrecks! brilliant.

"we'll never survive!"

"nonsense! you're only saying that because no one ever has!"

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen bryner

SO lovin' your princess bride appreciation. quite enjoyable.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLibba

"She doesn't eat the cake at this time."
"The cake doesn't get her. I'm explaining to to because you look nervous."
"I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit 'concerned' but that's not the same thing."

Best I could do. Oh, I notice the last one is covered by sheets of chocolate.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTJ

Wrecks and The Princess Bride... you have officially made my day. :) And the comments made me laugh just as much as the actual post. Thanks everyone! :)

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The Princess Bride is one of my absolute favorites, so I was thrilled when I saw the title! I was a little worried that no one else would catch all the references, but just glancing at the comments, I was pleasantly surprised! I love that there are so many other PB fans!!!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

"Quite a wreck, isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the cake makes you feel."

OK, I totally cheated and looked this up because I couldn't remember exactly how he put it.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTJ

I just want to know - does the sheetcake (I use the term loosely) contain cupcakes? It looks like someone just took a bunch of chocolate and wrapped it around a stack of cupcakes.

The hotdog surfing atop a chocolate poo wave...too awesome for words! Definitely a contender for a CW t-shirt.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterredraven

I have worked w/ the Victory Junction Gang (an awesome group, btw) and they are very protective of their logo and how it's used. Totally uncool of the cake maker to use it so randomly. Wierd, too!

Hot dogs surfing on carmel poo did make me snort Fresca through my nose. We're so 9 years old, aren't we??!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Oh ya...

And it's totally INCONTHEIVABLE(gotta insert the lisp, ya'll)

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I usually lurk here but I had to post regarding the last one. I was wondering if the person who ordered it did so over the phone...

That MAY explain the problem. A bad connection could be the reason that a SHEET cake comes out looking like... well, you get the idea.

Sorry if someone already suggested this possibility... there are alot of comments here!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRamona

I'm loving the theme today!

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrae

OMG. The caramel poo cake had me CRACKING UP for like 3 whole minutes. I have followed this blog for a long time but have never commented. That cake and the words you used to describe it had me in fits of laughter. A hot dog riding a poo wave!!!! HAHAHA! :-) Thanks for brightening my day.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterE

i love the princess bride.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwiggles and Trunks

Chocolate wrapping gone wrong on that last cake...

I'm still trying to figure out what the devil it's supposed to be.


Oh drat, there went a fuse in my brain...

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

You should get all sorts of Bonus Points for the Princess Bride references!! You totally scored..

and I'm afraid to admit that I kind of liked that first cake...

but that *Last* one???? O. M. G.!!!!!

It's kinda scary. -- I mean, what's in the thing???

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

Cupcake Cake! Cupcake cake cupcake cake cupcake caaaaaaaaaake!

*OMG LOVE* all the fantastic PB references...

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViva_Lolita

I'd like to pretend that they made one too many cakes that day. It was a slow day - let's say Thursday. Usually, they only sell x number of cakes, but someone got happy with the batter and they ended up with x+y. Instead of tossing them out they said, "F--- it; let dust off the those old plastic figurines no one wants, put a lot of frosting on 'em and watch what happens."

I'd like to believe in my strange little world that the frosting on the second cake is actually blueberry-, strawberry-, chocolate-, and banana-favored. Why? Who cares? It's just Thursday.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel H.

I like the hamburger and hot dog cheesecake. Those decorations look like the little Japanese gummies you can buy in Japanese import stores. The decorator was just trying to be cheeky (like how I tell my boyfriend that I want a "Sorry About The Herpes" Disney cake with decapitated clown heads at the edges as our wedding cake) - is a weird sense of humor not allowed?

I also love the funky chocolate coating on the sheet cake - very abstract - though the logo is just odd.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

Wow. . . these are very, uh, interesting.

May 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAleesuhn_Muhree

I knew I loved this blog before... but anything that quotes the BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME that many times in only 1 entry... *sigh* ... Jen ... if I were a man (and we were both unmarried) I would propose right now! ;)

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizardisagirl

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means
Love the Princess Bride Reference!

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin C

What, in the name of semi-sweet chocolate, is that last cake???

wv: delyma ~ quite obviously the cheesecake topped with mini hotdogs and hamburgers riding waves of poo.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Even the R.O.U.S.'s would leave those disasters alone.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrantically heidi

"Truly you have a dizzying aesthetic."
"Just wait till I get going!"
Loved it. (:

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa V.

Now I know for sure that we who love Cake Wrecks are a mighty fine group - cause we so love the Princess Bride! I knew I'd find my niche one day!


May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Okay... I had to leave earlier because I Just..
wrap my brain around the last one.
.. I ... I can't..
I still can't..
What the heck?!

wv: (first one!)
tomin - the race that cake wrecktators are part of. Not Human, they're Tomin...

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKisa

"A word, my Lady? We are but poor cakewreckers, is there a bakery nearby?"

"There's nothing nearby, not for miles."

"Good then there will be no one to hear you scream!"

Poo surfing hotdogs, what's not to love?!?!

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarina

Wrecksisstant: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent cake.

Wreckerator: Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"mini hot dog riding a poo wave" You crack me up!

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

Oh, and about that last cake:
"Since the invention of the Cake Wreck there have been five Wrecks that were rated the most hideous, the most awful. This one left them all behind."

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Mmmmm, nice, love the shine on assorted excrement themed cakes....shiny love shiny.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJay

From all the Princess Bride refs, I think it's obvious the last one is a particularly unphotogenic ROUR*.

Or at least the droppings of one...

(Rodent of Unusual Size)


May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Anybody Want a Peanut?"

Love the Princess Bride Reference, too funny! The surfing hotdog... priceless! Keep up the excellent work.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Ugh. Looking at those cakes made me WANT to take Iocane powder.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelli F.

Are you kidding??? I mean in the cake world miniature food items riding on giant blobs of..... caramel is like the new naked babies riding on carrots, I mean seriously you gotta keep up with the latest trends....

W.V. Spitio... I think it must be the name of the overly artistic baker who made that last cake....[fake french accent] "Hmmf, they hire me for my creative greatness and all they want is a little 'sheet cake.' I will show them what a great Spitio cake really looks like!"

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Me thinks I'd rather be tortured crying out "TO BLATHE" than lay mine eyes on a hotdog surfing poo cake!

And, just perhaps the "Sheet cake" ...was made by a little old Italian Woman who pronounces $hit like Sheeet! Therefore she got what she asked for...hmmm just maybe.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I must have been truely out of it yesterday. It took until late in the day before I realized you were referencing the Princess Bride.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know...I keep looking at that last one, and having a conversation with myself:

It's ugly
But it's wrapped in dark chocolate.
What is it?
It's wrapped in dark chocolate.
Who would pay for that thing?
It's wrapped in dark chocolate.

You get the idea. If you put it in front of me, I might crab out how it looks...after I ate it.

It's wrapped in dark chocolate.

and I'm apparently Inigo Montoya's sister given my id's predilection to repetition.

It's wrapped in dark chocolate.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I loved the Princess Bride references in the post, and the ones in the comments are making me laugh even harder. "I clearly cannot eat the cake in front of me." being my favorite.
I think I'm going to have to watch PB soon.

wv= repas
Thank you for the offer, but I think I'll repas on these cakes.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am crying from laughing so hard. Hot dog surfing poo?!? Once again your commentary is the best.

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

I had to squint a little and travel back many years to my childhood, but the "psychadelic clover", I think it supposed to be a Frodis from an episode of "The Monkees" ( )


May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 15 month old daughter just called that first one "Elmo." Keen eye, kid!

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkaty

"C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"

Best. Quote. Ever.


May 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterveg-o-matic

So my mother in law is actually the one that ordered the sheet cake... she was so flabbergasted when she saw that cake she was speechless... I didn't find out until later that is NOT what she intended. And the reason it has the VJGC logo is because my husband and I met as working as counselors there, it's a great place. But yes, the cake is a running joke in our family...

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy S

Maybe the sheet cake broke into pieces when they removed the pan. So they said, "Here, let's pile it up and wrap this fondant around it."

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermittens

Is it just me or do these blobs of chocolate look like melted peeps?

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Go Furiously

The yellow one eyed monster is just... wrong. But ya gotta love the pool surfin' weenie! I didn't even know they made a meat flavored cheese cake!!

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBunny

lol!! thanks for the laugh!

May 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElle

At first I thought the poo swirls were chocolate-covered marshmallow peeps. Am I on to something here? I'm thinking that chocolate-covered marshmallow peeps might be the most brilliant idea ever.

May 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAphrodine

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